Here am investigating the label of “being a Christian” and “Christianity” as how it has existed and played a significant role in the world. I have not in any way been brought up as a Christian myself. My mother however was brought up in a quite strict Christian home and the reason the family allegedly became Christians was because they were in past generations partaking too much in card-games and drinking and in that risking to lose their farms in gambling. It was then my great grandmother put a stop to all the “sinning” and they all became devoted and serious Christians. My mother then in her generation, stepped out of the church and brought me up strictly atheist. She would always say “there is more between heaven and earth but I want nothing to do with it.” For her the church had been a oppressor lead by her own mother, that forced her to suppress her self-expression and feel ashamed and guilty. So she opted out. I was christened and had a confirmation as part of the traditional protestant ceremonies, but none of it was done in the spirit of faith of any form.
As I started participating with Desteni and started unraveling the patterns and personalities I have become, I could see how the point of Christianity and being a Christian culturally was permeating me pervasively. Whether I would like it or not – I was a Christian. So when I here in this writing investigate myself as a Christian and as Christianity, it is based on this subconscious participation (meaning where I was not aware of it, but still lived it as it was passed onto me culturally and in the family) as well as the Christianity that I have seen playing out within and between human beings on earth – seeing it as myself and investigating how I have allowed myself to become a Christian. So I am walking this point for all, from here as myself. This is thus in no way meant to slander Christians or Christianity, but to expose the true nature and purpose of Christianity and to discover how Christianity can be redefined in way so that it can be lived and applied as what is Best for All. If any reactions come up, I suggest to investigate those for oneself as they provide a clue to the lies that we have told ourselves to not have to face the true nature of who and what we have become. What is cool about walking the point of Christianity from this perspective, is that I in fact have little personal experience with it – although for the points of judgment I do have, I will too forgive myself. But otherwise I will look at Christianity as it exists in general and as such might be able to see points that those who have had a more close relationship with Christianity might not immediately see, exactly as they might see points I do not see and as such we bring back all the “missing pieces” of how we have created and designed ourselves into and as that institution and relationship that is Christianity and the personality accompanying as “being a Christian.” – So this is merely a layer of Christianity. All the layers must be opened up; exposed and purified until all aspects of Christianity and being a Christian stands within the living application of what is best for all Life. I invite all to partake in this Journey of Life to discover the construct and label that is Christianity and being a Christian.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the cross is not a symbol of unity or holy sacrifice, but that it is a symbol of violence, separation and conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place all my faith and hope for humanity in the resurrection of Jesus Christ
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Jesus speaks to me in my mind, instead of seeing, realizing and understand that the only one that exists in my mind is me and that I have created the character of Jesus in separation of and from myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in an afterlife consisting of hell and heaven, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that hell is here on earth and that earth could be a living heaven for all, if I dedicate myself to do all and everything possible to ensure that what is best for all life become the living principle within which I live and to stop all preoccupation with hoping for a better life in the after life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going to hell and to hope that I will go to heaven, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that hell is already here on earth and that the heaven I hope to go to when I die, is not real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the bible as a holy book and to believe that if I follow all the rules and doctrines and words as they are stated in the bible, that I will go to heaven
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place blind faith and trust in the bible and that what is written in the bible is in fact the word of god instead of questioning for myself whether the words of the bible are standing for what is best for all life or not and such decide for myself if I will live those words or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a Christian in the belief that I have chosen Christ and the faith in god and the church on my own volition and in my own free will, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I have been programmed and brain-washed to place all worth, value, faith and trust outside myself, within seeing that that was what my parents did and as such to please them and to ensure my own survival, I submitted myself unconditionally to the belief in god, Christ, the church and the bible without ever asking or questioning this for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I simply within defining myself as a Christian, are saved from the consequences as suffering, abuse and inequality that is manifested here on this earth, by god as a reward for my blind obedience and in that never question how such a god could allow such atrocities to exist in the first place
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Jesus died for my sins and that I am inherently a sinner – yet at the same time believe that I am created in the image and likeness of god and such not allow myself to see the direct contradictions and flaws that are evident in the Christian doctrine
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in and blindly trust in the righteousness of god to punish humanity for sinning, when in fact, sin could not exist without god creating the possibility for sinning in the first place and such that god is the creator of sin and thus responsible for sin and thus punishing humanity as his own creation for what he has created
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the wrath of god and to fear being sent to hell and forever burn in the flames separated forever more from god – instead of seeing, realizing and understand that this physical world as this earth, is already burning in flames and will exist as a hell until I stand up and take self-responsibility, realizing that I am the creator that I have separated myself from, into and as
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and design the concept of “god” and “god” as the ruler of the kingdom of earth, heaven and hell – deliberately so as to justify my own separation from and of myself and so as to justify my own abdication of and from myself as the creator and so to project myself as good and evil onto an after-life that I must create blind faith to believe in, because I cannot go there without dying and such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap and enslave myself to live and exist in a life of anticipation, waiting, hoping and fearing for the after-life, not living here in any way what so ever because I believed that the after-life was the real life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I have a life with comforts, money, resources and earthly pleasures, by making-up the belief that I am blessed by god and such explain to myself in my own mind why it is righteous and acceptable that I have while others do not have, in the belief that I am special, chosen by god, a good Christian and as such that those who do not have what I have must be bad and that it is therefore fair and just that they are suffering
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and a polarity relationship between being good and being bad, believing myself to be inherently a sinner and thereby justify for myself when I commit a “sin” that I could not help myself because I was “born that way” and within that create an experience of guilt and shame that I believe that through punishing myself before god, I have redeemed myself and hope that god will therefore have mercy with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the devil for my “sins” and as such justify why I have allowed myself to “sin” and as such allow myself to continuing “sinning” by making the excuse that I am “weak” and that I cannot take responsibility for myself, because what I do and who I am is the responsibility of “god” or “the devil”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the responsibility for my actions onto two points of polarity as “good” and “evil” outside separate from me, as “the devil” and “god” and within and through that have justified the total and complete abdication of self-responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that god is almighty and good and that if evil exists then it is the fault of the human that has allowed itself to be seduced by “the devil”, instead of seeing that this makes no sense, as god would always hold the primary responsibility for what is created
I forgive myself that I, within creating the concept of god to justify my separation from and of myself, have created the concept of “free will” and a such abdicated all self-responsibility for myself as the creator, by making-up the story that god in his goodness gave humanity free will to test their faith in him
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that “original sin” can only be created by god and as such that only god can be responsible for the creation of “original sin” and within that I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have created both the concept of god and the concept of “original sin” to separate myself from myself there as the creator of what is here
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the concept of “free will” cannot exist together with the concept of the punishment of god as the punishment of god indicates conditioning and consequence while free will stands within the concept of no consequence. As such, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest myself within the definition Christianity as existing in the tension field between “free will” and conditioning, not ever seeing, realizing or understanding how I have trapped myself and deceived myself to be able to live without taking self-responsibility for myself as the creator of and as myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that every story told in Christianity, tells the truth of what really happened and who and why and how we are here on earth, and within that never allow or dare myself to question or to find out for myself whether this is so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that god has created life to test his creation to determine who is worthy of living with him in heaven and to immediately wish and hope and want and desire to be the one that gets to live with god in heaven, never questioning why god would create existence as separate, why god would create the human as not good enough and as having to prove itself worthy to god, instead of simply creating a reality and an existence where all is perfect and there is no separation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself believe and trust in Christianity and in myself as a Christian out of fear, that if I don’t, I will go to hell and burn forever
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that god could see everything I was doing and thinking and feeling and as such fear the punishment, wrath and judgment of god, yet at the same time experience and accept myself completely submitted to god and such accept myself as complete free of responsibility and consequence, within the belief that all is in the hands of god
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that everything something good happens to me – especially when it comes to money – that I am blessed by god and such more than those who do not have money, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I only have money because I am born into a system, where I have been conditioned and programmed to have, while other do not have and that this system is the manifestation and consequence of my own separation of and from myself that I have justified through creating the construct, entity and belief in god as a creator outside separate from me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the construct of god, to deliberately separate myself from myself as the creator
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the construct of polarity as heaven and hell as outside separate from me, specifically in the construct of the afterlife where I have no access and such separated myself from the responsibility and consequence of what I have accepted and allowed my creation to be and become
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, that I, within the definition of myself as “a Christian” am a “good person” without ever questioning or considering what that would practically mean or entail – and how I have been existing in and as a polarity relationship in my mind with that I have judged as “bad” believing that if I practiced and believed enough in Christianity and in Christ and in god I could be or become good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people believing in Christ, Christianity and god are good people and that people not believing in Christ, Christianity and god and the bible are bad people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I question my faith, belief and self-definition as “a Christian” that I will be bad, instead of realizing and seeing that “good” and “bad” are two sides of the same polarity that exists co-dependently and thus cannot exist without one another
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in sin
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a sinner
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believed that I have sinned when I allowed myself to deliberately abuse and cheat
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in sin in and as a moral polarity relationship to sanctity
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a saint
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a saint
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define saints as good and positive and sinners as bad and negative
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity relationship to, towards the words saint and sinner
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as a polarity relationship between the words saint and sinner
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my actions is what determines whether I will be accepted as life or not – and thereby interpret and understand “being accepted as life” as separate from me and as based on a Christian belief of redemption and tiding
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify suffering, abuse and war in the name of god
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize or understand that within the very justification of creating war in the name of god, I have contradicted my belief that god is all-loving and all-mighty
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the suffering and abuse of children in the name of god
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately instill the fear of god in my children, to ensure that they would remain on what I believed to be “the righteous path” which in fact was nothing more than my own fear of god – hiding my own fear of facing myself as creator
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and trust that everything that it says in the bible is true, because my parents told me so, because I trust my parents to speak the truth and to know everything there is to know about the world
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider, that my parents have been brainwashed exactly as I have been brainwashed to without question, accept the bible as the truth, within fearing that were I to question the bible, god, jesus and the church, I would have to question this entire reality and why and how it exists and I would be faced with myself as creator, in the realization that everything and all that is here, is my creation and responsibility and that there is nothing or no one “behind” this world or existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience, define, accept and judge myself as superior within the label of being “a Christian” comparing myself to those that are not labeled or labeling themselves as “Christians” as inferior and less than me, judging them to be “heretics” and me to be “a child of god” and such believe that I have more right to exist, to live
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create churches as places of worship using the money of poor people to create a shrine to worship god, when in fact god does not exist, except for as the manifestation of the justification of my separation of myself as creator
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, hope, trust in the goodness of god and to believe that god will come or that god will send Jesus and that the nightmare and hell that is life on earth as it exists, will as if by divine intervention be uplifted and everyone will live happily ever after
Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed to question or investigate this belief or how I have created it within and as myself or what the consequences are of me waiting for god or Jesus to come and save me and humanity, while I do nothing but pray, go to church and live to survive and be “a good Christian”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only god can forgive me and within accepting that as true, have abdicated all self-responsibility for myself here and thus disabled myself to not be able to change or correct myself, because I within this am submitted and subjected to that which I perceive to be god
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that “wicked ways”, “sinning” or “the devil” cannot exist without god’s direct creation, approval of and acceptance of these as real, because if god was not responsible he would not be almighty and then he would not be god
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, that in order for me to be forgiven by god, I must repent, pay and feel guilty instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this is not the way to take responsibility for what one have accepted and allowed and that any god that would demand this of his children, should not be trusted as we according to the belief, are created in his image and likeness
“Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, that if I simply confess my sins and repent that I will be forgiven by god and within this not realize that I as such have justified the continuation of sinning, that I have allowed myself to continue sinning as long as I repent, confess and feel bad – and such that I have created this application of Christianity to justify acting in ways that are harmful, abusive, deceptive and not best for all
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, hope, have faith in and trust that if I forgive my debtors, my debt will be forgotten – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the practical manifestation of this point in the lives of human beings, is that those who make profit of others, are allowed by all to do so and that everyone is existing in debt because of it and in the peril and fear of not surviving that comes with it, thus enslaved to the debtors whom we believed we must forgive so as to stand favorable with god in the here-after
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as in debt to god for having given me life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, accept and trust that I cannot and am not allowed to forgive myself in submitting myself to the belief that, that would be blasphemy against god, acting as if I am more than god, when in fact only god can forgive – instead of seeing, realizing and understand the flaw and lack of common sense in this belief, that god is the one that has created me as I exist and such it is in fact me who should forgive god for having created a flawed creation if the belief where to be real
Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the reason why I have not given myself the permission to forgive myself, is because I have separated Myself from myself as the creator and that I within self-forgiveness, stand up as the creator of and as myself and as such stop the separation of and as myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that within taking self-responsibility for myself as creator of what is here, I give myself the gift of self-forgiveness, of giving myself back to myself
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to realize that in forgiving myself, as in giving myself back to myself, I am standing up as creator and as such taking self-responsibility for myself as creation and thereby enabling myself to change what is here as hell on earth to heaven on earth, because I have given myself back the authority and direction over creation as the manifestation of myself as creator
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. …”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the flesh of the human body, the animals, nature is inherently “bad”, “dirty”, “filthy”, “evil” and “dangerous” and within that have rejected and suppressed all things related to nature and the physical, in the belief that “the devil” had his grip in the physical and as such I feared that were I took allow myself to embrace the physical, sexually or otherwise, that I would fall out of God’s grace and as such be condemned
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted, rejecting, punishing and separating myself from myself as a physical human female, within the belief that I am responsible for the original sin and the fall of man – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding why the aversion, perversion and taboo regarding nature, the female, the physical and sex has been created and impulsed by the propagators of Christianity, as myself to ensure that I remained enslaved to and as the delusion of myself as separate from myself as life here, equal and one
I forgive myself that I have not ever accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that Christianity in its entirety have been created, with my direct and indirect permission, hand and approval, to deceive myself, as all of humanity, into waiting for something that never comes, into accepting a life of survival, war, abuse and suffering in the belief that if only “turn the other cheek” and prove myself worthy, that god WILL come – instead seeing, realizing and understanding that I have based my hope and my belief, on the fear that I am all there is, that we as human beings are alone here, that we are self-responsible for what is here, that no one is going to come and save us and that we have to sort ourselves out practically, physically, in self-honesty – taking self-responsibility for what is here as our own creation
Re-definition of “Good” and “Bad” as I have participated in and lived these words as an example of a Christian Polarity and how a word can be unraveled and purified to stand for what is best for all.
God and Bad are moral convictions, that as a compass tells me whether I have acted morally correct or morally incorrect. When I have done good, I am good. When I have done bad, I am bad. Thus, good and bad defines me as a moral being. Good and bad is what determines how I will be judged and weighed by “god” and thus determines whether I will go to hell or to heaven.
n adjective (better, best)
1 to be desired or approved of; pleasing. Ø(good for) beneficial to. Øexpressing good wishes on meeting: good morning.
2 having the required qualities; of a high standard. Ø(often good at) skilled at doing or dealing with a specified thing. Øappropriate. Ø(of language) with correct grammar and pronunciation. Østrictly adhering to the principles of a religion or cause: a good Catholic girl.
3 morally right; virtuous. Ø(of a child) obedient; well behaved.
4 enjoyable or satisfying: a good time. Ø(of clothes) smart and formal.
5 thorough: a good look around. Øat least; no less than: a good twenty years.
O.E. god (with a long “o”) “virtuous; desirable; valid; considerable,” probably originally “having the right or desirable quality,” from P.Gmc. *gothaz (cf. O.N. goðr, Du. goed, O.H.G. guot, Ger. gut, Goth. goþs), originally “fit, adequate, belonging together,” from PIE root *ghedh- “to unite, be associated, suitable” (cf. O.C.S. godu “pleasing time,” Rus. godnyi “fit, suitable,” O.E. gædrian “to gather, to take up together”). As an expression of satisfaction, from early 15c.; of children, “well-behaved,” by 1690s.
n adjective (worse, worst)
1 of poor quality or a low standard. Ø(often bad at) not able to do a particular thing well. Øinappropriate.
2 unwelcome or unpleasant. Øsevere or serious. Ø(bad for) harmful to.
3 offending moral standards or accepted conventions.
4 injured, ill, or diseased.
5 (of food) decayed.
6 guilty; ashamed.
c.1200, “inferior in quality;” early 13c., “wicked, evil, vicious,” a mystery word with no apparent relatives in other languages.* Possibly from O.E. derogatory term bæddel and its dim. bædling “effeminate man, hermaphrodite, pederast,” probably related to bædan “to defile.” A rare word before 1400, and evil was more common in this sense until c.1700. Meaning “uncomfortable, sorry” is 1839, Amer.Eng. colloquial.
GOOD – as a sounding of calling for god
GUT – conscience
GOT – having
BAD – sounds like a sheep
BAD – in Danish it means “prayed”
BANNED – outcast/rejected/excluded
Redefinition: Good and Bad.
It is interesting to see that the definitions I have held of ”good” and ”bad” primarily has been the never definitions that specifically pertain to guilt and morality as being well or misbehaved, whereas the original words are more specifically descriptive, such as ”bad”: defile (making something sacred dirty)
So one of the original definitions of good is “unite” and “suitable” whereas bad is specifically defined not in opposition to good but as something entirely different, in “defiling”. So if “good” is a sounding as calling for god and “bad” is the defiling of something sacred, there are the secret mind definitions, of whatever I have through the self-religion I have created and participated in, as “good” and “bad”. As can be seen in the definitions of “bad”, it also pertains to human characteristics, which fits with how I have defined “doing bad” as “being bad” – and thus taken the act of acting badly personally, emotionally and not seen the practical context of the words. I also see a definition immanent in the definitions about where “good” pertains to “godly” and where “bad” pertains to earthly, which can also be seen in how I have defined sex and bodily fluids as “bad.”
My conclusion is that how I have defined “good” and “bad” is based on morality, a morality that I have integrated into and as myself based on Christianity and self-religion according to my personal experiences of “doing bad” and “doing good”. Another interesting definition, is how “bad” in Danish means “Prayed” and how “good” sounds like calling for god, and then at the same time there is the word “banned” in “bad” as well. This indicates a point of separation where I perceive myself as already bad, yet in a position of attempting to become good (stop sinning, be redeemed and forgiven by good). Thus, good is acting in “god’s will” and “bad” is acting against “god’s will” but here “god” is partly the entire moral system that I have integrated into and as me, as well as the mind in itself and fear. Another point that is then seen in how I acted out this pattern is how I believed I could redeem bad behavior by being good. I also did not in that moment take my partner’s experience into consideration – all that existed was my fear of being bad, which actually originated from me exerting anger in judging my partner as having done something bad. So all in all, I was entirely enslaved to my idea and submission to “good” and “bad” in and as a religious relationship with/towards “god” in which there was no common sense consideration of practicality. And through the guilt I have created when having done something bad, I have sent myself into a time loop of emotional experiences and in fact abdicated self-responsibility within placing the point of “god” and “bad” in a relationship to something/someone as a “higher force” outside separate from me, instead of applying the corrective action to the practical point I see in self-honesty in and through and as which I have allowed myself to stand unaligned with what is best for all.
Good is when a point is functioning optimally and does not require immediate alignment as it stands for/within what is best for all
Bad is when a point is not functioning optimally and thus requires immediate alignment to what is best for all
When and as I see that I have accepted/defined/judged/experienced myself as “good” or “bad” within and as a positive/negative polarity relationship in separation of and from myself in a relationship with a “god point” as morality and fear in and as my mind – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to consider the practicality of the situation/point I am standing before in seeing how I can effectively correct/change/align myself in and as my application to what is best for all.
I do not accept any form of morality or moral considerations that is not based on what is best for all.
Good and bad as polarity does not define me. When I have acted unaligned with what is best for all, I stand self-responsible for/as/within correcting and aligning myself to what is best for all.
I commit myself to investigate all aspects of Christianity and the belief in god and Jesus and to get to know exactly how I have created myself as Christianity and as the definition of myself as “a Christian”
I commit myself to take self-responsibility for the creation of and as myself as Christianity
I commit myself to in all ways see, realize, understand and live the practical correction within the realization that we as human beings are alone here, that we are self-responsible for what is here, that no one is going to come and save us and that we have to sort ourselves out practically, physically, in self-honesty – taking self-responsibility for what is here as our own creation
I commit myself to walk a process of living the words of Jesus Christ of “loving thy neighbor as thyself” and of “treating another as you would want to be treated” until all my actions, all my participation is aligned to these principles – the only principles of Christianity that is valid, because they stand aligned with what is best for all