How many parents do not feel like bad mothers and fathers, constantly existing in guilt and self-judgment every single day? How many do not believe that everyone else is perfect and well-equipped of being parents? And how many actually are? Welcome to the Dark-Side of The Fairytale of Parenting.
A couple of days ago I was walking home and outside the door to the apartment building was a boy at the age of three standing with his mother. The boy was playing on a rock covered in snow and the mother was standing a little to the side with her hands and face focused on her phone. First I thought about how it was not cool that she was preoccupied on her phone while the child was left to play by himself and I felt sorry for him.
Then it occurred to me that properly a lot if not most parents do actually not enjoy spending time with their children and that there are very few people who are either educated to teach children or who “naturally” simple enjoy it (often also because they enjoy the self-image of themselves as a parent.)
I started looking at how tough it is to be a parent and spending so much time not actually wanting to be with the child, but having to pretend that one is enjoying it, because otherwise one is classified as a “bad parent”. It really takes very little before people are seen as bad parents and ironically it takes a very long time before abuse against children by their parents is being stopped by anyone.
So I was looking at how isolated parents feel and how ashamed they are and how they judge themselves for not actually wanting to be with their children, but they have no where to change this or even share themselves openly. Why? Because most people are able to put up a front of looking like they got everything (and everyone) under control, that they are oh so happy with where they are in their lives, even though underneath it all they sometimes regret even having had children.
The dream of a happy family that started off so promising with a man and a woman that loved each other and a love-child under way in a big fertile stomach, ends abruptly as soon as the parents realize, for real, that this – is for life. And the man is not the man the woman dreamed he would be and even though she knew all along, she pushed her gut-feeling away for the picket-fence dream. And the man realizes that the woman’s body is changing and is not what he dreamed it would be and the woman who before wanted sex all the time, are now devoting all her attention to the child. And the child is screaming louder and more intense than either of them could have ever imagined and the anger and helplessness coming up inside them is so unbearable that they sometimes feel like they are going insane and they secretly wish that they could just get up and leave – some even do. And for the vast majority that is not rich, life is filled with money-problems and bills that seem to pile up like literal mountains of guilt and debt and powerlessness – and it feels like everything is just piles of shit on an otherwise shitty day.
It is the classic story, right? The Dark-Side of the fairy-tale of parenting.
And everyone knows it or have experienced it for themselves as parents or children themselves, this apathy and feeling like you’re trapped in a nightmare of your own creation. And you don’t really understand how you got there, because everything was supposed to be fine, once you got the man, once you got the job, once you got the house, once you got the child.
This is why there is no continuation to “they lived happily ever after…” – because deep down everyone knows that it is a crock of shit, yet everyone also insist on “giving it a shot” anyway, because maybe, just maybe this is the right man, the right job, the right house and the right decision to get a child just now that will make all the pieces of one’s shitty life suddenly fall into perfect place and the birds will forever twitter in joy – NOT.
So – what is this? Because it is not some single man, woman or family who is participating in this – it is literally every single person on earth, (except for the few who for some reason have been designed with a different program to stand as a contrast and a teaser to show everyone else what they’re missing out of.) who is participating in this “ride of a life-time” – of every life-time, where we chase a fantasy reality, perpetuated as real and realistically obtainable by virtually every single movie, magazine, newspaper and recording artist on the planet.
And by keeping up the charade, these fake faces with toothpaste add smiles and perfectly kept homes and bodies, for those who are even able to do that much, by telling each other stories about how much we love our kids and how blessed we are to have had them and how we have never regretted it for a single second, even though we do in silence every day – we keep this bullshit sugar-coated night-mare going.
So – it is time for some honest parenting. It is time for self-honest parents that dare share and expose and face their experiences with being parents. Parents that dare facing the Dark-Side of what it means to be a parent.
How many parents do actually enjoy spending time with their children? How many do not secretly wish that they never had children or feel ashamed that their children is reflecting the absolute worst in themselves? Why are these points never addressed or openly spoken about? At the Desteni Forum they are – and we bring all points back to Self – in Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty – so that we can Stand as Self-Responsible Human Beings and as examples for the generations to come.
The truth is that no-one has ever learned how to actually be parents, because how can we be intimate with our children, when we don’t even know how to be intimate with ourselves? How can we enjoy and express ourselves with our children, when we exist in constant fear, suppression and self-denial trying to get the hell out of any ‘authentic’ experience of vulnerability and openness because that only make us face how we really feel inside. And we believe that if we were to face that, our worlds could collapse and we can’t, we just can’t. So we don’t – and we keep pretending that everything is fine and dandy, just like everyone else. And we keep getting up in the morning and going into the hamster wheel we call “my life-choice” or “my career” or whatever we wish to imagine our life was like, believing that we say it enough, perhaps it will come true one day. It doesn’t.
In the Desteni I Process, we walk-with ourselves and each other to support ourselves to become self-honest and self-responsible parents, to ensure that the shit we’ve been born into and have carried with us from our parents and theirs before them, is not transferred to yet another generation. And as such we put and end to the viscous cycle of the sin of the fathers and prepare the birth of a NEW humanity – a humanity that cares for all life, equal and one.
Self-Honest Parenting in all its Dimensions is the Pinnacle for the Birth of a New Humanity.
When I was four years old, I clearly remember a situation where I was forced by the care-takers on my kindergarten to knit a key chain. I resisted every moment of it. The point for them, was to teach me to sit down and do something, because I was always on the move, always moving around. It was a sort of signature of my childhood.
Actually I felt uncomfortable when I sat down and did nothing or specifically when I had to do something that took effort and time. I saw it as a waste of time. I felt trapped. This has basically become a way of living for me, because ever since, I have resisted doing that which I am not good at and specifically that which takes time, patience and dedication. I have for several years had a theory that it is about me running away from myself, existing as a propelling forward and when I stop, I am faced with myself. It has become a way of surviving through suppressing myself here. This is why it is so assisting for me to discipline myself, structure myself and to work consistently with a project until it is done.
I have chickened out of facing myself directly, in silence and in “simply being here” as well as in the point of dedicatedly learning a skill. With the excuse of this being “boring”, “hard work” and that I am “inadequate” to do it. I have never allowed myself to learn anything that took a long time to learn and that was difficult. I have had a direct aversion against such points – actually fear.
When I was a child I wanted to learn how to knit and when I heard about the “obligations” of what it required, I lost interest in it. This is but one example of the many, many points I have started only to quit immediately as I realized that it would take effort to succeed within and become effective at.
When looking at it now, I feared being enslaved to the point of knitting – the commitment of it and I also feared walking the process. I was also simply lazy – I did not want to put in the work. I wanted everything ready here and now and if it was not, I feared missing out. It is this propelling forward point again – more, faster, quicker. And in this it has been about consuming the world, gaining or about impressing others – not about the joy of knitting itself – or that is what my initial starting-point was, but I dismissed myself within that. In fact I have dismissed myself this entire time.
Self-Forgiveness and investigation on the point of resisting “Hard Work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being alone with myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to feel uncomfortable when I am alone with myself without a point of stimulation
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that being “with” myself indicates that I have perceived myself as separate from myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from myself and within doing so perceive myself as either with or without myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to be without myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive myself as “with” myself, only because I have created a point of separation as being “without” myself
I experience fear because I am not satisfied with my realizations in writing. I want more.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to get back to how I was writing before
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect more of myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect less of myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to condition, define, judge and perceive myself according to the past
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compare myself to how I perceive myself in the past
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compete with a past image and self-definition of and as myself
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to push through the resistance towards writing myself out in self-honesty and I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make excuses, justifications and for having deceived and manipulated myself through thoughts and emotions to give up on myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept fear as my friend and protector
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe, define and experience the experience of fear as energy and a knot in my stomach as a signal that there is danger a-head, when in fact all there is, is the mind and how I either accept myself as the mind or not
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to write as compared to an image of myself from the past and thereby and within that condition myself, separate myself from myself here
I write Here – I am Here – I will not allow myself to compete because I do not accept winning and losing as the premise for my existence as it has proven itself useless.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist writing based on a resistance towards walking process to the end within and as an expectation of process to be “long and hard”
It was exactly the same as when I was child and wanted to learn to play guitar, knit, play handball and other points – I gave up immediately within looking at the prospects of the process of actually learning the skills. I have used this pattern and/personality to give up on myself in this process. It is the same when I have looked at the SF required to stop the mind and start birthing self as life and when I have looked at the MC – it looked “too hard” – that it was going to “take too long”. And I have refused to face myself in this because I have been ashamed that this is who I really am – lazy and a coward.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame my mother for having allowed me to become a lazy coward
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to abdicate myself in and as having allowed myself to become a lazy coward by abdicating self-responsibility and projecting the responsibility for me having allowed myself to become a lazy coward onto my mother
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge and define myself as a lazy coward
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to take the point of being a lazy coward personally, instead of realizing that it is a specific personality-construct in the general self-enslavement and separation that I have allowed myself to be and become
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up on myself immediately upon facing a point that is not easy for me to excel in and which I have to practice patiently and consistently before seeing the results I want
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist as impatience
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear and resist that which I cannot easily control or direct
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to excel only in that which I already found easy
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist within and as a constant state of self-abdication and giving up on myself
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that when I said no to learning knitting, I was in fact giving up on myself within not wanting to waste time learning a skill
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and fear that I would be wasting time by learning a skill or dedicating myself to learning something
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear missing out of something else, were I to commit myself to a specific project or point
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to regret and feel disappointed in myself for not having allowed myself to dedicate myself to learn a skill or dedicate myself to a point
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to be everywhere at once and for fearing to tie myself to one point or one expression and thereby missing out on others – instead of realizing that it is within this fear and desire that I have enslaved myself already
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear not being good at something
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the experience of not knowing how to direct or solve a point
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deliberately resist points of difficulty because of the experience I had when faced with such points
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create, manifest and participate in an experience of inferiority towards that which I do not already know how to do and therefore avoid doing it to not have to feel inferior
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear not being in control of my reality and therefore having deliberately avoided all points I did not quickly understand so to hold my “head above water” at all times and not risk “drowning” – instead of realizing that by allowing myself to be directed by fear, to suppress myself, to resist facing myself, to restraint and limit myself to follow this fear, I was in fact “drowning” in not allowing myself to expand
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify to myself not pushing through the fear and resistance to learn something that requires dedication, time and patience, by believing it to be a waste of time and by devaluating it
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to waste so much of my life resisting that which I find difficult instead of pushing through the point and pushing myself to learn until I am self-directed within the specific point at hand
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist learning and expanding myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see and define learning as a waste of time
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist as a waste of time
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create a positive self-defined personality of being against the system, specifically within and as, in relation to going to school and learning – and I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use that as an excuse for not facing myself within and as the fear of that which I am not already good at or that which I find easy already
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear hard work
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of fearing hard work
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see myself with the eyes of others and within that judge myself as a spoiled, ungrateful brat – instead of realizing that it is purely me seeing myself as such
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to give myself a chance to learn something
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to be patient with myself
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to excel and thus refuse all and anything where I did not immediately excel
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear hard work within and as perceiving hard work as enslaving and thereby misunderstanding the point of enslavement in this world, which is not the work itself but the system within which it exists and who and what we are within that
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist and avoid hard work because it is hard
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist and avoid all and everything that I perceive as “hard” or “difficult”
I Forgive myself that I have never Accepted and Allowed myself to live and express the expression of pushing through resistance fully and unconditionally
I Forgive myself that I have never Accepted and Allowed myself to live and express myself in and as the expression of stamina
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define, accept, perceive and judge myself as “someone without a spine”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to want life to be easy, enjoyful and fun, but without wanting to do the work to ensure this
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up immediately on myself when something is not as easy as I want it to be
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive, see and define “hard work” as negative.
Through this writing I have been wondering where this point originates from – because it is clearly to do with the word “hard work” and specifically in relation to that work, I see how I defined and perceived my mom as hard working and all I saw was how she was tired and enslaved to this work, how it was fucking up her body and how we were both compromised because of it. So that explains somewhat my aversion against “hard work”. But this is only one layer of the point, because the point of refusing to dedicate and discipline myself is not about that. It is interesting how my schooling was actually supporting the point. Often with these points however there is a specific memory or trauma that has triggered this specific behavior, but I cannot identify it. I remember this point as I mentioned already as far back as 4 years old. So it might have emerged even before that, as a “who I am”.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate “hard work” with the memory of my mother working at the eldery home when I was a small child and how she hated the work and her own experience of herself at the time
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to limit, condition and enslave myself to define, perceive, judge and experience hard works as negative and bad associated to how I saw my mother when I was a child.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from ‘hard work’ as persistent application and pushing through in working in and as the physical
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear becoming my mother within and as her experience of herself as I perceived her when I was a child –and therefore and thereby having resisted, refused and avoided all I perceived as possibly being “hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved, losing myself, being in pain, being bored, having to compromise myself were I to do “hard work” OR do something which I do not find enjoyable or easy.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to enslave and limit myself to only be motivated and only move myself to do that which I already perceive as fun and easy
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate working dedicated and patiently and which required pushing and discipline and consistently with “hard work” and because I perceived “hard work” as negative, I did not allow myself to work as such.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved and trapped if I am to do that which I have perceived, defined and judged as“hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear losing myself if I do that which I have perceived, defined and judged as“hard work” “hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, define, judge and experience all actions and work that is not immediately fun and easy as “hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resent “hard work” because I resent what “it did” to my mother, instead of realizing that it was not the work that “did it” to my mother, but my mother who allowed herself to feel enslaved and miserable
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear “hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the existence of “hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resent that there exists such a thing as “hard work”
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate “hard work” with men working in a coal mine or children working with rocks as slaves and Chinese factory workers that work 24/7
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved to hard work
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear facing “hard work” as it exists as that which we as humans are forced to do, where we directly abuse and deteriorate the body
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept the existence of “hard work” as it exists as abuse and exploitation
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that much of the comforts and pleasures that I can enjoy are a direct result of someone else’s “hard work” in which they’re enslaved and forced to work to survive and abuse themselves in order to survive – and I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that the comfort I have been able to enjoy is directly made possible by the fact that others are working as slaves to survive
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to face myself within and as the implications of “hard work” in and as this world and why it exists the way it does – as a direct consequence of the capitalistic system of inequality
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist deliberately in ignorance of the suffering of those that “work hard” because they have no choice and who’s working-conditions are fucked so that others can feel and be rich.
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear and resist an refuse to face myself within and as the inequality in which “hard work” exists
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself for having allowed myself to exist within and as justifying inequality through deliberate ignorance and self-deception
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having allowed myself to exist within and as justifying inequality through deliberate ignorance and self-deception
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify myself within and as deliberately ignoring inequality and abuse within and as “hard work” as it exists in and as this world, through the desire to live an easy and comfortable life
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having justified abuse and suffering through the desire to live an easy and comfortable life
I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame myself for having deliberately ignored suffering as dismissible and not concerning me
I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that within and as resisting, denying and fearing “hard work”, I was in fact fearing myself as the manifestation of deliberate abuse and inequality as exploitation through capitalism that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as well as the cowardice through which I have “tackled” this point by sticking my head in the sand and making all kinds of excuses as to why I should not face this suffering, abuse and inequality directly and within self-responsibility
I stand one and equal with and as the abuse that I have allowed through justifying inequality and within that exploitation as “hard work” of some for the benefit of others.
I do not want to live in a world, where some are forced to allow themselves to be abused and exploited in order to exist and where others are deliberately ignoring the fact that their comfort and pleasure and easy living is only made possible by the suffering of others.
Re-definition of “hard work”
My personal interpretation of “hard work” is related to the idea of “hard work” within and as the society, where “hard work” on one hand is considered admirable and honorable and on the other side “hard”. “hard work” is within this also associated to someone who is dedicated, pushing forward and who has stamina – perhaps even initially referring to physical workers, but transmuted into all areas of work and study : “she was a hard-worker” – is a positive expression. So one side of it, does in fact refer to the enslavement of working, referring to physically hard labor. And the other side is referring to a character-trait with a person. I’ve then created a mixed version of the word.
But: to redefine the work, it makes no sense that being dedicated and pushing oneself is defined as “hard” – so I see no reason that this word requires to keep existing, except for referring to physically strenuous labor that requires physical strength. That is the common sense definition that is not polarized.
The point in relation to me here, is more referring to the act of someone pushing themselves through an activity that is not necessarily easy and the motion of pushing in itself as well. But I would like to all that something else.
I do not yet have a specific word for this but I know exactly what it means.
I dedicate myself to push through this and to not accept myself to limit myself to perceiving specific work a specific way.
AS LONG AS IT TAKES – WHAT EVER IT TAKES – UNTIL IT IS DONE
This is my new motto of application.
‘Easy Living’ is not supposed to be at the expense of others – In fact that is not cool or acceptable in any way what so ever. Easy Living is supposed to be easy because it is enjoyable for all. Because no one is forced to work or to abuse themselves to survive.
Vote for an Equal Money System – For a Dignified Life for All.
North Korea is a secret state, and is accepted as such by the general World society – perhaps because of a fear that they have nuclear weapons — or perhaps North Korea is accepted in the world as as a state of secrecy, because we each ourselves accept a living North Korea within ourselves – as secret states of dictatorship, fear and self-delusion, that we keep hidden from everyone, including ourselves.
The following is an exposure of the secret mind of humanity as an example of how what exists inside us, in and as mind-realities, is existing outside of us equally, manifested as the worldly reality we all share. We have as human beings compartmentalized ourselves within and as the mind, where some parts that ‘fit the bill’ of ‘civilization’ is allowed to be expressed out into the open, both within ourselves and in participation with others, were other ‘parts’ are keep securely hidden and suppressed, so to avoid being exposed.
Many probably know a few details about the North Korean regime or it’s absurd leadership with Kim Jun-Sun as the “father” of the country known as “the eternal president” and his son Kim-Jung-Il who is currently in the process of handing down the role of sole dictator to another son in the line of ill’s. According to Kim Il-sung, the way of living in North Korea is based on the Juche Idea which is based on the belief that “man is the master of everything and decides everything.” So how exactly is it that man is the master and what kind of master is he?
Let’s have a look at ‘who’ we, as North Korea, are:
There are not many secret places left on earth, and ironically, the one’s that are, are not the pretty rainforest Lagunas as one might imagine, but instead secret places of torture and suffering.
One of those places is now being exposed by Amnesty International: The secret political prison work camps in North Korea.
Amnesty has gained access to satellite photos of the area, where they camps are situated in 2001 and again in 2011 and through analyzing the photos, they were able to see that more camps with more “political prisoners” had emerged in the ten years. The camps are believed to have been existing since the 1950’s. According to Amnesty’s Asia Pacific director, Sam Zarifi: “These are places out of sight of the rest of the world, where almost the entire range of human rights protections that international law has tried to set up for the last 60 years are ignored,”
Subsequently, Amnesty has released a detailed document describing the life in the camps as horrific, where torture, starvation and mass execution is everyday life for the, estimated, more than 200.000 inmates. The document is based on testimonies from over 15 North Koreans who have escaped the camps as well as guards working in the camps.
According to the Amnesty report, the people, arrested and incarcerated as criminals, are often people who have done nothing but tried to get out of the country, are exposed to torture and imprisonment, water-boarding, sleep deprivation, bamboo pieces placed under the fingernails and imprisonment – sometimes for months on end – inside a 4ft (1.22m) by 4ft cell. This is the stuff nightmares is made of, yet for the people of North Korea, it is a plausible every day scenario.
In the camps it is even custom that people are held as ‘guilty-by-association’, simply because one of their relatives has been arrested. Here the prisoners work from 4 in the morning to 8 at night, after which they are ‘educated’ in the North Korean military ideology. But even ‘normal’ North Koreans who are not sentenced to live in the camps, share stories of brutality and abuse and are exposed to starvation and horrible living conditions. It is clear to see that the regime itself wants no one to leave and spends massive resources on keeping the population oppressed and indoctrinated.
Testimonials from with the secret regime
The following are testimonials from North Koreans that clearly describe the horrendous regime and expose the abuse that is accepted as every day living for millions of people.
A 70 year old woman who escaped last year says to BBC that:
“We don’t ask to wear good clothes, to dance or play. We only want full stomachs. But every day we wake up and our first thought is ‘How are we going to get some food for breakfast?’ Then ‘How are we going to get something for dinner?’,” she says.
“Living like that makes people go crazy. Just brush against someone in the street and they will start fighting you. In their hearts everyone knows we live like dogs. But no-one can say it out loud.”
The quote above shows a mentality that might be prominent in North Korea, because of the extreme conditions of fear for survival that people are living under, but it is actually something that most humans will recognize – the belief that we must fight others to exist and how we live accordingly in fear of not surviving.
The following is a letter written by Choi Hyok, a 12 year old boy, who escaped to China with his two siblings, a younger brother and an older sister. In bringing the point back to self, realizing that both sides of the abuse – the oppressor and the oppressed is existing within us, it is clear how we enslave ourselves within the abuse. What is being revealed here is even further a clear exposure of the world society as a whole and where the bottom line is drawn, when it comes to survival. Money is only point standing between the three siblings and even the slightest notion of freedom, which in this case, is simply seen as surviving and not going to prison.
“Dear Uncle, How are you? North Korea knows about us. North Koreans came to us for questioning and they made reports about us as they wished and took away all the reports with them. If you don’t help us, we will kill ourselves because we don’t want to go to North Korea. Because, if we go to North Korea, we will be imprisoned for the rest of our lives…Please rescue us. If you rescue us, I will repay it later. Really, really, I want to be free. Please help us. I pray for freedom, to Lord. I want to be free to study, freedom, freedom, freedom
In the evening, 6 April, 07
From Choi Hyok”
Below is a post I wrote on the Desteni forum, the first time I realized that there is a North Korea in me. It is almost two years ago and the realization still stands clear as day, yet unresolved in the world as a whole or in us as individuals – as states of secrecy still exists within and as the world and within human beings as secret mental realities, where we oppress and abuse ourselves as parts that dominate and subordinate, as autocratic delusions of grandeur, where a single desire, fantasy or fear is controlling our every move – and doing so, with the permission of us as a whole.
“In a video about North Korea I watched today, one of the North Koreans being interviewed said that they believed that the whole world was a prison, because they had never learned about or seen anything else than the prisons of North Korea. This guy had been born into the prison and they did not know they were in North Korea, who had put them there or why.
Just that they were the ones “making mistakes” while the guards were the ones “not making mistakes”.
They are being tortured, starved, isolated and working as slaves within the North Korean regime.
No one can get in and no one besides this guy escaping has seen these “camps”.
After escaping the guy went to china or South Korea, and he describes how he is not very impressed. All he cares about is food.
It got me wondering about the North Korea inside me, because in a way this utterly extreme country is actually showing me something about myself that I had not seen before. When the guy said; “We thought the whole world was a prison” he was in fact correct – it is. But they are the one´s experiencing it in it´s true brutality. Of course these people have no chance of getting out or realizing anything.
What I found within looking at myself within this, what happens in North Korea, can only happen because no one sees it. They make sure to keep everyone out, and no one probably really wants to deal with them anyway. In the video it is said that the government or the leaders are terrified to be invaded which is also why they have kept everyone out.
This is the same way suppression’s work. What ever is suppressed can only control and direct as long as I do not see them or know that I am actually allowing and creating them. In secret I have actually submitted to them from fear of realizing how I am actually allowing myself to exist.
They know what they are doing is fucked up – why else would they hide it?
I have started to look at the personality designs of other countries as well, and it is pretty clear that they are all based on fear of loosing themselves.”
Another Destonian, Garbrielle Goodrow, wrote a reply to my post and shared a different perspective on the North Korea of humanity
“I studied these brutality suppressive nations this semester, and for me i came to the conclusion that they are based in fear of loss. Fear of losing power, wealth, domination, control, themselves, ect. it is a real tragedy that so many people are driven and ruled by fear, and creating the misery with self here in this reality. I see this in me as well, as one and equal with theses oppressive regimes fear and abuse, and it will not change until i stop the abuse of accepting and allowing this to continue through honestly accepting responsibility for the abuse i participate in and the fear i allow. On a grander scale, the dominant countries, such as the US and Britain for example, let this continue through fear as well, fear of loss of wealth, power, and dominance, not having the slightest care of the human suffering, but only caring for the things they fear losing. It will stop when we/i, the Self, stops.”-
When looking at North Korea as an example of a manifested symbol of the mind, it is a dictatorship that is existent upon all members of the group submitting themselves to the belief that one man is god and that it is their duty to subordinate themselves to him – they do so, either brainwashed to submission or out of fear. In a single human, this could be how we exist with an addiction or a personality trait, believing that if we do not follow this ‘rule of living’, something bad will happen to us, exactly how the addiction or belief becomes the king of all our actions or the god we submit ourselves to.
Another aspect is how the rest of the world acts towards North Korea, which is by largely not doing anything at all. Several sanctions has been made to send a signal to the North Koreans, with the result that the same people that were poor before, are starving now. In a human being’s mind, this could be when we decide to go on a diet and literally starve ourselves to stop an addiction to sugar or food, but where all that happens, is that we’re abusing our bodies, because the real problem was within the structure of ‘who’ we are and not what we do.
As Garbrielle said: “It will stop when we/i, the Self, stops”
This is the pinnacle of all points of abuse and inequality in the world as well as within each of us – that it only stops when self stops. And in doing so we stand self-responsible for what is here as ourselves and as this world in its entirety. We do, as all parts, make up the whole that is this world, just as we within ourselves as a whole, accept who and what we allow ourselves to exist as. If one part is allowed to dominate from a separate mind-reality of delusion, and we as a whole, abdicate self-responsibility and submit ourselves to this part or even ignore and suppress this part, we are accepting and allowing the abuse to continue. This is how the world in which we exist, creates such a manifestation as the secret regime of North Korea. It can only exist by our permission and acceptance of it, however that is made – through deliberate ignorance and abdication of self-responsibility of the world society as a whole, as each of us allow our own North Korea – be that fear, greed, submission or self-delusion, to dominate and control us.
North Korea exists within us, as us, through our permission and therefore North Korea exists as an actual manifested regime. We’ve accepted and allowed parts, which we’ve separated ourselves into and as, to dominate, direct and control us, while we as a whole, in one way or another have accepted this – by turning our backs on ourselves, by suppressing parts of ourselves into secrecy and by living incognito in abdication of self-responsibility.
There is only one solution and that is to bring it back to self. To realize how we’ve been accepting inner North Korea’s, to admit this to ourselves as a first step that will enable us to eventually stand together, as whole to stop the abuse that we’ve allowed in humanity as a whole.
At Desteni and in the Desteni I Process this is exactly what we work with – to expose, investigate and understand our inner mental realities, where we exist in separation from the actual real world that we all share and where addictions, fears and delusions are what directs us in our daily participation. We work within ourselves to stop and take self-responsibility so that we actually become able and capable of changing and directing ourselves, to stop existing in and as separation so that we may start living in self-dignity.
The purpose of an Equal Money System is equally to stop all abuse and separation so that we may live in equality and self-dignity – yet with the EMS, we are actually changing the whole as who we are, at a global scale. Because just as we require to expose and stop the inner abuse as North Korean realities in our minds, we require to stop the actual manifestation of North Korea and all other regimes and institutions of abuse and inequality that exist in the world, because of who we are, as who and what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, as individuals and as a whole. Furthermore, instead of money being the symbol of the acceptance of inequality as it currently exists, in the EMS the nature of money, just as the nature of man, will be changed into being the value of life – where all is considered and cared for equally.
Recommended watch: You are me in another life : Video by Bernard Poolman about the holographic nature of the world