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A Vixen's Journey to Life

~ "Though She be but Little, She is Fierce." – Shakespeare

A Vixen's Journey to Life

Tag Archives: NGO

REALITY CHECK: On the Deception of “Good intentions”

17 Monday Jan 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Okategoriserade

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

abuse, Aid Organizations, Aid Workers Abuse, Amnesty International, Deception, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, DIP, Doctors without Borders, Earthquake, Equal and One, Equal Money For All, Equal Money System, Equality, Giving Aid, Good Intentions, Greed, Haiti, Haiti Aid, Haiti Charity, Haiti Election, Haiti Humanitarian Crisis, Haiti Scandal, Humanitarian Aid, Inequality, International Politics, ITD, Money, money-system, NGO, NGO's, One Vote For World Equality, Red Cross, Self-Deception, SRA, starvation, Suffering, Trust, UN

“The foreigners love all these images of poor people to sell, to make Money” –

“We want justice for all those who live in tents, while the NGO’s make millions”

” We are telling the States and the NGO’s: You’ve made Money for one year – We’ve been in tents for one year – people have sent millions to help us, but nothing has been done” – “NGO’s can’t really develop or help develop the country – in Fact they make the country even poorer”

This Clearly shows how there is no functioning International Community or Aid/charity organizations that are Actually Functioning – Still people in the West Justify the Abdication of Self-Responsibility through giving money to these organizations, without fully Investigating what they spend their Money on – Haiti is a small country that is easily accessible – With the Money donated, the entire country could have been re-build and instead they are now dying from cholera for no reason, while aid workers cash in – This should serve as a fucking Reality Check for All those that believe that “someone else” takes Care of it – That the governments and aid organizations know what they are doing and are the one’s Responsible for Assisting these people to rebuild a society that already was one of the world’s poorest and most politically unstable societies.

The root of the problem is the accepted Inequality and indifference of each western citizen towards the rest of the World – which is why Self-Responsibility for the Whole, as this World and ALL PEOPLE is the Solution to Stopping the Suffering and Abuse that is currently being Accepted – So what do we do?

At Desteni we suggest a Re-Education of Ourselves, wherein we Face the Brutal Fact that we have in deed been indifferent, even and when we have believed not to be, when we have believed ourselves to Care. We are doing this through the Desteni I Process, wherein we Support Ourselves and Each other to Start Living according to the Principle of what is Best for All, instead of Surviving within and from Self-Interest as Personality and Preference –

Through this we Start taking ACTive Self-Responsibility for and as this World – We Suggest to Create an Equal Money and Equality Politics System – where we at a Global Scale, Create a System that is Based on the Principle of What is Best For All on a Practicable, Livable Level based on the Simple Fact that Everyone has an Equal Right to Life – a System  based on each of us starting to take Self-Responsibility for and as This World.

Thank you

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://equalmoney.org/

Why it is Impossible to Be A Good Person and Do The Right Thing

13 Thursday Jan 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Okategoriserade

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Adam, Altruism, Altruistic, Being a good person, Belief, Beliefs, Beliver, Capitalism, Charity, Churchgoer, Democracy, Desteni, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, Devil, DIP, doing good, Doing the right thing, Equal and One, Equal Money For All, Equal Money System, Equality, Equality and Oneness, Equality System, Eve, Faith, Follower, Good, good deeds, Good Heart, Good People, Good person, Goodness, Governing, Governments, Inequality, ITD, Loyalty, martyrs, moral, moralist, moralists, morality, NGO, Oneness and Equality, Politics, Prayer, praying, Redemption, religion, Salvation, satan, SRA, Suffering, vegetarianism

Morality – Has it ever occurred to you how difficult it is to be a good person? In fact it seems that even the best people amongst us, cannot be good all the time – how many times have we not heard of priests, ministers, politicians or soccer moms, whom everyone around them, saw as the best people of their community; giving, loyal, honest, selfless and hardworking – who turned out to be sexual predators, tax evaders or drug abusers? Who were leading their perfect life, with perfect marks, perfect children, degrees, gardens and characters and in secret living a shady life of porn, abuse or addiction? I have realized something for myself: It is not possible to be good all the time. It is not possible to be the model citizen, the perfect mom, a good person. Why? Because ‘good’ is a polarity – the polarity of ‘bad’ and as such the balance will always tip from one end to the other. It might take years or months, we might be living both the good and the bad at the same time, exerting the good to the public, shamefully or spitefully keeping the bad hidden – but it is there.

I Realized that it is not possible to be good, without also being bad – and that no matter how good deeds I would do, how much I would try to redeem and clean myself from the bad, it was not possible – because inevitably the balance would tip and I would find myself doing or saying exactly that I had been fighting and trying to keep away. This explains why these seemingly good people, after years of being law abiding citizens, suddenly go on a killing spree or leave their family: because the good requires an equal bad to balance itself – and we, we are caught in the middle constantly having to keep the bad away, doing our duties, while thinking about the teenage daughter next door or just another glass of red wine. So if bad follows good in an infinite balance that seems to be as accurate as a law of physics, can we actually say that there is such a thing as being a good person?

I discovered for myself that being a good person, that doing the right thing, made me feel good and that this was the primary reason for why I tried to be a good person – because it made me feel good, it made me feel better about myself – When the balanced tipped and I then did what I considered bad, I felt bad, or even reversed, felt constrained by the good and liberated by embracing the bad.

This world as we collectively participate in it and portray it, through our movies, news and public life, confirms for ourselves that the world is good, that we are good – that there is something inherently or at least possibly good underneath it all. To this we give our hope, our faith, our donations to churches and charity organizations, to show and prove to ourselves that we are capable of treating each other with dignity and respect. I discovered for myself that I would do anything to feel good, to feel like a good person – I would follow any leader that told me that what they were promoting was in the name of the good – I dreaded the feeling of being a bad person. But no matter what I did, what I sacrificed or desperately wanted to be true, the bad kept luring in the shadows as a monster that I could not rid myself of. I tried everything, from meditation and anti-materialism, to positive affirmations and vegetarianism. I was deeply committed and truly believed that this time, each time, I would succeed. And in these states of ‘purity’ and cleansing myself of the blood of humanity’s humanity, I felt better than those who did not participate; the meat eaters, the shoppers, the unfaithful – I felt that I was finally raised above these savages, above the savage in myself, and I would feel surged with energy and motivation to do the right thing. Not long would pass and I would get bored, my motivation would drop and soon I would find myself in secret stealing bacon from the kitchen or buying a gossip magazine. For a while, I could block these misbehavings out and pretend like it was not me or say to myself that it was only a moment of weakness and that I would re-commit myself even more firmly to my vows. I remember as a child, praying to God for something to occur, to be saved from a situation and promising that if God would hear my prayer and give me what I wanted, I would stop being bad, I would commit myself to his work. There is no doubt that there are many monks and missionaries out there, who are in this exact position, because they have done the same. But if it is impossible to be good, because good and bad exists in a balance, what are we actually doing? And can this explain why the world exists as it does, of haves and have-nots, of people speaking good, while acting bad, of people who after years of faithful service to gods, wife’s, husband’s or governments, suddenly in a surge of energy, turn bad?

The next question is then what happens is we stop trying to be good? Many would say that the world would run amok, that Suffering would increase, that not having moral standards would legitimize people to do what they wanted; to shoot each other or steal from each other, without remorse. But if we look at the world as it exists in its figures and numbers and digits – is this not already what we are doing? Is this not what we have always done? And if the truth behind why we so desperately want to do the right thing, is that it makes us feel better, how can morality be legit? What if we take both good and bad, right and wrong, out of the equation? Then we are left with the World as it is – no reason, no meaning, no purpose – simply they way we have Accepted Ourselves to Exist and the question of if we are going to keep Accepting Ourselves to Exist like this?

Right and wrong, good and bad are implied through there already being a moral standard, already being a source – whether that is Adam and Eve, God and Satan or The Evolution of Human Consciousness and the ability to make rational and altruistic decisions. But if we look at the World as it exists in its digits and numbers of money spent on war, child deaths and financial inequality, it is evident that it cannot simply be explained through the belief in right and wrong or good and bad. Our laws are not protecting us, our faith and beliefs is not making us compassionate or loving towards our neighbors. Our prisons are not rehabilitating its convicts and the news does not show what is really going on. In our public lives on the streets, supermarkets and at our jobs, we are bullying each other, fighting to get ahead in the line, being consumed by road rage or thinking about having sex with every woman we see. Still we pretend like there is order and civility, while underneath, in our Secret Minds, we only Care about Ourselves. Many people will say that this is not so – That they Care. But if we look at the state of the World, and what we, as citizens, parents, corporations and governments are doing about it, the answer is evident.

Therefore we require of ourselves to bring about new Solutions that does not depend on hope or on a seemingly inherent dormant ability to do the right thing or to be a good person – By holding onto this, in ourselves, towards each other and our children, we are Deceiving ourselves. Therefore we require to Face ourselves, Self-Honestly, Directly, Straight Forward, even though we know that we are not gonna like what we See. And then we require of ourselves to reconsider what we are doing and what the Actual Starting-Point is, for our Participation within and as this World – not the Starting-Point that we’d like to believe we are coming from – and in this, we require to Consider the possible Solutions for Sorting our this Mess that we have Accepted and Allowed Ourselves to be and become. In this, there is no pointing fingers, blaming or pushing the Responsibility away – because each of us, even though that might require some Self-Honest Self-Investigation, are Equally a part of the Creation and Acceptance of this World as it Exists.

Then we can Finally Decide to Live according to Principles of Common Sense, wherein We Realize, that What is Best for All, at a mathematical, physical and practical level, is Best for us to. And finally rational decisions can be made, sustainable Solutions can be developed and Politics and legislation can be used to implement these Solutions. This is what we are doing at Desteni and with the Equal Money System – Because we have Realized that morality is not inherent, that good is an equivalent of bad and that the purpose of doing the right thing and being a good person, is about the energetical surge of feeling good and avoiding Facing Ourselves in taking Self-Responsibility for and as this World. Thus we require to literally Change Ourselves, the nature of ourselves that we have taken for granted and to, both within and without re-educate ourselves and Change the Principles upon which we Govern this World and Ourselves in and as it. It is simplistic to Participate – all it requires is for us to Push Ourselves to be Self-Honest, even when we do not like what we See and to, within that, make the Decision to Live differently, to Live according to What is Best for All.

Lets Sort Out this mess that we have become and Live in a way where Life is Actually Valued and where we do not have to Fear each other or what is inside us, because we have taken Self-Responsibility and re-educated Ourselves to Live according to Principles that can Stand the Test of Time and not energy, beliefs or emotions that weaver and fall and in which we are Separated and Distanced from Ourselves and Each other. Join Desteni, The Desteni ‘I’ Process for Personal Re-Education to Self-Responsibility and Accountability and Join the Equal Money Movement to Create an Equality System of Economics and Politics, that will Give Each and Everyone and Chance to Live without fighting to Survive, without trying to do and be good and never Actually Succeeding.

The First Day

29 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Choices, First day at work, Friends, Fundraising, Future, Idiot, Job, Mind, Mother, New job, NGO, Stupid

I had my first work day today, which was quite interesting. I have had some resistances towards this work, which I found to be unfounded. One point was that I was embarrassed of having to take such a low paying job, that my bosses were younger than me – and I realized how utter bullshit this was and I decided to give the job and myself a chance. The other point was the work being a job where I am to fundraise for some of the major charity NGO’s. In a way it seemed silly to do this work, when I could be fundraising for Desteni instead and because I know that even though they for example set up mobile animal hospitals to treat stray dogs, the dogs will still be born and abused because of who we as Humans are. But I did not go into this job expecting that I could make a difference. It was simply the only job of all of those I have applied for, that I got and therefore I took it. I started with 5 other girls, who are all younger than me. I noticed that they in a way was looking up to me and from one perspective it felt uncomfortable and as though it gives me a bigger Responsibility to ‘lead’ and from another perspective uncomfortable, because I actually enjoyed it and found it to be ‘natural’. We started calling out to various people and even though they did not expect us to recruit any members on our first shift, I recruited 2. 2 of the others had recruited before I did and I was wondering if I was being too aggressive in my approach – so I tried different techniques and it worked. I actually found it to be fun work, but also a little exhausting to be so intensely focused on One person in the other end of the telephone. On my way home I was thinking about how I got 2 members, while some of the others did not get any and I felt a little guilty, like I had an unfair advantage from where I am coming from, but at the same time it is cool that I now know that I can ‘sell’. Then I visited my mother and was, as I have lately balancing between allowing her to Direct and resisting it at the same time.  Sometimes I experience that I literally have become her, too such an extend that I cannot see where I begin and she ends. It is mostly a physical experience, where I suddenly in a situation realize that I am moving or acting exactly as her. I still experience some resentment towards her, mainly within the experience that she manipulates me or that there are so many layers to decipher when she says something or asks me something, that I cannot keep my feet on the ground. What happens, not only when I am with my mother, but also in other situations (I’ve especially experienced it when I am alone, with friends or boyfriends/lovers) that I sort of ‘check out’ in order to ‘survive’ the situation and simply act as I am supposed to/expected to. Both with my mother and in other situations it has become more and more difficult to do so. What happens with her as an example, is that she will offer me something like food, money or other things. It has been how our relationship has been playing out for the last couple of years, in a way how we ‘found our ground’ in a tolerable way to spend time together. I accept whatever she gives me and then I experience that she expects either gratitude or a ‘ relation of quality’, where we are supposed to enjoy ourselves a certain way or at a certain standard, as a measurement of her investment (in the meal for example) – and I have not been very grateful. More like a zombie, just managing barely to say thanks. I came home and knew that I was supposed to write on this Self-Forgiveness sheet because that was what I had agreed with myself earlier. And I did not want to at all. Through out the last couple of months, I have given into all resistances and accepted it if there was something that I did not want to do. But I also know that I am only cheating and betraying myself by doing so, and so finally I pushed through the Resistance and sat down to write. It is so odd, because when I AM writing Self-Forgiveness or writing in general, when I give into it, I find it to be so assisting and in spite of my belief that I have lost the ability to write, ‘it’ is still there and I still enjoy writing. Now I just have to de(re) program myself again to actually do it and not take no for an answer and simply accept the resistance I experience towards it.

A lot of the time I feel like such and idiot and I beat myself in the head for having accepted myself to diminish as I have – I am well aware that there is no one else to blame, and that what I have Accepted for myself, shows in absolute clarity how fucked we have become – so it is like no matter what I do, I AM and idiot – but even more so by allowing myself to remain an idiot by calling myself names, abusing myself and then feeling sorry for myself. IT IS STUPID! There is not so much else to say about it.

On Sunday Viktor is going to come to visit me – I am a little nervous about it, because I am unsure if we are even able to communicate. I have not be very good at communicating with anyone as of late, especially not straight forward and Self-Honestly – which obviously just reflects the Self-Accepted ‘state of mind’ that I’ve allowed myself to be in. At the same time, this ‘ordeal’ has brought up a different and more inverted, quiet side of me, which is new to me, where I do not in the same way long for the attention of others. When I do speak, it is not as long or as vivid. However I have also experienced like in Amsterdam and at work, that I automatically go into a certain way of speaking/acting that is much more outward and Directive than how I experience myself when I am alone.  This I find a bit disturbing, because even though it is nice to experience that I am ‘myself’ again and that I have not ‘lost’ my ‘kapow’, I am unsure which/who is Real, as/when it is not a Constant stable way of being.  But not that I look at it, I actually do enjoy this new ( or old) side of myself, that is more calm and quiet. I am actually quite surprised at that, because it seems to have been born out of misery and isolation, but still with the ability of being turned/changed/transformed into a Directive way of Being that is actually Supportive. Well, anyways. I am going to take it slow and I am going to push myself at the same time. It seems that it can be no other way. As the Resonances said: when I fight it and try and pull myself together, I sink even deeper into the hole and if I don’t push myself, one day takes the next and I am not Here.  I wanted to be different, to be someone else, to be better and in result I ended up being exactly that which I judged and deemed myself as, only times ten, instead of actually walking with myself, from where I was, in Self-Honesty and Common Sense. It is the ‘problem’ with Seeing and not Being, because I’ll See how it/I should be, but am have still not Lived it/me into absolute manifestation and thus interpret it through the mind and it/I come out all mushed up and attached with ego and past, instead of it being a Living Expression of and As myself – with no personality.

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