The Desteni Group and the Journey to Integrity: DAY 226

Tags

Bernard Poolman, Desteni Cult, Desteni Scam, Destini, Developing integrity, integrity, Rick Ross Desteni, self-integrity, Sunette Spies, The Desteni Group

This is my fourth Witness blog in the series about the Desteni Group in which I specifically testify to the significance, validity and credibility of the Desteni Group and my participation within it. In this particular post we are going to discuss the Desteni Group and its understanding of Integrity.

For context I suggest reading the previous posts in this series as well as the witness blogs written by other Destonians which you can find here:

• Is Desteni the Most Dangerous Group on Earth? DAY 223
• The Desteni Group – is it a Cult? Facts and Fiction: DAY 222
• The Words of the Desteni Group Dissected: DAY 221

Now – let’s have a look at integrity:

“Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one’s actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy,^[1] in that integrity regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs.

The word “integrity” stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete).^[2] In this context, integrity is the inner sense of “wholeness” deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others “have integrity” to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold.

A value system‘s abstraction depth and range of applicable interaction may also function as significant factors in identifying integrity due to their congruence or lack of congruence with observation. A value system may evolve over time^[3] while retaining integrity if those who espouse the values account for and resolve inconsistencies.^{[4]” From – Wikipedia}

To provide an expanded and distinctly Destonian perspective on integrity I’d like to share my personal experience with integrity throughout my life. You could say that integrity has been virtually non-existent in my life. To read more about my journey to integrity I recommend reading this blog-post. Within the principle of the ‘sins of the fathers’ I have learned from home to not have integrity just as much as I haven’t learned integrity anywhere in my reality. I have lived a life of deliberately breaking boundaries and compromising myself to the utmost extent where I completely obliterated any seed of integrity there could have been possible for me to develop out of my own self-will. I was presented with a world made up of deceit, manipulation and lies, relationships full of conditions and betrayals and a drive and motivation for ‘living’ only moved by the desire for energetic experiences such as with drugs and sex. Now obviously it is not ‘the world’s fault’ or ‘my mother’s fault’ that I accepted and allowed myself to become a being without integrity. However at the same time I have rarely in my life been assisted by adults to actually develop or even understand integrity. All my knowledge of integrity has come from watching movies and reading books where characters somehow had that ‘integrity thing’, that thing that enables a person to make decisions based on commonsensically and self-honestly looking at what is best for themselves and everyone else. Integrity is the ingredient required when a child is exposed to peer pressure or when a child is exposed to bullying – whether as a victim or as a bully themselves. It is the ingredient required for a girl to be able to say no to having sex or performing sexually in a way that she is not comfortable with just because a boy said he loved her. It is the ingredient required for us to be able to make a decision to give, as we would like to receive and stop existing only for our own mental desires and self-interest. Integrity is a key ingredient in changing the world to a place that is best for all, because without it we have no principles to stand on, no firm grasp of reality and no clear decision from which we live, breath by breath.

Nowhere in my world as a child did anyone talk about integrity or how to develop it. On the contrary; all I saw was adults who couldn’t wait to get off work or get away from their kids so that they could get drunk, go shopping, gossip, fight with each other or have sex. Everywhere I looked there were neon signs and billboards and commercials literally screaming to my face: “just do it!” “do what makes YOU happy.” “Follow your desires” “Your wildest dreams come true” “use your imagination” “a white lie is not a real lie” “use sex to get what you want form a man”. “Make your man happy, dress sexy!”

Our society is one void of integrity of any sorts and the only thing that comes even close to resembling integrity is so-called ‘morality’. But morality as it exists in this world is not an actual sense of moral responsibility, empathy or integrity. Children learn to apologize but not to understand consequence. We learn to feel guilty, to judge ourselves and to suppress and hide our amorality. We use morality as a cover-up and a cop-out of any form of accountability. As long as you feel bad about what you did “It’s ok…”

I have compromised all parts of my life, from education, to relationships and my physical body, all because I hadn’t developed integrity within and as myself. I was literally incapable of making decisions that was best for myself and others in fact because all I knew was to do what made me feel good and then I could feel bad about it later and then feel good about myself again.

It wasn’t until Desteni that I realized how I had lived my entire life without any form of integrity. Within this, the Importance of being in a group cannot be stressed enough, because as individuals as we currently exist and are born into this world, we don’t stand a chance against the flickering neon lights of capitalism that mesmerizes us with its promises of ‘eternal happiness’, ‘fame’ and ‘fortune’. It is no wonder that the word ‘matrix’ means ‘womb’ because we are literally cocooned into a protective bubble of lovely delusions that at all times ensures that our senses are kept numb by the constant bombardment of entertainment.

“By direct observation and participation, I know and hereby stand as witness to the indisputable fact that great personal sacrifice is the measure of the day of those involved with and as Desteni.  The commitment to the principles and the tireless, unending work and application to such is self-evident if one simply looks without the jaded distortion so common of those who bear false witness.  Of those it can easily be said that they live by the principle “Don’t confuse me with the facts I’ve made up my mind.”  They have made no contribution to the real principle of doing what is best for all, they can only throw stones from behind their cowardly electronic enclosures and like the true cowards they are, run and take refuge in the vacuous gaggling of their own kind, who cannot do and therefore can only criticize. “ – Ken Cousens

In the Desteni Group we assist and support one another to break through the veil and climb out of the matrix-like system we’re currently enveloped in like the baby chicken taking it’s first slimy steps out of the hatched egg, wobbly and unsteady yet Here, limbs intact but with a mind contaminated with years of sticky-sweet propaganda all designed to undermine and rescind any shred of integrity we could have possibly developed during the course of our lives.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I haven’t ever met actual real integrity anywhere else in the world, except for in the Desteni Group. Let me therefore share in greater detail how integrity is one of the single most important principles that substantiates the Desteni group and its relevance in the future of humanity:

Integrity within the Desteni group means that each individual understands that they are responsible for what they accept and allow within them as thoughts, words, experiences or reactions. This is a fundamental point, though it doesn’t in itself ensure that the being actually change their way of living – only a continuous development of actual integrity where each step we take is specific and self-directed within a consideration of what is best for all. Now imagine how many years we have taken each step without integrity, tumbling and fumbling around in reality without any awareness or consideration for the consequences we create through our living. Obviously it takes a process for each individual to restore himself or herself to a consistent and trustworthy integrity. Integrity is thus the continuous development of self-honesty within each of us within the realization that we all together are equally responsible for the world we are creating and that each of us are self-responsible within that to correct who we are and thus how we live from self-interest to what is best for all.

An example are the agreements made between people in the Desteni group, whether these are work relationships or living partnerships where all parties come together deciding the principles upon which the agreement stands and the Living Words that each individual commit to live through expanding their self-agreement to a mutual agreement between partners. What this means is that when we are for example living and working together here on the Desteni farm, we do so based on an agreement that we will each live and honor what is best for all. Now, as I said, this is a process – and we understand this, so it is not like you from one minute to the next just by deciding to live what is best for all suddenly become this benevolent being that in absolute certainly do no harm or mistakes. It is the therefore the responsibility of each one to correct any and all ways of living that are not best for all and equally develop practical solutions that in fact are best for all to be implemented. This goes for all aspects of living from our internal processes to how we do dishes, how we care for animals, how we communicate and what food we eat. Some points are not practically possible to change at this stage given the consequential outflow already manifested in the world. Other points have been charged with much energy through a being’s life and thus requires a process to be walked for example through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. The proof that we are actually doing what we are saying can be seen within the innumerable amount of blogs written by Destonians all over the world, many walking the process by themselves in their current life with the support and cross-reference of the group online. You can follow the blogs here. The basic foundation stands as the agreement to live what is best for all until it becomes a consistent and absolute reality wherein we stand absolutely stable and unwavering, each of us alone and together. That is integrity.

To live together with others in this way, whether in an agreement between two people or in a larger group creates a living environment of integrity. And it is within such an environment that life can thrive. An example of this can be seen within how when the farm was first purchased some years ago, there was virtually no animal life, no birds, few insects and butterflies. But once the people living on the farm started supporting the environment, the wild animals started coming and have continued to come ever since. This was done for example through observing the behavior of birds, through researching the habitat of birds and then accordingly placing food for them to eat. This was done within the development of self-integrity from caring about self to expanding this care to include all life around us. The care I am talking about here is not a feel-good-feeling where support of animals is done because it makes a person feel better about themselves. No, it is a physical practical care applied consistently based on feedback and cross-reference of whether or not the solution found in fact is best for all or not. You could say that the Desteni farm is an experiment of integrity – of seeing what is possible when beings come together and live in integrity. The result is a living environment where each being takes it upon themselves to stand responsible for the well being of the whole, each dedicating themselves through their particular skills to take responsibility for a certain part of living together where everyone else can trust that person to actually do it to the fullest of their potential or to otherwise ask for support if they see that they are not practically capable of doing so. That is integrity. And that is what we are developing within the Desteni group – each walking by themselves and all of us walking together in equal support. It is going to take time, because there is much to correct on this earth and within ourselves to develop a world substantiated by integrity as what is best for all. I am on a Journey to understanding what Integrity means and what it means to live a life of integrity and this has only been possible because of the examples and support given unconditionally by the Desteni Group. There is no other group on Earth who has made it their goal to create a world that is best for all within an understanding that it is the responsibility of each of us to make that happen through a process of practical self-change within self-honesty. That is the journey to integrity – that is the journey to life.

“Now for those Adults that can Hear me, there is Support through the DIP Lite that will take you Progressively to a Restoration of your Natural Learning Ability as One of the outcomes. It is an Extensive Process to Restore the Breakdown that has taken place and it will take a Minimum of 7 Years just to Restore a Level of Integrity that is Sufficient so that When one Restores the Balance of your Being, the outcome of that can be truly Magnificent, Trustworthy and with Integrity, one that is Truly the Living Word, the Living Water and that can Walk the Principles Jesus already Indicated as a Solution for Earth, which is ‘Give as You would Like to Receive’ and ‘Do onto Another as You would Like to be Done onto’. Obviously within this, we have a Massive Task to Investigate All Things First to see All the Vocabulary that has become Biased and Contaminated by the Desire to Win, which is in short now Spiritualized as Energy and ‘Love and Light.’ “– Bernard Poolman

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Suggested documentaries to watch to assist with the de-zombification of the self:

Propaganda:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKnS-Adc_2E

Third World America – Chris Hedges

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drZE65_134g

John taylor gatto the ultimate history lesson:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQiW_l848t8&list=PL463AA90FD04EC7A2

The Power Principle http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

The Trap
http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

Psywar
http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century
http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

The Century of the Self: Part 1- Happiness Machines
http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

On Advertisement and the end of the world:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8gM0Q58iP0

Questions and Perspectives: What is a Living Word?

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• *Relationship Success Support – Introduction
• *What is Sex? Overview
• * LifeReview – My Life as a Peace Activist
• * The Spirituality of the Snail
• * Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2
• * How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message
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• Day 45: I Testify – Here is My Witness-Statement
• Day 458: Facts and Feelings: How to Stop and Prevent Brainwashing
• Day 190: Is Desteni a scam? Part 4
• Fall in Line – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 421
• Is Desteni the Most Dangerous Group on Earth?
• Is Desteni the Most Dangerous Group on Earth? DAY 223
• The Desteni Group – is it a Cult? Facts and Fiction.

 

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The Desteni Group – is it a Cult? Facts and Fiction: DAY 222

Tags

Basic Income Guaranteed, Bernard Poolman, Brainwashing, Cult Watch, Desteni Cult, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, Destini, EQAFE, MLM cult, South African Cult

Does the Desteni group force its members to shave their heads, cut all ties with their family and friends and give all their money to Bernard Poolman? Are the members of Desteni vulnerable teenagers who are easily persuaded by the promise of money and a life without feelings and emotions? Does being part of the Desteni group and living on the Desteni farm include sexual orgies and arranged marriages?

Several websites, blogs and Youtube videos claim that the above statements are true such as within the following example from the website cultwatch:

”Desteni is a centralized regime run as a dictatorship which advocates strictly regimented economic, industrial and social controls. It suppresses free speech and forcibly attempts to censor criticism and opposition. Its extensive use of propaganda utilizes democratic procedures for an antidemocratic cause. ‘Destonians’ condemn non-Destonians as less than inferior beings. “

Now – I am here at the Desteni farm and I am going to give you an exclusive inside perspective into the Desteni group and I will expose whether or not the above mentioned ‘facts’ are true or not. Because if you research Desteni on Google you will most likely come across ‘articles’ and blog posts and videos similar to the above mentioned examples. So I am here to shed some light on what actually goes on within the Desteni group and on the Desteni farm that is seldomly mentioned on any of these sites.

Let’s begin with examining the quote above.

Desteni is not a centralized regime run as a dictatorship. If it were I wouldn’t be here writing this blog-post at my own volition – which I obviously can’t prove that I am. So you have to decide – whether you will take the word of people who have never actually investigated Desteni or whether you will be willing to hear what I have to say with the ‘risk’ that I might be writing this with a gun pointed to my head. That’s up to you.

I can inform you that when the quote above refers to suppression of ‘freedom of speech’ this ‘impression’ directly stems from the fact that we at Desteni have decided not to engage in arguments with haters and people only out to slander the group. I therefore for example have ‘comment approval’ set on all my Youtube videos which means that I have control over who gets to comment on my videos and which comments I will accept or not. Now – the reason why I have to decided to do this is not so that I can filter the comments and only keep those that are ‘positive’ towards Desteni. I have done so because I was receiving a massive amount of comments from people who were either directly abusive or who were deliberately playing mind-games with no other purpose than to argue for the sake of arguing. The directly abusive comments include death threats and explicit verbally sexual abuse in the most obscene manner you can imagine. From my perspective my Youtube channel is like my virtual ‘house’ or ‘home’. As such I decide that I won’t accept or allow abuse on my channel, because I wouldn’t accept or allow it from myself – so why should I accept or allow it from anyone else? I mean, would you allow people to walse into your home and give you death-threats or make sexually nasty remarks or even to come into your home and start an argument with you just for the sake of arguing? NO! So obviously I don’t allow it in my Youtube channel either. And apparently this is limiting the freedom of speech of others – which I might add – often are the people who spew abusive comments. So there you have it – they want their ‘freedom’ to abuse and for others to listen to or participate in their bullshit and then they get affronted when we at Desteni shut the door in their virtual faces and say: No more, Enough!

Let’s have a look at another section of the quote: “‘Destonians’ condemn non-Destonians as less than inferior beings. “ Now this is obviously absurd and goes to show the length of slandering that the people writing these blog-posts will go to. In fact at Desteni we go to great lengths – or let me rephrase that: we go to an absolute length to place ourselves in the shoes of others equal and one – and within this obviously Destonians are exactly the same as everyone else. We are all equally people contaminated by a delusional inflated mind-reality completely enveloped in self-interest and that is what we work on, each in our own process, to take self-responsibility and stop projecting our own shit onto others. So if we for a moment play with the possibility of this quote above being written in sincerity and not as a deliberate point of slander, what it actually says is that Destonians won’t simply accept bullshit from other people. What this means is that the person has taken something that was being said personally and have perceived this as being a display of arrogance or superiority. We’re so used to giving each other space to abuse that when someone comes along and says: “wait a minute, this is unacceptable!” – it is immediately frowned upon as being arrogant.

Another quote within this blog-post shows exactly how malignant and misinformed these people are within their starting-point of writing these blogs:

“The ideas Destonians have acquired from Poolman and Spies are such that, for example, they regard friendship as ‘evil’, the family as the foundation of prostitution and cause of pornography, they say people who have sexual fantasies cause others to become rapists, humanity is possessed by ‘mind demons’ and that the only hope for the future of humankind is through ‘self-forgiveness’ in Desteni.”

Okay – so let me make one thing absolutely crystal clear. Desteni does not regard friendships as evil. Desteni does not tell people that they can’t have friends or that they should cut ties with their families. On the contrary. What I have witnessed through the five years I have walked with Desteni is the establishment of health, effective relationships with families and friends. I can use my own example: before walking with Desteni, I had a conflicted relationship towards my family and especially my sister. I had basically cut all ties with her and I was prepared to never again have anything to do with her. Through walking with Desteni within the process of developing self-honesty and self-responsibility through writing, I started to write about my sister and my conflicted relationship with her. I wrote a 200 page long mind-construct which is a specific technique of writing developed by the Desteni I Process team based on people’s experiences with various methods of utilizing writing to develop oneself and through that I discovered that all the conflicting experiences I had towards my sister was actually something that I had created myself in my own mind – literally through one memory from when I was a child. After I had written out all the points, I went to see my sister. Because I wanted to test for myself whether or not writing out this mind-construct would actually change anything in my relationship to her. And I was astounded to see that everything had changed. When I talked to her I didn’t have any of the reactions I would normally have. I was able to simply be there and enjoy myself and communicate with her as two human beings without any personal history influencing how I saw her or how I experienced myself. And something interesting happened. My sister went from being apprehensive and cautious towards me – which she has been for years – to actually enjoying being with me and laughing together. I had virtually given up creating any form of relationship with my sister; I had pushed her away and simply pushed my experiences towards her in the background. I had suppressed them within me, but they didn’t go away. Why? Because I hadn’t taken responsibility for myself within it and how I was the creator of the experiences I had towards my sister. I know for a fact that there are many Destonians with similar experiences. Parents have seen their children change from depressed youngsters with drugs or alcohol problems to responsible young men and women who are serious about taking an education or getting a job. Husbands and wives have seen partners change and become more patient, more understanding and less resentful and blaming. Friends have seen each other change into people of integrity and dignity – people you can talk to and have an honest and authentic conversation with.

And for your information in case you were wondering: I shaved my head because I wanted to, not because someone told me to. And I kept it shaved for two years because I wanted to. Others didn’t shave at all and others again kept it shaved. It astounds me how much value people who are intent on defaming can place on something so insignificant as the hair on your head.

This quote above and the entire ‘article’ goes out of its way to make Desteni sound ‘dirty’ and ‘crazy’ and no where does it say whether this person has actually read any of our blogs or watched our videos. If you have seen the movie with Eminem, the “8.Mile” you’ll probably remember the scene, the last battle where Eminem precedes what the other rapper Papa Doc, in the battle is going to say about him. So he says everything ‘bad’ about himself and it leaves the other rapper speechless because he doesn’t have any ‘fuel’ left to hit him with.

In a way you could say that that’s what we’ve done at Desteni. This is also why I can say for a fact that there’s nothing these haters can say that has any substantial value. Because there’s nothing to come after. And so what they’ll do is that they will take what we are saying and deliberately spin it in such a way that it sounds ‘dirty’ or ‘conspicuous’ like in the quote above where they quote Desteni for saying that people are possessed by mind-demons. Seriously, what else do you call it when a mother in China recently suddenly in a fit of rage stabbed her baby boy multiple times in the face because he bit on to her breast while feeding? What else do you call it when parents kill their children or when men burry their partners alive in jealousy? Isn’t it appropriate to say that people are possessed by mental demonic ‘entities’?

I am not going to go through the rest of the blog-post here. Because it is basically just more of the same. You should get the point by now. If you do however look at the words, the way it is written – there is absolutely nothing sincere about them. There is instead a distinct undertone of sensationalism and gossip that completely undermines any attempt at discrediting the Desteni group or what we are about. If you look at my words or the words of other Destonians what do you see?

I stand as a living example of the effectiveness of the Desteni group. Through walking with Desteni I have become so much more than I could have ever imagined in my life. And here I am not talking about abstract, delusional or ‘brainwashed’ apparent qualities that Desteni has coaxed me into believing in. No, I am talking about real life skills and qualities. Through walking with Desteni I have stopped smoking weed after many years of addiction. I have stopped participating in self-abuse and wasting my life through partying and hooking up with random people. I am in a committed relationship with a partner where we live and work together now on the third year. I have finished a master’s degree with the highest grades and I am working in a stable job in a different country. When I come home from work, I start my Desteni ‘work-day’ which lasts throughout the night. In this space of time I write my blogs such as the one you are reading right now. I do my assignments within the Desteni I Process and Agreement Course – not because anyone has told me to but because I know that I owe it to myself and to everyone else to sort my mind out and become a dignified and self-responsible human being that lives in self-integrity and who can be trusted with others to act in a way that is best for all. I support others on the Desteni forum through sharing with them the insights and realizations I have gained throughout the years. I read books and watch documentaries about the state the world is in. And there is so much more I am not yet doing or that I am still not satisfied with – and these are the points that I push. I furthermore allocate a specific amount of money each month to Desteni, some to purchase the interviews that are available on Eqafe and some to pay for the two courses I am currently walking. I do this out of support of the group and myself. No one has asked me to do it. No one is forcing me to do it. And I am still able to live comfortably and buy the things I want and need in my daily life. And I don’t receive any money from Desteni at all. All earnings I make from being a Desteni I Process agent goes back to the group as well as my earnings from Eqafe that I receive through being an affiliate. This is a decision I have made for myself and not anything anyone has told me to do. I am doing it because I am in the fortunate position of being able to do it and because I want to support the group as much as possible. So as you can see, there’s nothing to come after for the haters. I live a legit life. I pay my taxes. I talk to my family. I go out from time to time with my co-workers. And I do all of that while I participate with Desteni and while I walk my own process. I haven’t lost anything of significance since I started walking with Desteni. I have only gained so much more than I could have ever imagined. I dare you to walk a day in my shoes before you make claims about Desteni or what we are about. It might change your life if you’d let it.

I invite you to watch the following video to gain some insights into what a ‘normal’ day looks like at the Desteni farm:

 

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

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• The Words of the Desteni Group Dissected
• Day 426 My Witness Testimony to Desteni
• Desteni Witness – Day 445
• Brainwashed to Love – (Relationship Paranoia pt. 5) – DAY 214
• 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report
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• She’s A Man Eater: DAY 210

 

The Words of the Desteni Group Dissected: DAY 221

Tags

Bernard Poolman, Desteni Cult, Desteni Scam, Destini, Destini Cult, Haters, Living Words, Oneness and Equality, Rick Ross, South African Cult, The Desteni Group, Trolls

My name is Anna Brix Thomsen. I am a 31-year-old female from Copenhagen, Denmark. I now live in Sweden where I work as a teacher. I have been walking with Desteni for five years, since the end of 2008.  Through these five years I have changed nearly everything about myself – and yet as I walk my process day by day I realize more and more how much about myself I still require changing. It is a process of humility – a process of becoming humble. Because before I found Desteni, I was a complete wannabe-spiritual-lightworker who believed in love and light and ascension and I was constantly trying to find a short cut to enlightenment, whether through drugs, relationships or various forms of spirituality. What I am realizing as I am walking my daily process with Desteni is that the only way to change oneself is through a process of getting to know oneself to understand how one has created oneself into and as an array of personalities and characters – and then literally change oneself practically and physically, point by point, moment by moment. I have realized that there are no quick fixes, for me or for the world. The same way we have created the world as it currently exist – as a total mess, a literal hell-hole, through eons of accumulation, it is the same way we have to deconstruct and recreate it – through a practical process of change that literally means turning every brick and stone and together deciding whether this is what is best for all or not.

When I joined Desteni my English proficiency was just above a high school level, quite possibly even below.  Now, five years later I have written my master’s thesis in educational sociology at a Danish University in English for which I received an A. I primarily write my blogs in English, I primarily read English books and in the process of walking with Desteni I have even moved to another country in which I am learning the native language; Swedish.

The words we use in the Desteni group are specific. And I have taught myself and I have been supported by those who walk with me and who have walked before me to expand my vocabulary exponentially. I have done so through writing and making videos where I have taken the words spoken or written and looked at them for myself – investigating my own relationship to these words and accordingly aligning myself to them in a way I could understand and comprehend clearly. Because when we speak or write words that we don’t actually understand, there is a disconnect going on within us, we become followers and it often leads to resentment, apathy and a feeling of being trapped. Therefore I walk a process of making sure that the words I write and speak are actual words that I can confirm for myself as being real and true – and I cross-reference them with others and check if they see the same as what I am seeing.

Many haters say that we at Desteni speak ‘Desteni lingo’ or that we are brainwashed because we use the same words, phrases and sentences. And of course if you are one of these haters – there’s little I can do or say to convince you otherwise and I am not going to. Because that would be the same as saying that your paranoia is real and valid and that I am going to play that ‘game’ with you. And I’m not. And to be clear, the reason why I call the people who claim that Desteni is a cult, haters, is because that is what they are. If you look at the language these people use, the tricks they use to disdain Desteni, it is obvious hate and deliberate slander. None of them have actually investigated us or what we are about in fact. They thrive and feed off of sensationalism and scandal just like the masses that they are a part of do. And understand that this is not to say that we at Desteni aren’t a part of the masses in this world. Of course we are, equally as one with everyone else. The difference is that we are seeing the deception and abuse within it for ourselves and are walking a process of stepping out of the brainwashing and paranoia that is the trademark of the masses to actually become self-directed individuals who are able to make the decision to create a world that is best for all.

So if you are one of these people who fears, loathes or hates Desteni and if you have actually gotten as far as this sentence in this blog-post, then I congratulate you for challenging your own preprogramming and daring to see beyond your preconceived paranoia. And I suggest that you now take a look at the thoughts and words that are being used to slander Desteni. Because within and behind them you will see the energy I am talking about: the nasty, spiteful words that in no way are written or spoken with the purpose of making the world a better place or supporting people in any way. It feels good in a sticky-sweet way like watching porn and ejaculating to someone being humiliated on your TV-screen. It’s the same form of satisfaction. And it is obviously laced with tremendous fear.

So when we at Desteni speak the same words it is because each of us has come to an independent understanding of the significance of the particular words used. The words we use are specific because they are the words we have seen for ourselves as relevant for the creation of a world that is best for all.

There is no ‘cult-leader’ or ‘inner circle’ that dictates what the group say or do. Unfortunately someone sometimes has to point things out, but that is actually not something I or we’d prefer – because that means that each person isn’t self-directed or self-willed but still exist within and as a frame of mind where they want someone else to tell them what to do. I work with this at a daily basis to push myself beyond my preconceived limitations to actually become a self-leading individual who through my example can assist and support others. The pinnacle of success of the Desteni group would be that the Desteni group isn’t needed or required to exist at all because all people of earth would stand up, alone and for themselves as well as together in the decision to change the world into a place that is best for all. Take for instance this phrase: ‘best for all’. This is not something we walk around saying just because someone else told us to.

‘Best for all’ is a phrase I was introduced to by Bernard Poolman (Desteni’s socalled ‘cult leader’) a couple of years ago within group chats and blogs as well as in conversations. At first I had trouble understanding what it meant. We talked about it and I wrote about it and I started investigating for myself what it actually means. I experienced a lot of resistance towards it. I feared that something would be taken away from me, that I wouldn’t be an individual anymore. So I directed myself to investigate and understand the phrase within and as myself, using my own words to write out and speak out my understanding of what ‘best for all’ means.

To give a practical perspective: in many blogs and comments where people ask about ‘best for all’ and what it means, I have used the example of clean drinking water. Common sense would be that a world that is best for all is a world where all water on earth is cared for, restored and purified so that each human being, animal and the earth itself has access to clean water. Why is this best for all? As we live in our western societies we often don’t notice how interconnected our lives are with the lives of everyone else. But imagine for a moment a village where the water supply has been destroyed by multi-national corporations who came and coaxed the people into appropriating their water supply with the promise of bringing money to build infrastructure and schools and thereby a new and bright future for the people in an otherwise poor region. These multi-national corporations are owned by westerners and for example produce palm oil that they extract through their activity in Africa or Asia. Their products make sure that you and me have access to cheap ice cream or body lotion or baby milk

But because of the exploitation and abuse of the natural resources to minimize costs and maximize profits in the west, the people of the countries in which the resources grow or are developed often have no choice but to either drink contaminated drinking water, get sick and die – or leave their home and seek for a new and better place to live. These people are often forced to migrate to other cities or countries where they often have no choice but to turn to crime to survive because they would be considered ‘illegal’ and not have any citizen rights. The consequence of this entire process of abuse of water resources could be the guy that steals your car or break into your house to find something to sell to provide food for his children. Or it could be a virus is mutated in the contaminated water that a person without knowing it carries with them to another country and by coincidence you come in contact with them and become infected and sick. Or it could be the level of toxicity and heavy metals in the oceans that fish then are forced to live in and eat, that ends up at your dinner table where your child eats the fish and develop an allergy or a changed hormone level that affects their growth and development.

This entire example ought to make it crystal clear that when we take care of our waters, our oceans, our rivers and ground water in a way that is best for all, it will be best for each individual as well. Because when we live in a way that is not best for all, life will be in one shape or form sooner or later: worst for all.

So as I have shown here, that which is ‘best for all’ at a real, physical and mathematically equitable level should be the primary principle within which we direct our lives here on earth. It is the basic foundation of an eco-system where all parts interact and are interconnected in an innate understanding that each part cannot live or thrive if the whole isn’t supported. Another example is the human body that is also a form of eco-system where each part functions to support the whole through their individual function or purpose. The heart for example cannot survive without the liver or kidneys. It is basic common sense and not some abstract philosophy or spiritual mumbo-jumbo. It is a real directive and living principle.

So as you can see, when we talk about ‘best for all’ it is not some fluffy jargon that we’re at Desteni simply spewing to sound eloquent or wise or trick people into giving us money just for the hell of it. It is a commonsensical and practical principle in an absolute sense. And we can see the consequences of us not living what is best for all at a daily basis exactly as I’ve shown.

So when haters taunt the Desteni group for using this expression, it is clear that they are in fact arguing for a world that IS NOT best for all. They haven’t even investigated what we are saying for themselves and looked at whether it makes sense or not. They have dismissed it because they are so caught in paranoia and fear and thirst for exciting energetic experiences through fantasizing about Desteni being an evil cult/pyramid scheme that they can’t even see how they are actually fighting against what is best for themselves. And if you have a look at what haters usually do: they argue for the continuation of the current system, they claim that the world we’re living in now is ‘okay’ and ‘fine’ and ‘normal’ and that Desteni is outrageous and crazy for suggesting that another way of living together on earth is possible.

All I can say is that every time I see a hater spew their words of taunt and spite, I see myself. I see the parts of myself that are so trenched in fear that I will fight tooth and nail to keep living in a bubble of delusion. I have done exactly the same as they do, to myself in my mind and to other people if they came close to exposing the truth of me. I understand now why I react to it the way I do. And I understand why haters hate. They do so because they are scared of facing themselves. They are scared of giving up the comforts of their delusions. I know this because I was exactly the same. So please understand: that this is not an ‘us’ vs. ‘them’ situation. It’s not a war or a fight. It is all ourselves. And I am here as the voice of reason that I have established within myself – where I, whenever I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into spite, jealousy or fear, stop myself and bring myself back to common sense. I work with this at a daily basis within myself. And so the time has come where I speak these words to the haters in the world that are a part of myself as the whole that is here: that I will no longer accept or allow myself to exist in spite or vengeance, that I walk a daily process of stopping participating in energetic gratification over watching sensationalist and scandal stories in the news. Every day I am committing myself to change myself from a person existing in total paranoia, delusion and self-interest to a being that is self-responsible and who in fact live in a way that is best for all.

Because what is best for all is common sense – exactly as I have shown in the examples above and NOT living what is best for all is unacceptable. Because as we can see every day as this world takes another turn for the worse, it will be our own demise if we don’t stand up, stop and change. There is simply no room for haters in this world, just like there is no room for hate in our minds if we are to change ourselves to become beings of dignity and common sense. And if these people had any thing of value to share, they wouldn’t have to use hate or taunting to do so. They would speak directly, concisely and clearly exactly as I am doing now. They wouldn’t have to invent nasty lies and slander to prove their point because they would be able to prove that what they are saying is true beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I have exposed myself publically on the Internet for five years. Basically everything I have done, felt, the mistakes I have made, the changes I have applied in my life are publically available for anyone to read or listen to. I have shown you my apartment; my cats, my thoughts, my feelings, my academic achievements and my addictions.

So if you want to come at me or come at Desteni – at least do your research. Prove that what we are saying is wrong – or fuck off. Because if you can’t prove that what we are saying is wrong, it simply shows that all you are out to do is to hate for the sake of hating. And none of us have time for that – not even you. The world is in such a state of distress as we have said and shown in the Desteni group for years, so what matters is that each of us get our heads out of our asses – so that we can stand up to make an actual impact in this world. If you are not interested in creating a world that is best for all, then don’t. We will continue – I will continue nonetheless. And there is no other agenda, no other purpose that is more important than that.

Join us or don’t – it’s your choice.

Artwork by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Questions and Perspectives: What is a Living Word?

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

 

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Confessions of a Child: Internalizing External Conflict: DAY 166

Tags

Bernard Poolman, child-abuse, Desteni Cult, Desteni I Process, Equal Money Capitalism, fear of conflict, fear of parents fighting, Forgiveness, Internalizing conflict, Mind Movement Character, Physical body

In this blog post, I will be walking realizations, corrections and self-commitment statements on the self-forgiveness I’ve written on the Mind-Movement Character thus far. Since I’ve started walking this character, I have been more prominently aware of how I’ve come to embody this mind-movement character. In fact, because it was one of the very first characters I initiated and submerged myself into, it is a lot less multi-dimensional than other characters that have an entire storyboard and wardrobe and scripts to fill it out. Because this character has a very simplistic purpose and that is to use the mind to move myself away from myself, inside myself as well as using the physical to do so. And I notice how prominent this is a part of my daily life. From what I can see at the moment, it is in a way all there is, all I’ve done – is to run around constantly running away from myself even though I’m right here. I’ve actually also now started to doubt – though not necessarily in an unpractical sense – whether or not it is the best to write this character out as extensively as I’ve planned. Because I see how planning a months-long writing session on one character can have the effect that one does simply not step to the point of correction and change. Because basically I still live this character and it has detrimental effects on my participation, so it is most certainly why I am here to write it out. Therefore I will write out the dimensions of the time-line I scripted on DAY 163 and from there I will have a look at whether there are more dimensions required to be written out or if this is in fact what is required to be written out for me to stop and change and step out of the Mind-Movement Character.

For context of what I will be walking, here are the points I’ve walked so far beginning with an introductory post where I laid out the components of the mind-movement character:

• Offering Oneself Impunity from the Mind through the Mind: DAY 165
• Confessions of a Child: Initiation of the Giving-in-and-Giving-up Pattern: DAY 164
• Confessions of a Child: Time-Line of The Mind-Movement Character: DAY 163
• Confessions of a Child Capitulating Life to the Smothering Embrace of Lies: DAY 162
• CONsciousness FORMed Babies: If You Can’t Beat Them, Join Them. DAY 161
• Travelling at The Speed of Light of the Mind: DAY 160
• The Mind Movement Character – Introduction: DAY 159

So l will here be walking from the beginning of when I initiated the Mind-Movement character and I will script a correction for myself making the connection between the original pattern and how I am living it today.

SELF-CORRECTIVE AND SELF-COMMITMENT STATEMENTS OF CHANGE

Reacting to the environment – internalizing the external instability and conflict

I remember reacting very much to the sounds, noises, smells and lights of ‘life’ of other people and their comings and goings and it overwhelmed me physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a baby and small child react to my environment by accepting and allowing stress to exist within and as me as I have accepted and allowed myself to let the energies I pick up on in my body into myself and have allowed the energetic instability and conflict to influence the stability and substance of my beingness through which I began internalizing the instability and stress and started accepting it as myself from which and where I eventually became this instability and stress as I accepted it as myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I reacted to in my environment was primarily stimuli as smells and sounds when in fact what I reacted to the most, was energies.

When and as I see that I am reacting to my environment through experiencing a physical sensation of energy within me where I perceive and experience that it is what is happening in my environment that is creating my experience, I stop and I breathe. (An example could be the stress of a cue in the supermarket where others are agitated, or if I pick up on my partner being in a bad mood). I allow myself to slow myself down through breathing to assess in common sense self-honesty for myself whether I am in fact ‘picking up on’ energies in my environment or whether I am the one projecting my own energetic reactions outwards onto my environment and when I am satisfied that it is me who is sensing the energetic reactions of another, I simply breathe and allow myself to be with the energy. Because I see, realize and understand that just because I pick up on energy does not mean that this energy defines me or influences me in any way what so ever. And I see, realize and understand that I can actually be here with the energy without fearing it or pushing it away in fear because when I stand stable here within and as myself as breath, I can simply stand with the energy without allowing it to become me. And I see, realize and understand that I’ve allowed the energy to become me. I also see, realize and understand that I’ve believed that the problem was physical – my environment, other people, noise, smells, overloading of physical sensations – but I see, realize and understand that the ‘problem’ was mental all along as energy is a mental process and that it is only within accessing and identifying myself as the mind that I have allowed myself to become influenced by energies. And so I also see, realize and understand that it doesn’t really matter whether I was affected by something in my environment or whether I created it alone within myself because the fact of the matter is that I allowed myself to define myself according to emotional and energetic experiences and more specifically of the experience of not being able to move away from – which is what I perceived as the solution as a small child – that which I was experiencing as I was projecting it onto and blaming my environment for creating experiences within me, not seeing, realizing or understanding that the solution was not to move myself away but to stand stable within myself directing the experience in common sense self-honesty.

So therefore I commit myself to stop internalizing the reactions I experience towards my environment when I am in the cue and hear someone being irritated or when I see someone fighting in a bus or when I sense that my partner is in a bad mood and I commit myself to insert a moment of pause and stop right there when I sense a change in my environment so that I can allow myself to feel whatever it is without internalizing it and making it a part of myself and fearing it and blaming it and reacting to it and I commit myself to support myself to embrace energetic reactions unconditionally as myself and as such reverse what I’ve done until now in terms of running away and pushing away.

The acceptance of self as weak starts with the baby

And I simply accepted it. I accepted myself as weak and unable to move.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to attempt to physically move myself away from the external influence I was experiencing as a baby affecting me, but because I could not move myself I tried again and again over a period of time and when I could not move myself at all – because there was no conscious realization, I simply could not move myself away from the influence, I accepted it and I accepted myself as a weak

So what I see is that from here, two patterns or characters emerged, one being the mind-movement character where I started moving myself away inside myself and the other being the giving-in-and-giving up pattern that I’ve been writing about extensively. And I see how these are interchangeably connected and most certain affect and define who I am today.

So – when and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in an experience of not being able to move myself away from what I am experiencing through which I step into the pattern of giving-in and giving up on myself in going into the ‘if I can’t beat them, then I’ll join them character’ I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that the origin point within this is a misunderstanding based on the fact that I could not move myself as a baby physically away from my experience, yet I did not understand that I did not have to move myself away physically as it was not my environment that was responsible for my experience of myself and that I could have simply breathed and stabilized myself inside myself – as such I see, realize and understand that I’m still living the same misunderstanding and that I’ve now turned it into a convenient self-sabotage scheme where the ‘solution’ to what I am experiencing is to give myself into it and to move myself away from it, only inside my mind and as such were the result is in fact that whatever experience I am facing, I actually amplify it and enslave myself even further to it in an ‘attempt’ to stop it. And I see, realize and understand that this experience is triggered in situations where I experience that my environment has control over me, in situations where I don’t already direct myself and as such I see, realize and understand that I’ve been creating a snowball effect through reacting to my own experiences instead of applying the simplistic solution of embracing my experience and unconditionally breathing through it without allowing myself to be influenced or defined by it. So – therefore I commit myself to practice the point of embracing my experiences instead of reacting to them.

(To be continued)

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Projection is a Project to Protect Self-Interest: DAY 158

Tags

angry at self, Bernard Poolman, blaming others, Desteni Cult, Desteni Group, Equal Money System, judging others, Projecting onto others, Projection, seeing others as the problem, self anger, self blame, Self-Judgment

In this blog post I am sharing self-corrective and self-commitment statements in continuation to the following blog post:

The Gift of Projection is a Self-Honest Mirror: 157

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in backchat about another being egotistical because of how I perceive them as not doing what I think they should be doing I stop and I breathe and I flag point this for myself as a moment to stop up – because I see, realize and understand that the moment I am busy judging or blaming another in my mind, I am literally in the process of projecting what I am accepting and allowing in myself onto the other, even if it does not feel like it and it feels so real – when I am focusing on another in any negative or positive way in my mind – it is a projection and I stop and I bring the point back to myself in looking at how I am being egotistical and accordingly I commit myself to take self-responsibility for what it is I am accepting and allowing through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

When and as I see that I am reacting towards another where I’d focus in my mind in backchat on what I perceive that the other is doing or not doing and accordingly am accepting and allowing myself to react and where I see this and remind myself that I am projecting – where I in backchat say to myself that I don’t care that I am projecting or where I come up with justifications and excuses to make myself self-righteous in projecting onto another – I stop and I give myself a deep breath and I re-commit myself here to not participate in projection or to hold onto the projection but to bring it back to myself. Because I see, realize and understand that when I project all I do is try to hide from myself to not have to face and take responsibility for myself basically so that I can keep living in a way that I know is not best for all without having to also face the consequences of my action which is the ‘doctrine’ that we’ve all be living by on earth and that is the reason for this wretched mess we’re in now. And I see, realize and understand also that hiding from oneself is redundant because we’re right here, I am right here and I cannot escape myself. All I can do is to change or not change. And if I don’t change, I’ll keep creating the same crap over and over. So therefore I commit myself to stop arguing for my reactions towards others in my mind and I commit myself to discipline myself to bring all points of projection – positive and negative – back to myself so that I can sort myself out here and not send myself on a time-loop to accumulate even more consequences for myself to sort out later.

When and as I see that I am experiencing anger towards myself within and as an experience that “I am angry at myself” I stop. Because I see, realize and understand that for me to be angry at myself it requires that there is more than one of me as there is one that is angry and one that is myself and therefore I see, realize and understand that I am only angry at myself when I separate myself from myself and so for example if or as I accept and allow myself to be egotistical and act in self-interest, I’d separate myself from what I am accepting and allowing and in that create a split through which I would get angry at myself as a polarized reaction because I had already split myself in two – and so I commit myself to stop splitting and separating myself through firstly when and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to experience something towards myself stop myself and breathe. And I commit myself to investigate what it is I have separated myself from through which I’d create this experience of anger so that I can instead bring all parts of me back here and direct myself effectively as ONE in standing as the amalgamating principle within and as myself to no longer accept or allow myself to split myself into parts just so that I can fuck with myself, create inner conflict and abdicate self-responsibility.

When and as I see that I am being super hard on myself or another where I’d result to bullying and blaming and judging in expecting more of another or myself I stop myself and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand how I’ve created this expectation based on a belief and an ide(al) about how I am supposed to be and how another is supposed to be in and as superiority that has nothing to do with practical, actual reality and so reality is ‘doomed’ to disappoint because it cannot live up to this idea or fantasy. And so I see, realize and understand that when I for example become angry at myself for having participated in backchat it is because I had created an idea and a belief for example about who I am supposed to be as I have compared myself to others and so in seeing that I am participating in backchat that is what I focus on, instead of simply focusing on correcting and re-aligning myself to what is best for all in stopping participation in backchat. I see, realize and understand that I can only change myself through embracing myself in saying: “this is what is, this is who I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become, so be it – now I’ll change.” Meaning that it is not complicated – it is simply a matter of recognizing and accepting that this is so and then change myself. So therefore I commit myself to stop bullying myself and to stop being hard on myself and on another because I see, realize and understand that this behavior is not an expression of ‘high standards’ or ‘living by principle’ and as such that I when I step into this character am superior but in fact that it is a self-sabotaging and self-abuse character through which and within which I prevent myself from changing in fact because I am so focused on reacting towards myself for not living up to my own unrealistic expectations.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to react towards myself in anger, resentment, shame, blame and judgment within and as a particular character of perceiving myself as holding ‘high standards’ which I either project onto myself or onto another where I actually fear that part of me that I am judging because I see it as ‘wrong’ and ‘dirty’ and thus as ‘tainting’ my self-righteous self – I stop and I breathe and I remind myself that I am within this seeing everything in reverse because I am using morality to create a fake character of morality and high standards to actually hide my ‘true nature’ of self-interest so that I can keep existing in and as self-interest without having to deal with the consequences and so the anger I experience is actually more towards exposing myself in and as this character saying: “I don’t want this dirty beast in my house, put it in the basement so that I don’t have to look at it and the guests don’t think I am a monster when they arrive”. So through this ‘high horse morality’ character I am in fact deliberately hiding and suppressing my own evilness which also means that when the evilness does emerge and becomes visible and I see myself, it is actually a moment of gratitude and it is cool because the fact that I can see myself in self-honesty, means that I can change. So – therefore I commit myself to further investigate the ‘high horse morality’ character so that I can let it go and step out of this character and move myself to immediate self-correction instead of wasting time on judging and blaming myself through which I react with suppressing myself i.e. running away from myself.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself I stop and I breathe because I see, realize and understand that in being angry at myself I am in fact confirming for myself that whatever it is I am angry at myself towards is ‘who I am’ – I am literally in the anger solidifying myself in and as this particular point that I am angry at myself for being, which is obviously completely unreasonable and illogical. So therefore I commit myself to stop participating in anger towards myself as I have now shown myself how it is not only redundant but also how it serves the exact opposite purpose of what it is presented as, which makes it deceptive and thus I am self-deceptive when and as I participate in anger towards myself. I therefore commit myself to instead develop immediacy in moving myself to and within the simplicity of applying corrective action in terms of writing, self-forgiveness and directively changing my behavior through breathing as I see, realize and understand that this is the only way I can change in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my self-control and direction to self-interest and backchat and desire for stimulation and fear through abdicating my self-responsibility for myself as that desires and fear and as such making myself less than the desire and fear thus giving it control over me and as me making it my directive principle and thus making myself a slave to fear and desire

I commit myself to re-align myself to common sense, practical and simplistic living where I prescribe for myself the basic responsibilities of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application, caring for my body and interacting with others/the physical and where this is what I give my focus and attention to and so I commit myself to steer and direct my attention from entertainment and gossip and stimulation to practical common sense living. So when and as I see myself in backchat wanting to do something else than a point of responsibility that I have prescribed here for myself, I stop and I breathe and I remind myself that I am busy sabotaging myself and that the urge/desire I am experiencing in the moment towards consuming something (which is the most frequent urge) is not real and that the value I see within it through excitement and the craving I experience, is in fact about me deliberately running away from facing myself and taking responsibility and so I see, realize and understand that I require walking a self-education process of teaching myself to live based on different principles and I see, realize and understand that this can and will never happen ‘by itself’ but only through my direct and deliberate stewardship of myself and so I commit myself to re-establish myself here as the steward of myself and I commit myself to honor my life and myself by re-educating myself to value that which is substantial and real, the physical and this process and to let go of my mental value systems which only serves the absolute destruction and detriment of life in fact as I have proven to myself time and again.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to live and act in self-interest where I see that I am experiencing myself powerless towards the particular point or addiction that I am living, I stop and I breathe and I flag this point because I see, realize and understand that when an addiction is running me by its own where it is like it has a life on its own, it is because I have made a decision for the addiction to have control over me deliberately in abdicating my own self-responsibility as creator and authority over myself and therefore I see, realize and understand that to say and experience myself as powerless towards an addiction is a deliberate self-deceptive excuse and justification to not take responsibility for myself by making something/someone else the point of superiority and power in my life when in fact it is all a charade that I have orchestrated and set in motion at my own will, which also means that I can change myself and stop accepting myself as powerless. So therefore I commit myself to investigate in detail and specificity when and as such a point comes up where I would say “I want to stop but I can’t” and to bring the point back to myself in self-responsibility in reversing the permission I’ve given myself to abdicate myself to this point. I commit myself to stop accepting it as natural and normal to exist in self-interest and to accept myself as powerless towards the ‘forces’ that emerge from within and as me as fears, desires and addictions and I commit myself to re-define and re-align what ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ means to common sense practical living in a way that is best for all.

Join us at Desteni, support is available on forum on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All.

FREE Interviews and E-books:

• * LifeReview – My Life as a Peace Activist
• * The Spirituality of the Snail
• * Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2
• * How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message
• * What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2
• * Hell Spoof
• * What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty
• * Quantum Mind Self Awareness  Step 1 and Step 2
• Check out the New FREE course from Desteni: Desteni I Process Lite.

Related articles

• The Gift of Projection is a Self-Honest Mirror: 157
• Back to Breath (Day 19 of 21) Fear Protects Self-Interest DAY 151
• Day 255: Learned Helplessness Character – Oh Woe is Me! (wink, wink)
• Back to Breath (Day 2 of 21) MY “ME” IS MADE OF MEMORIES: DAY 134
• Day 182: I am not good enough” character – backchat dimension (Part4)
• Day 74: It’s Your Fault! The Angry Friend 2
• Day 198: Inner voices directing the choices

Back To Breath (Day 14 of 21) Happiness is a Warm Gun: DAY 146

Tags

Bernard Poolman, Desteni Cult, Desteni Group, Equal Money System, fake happiness, happiness cannot be bought, Happiness is a warm gun, how to be truly happy, true happiness, what makes her happy

Happiness is a warm gun because we use it to sacrifice life for positive feelings of happiness, believing that this makes life meaningful when all it does is kill and destroy

In the next blog posts, I will be writing out the final self-commitment and self-corrective statements on the “happiness doctrine” that I started writing out on DAY 143 as an aspect of the desire to have an easy life. Just now I looked up the word ‘easy’ in an etymology dictionary and it comes from the word ‘ease’ that from a particular definition actually means “to relax one’s efforts”. I can see how this is how I have been living the word ‘easy’ however the desire to have an easy life has been in context to not wanting life to be difficult or strenuous, basically as how it is more comfortable to ride a bike with the wind behind pushing one forward rather than having the wind coming towards oneself where one has to push against the wind to move. This perspective is most definitely cool in giving me insight into exactly how I’ve been living in a relationship to the word ‘easy’ in a desire/fear polarity. Another thing I also saw is that easy in Danish which is my first language translates to ‘light’ as in ‘not heavy’ which is also interesting considering the many energetic charges given to the word ‘light’. There are thus several dimensions in this that are relevant to open up, which I will commence within blogs to come.

I suggest to read the previous posts before reading this post for context of what I will be walking:

21 DAY Commitment: (Day 1) Bringing Myself Back to Breath: DAY 133

Back to Breath (Day 2 of 21) MY “ME” IS MADE OF MEMORIES: DAY 134

Back To Breath (Day 3 of 21) There is only Room for One Here: DAY 135

Back To Breath (Day 4 of 21) Deliberate Cognitive Distortions: DAY 136

Back to Breath (Day 5 of 21) Social Engineered Mind Authority: DAY 137

Back to Breath (Day 6 of 21) Getting Off The Mental Hamster Wheel: DAY 138
Self-Forgiveness

Back to Breath (Day 7 of 21) Chasing Projections: DAY 139

Back to Breath (Day 8 of 21) Clarifying the Starting-Point: DAY 140

Back to Breath (Day 9 of 21) Not Good Enough as an Excuse Not to Change: DAY 141

Back to Breath (Day 10 of 21) I’m More in My Mind than in Life: DAY 142

 

Back to Breath (Day 11 of 21) Just Do What Makes You Happy! 143

Back to Breath (Day 12 of 21) The Happiness Doctrine: DAY 144

Back to Breath (Day 13 of 21) Pursuing Happiness: DAY 145

I also suggest reading the following series by Sunette Spies on happiness.
SELF-CORRECTIVE AND SELF-COMMITMENT STATEMENTS

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in an experience that I HAVE TO ‘do what makes me happy/feel good’ and/or where I experience a great resistance towards doing things that ‘do not make me happy/feel good’ as though I would be committing a sin if I were to stray away from this doctrine, I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that I’ve created a form of religion around doing only what makes me happy, partly based on adopting this perspective from my mother and how I related to my mother in a way that I took everything she said as literal doctrines and prescriptions for how to life and partly from my external environment as advertisements and music and self-help books and from my friends who were living according to the same doctrine and the entire industry of ‘happiness’ that is pushing this doctrine in multiple different ways. And I see, realize and understand that I’ve within creating a religion out of only doing that which makes me happy and through believing in doing what makes me happy as the answer to having a successful and effective life, I’ve in fact sacrificed and compromised actual real living and real satisfaction within and as a self-expression in self-honesty. So therefore I commit myself to let go of the religion of happiness that I’ve held within me and I commit myself to show how the doctrine of only doing that which makes us happy is being impulsed extensively within the consumerist system and how we through believing in happiness as a doctrine we follow religiously are compromising reality because only doing what makes us happy is a flawed principle as that which makes us happy in generating a positive experience is not necessarily that which is best for us or best for all and therefore cannot be trusted as a living principle – which makes it suspicious the extent to which we’ve been impulsing the happiness doctrine in our and each other’s lives. And I commit myself to show and expose how within us following only what makes us happy, we are actually only caring about ourselves and are accepting and justifying abuse of others and of life in general.

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in an experience of fear that if I don’t do what makes me happy I will be miserable and my life will be miserable, I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that this is a classic religious fear where one fears the consequences of not following god or the church. So I commit myself to stop participating in fear of my life being miserable if I don’t do what makes me happy.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to only focus on my own happiness, where I see that I am participating in only focusing on my life and my happiness I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here seeing, realizing and understanding that the only way I can live only doing what makes me happy is through ignoring what is actually going on, on earth and also that through only caring about what makes me happy, I am by default ignoring what is actually going on, on earth and even more so: the fact that I am living here only caring about what makes me happy has massive extensive consequences in the lives of others because I am endorsing a system that is based on exploitation, abuse and inequality of the lives of others because that is the only way I’ve been able to do what makes me happy. I commit myself to show how we deliberately make ourselves blind to the reality of what is here, so that we can justify only doing what makes us happy in deceiving ourselves into believing that what we do as we only care about ourselves has no effect on anyone else, while that is absolute bullshit – because why would we else actively and deliberately ignore what is here as the suffering on earth, as the destruction of the planet, as the extinction of the animals. I commit myself to have the world here with me in every moment, not accepting or allowing myself to be complacent because I now understand, see and realize that this is a deliberate tactic of the mind to avoid taking responsibility for myself and so I commit myself to walk with the world here with me and to daily keep myself oriented about the situation on earth

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deliberately and with full intention disregard the fact that my ability to do what makes me happy is entirely contingent upon my access to money and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deliberately insist that ‘happiness does not cost anything’ and ‘you can be happy anywhere’ and ‘I don’t need any material things to be happy’ instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that everything of what I’ve defined as making me happy, has been provided through me in one way or another through my access to money.

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as excuses within my mind and in conversations with others where I say that “happiness is not material” and “you can be happy anywhere” – I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that these kinds of statements are direct self-deception as happiness is contingent upon having money in this world as only people with money have the luxury to feel happy but I’ve deliberately deceived myself into believing that happiness is not dependent upon money, so that I could lie to myself and pretend that it is not my money that is the reason for why I can experience happiness and as such I can justify using my money on only making myself happy. So I commit myself to stop justifying my happiness through pretending that it is not contingent upon money and I commit myself to show those who claim that happiness has nothing to do with money, how this is not so, and how the people in this world who do not have money also do not have happiness.

To be continued

FREE Interviews and E-books:

* LifeReview – My Life as a Peace Activist

* The Spirituality of the Snail

* Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2

* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message

* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2

* Hell Spoof

* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty

* Quantum Mind Self Awareness  Step 1 and Step 2

Check out the New FREE course from Desteni: Desteni I Process Lite.

Suggest reading Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, support is available on forum on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All.

Related articles

• Childrens Love of Parents is Created with Fear: DAY 127
• Day 218: Does God Exist in the Afterlife? – Part 3 – ADC – Part 66
• 21 DAY Commitment: (Day 1) Bringing Myself Back to Breath: DAY 133
• Back to Breath (Day 12 of 21) The Happiness Doctrine: DAY 144
• Back to Breath (Day 13 of 21) Pursuing Happiness: DAY 145
• Back to Breath (Day 11 of 21) Just Do What Makes You Happy! 143

The Good Human is Pure Evil: DAY 116

Tags

Being a good person, Bernard Poolman, Desteni, Desteni Cult, evil inside me, Evil people, my evil mind, remove the darkness within, the devil in a sunday hat, The good human

“What is the Flaw of Human Rationality? It pretends not to see the Horror and Death at the End of the Schemes it Builds.” – Cosmopolis

This is in continuation to:

The Secret Mind Cover-Up Character: DAY 115

Discussions as the Battle between Good and Evil: DAY 114

Oops, You Missed a Spot! DAY 112

Bad Cop vs. Pure Evil: DAY 111

Staff Sargent F.E.A.R Thomsen: DAY 110

Wrestling Imaginary Alligators of the Mind: DAY 109

Becoming a Person of Integrity: DAY 102

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to approach myself/my process/my relationship with myself from a starting-point of speaking to myself in my mind (as backchat) and acting according to this backchat in deliberately ‘pulling myself together’ through which I will constrict my body, clench my fists and jaw and straighten myself like a solider, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

Because I see, realize and understand that I have within and as that moment, stepped into the ‘contain/control myself as evil’ character through which I believe that I must/can/should control and contain myself – as for example in acting in self-interest, addictions or secret mind fantasies that I’ve judged as ‘amoral’ – where I have assumed a character of ‘strength’ and ‘assertiveness’ like a solider preparing for battle, but where my assertiveness and strength is not real, because it is a character that I have deliberately assumed through entering into/accessing a specific energetic experience and not a self-directive expression and as such, I see, realize and understand that I cannot assert myself within and as a decision to stop a particular behavior or personality through this control/contain character, because I within and as it am judging/suppressing/fighting/fearing and making myself inferior to that which I perceive as ‘lurking in the shadows of my mind’ as ‘the evil/monster within me’ and as such are separating myself from myself as the monster within and as me, through attempting to resist it and push it away, instead of actually directing myself to understand who I am as this monster and why and how I am accepting and allowing myself to let this ‘monster/evil’ within be the directive principle over and as me. So I see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to step into the control/contain character, I am in fact doing nothing but providing a cover-up/cop-out for myself the secret mind, believing that ‘it’ is something separate from me that is dangerous and that I must repel and exorcise in/through fear and thus in fact only abdicate myself further to/as this secret mind entity that I’ve separated myself from/into/as – instead of facing, forgiving and embracing myself directly in and as it, in self-honesty and self-responsibility

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to want to ‘eradicate’ a part of myself through shoving it away, pushing it away, dismiss it and ‘get rid of it’ – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

I see, realize and understand that I within wanting to get rid of a part of myself, am in fact doing the exact opposite of taking self-responsibility and that ‘who I am’ within and as that is an imposed morally superior character based on judgments/ideas/opinions/beliefs through which I am in fact compounding and covering up that which I am attempting to annihilate from/as myself – exactly as how wars are manifested in the world that is supposed to bring peace but only brings more violence and that does in fact support the creation of peace on earth, but only more violence but through which the violence is made justified and as such is covered up

I commit myself to stop fighting myself as the secret mind and I commit myself to stop judging myself as the secret mind and I commit myself to stop separating myself from myself as the secret mind and I commit myself to instead face and embrace myself directly in/as the secret mind, through self-honesty in practically in/through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application where I bring all parts of/as the secret mind out into the open here so that I can direct myself and take responsibility for myself as the secret mind and accordingly direct myself to stand up within/as what is best for all

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an experience of fear towards exposing myself/being exposed as ‘who I am’ within/as the secret mind and where I will do anything to cover-up and avoid being exposed – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity

I see, realize and understand that I have not in fact feared myself as ‘the evil/monster inside of me’ but that I have only feared being caught as that and as such that I would not be able to continue living/existing as the secret mind as the ‘evil/monster inside myself’ because I would be faced with the consequences and thus as long as I keep ‘who I am’ secret I have believed that I could avoid the consequences of who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become and exist as exactly as everyone is hiding who they in fact are at all costs to avoid prosecution and the consequences of being caught – through which the law system has in fact served exactly like my control and contain character in perpetuating, compounding and justifying who we are within and as the secret mind and not to in fact understand the consequences of our actions and who and what we accept and allow ourselves to be and exist as and as such change and align ourselves with/within/as what is best for all – because to do that we must expose who we are and embrace who we are in fact in self-honesty so that we can forgive ourselves and thus release ourselves from the ‘spell’ we’ve placed ourselves under/into/as

And I see, realize and understand that through accepting myself in/as the secret mind, specifically as secret and thus with a bunch of characters that I have created/invented to cover-up/cover for the secret mind, I am directly and indirectly responsible for the secret mind’s dominion on/over this entire earth, where the truth of ourselves lurks in the shadows as civil wars that no one hears about except for the people suffering because of it, as exploitation of people for profit and as the immense abuse of animals that happens behind closed doors and that we are all well aware of, but where we portray happy farm animals on our milk cartoons and present meat clean and with the blood washed off so that we can pretend that we are not a part of – or responsible for or creating the brutality and abuse that is being perpetuated on this earth – exactly like it is the same men who go home to sing to their children in their ‘nice homes’ who will go to some outskirt of the earth and have sex with children or how people will become trapped in the addiction to porn because through it they believe they must hide themselves to not be exposed as the evil they accept and allow within and as them

I commit myself to expose and show the secret mind and to show how it is absolutely vital that we bring the secret mind out into the open and expose the fake and deliberate characters that we’ve placed as cover-up/covering for the secret mind because the secret mind is currently who we are as what we’re accepting and allowing to be the undercurrent that is governing this world through/within/as secrecy and until we uncover what we have deliberately covered up we can’t change ourselves or what is here in and as this world

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a belief and experience that I am evil and that I am the only evil person on earth and that everyone else is ‘good’ – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

Because I see, realize and understand that I have created myself into and as a separate individual part and have as all created everyone into and as separate individual parts that believe that what they experience has nothing to do with everyone else and that through this I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and justify that ‘what I accept and allow in/as/through my mind in the secrecy of my private personal reality, stays in and as my mind in and as my private personal secret reality’ – so that I could in fact continue living/existing/acting in self-deception as deliberate abuse in denial of the consequence that my acceptance of/as myself has on everything/everyone all of existence

And I see, realize and understand that I’ve created a world system of/as a cover-up/covering for – as a veil of ‘civilization’, ‘meaning’, ‘benevolence’, ‘justice’ – exactly as within/as my own mind, through which I’ve hidden/suppressed/contained my true nature as humanity – as pure evil defined as the self-interest to deliberately abuse through deliberately denying the consequence of my creation as my responsibility – and so as I’ve believed my own lie, I have created a friction/conflict within and as myself between the reality of myself as that which I have kept secret and the cover-up of pretending that ‘everything is fine’ and ‘as it should be’ that I knew was a lie

I see, realize and understand that in every moment of participation where I brush off a point within and as myself that I see has consequences for others/the world and simply deny/ignore/suppress it within and as myself, I am literally and directly compounding a world system that is based on a lie that we have deliberately invented and agreed to lie by – those of us who are so ‘fortunate’ to be able to do so because we’re not directly and obviously faced with the physical, practical consequences of who and what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become – through which we’ve continued pretending that who we are and what we accept and allow has no consequences

I see, realize and understand that when and as I accept and allow myself to fight myself as the mind within and as separating myself from/as/within/into the mind in creating a morally superior character through which I judge/annihilate and suppress myself, I am directly responsible for, compounding and creating a world system with thousands of charity organizations and activists movements and religious/spiritual movements that “fight for peace/justice” and that has absolutely no effect but only perpetuate the self-deception and the consequences even further, through placing oneself in opposition to the system and as such as inferior to the system as well as superior to the system, and where we are ‘fighting’ ‘evil’ in the world without any result whatsoever because we are separating ourselves from the origin of evil which is ourselves and are thus only fueling the point even further by accepting ourselves as inferior in matching an ‘evil monster’ of superiority through which we are in fact confirming the authority of evil and abuse and are also justifying our own self-abdication and self-responsibility as the creators of the evil and abuse in the world instead of standing one and equal with/as/within the system and direct the system accordingly to create a world and a self that is best for all, through taking responsibility for all parts and manifestations that are here on earth as our own creation

I see, realize and understand that for me to change myself, I must stand equal to who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become AS the monster and that only by embracing/facing/forgiving myself AS the monster – can I change

I commit myself to equalize myself with/as all parts of manifestation in/as this reality/world as myself through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and as such enable myself, point by point, breath by breath, to take responsibility for the totality of the creation of what is here as myself as all

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a belief/self-judgment/self-definition of myself as ‘having a tendency to give in/give up’ to the mind in/as specific patterns/experiences/addictions/behaviors as an ‘evil’ that I ‘can’t shake off’ or as something that ‘is within me, that is not me’ – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

Because I see, realize and understand that giving into/giving up to the mind is not a ‘personal tendency’ or ‘personal weaknesses’, nor is it a global ‘evil’ like the devil that is within me – because it is who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become since the inception of myself as a separate individualized entity and for all ‘intends and purposes’ it is ‘who I am’ and thus I see, realize and understand that by creating the mind, I had already abdicated myself to it and so it is not in fact ‘a tendency’ but in fact ‘who I am’ as who and what I’ve accepted myself as and who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to – and therefore I see, realize and understand that there is no ‘fight’ or ‘battle between good and evil’ going on because ‘good and evil’ are two sides of the same coin and ‘the battle’ is that through which I as a mind generate energy from the physical to sustain myself and thus to sustain my own self-abdication of myself as life, through which I am in fact annihilating myself as life, which is evident by the process of death and which is evident within and as the manifestation of this world as a whole – where we in order to get THE MOST out of life, are in fact annihilating ourselves as life.

I see, realize and understand that I have deliberately created ‘good’ and ‘evil’ so that I could justify myself in and as an illusion of ‘fighting for the good’ and thus I see, realize and understand that when I give in/give up to the mind, I justify myself as a victim to evilness and make the excuses that ‘I fought for the good, but the evil was too strong’ when in fact I’ve already decided ‘who I am’ which is self-abdication and separation of myself as life, into and as a figment of imagination as the mind through which I live out my desire for energies and experiences

I commit myself to stop, let go of and release the idea/belief/experience/acceptance and self-judgment that I have a tendency to ‘fall for’ the mind – and I commit myself to stand clear within and as the realization that who I am is the mind and the mind is who I am and that whatever I experience and participate within and as is 100 % my own responsibility and creation

I commit myself to stop all definitions/experiences/ideas/beliefs about myself as ‘good’ and ‘evil’

I commit myself to develop self-trust within/as myself through consistent application and pushing for absolute self-honesty within/as myself through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and I commit myself to through this development of self-trust and self-integrity through consistency, stand up as life, to walk out of the mind and into the physical, and I commit myself to dedicate myself to apply myself in self-honesty in every moment of every breath, to change myself into someone who lives what is best for all and so the decision to trust myself – in/as walking process

I commit myself to let go of all fears and beliefs that I can’t trust myself to walk process absolutely – within seeing, realizing and understanding that this is simply a decision I make in every moment of every breath and that I make every time I ‘fall’ until I am simply standing here in/as self-trust as who I am.

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

Related articles

• Discussions as the Battle between Good and Evil: DAY 114
• Bad Cop vs. Pure Evil: DAY 111
• The Secret Mind Cover-Up Character: DAY 115
• Hiding – Part 1
• Character Time Resonance Dimensions – Part 2: DAY 128

 

The Secret Mind Cover-Up Character: DAY 115

Tags

Bernard Poolman, Desteni, Desteni Cult, Good person, Inner Being, integrity, Moral Person, morality, Secret Mind

Who and What is the Secret Mind? What is the Character that Covers the Secret Mind Up with Lies and Morality to Let the Secret Mind Roam in the Shadows?

This is in continuation to:

Discussions as the Battle between Good and Evil: DAY 114

Oops, You Missed a Spot! DAY 112

Bad Cop vs. Pure Evil: DAY 111

Staff Sargent F.E.A.R Thomsen: DAY 110

Wrestling Imaginary Alligators of the Mind: DAY 109

Becoming a Person of Integrity: DAY 102

When and as I see that I am seeing/perceiving/experiencing/reacting towards a conflict in my external environment – meaning in others or in my relationship to/with others, I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

Because I see, realize and understand that when I in fact see a conflict in my external reality in common sense self-honesty, equality and oneness, there is no reaction and I stand equal and one with what I see within and as myself within and as understanding the process of creation through which I have manifested the particular conflict and accordingly I am able to direct it effectively – because it is no different to directing myself and as I’ve equalized myself in/as the point of conflict, I also understand how to direct the conflict in aligning/re-aligning to what is best for all. Within this – I see, realize and understand that whenever I am reacting towards a conflict that I see/perceive/experience in/as my external environment – that I am no longer seeing what is here in fact, but am projecting a conflict within and as myself onto my external reality and thus that the conflict that I am seeing as external, is in fact showing me a conflict within and as me that I have separated myself from/into/as and thus I see, realize and understand that I require stopping myself from reacting and instead bring the point of conflict back to myself so that I can equalize myself with/as the point conflict and through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application take self-responsibility for the conflict that I have manifested and created within and as me and that I have separated myself from/into/as and projected onto a separate external reflection of myself so that I may release the conflict and resolve the conflict in a way that is best for all where I stand one and equal to/with/as the point of conflict and direct myself accordingly to change.

I commit myself to stop externalizing my inner conflicts and I commit myself to take responsibility within and as myself for having separated myself from my inner conflicts and through this have projected my inner conflicts onto an externalized reflection of myself and through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application bring the point of conflict back to myself and accordingly direct myself in common sense self-honesty to release and let go of the conflict and equalize the origin point of the conflict within/as me to what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop externalizing myself through separating myself from myself, where I would see my external environment through my own mind and thus as a reflection of my own self-separation – and I commit myself to do that, through identifying and making myself aware of when and as I am seeing/perceiving/experiencing/defining what is here as more-than this physical reality and to accordingly bring this back to myself so that I can take responsibility for that of and as myself that I’ve separated into and as an externalized reality.

An example of this can be how we, when being ‘in a bad mood’ of for example feeling depressed, it will look like the entire world is depressed, rain will appear ‘sad’, everything suddenly looks grey and often we will interpret it as such that it is this external ‘sad’ reality that is causing our experience of depression and sadness when in fact it is the exact reverse. Similarly to how one, when one is ‘in love’ will suddenly see the world as more colorful or glowing – which is no different. So the point is to identify these ‘filters’ that we lay upon the physical reality which is actually a really cool tool to identify how we’ve separated ourselves from ourselves, because each filter is telling us something about ourselves – and is not in fact a representation and reflection of the actual physical reality.

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an experience of feeling/thinking/believing/experiencing/blaming something/someone in/as my external reality for how I experience myself, as though they are the creator of and thus responsible for how I experience myself – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

I see, realize and understand that blaming another for how I experience myself is a deliberate application of self-manipulation that I have used to abdicate self-responsibility for myself and for myself as the creator of myself and the experiences that I accept and allow within and as me. I see, realize and understand that it is through this projection-of-responsibility character, that I am directly responsible for and the creator of religions where people hold an idea of a god/devil responsible for who they are – and as such disenfranchise their own ability to change their situation through which they justify the continuation of their existence in and as abuse and powerlessness

I commit myself to stop all blame within and as myself and I commit myself to stop and let go of the belief that another can in any way be responsible for what I experience within and as myself and as such I commit myself to give myself back the power to change myself through giving myself back the responsibility and authority for who I am and thus for changing who I am to a being that is best for all

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as a judgment/blame/resentment/experience/perception/belief/definition/acceptance of another as being untrustworthy through which I experience myself as morally superior and thus as trustworthy in comparison to another – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and my physical body in and as self-integrity

Because I see, realize and understand that I have separated myself from my own untrustworthiness (for example) and through this have created an additional personality/character/entity of ‘looking down upon’ myself as superior to myself that I have thus projected outside myself onto my relationship with another – that in fact is reflecting my polarized relationship with myself, in and through which I am in fact deceiving and diluting myself to believe that I am morally superior to another that I see as morally inferior so as to abdicate my own self-responsibility for myself as being untrustworthy

I commit myself to stop and let go of the morally superior character and I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, bring to the surface of my awareness here, to deconstruct and expose to myself in self-honesty all the character that I have invented and placed myself in/as through which I have created internal conflict and friction within and as placing myself in/through/as my mind in oppositional characters of polarity where one will be the dominant but hidden/secret character where the other will be the visible/public character that is inferior from the perspective of me not actually accepting myself as it, but only use it to cover-up the secret character and as such create a self-relationship/self-definition/self-image where the public character is the dominant/superior as that is one I participate within and validate through/as/within my conscious mind and through which I deliberately suppress/hide the secret character through judging/fearing/being ashamed of it and such through which I accept and allow myself to remain enslaved to/as this character by allowing myself to exist in/as it in secrecy as an undercurrent that I have made myself deliberately unaware of

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to step into the morally superior character towards myself through which I judge myself and ‘look down upon’ a part/aspect/point of participation of/as myself that I in/as this character see as inferior/a threat/bad/a monster/must be suppressed – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

I see, realize and understand that the only purpose of the morally superior character is in fact to hide and cover-up a secret character of immorality – in/as deliberate self-interest so as to be able to continue existing in/as this character of self-interest through justifying it by placing a moral superiority upon myself so that “At least I feel bad about what I have done/who I am” and through deliberately keeping it secret through suppression through judgment/shame and as such separate myself into two oppositional characters that exist interdependently

I commit myself to stop all judgments of myself and all reactions towards myself through which I suppress myself

I commit myself to stop hiding the characters that I have accepted as ‘who I really am’ within and as my ‘real’ motivation for participation/being/living in a specific way that I know is within a starting-point of self-interest and abuse and that I thus have hidden from myself deliberately and feared deliberately – so that I could continue existing in/as it in secrecy in the belief that I could thus avoid the consequences of and what I accept and allow myself to be/exist as and as such avoid taking self-responsibility for who I accept myself as

I see, realize and understand that there is absolutely no avoiding or escaping the consequences of whom and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become/exist as and that it is only through separating myself from myself as the whole of existence and deliberately make some ‘parts’ of and as myself – such as other human beings, animals or the entire earth pay and suffer and face the consequences in my name

I see, realize and understand that I have made myself deliberately oblivious to the consequences of who and what I accept and allow myself to be/exist as where I have no clue whatsoever what the consequences in fact are of my every move, word, thought and deed and that it is specifically because I have been born into a society with the most money and into a stable system through which I have been able to hide the consequences from myself and as such deceive myself into believing that whatever happens on the other side of the world – or even in the apartment next to mine, is not my responsibility or creation. And as such – I see, realize and understand that I have deliberately accepted and allowed myself to create consequences of utmost abuse, suffering and pain for billions of beings on this earth – beings as animals that are left to rot or kept in secret facilities while humans conduct experiments on them or breed them in horrendous conditions for profit – all the while I have been living my life and have taken my ability to buy cheap products and products that are ‘tested’ to not make me sick – without ever considering how that is made possible or what the consequences are and how I am in fact creating those consequences through who and what I accept and allow myself to be.

I commit myself to face the consequences of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and exist as, directly and I commit myself to develop the ability and self-honesty and equality required for me to in fact see in absolute detail and specificity the exact consequences of my every action, word, thought and deed, so that I may enable myself to assess whether a point of participation is best for all or not

I commit myself to show that who and what we each accept ourselves as, both within ourselves and in our participation in this reality, is the creating the total sum of consequences as well as the individual consequences manifested in/on/as this earth – even when we don’t see it, admit it or are aware of it – and that there is NO running away from who we are within and as the consequences we are manifesting: either we keep creating consequences which will only create more suffering or we stop take responsibility through getting to know ourselves and understand how we are in fact creating this world and as such commit ourselves to change – no matter what, we WILL face and walk through the consequences

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an experience of fear towards a part of and as myself that I see emerging in a moment either within myself or as reflected in another and I immediately want to suppress/hide myself as that part of myself – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back to myself here in and as my physical body in and as self-integrity.

(To be continued)

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

Related articles

• Thoughts: Pixels of the Screen of the Mind – Part 2: DAY 146
• Hiding – Part 1
• Parental Input in Child Character-Building – Part 2: DAY 109
• WHO do You TRUST Yourself AS? DAY 112
• The Creation of the Self Character – Part One: Day 94
• Emotional/Feeling Body Creation – Part 2: DAY 103
• The Science of Thought – Part 1: DAY 150

Wrestling Imaginary Alligators of the Mind: DAY 109

Tags

Bernard Poolman, Blame, Desteni Cult, Don Quixote, Forgiveness, Human, Mind, relationships, self trust, Self-Distrust, Thought, Tilting Windmills, Wrestling Alligators

Is it Possible to Control the Mind? How do we Control the Monsters of the Mind? Must we Fight Them? How do we Develop Self-Trust in a world without Trust?

I am here sharing a point of feeling myself totally powerless towards having discussions with others. And so when I do ‘share’ my perspective – it will not be in breath, here breathing, supporting another unconditionally as myself or in common sense, but will be a ‘hissy fit’ in fact of blame, resentment, judgment, spite and desperation. I literally make it a fight. The worst part is that from what I can see at the moment, there is no distinction between points that in fact ARE unacceptable and that requires correction and support and points where I am interpreting what my partner is saying from within a reaction in myself. This means that I have no effective way of directing, trusting or assessing myself in the moment of communication. Often it leads to fights where I am primarily the one that is fighting, where I’ll raise my voice to a higher pitch and go into ‘discussion mode’ which I experience within myself as ‘battling the beast’ – almost like I am here as a ‘god fearing’ Christian person who is battling ‘the devil within’.

I’ve applied self-forgiveness and written on this point quite extensively on my Danish blog, however it still happens, and afterwards I feel ashamed, feel shitty, evil and guilty. In the moment of experiencing anger, I definitely experience it as righteous and even necessary for me to become angry as I perceive myself as being ‘up against’ a sort of ‘mind/ego-monster’ that is extremely powerful and resourceful and that can twist my words and manipulate me to doubt myself and take the blame on myself. This specific experience comes from memories of past relationships where I did this – but obviously all of it, is reflecting my relationship with myself. Afterwards I experience myself depleted and strained in/on my physical body.

When I bring this back to myself I can see that these points most often emerge when I have compromised myself in my own living participation, when I have shown myself that I cannot be trusted to care for what is best for all, when I have sabotaged a point of responsibility that I have taken and I am fighting inside/with myself believing that I must control and contain my own ‘beast’ or ‘monster’ of self-interest, ego and inconsideration.

So if I bring all of this back to myself, this is what the point is: I am not effectively directing myself to live in a way that is best for all. I fight with myself as ‘who I am’ in/as self-interest/ego in actually perceiving/experiencing/believing/accepting ‘who I am’ as self-interest/ego to be ‘more than’ and ‘stronger than’ me. This is based on memories of myself ‘giving in and giving up’ where I know that I have a tendency to do so and accept that ‘this is who I am and will be’ and instead of directing myself in practicality, self-support and common sense, I’ll judge myself and fight myself and believe that I must ‘control/contain the monster’ to become someone who can be trusted with caring for what is best for all. And as I accept myself – yet suppress and separate myself from/within/as – so will I see, perceive and experience my partner in/as a direct reflection of my relationship with myself. I am in fact ‘the monster’ that does not care and I am also the one who does not trust myself to care because of holding onto memories/definitions of myself as being untrustworthy and therefore have employed a point of self-control/containment to ‘deal with the issue’ which does in fact NOT deal with the issue, because my starting-point within that has been accepting that ‘this is who I am and will ever be’ and as such accepting myself as ‘the monster’ as superior and myself as the directive principle to decide who I am/will be as inferior as well as suppressing myself as ‘the monster’ in judging/moralizing it as inferior and presenting a superior character of ‘care’.

WHO is ‘The Monster’ of Self-Interest, Ego and Justification?

If I am cleaning and my starting-point is to “just get it over with” I will often neglect a specific point that I see requires cleaning. In that moment I know exactly what I am doing, I know that I am compromising myself and my living environment and I’ll come up with justifications like “well, it’s not that bad” or “I’ll leave it for later” or “I got so much to do so if I do this as well, I won’t have time for the important stuff.”

I do it through procrastinating deliberately – and it is within this deliberateness that I undermine and devalue my own self-integrity – I see what is required yet I CHOOSE not to do it, because I DON’T WANT TO. An example can be resisting any point of application and then complying with that resistance. That is undermining my own authority as directive principle and thus my development of self-integrity. I thus can’t trust myself to act in the best interest of all, because what is currently sitting in the driver seat deciding where I’m going is who I am as the mind, as self-interest and ego. But then at the same time, on top of this, I’ve placed another image of me as a responsible driver sitting there steering myself towards a world that is best for all. Clearly a point of self-deception.

I discussed all of this with my partner and he also pointed out that the main point in all of this is self-distrust where I allow thoughts/backchat/emotions and feelings to be the directive principle of how I care for – and control the cats and him and that I don’t trust myself to be here in the moment in directing myself HERE. The point that then immediately came up within me is: “well of course I can’t trust myself . Just look at me .” And then I’ll start listing in my mind all the reasons and ways that I can’t trust myself. What I’ve seen within this is that if I hold onto the belief that I can’t trust myself and within that experience it as righteous because I am saying to myself that “At least I know that I can’t trust myself and then take measures of control to ensure I don’t do harm”. When I think about the fact that I can’t trust myself, I experience a sense of ‘pride’ almost, like I am being ‘really self-honest’. “I am SO self-honest that I can admit that I can’t be trusted. That’s at least something.” But then when am I ever going to trust myself? When am I ever going to allow myself to build self-trust if all I do is remind myself how I can’t be trusted? And is that not exactly perpetuating the self-distrust in that I through that give myself permission to ‘not be trustworthy’? Yes. The cats thus represent my relationship towards ‘life’ as the process of changing myself to become a person that cares for what is best for all and that acts accordingly in every moment. The cats are what I see/define as Life/Innocence. My partner represents my relationship with myself in/as the mind and then the pivot as the question of how to live effectively as what is best for all, represents my process of walking myself out of the mind and into the physical in equality and oneness.

The solution:

What I see as the solution is that I must identify how I am untrustworthy to myself and then change these points of participation from self-distrust and compromise to self-trust and self-integrity, within and as changing the directive principle within which I apply myself in the particular point – and in all points. Furthermore I see that I require releasing and letting go of the belief/acceptance that I can’t be trusted/am not trustworthy. Because I can see how I’ve been using that as a backdoor to justify why I can’t apparently trust myself and then if/when I allow myself to deliberately compromise a point of participation, I can say: “see, I said I could not be trusted.” I believe that I must control my way out of the mind, that I must ‘smoke it out’ with force and contain it, like wrestling a giant alligator and using constraints to control it because I know that it’s stronger than me and would eat me in a second. The thing is though that there is no alligator and the alligator is not fighting me. It’s merely doing what I’ve programmed it to do in my abdication of myself. So it’s like instructing the mind to drive me for me, so that I can sit with my feet up and ‘enjoy the ride’ and then instructing it to “whatever I do or say, don’t let me take over the steering wheel” and then suddenly start yelling and screaming that “I must now take over the steering wheel” and “why are you driving? Why are you not letting me drive, it’s my car”. Lol.

So this entire point is actually utterly simplistic – because the point is for me to start taking responsibility for myself and that means within the immediacy of the moments of my day because that is where ‘the real shit goes down’. This is the point – to change/direct/correct myself within and as the menial moments of my daily participation and to change all these points, point by point, writing by writing, breath by breath, until I’ve stood equal to and have directed myself in self-responsibility and are simply here directing myself immediately in the moment. I can’t trust myself because I have not directed myself in every moment to become someone who can be trusted. It’s as simple as that. Wallowing in me not being able to trust myself is not going to change a damn thing – on the contrary. It’ll only open backdoors for me to slip through saying “sorry, I couldn’t help it” with a cheeky smile on my face and blushing cheeks. It’s not a matter of turning this point into an emotional farce/drama of saying “ohhh nooooo, I can’t trust myself, I’m so bad and evil” OR to say: “I can so totally trust myself, I’m awesome, it’s everyone else who’s fucked.” There is absolutely no practical reason for me not being able to change and direct myself in self-trust, trusting myself to develop self-trust. And there is absolutely no practical reason that I can’t live with my partner and the cats in a way that is effective, through me standing as an example within my relationship with myself. So that is my directive from here on out.

In my next post I will commence with self-forgiveness and self-corrective commitment statements.

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

Related articles

• Day 135: Is self-intimacy beautiful?
• Becoming a Person of Integrity: DAY 102
• 148. Transcending Anger through Breathing – A Commitment.
• How Thoughts Activate Personalities – Part 1: DAY 123
• A Problem? In me? What? No! It Can’t Be!
• Day 132: DESTENI Character – Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2)
• 7 years journey to life: Day 109: Wanting to please

Gluttony: DAY 107

Tags

#TeamLife, Bernard Poolman, Century of The Self, Desteni Cult, Earth, Gina Rinehart, Glutton, Gluttony, Gluttony as Sin, Gollum, One Ring, Sméagol, Substance Abuse

What is Gluttony? Why do we become Gluttonous? Is there no end to Gluttony? When will we stop Consuming Life to be Life? How does one stop being a Glutton?

(It is suggested to watch The Century of The Self for context to this blog series)

I am continuing here with Self-Corrective Self-Commitment statements on the Consumption Character from:

• The All-Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106
• The MORE We Consume, The LESS We Live: DAY 105
• We Created the Gina Rineharts of this World: DAY 104
  Consuming Life To Live Life: DAY 99
  I CONsuME: DAY 98
  The Consumption Character: DAY 97
  Stepping out of the Temptation Character: DAY 96
  And Lead us not into Temptation, but Deliver us from Evil: Day 95
  The Temptation Character: Day 94
  Desire to Connect/Fear of not Connecting with Others: DAY 88
  Oneness According to The Jealousy Character: DAY 87
  ‘My Precious’ Addiction Redefined (PART 2): DAY 53
  Gollum, Sméagol and ‘My Precious’ Addiction (PART 1): DAY 52
  Addicted to Abuse of Substance (Part 2): DAY 48
  Addiction as ‘Life’ (Part 1) DAY 47
  Give ME MORE or I’ll Throw a TANTRUM! (Part 3): DAY 46
  More IS Less (Part 2): DAY 45
  MORE Wants MORE Wants MORE (Part 1): DAY 44

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as fear as equating the feeling/experience of ‘nothing’ when I don’t have an external point of stimulation on or inside my body with dying/not being alive and thus within and as that believe that when I take/get a point of external stimulation I will be/become alive and not die – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all.

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to fear not being alive/living/that I will die if I don’t have an external point of stimulation to consume/ingest/digest within and as me – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all.

I see, realize and understand that I have equated and defined living/being alive with/as only an energetic experience of MORENESS that I’ve derived from consuming the physical and I see, realize and understand how this is in fact how I’ve lived and existed in/as the exact opposite of living/being alive and how the consequence of me living this miss-equation is in fact the depletion, destruction, death of me and through which I’ve never in fact accepted or allowed myself to live, because I only believed/accepted/experienced living as something MORE than what is Here, not seeing realizing or understanding that MORE and LESS is an interdependent polarity manifestation that within it’s construct/design is infinite as MORE always wants MORE and always equates /produces/is produced by the acceptance/manifestation/experience of LESS

I commit myself to stop hunting/chasing/wanting/needing/desiring MORE than what is HERE and I commit myself to realize that what is HERE is WHOLE yet that I determine and direct what that WHOLENESS is – which is at the moment, because of who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become in my desire for MORE, is in fact LESS – because I’ve denied, disregarded, devalued what is HERE as WHOLENESS as myself as who I am

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and the Consumption Character in and as constant fear of lacking, losing, not being satisfied or full or whole – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back HERE to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity within and as the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that the only reason I would fear/experience myself as NOT whole, is because I have already accepted myself as a hole – as a manifestation of lacking/loss/leaking as a separate entity that exists in competition with everything/everyone else to consume life – and I see, realize and understand that my want/need/desire to become whole/full/complete/satisfied is in fact me confirming and validating and legitimizing myself as half/hole/lost/losing/lacking/leaking within and as accepting myself as separate from what is HERE as myself in and as my physical body and as all of existence as a whole

I see, realize and understand that I can never ‘get to’ WHOLENESS unless/until I realize that I exist within/as the WHOLE that is Here as all of existence – and thus I see, realize and understand that I within my desire/want/need/urge/chasing after MORE – as wholeness, completeness, satisfaction, fullness – was in fact only confirming/validating and legitimizing my own DELIBERATE Self-Separation where I in fact did not want to be WHOLE, but wanted to CONSUME ALL and TAKE ALL and in my delusional belief defined this as being/becoming WHOLE while all I did was digging myself into and as a bigger and bigger HOLE in/through/as my mind

Thus – I see, realize and understand that being WHOLE means to give up the delusion/illusion of separation, which means that I must realize myself as the WHOLE that is HERE and take responsibility for myself as the WHOLE that is here and walk-with/as the WHOLE that is HERE in bringing myself back to WHOLENESS in/as Equality and Oneness – which I can only do – if I give up and let go of my quest to become/be/get/have/consume/take MORE and

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application in taking responsibility for myself as who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as my abdication and separation of and from myself to transform myself into a being, as a human being that GIVES to all as myself as I FOR-GIVE me in GIVING myself back to myself – through stepping out of the Consumption Character as the Desire for MORE/Fear of LOSS

I commit myself to become someone that GIVES as I would like to receive and I see, realize and understand that I can only do/be/live that by letting go of FEAR of LOSS because it is through fear of loss that I am keeping myself existing within and as the Consumption Character in greed and self-interest

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as fear that whatever I perceive/experience/believe that I have, will be taken from me by another as outside and separate from me and that I will thus be lacking/losing that which I have – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here – to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity in and as the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all

When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as an urge/want/need/desire to take/get/have/consume MORE based on the fear that another will take form me what I believe that I have – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here – to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity in and as the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that when/as I accept and allow myself to justify and thus act on the urge/want/need/desire to take/get/have/consume MORE based on the fear that another will take form me what I believe that I have, I am directly and indirectly responsible for and the creator of the inequality existing on earth, where countless beings are suffering in absolute hell while a minute few exist in over-consumption and just keeps consuming/taking more and more

Thus – I commit myself to stop, delete and let go of the urge/want/need/desire to take/get/have/consume MORE and I commit myself to develop a way of living that is in equilibrium with/as all life as what is best for all through the implementation of an Equal Money System and through bringing myself back here to the physical in and as equality with/as my physical body through breathing/breath

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into and as a positive energetic experience when I consume/have consumed something externally onto or in my body where I feel and experience myself satisfied/full/whole/happy/excited/relaxed/feeing complete/whole – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity in the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up in equality and oneness as what is best for all

I see, realize and understand that the Consumption Character is not Real – because the Consumption Character is not HERE in and as the Physical, yet it is dependent upon the Physical to maintain itself as it extracts energy from the physical only to maintain itself as the Consumption Character

I see, realize and understand that the positive energetic experience that I’ve derived from Consuming the Physical has been within and as experiencing myself obtaining/getting/being/becoming/having MORE which in fact only has been within and as experiencing/accepting myself as LESS in and through my separation of and from myself HERE in and as the physical

I commit myself to stop participating in positive energetic experiences when consuming something externally in and onto my physical body and I commit myself to change myself into someone who nurtures myself in oneness and equality with/as the physical and through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application investigate and get to know myself in detail and specificity as all the points/parts/aspects of and as myself through which I have accepted and allowed myself to consume more than what is required for me to sustain myself and to develop a way of nurturing myself in a way that is best for all through getting to know and understand how the physical works in detail in equality and oneness so that I can direct myself accordingly

I commit myself to support myself to walk through and breathe through the fear of not constantly consuming and to support myself through breathing, to remain here in and as my physical body in and as stepping out of the mind and the addiction to energy that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become consumed by/within/as

When and as I see, that I am accepting and allowing myself to through backchat participate within and as a belief/idea/experience as a justification that it is the physical that – as something separate from me – is ‘demanding/craving/needing/urging/wanting’ to consume and thus that I am blaming the physical and making the physical responsible for my addiction to energy and my abdication of myself to the Consumption Character – I stop. I breathe and I bring myself back here to myself in and as my physical body in self-integrity in the decision and dedication of/as myself to stand up as life in equality and oneness as what is best for all.

I see, realize and understand that by projecting myself as the Consumption Character onto the Physical I have abdicated self-responsibility for myself as the creator of the Consumption Character and have thus abdicated myself to the Consumption Character within and as accepting the Consumption Character as MORE than me – as Superior to me here in the physical and that I have thus abdicated my power to change myself and to stop and step out of the Consumption Character

I commit myself to equalize myself to/as the Consumption Character by taking responsibility for myself as the creator of and as the Consumption Character and accordingly take responsibility for stopping, deleting and stepping out of the Consumption Character

(To be continued)

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

Related articles

• Thoughts: Pixels of the Screen of the Mind – Part 2: DAY 146
• Yes, I KNOW!!! – Part 1: DAY 147
• Stepping out of the Temptation Character: DAY 96
• And Lead us not into Temptation, but Deliver us from Evil: Day 94
• I CONsuME: DAY 98
• The Consumption Character: DAY 97
• The All-Consuming Monster of Self: DAY 106