I am continuing here with where I left off on day 329 in regards to looking up to someone and rather than inferiorizing oneself in comparison to them, utilizing them as a mirror for the potential that one has not yet developed within oneself.
I am here specifically looking at and investigating the word ‘specificity’ or ‘being specific’. The importance of specificity is something that I learned only when I started to getting involved with Desteni. Before that I had never considered how important it is to be specific, and even in situations where I knew that I was compromising myself, another or a particular situation by not being specific I justified not applying myself in specificity. Through walking with Desteni I have come to appreciate and see the value of applying specificity, both in my daily practical life, in my support of others as well as in my own process.
So the person that I wrote about in the previous post that I have looked up to, was probably the first one who showed me how enjoyable being specific can be and how one can make one’s life and thus oneself in it more appreciated through applying specificity. Until then I had heard about the importance of being specific in relation to writing and self-forgiveness – and it was something I dreaded. I would literally fear and resist going into specificity in my writings and the way I manipulated myself into justifying that in my mind was by creating an experience of it being ‘tedious’, ‘boring’ and ‘unnecessary’ to be specific.
Since then I have learned how awesome it is when you are specific about what you do. It can be anything from writing an email to folding my laundry or having to explain something to someone. I’ve also seen the consequences that can unfold when one is not specific, when one takes shortcuts or make assumptions or slack. Through walking with Desteni and understanding the importance of specificity, I have also learned that the more responsibility we are able to take on in ourselves, in accordance with the expansion of our self-honesty and understanding of the mind and who we are in relation to it, the more important it becomes to be specific. Even seemingly ‘little things’ like the way we move our eyes or the words we use can have tremendous effects on ourselves or other people. In chaos theory, this is described as the ‘butterfly effect’ where small actions in one part of the world, like a butterfly spreading its wings, can potentially set off landslides in another part of the world. This is due to the interconnectedness of all things where, whatever we do has an impact on the whole – even if we don’t see the immediate connections. That is why it is so important to be specific in what we do.
I have been rather satisfied with the development of specificity in my process, because it is something I have been very aware of, for example in relation to not ‘cutting corners’ or taking ‘shortcuts’ when cleaning. Previously I would make justifications and for instance leave a part of my cleaning for another time or not do it properly, thinking, “It doesn’t matter if I do it properly…”. I have discovered the satisfaction and sense of completion that comes with doing things properly and making sure I direct them to the fullest of my abilities. This can then also be directly translated to who we are in process and in our relationship with the mind, because for example leaving a corner of the house dirty is an act of self-compromise, sabotage and essentially self-abuse through justification – where we don’t direct ourselves to the utmost of our abilities.
When I look at the person whom I have looked up, I see that this person has lived the word ‘specificity’ within the expression of being ‘specific’ absolutely. Living like that creates a clear, practical and enjoyable living space, where no stone is left unturned. This is again something one can then transfer to how one walks one’s process – in doing the exact same in one’s writings and assignments or when applying self-forgiveness out loud. To me, there’s nothing more comfortable than having sorted out my space, carefully placing the items in a practical way for easy access and even finding creative ways to optimize my living space. I do however find, that I have not yet lived this word absolutely – which is also why it comes up as a projected potential that I see mirrored back to me in the person I look up to. Again, it’s not about a real person, but about what I mirror back to myself through observing them.
So I see that I have started developing specificity and I see that what I haven’t yet developed in that context is an absolute decision to be specific no matter what. So now that I am looking at it, I see that it’s not actually the word ‘specificity’ that I am working with here, but in fact the word ‘assiduous’. I looked up a bunch of different words to find one that describes what I see in the person I’ve looked up to when it comes to how she applies herself in specificity that I have not yet lived myself. Assiduous means “Constant in application or attention; diligent”. What I’ve seen in her is exactly that, being relentless in her specificity, uncompromising – meaning that being specific is not something she’s practicing doing or that she only does with certain points and allows herself to be selective; no, it has become part of her natural state of being, a constant pushing herself forward to be as specific – and within that as considerate, caring and responsible – as possible. I remember one time where we were relocating a plant from a pot and she explained to me how it is a traumatic experience for the plant to be yanked out of its pot. So she assisted me with how to carefully help the plant out of the pot without it being too traumatic for it or it getting injured. Or when making sauce and being specific about the process and the ingredients or in discussing a definition of a word in an email and whether that word will have the best outcome in terms of how it will be received. She has understood and has taken responsibility for being specific because she understands how, when she acts and moves, it affects others and so herself. ‘Assiduously specific’ is therefore what I will be working with developing and integrating into myself where being specific is not something selective that I can turn off and on or something that I am merely practicing and thereby allowing myself to cut corners – but instead a decided way of living that I take responsibility for, both in my personal process as well as in my interaction with others and with the world in general.
In the next post I will work with the dimensions of why and how I haven’t lived assiduousness in relation to specificity and from there direct myself to implement practical solutions from where I can integrate this expression into myself and my life.
Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course