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A Vixen's Journey to Life

~ "Though She be but Little, She is Fierce." – Shakespeare

A Vixen's Journey to Life

Tag Archives: Anna Brix Thomsen

2012 – Birthing is an Equal and One Team-Work

21 Tuesday Feb 2012

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Anna Brix Thomsen, Birth, Desteni I Process, Desteni2012, DIP, Equal Money System, guru, Know how, Mother and Child, Rebirth, Symbiosis, Team-Work

I realize that a birth is a team-work. If the mother is not assisting and pushing and breathing effectively, the birth can get complicated. If the child does not prepare itself and place itself correctly and activate the birth at the right time it can be dangerous for itself and for the mother.

I am the mother of myself as the self-directive decision to stop, stand up and change and I am the child as that which is coming forth as an entirely new expression of and as myself that I don’t even know yet – as the birthing of myself as life from the physical.

3 points:

  • Birthing Life from the Physical
  • The word pertaining to this point that I require working with is “Real”
  • The word in relation to this is “Team Work”

Okay – so what I am seeing is that it is about me considering “birthing life from the physical from the perspective of the mind as self-interest/ego/personality – largely within fear; where the actuality of birthing life from the physical is not about “me” but about all that is here.

In relation to the word “Real”, I heard within me the expression “get real” – meaning that I require changing my starting-point from how I have seen birthing life from the physical from a starting-point of fear of not surviving to actually seeing that what we are doing with Desteni, IS birthing Life from the physical and that I am self-responsible for directing myself within and as it.

So while I have considered myself incapable of birthing life from the physical as myself, I have been doing it all along together with all the other Destonians.

Another prominent point I see, is that it pertains to jealousy where I have been looking at the point completely and entirely in separation from myself, within perceiving others effectiveness as a threat to my own and as a sign that I am not “going to make it”, instead of being grateful that they are “moving” for and as all of us.

This also has to do with letting go of the self as I have believed it to be as “me”.

What is the REALNESS, the Actuality of birthing Life from the physical? It is what we are doing together with Desteni, with the interdimensional beings and all the other creatures that are here. That is “the team” – all of existence together.

What this also creates is friction and conflict within myself, where I am exactly not working or standing as a team within and as myself.

For me to birth life from the physical it requires that I work as a team, where all the parts of myself that are able and capable of supporting, assisting and pushing these changes, do so instead of the parts of and as myself fighting against “each other” – perpetuating further separation.

Birthing life from the physical is real. It is what we are here to do. It is not about whether we will make it or who will or when – all that is irrelevant and preparing for a fall in self-deception as well as living as such in self-delusion. What does matter is that we do whatever it takes to get this done and to work out how it is practically done.

These tools I got: writing, self-forgiveness, breathing myself here, walking the agreement, supporting other beings, spreading the message and standing in the system.

These are the tasks at hand – the only tasks at hand and I got to make sure that I stand within and as myself as a team – a team in recognition that I am separate from the perspective of what I have accepted and allowed and therefore not living or walking as one, yet placing in a self-directed placement of support as “team-work”, where in the perceived separated parts of myself can “work together” to get this done – to actually birth life from the physical.

Birthing Life from the physical can never be separate from me. If I am not birthing myself as life from the physical in a self-honest self-direction, then I am supporting the lie, the abuse, the suffering to continue – and that is obviously unacceptable.

Therefore my notions of in-fear-priority are obviously self-deceptive and based on self-interest, which is actually a regard of self as more than life. Because here we are, with the opportunity to stand up, with all the support we ever needed – yet declining it. Is it a deliberate decision continuously made by deliberately communicating about it in and as past, future and present. (Thanks Atlanteans for assisting with that realization)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define “birthing life from the physical” within and as separation from myself as life, by defining “birthing life from the physical” in a relationship with myself as mind/ego/personality to and towards my perception of time/process/the world/existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as birthing life from the physical within defining birthing life from the physical from within and as the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define “birthing life from the physical” in a relationship with myself as mind/ego/personality to and towards my perception of time/process/the world/existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider birthing life from the physical in the context of myself as an individual person and thus as the mind/ego/personality in and of separation of and from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, perceive, accept and believe birthing life from the physical as the act of me ensuring my own survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider, look at and define birthing life from the physical from a starting-point of mind as ego and personality within and as fear of not surviving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider, look at and define birthing life from the physical from a starting-point of fear of losing myself as I have come to accept myself in and as my very existence, thus entirely contradicting what birthing life from the physical is, as the giving up on myself as that which I have come to accept myself as, IS what birthing life from the physical starts with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that birthing life from the physical is about me ascending, “becoming”, evolving and as such surviving, when in fact birthing life from the physical is the self-directed decision in self-honesty to stop the creation of myself as all and everything that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as, in and as separation from myself, so that I can bring all parts of myself back to myself and as such stand sound, whole and as one here, equal and one with and within all that is here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that I am incapable and unable to birth myself as life from the physical and not realize that I within accepting and allowed myself to make that living statement of and as myself, have justified not changing myself for take self-responsibility for who and what I have allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, see and understand that birthing life from the physical is simply me taking self-responsibility for who, what and how I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as and within, and within that direct myself to change in such a way that I end the separation that I have manifested and accumulated myself into and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, define and accept birthing life from the physical as ascension, evolution and as such survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to superimpose myself as ego existing within fear of not surviving, of losing myself as that which I perceive to be myself as life, onto birthing life from the physical within how I have defined, seen, believed and accepted life from the physical in my mind

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that birthing life from the physical is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that how I define birthing life from the physical within and as my mind, is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate birthing life from the physical from myself and thereby and within that separate myself from myself as well as accepting myself to continue existing in self-separation, deception and inequality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is possible to be separate from birthing life from the physical, instead of realizing that it is only within and as the self-accepted and created delusion of the mind that anything or anyone can be or is separate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself to birth myself as life from the physical within and as believing and accepting that it is impossible for me to birth life from the physical, based on a starting-point of accepting myself as inferior to my idea of birthing myself as life from the physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that birthing life from the physical, is the self-directive decision to stand up and stop the mind in and as separation of and from myself here as life until it is done and all parts of me that I have separated myself into and as are here as me directly, whole and sound.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I do not take the self-directed responsibility to birth myself as life from the physical, then I don’t exist, because all I have accepted myself as within that, is fear of loss, fear of not surviving, within and as the mind as ego in separation of and from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others for birthing life from the physical in the perception, belief and acceptance of defining birthing life from the physical within fear of loss and fear of not surviving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not responsible for birthing myself as life from the physical, within and as defining myself as incapable and unable to birth myself as life from the physical within seeing, defining, judging and experiencing myself as inferior and not good enough

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have made a deliberate decision to not birth myself as life from the physical, because otherwise I simply would

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to create, manifest and believed that I have a choice or an option of whether or not to birth myself as life from the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to opt out of birthing myself as life from the physical through the justification and excuse that I am not good enough to birth myself as life from the physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that birthing life from the physical comes from standing and walking within and as myself  as a team work between all parts of myself that I have separated myself into and as that have realized, accepted and understood that I am in fact birthing myself as life from the physical, to assist and support myself to stand up as life and assist and support those parts of and from myself that have not yet realized that I am birthing myself as life from the physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that birthing life from the physical is a teamwork between all of existence, as all the parts that I have separated myself into and as

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is all life, all of existence as all the parts that I have separated myself into and as that is birthing life from the physical and not me as an individual human being on a path to ascension or immortality and that it is as such that I birth myself as life from the physical, by walking-with and as all as one as equal as life, until it is done.

When and as I see that I am participating in thoughts of worry and fear towards birthing myself as life from the physical, I stop, I breathe.

When and as I see that I am participating in thoughts and backchat of and as jealousy, envy, comparison and competition in relation to birthing myself as life from the physical, I stop, I breathe.

I see, realize and understand that those that are walking-with and that are supporting themselves to stand-up are parts of myself that I have not yet stood one and equal with and as. I push myself to be grateful, humble and honoring in seeing that it is parts of myself that are standing up and not parts separate from me that I must fight against. I push myself to stand one and equal with all parts of and as myself and bring all points of separation back to myself.

I realize, see and understand that I am responsible for birthing life from the physical as myself through standing as a team within and as myself as the parts I have separated myself into and as so that I can assist and support myself to support altogether the parts of me that have not yet seen, realized or understood that I am as a whole birthing life from the physical through stopping self-separation – and that this team as myself is my own process as an individual human being within the application of writing, breathing, self-forgiving, re-scripting the living word, correcting my living application and supporting everyone else to do the same.  This team is also the team of people as Destonians that have seen, realized and understood this for and as themselves that are walking the exact same process.

 

Will I lose my individuality in an Equal Money System – Will everyone be the same?

25 Tuesday Oct 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Okategoriserade

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni Store, Desteni Wiki, Destonian, Equal Money System, Individuality, Individuality in an Equal Money System, Unique personality

To answer this question we will look at two common misconceptions in relation to the definition of individuality in an Equal Money System and in general. Let’s first have a look at Equality and how it is currently defined.

What is Equality?

Equality does not mean that everyone is exactly the same and has to be treated as such. Equality means that we a here as equals. Equality is how everyone and everything on Earth essentially consist of the same molecules and the same atoms. Therefore we are all, by definition –and in the most practical sense – Equal. This does not mean that we in a system based on actual Equality must treat the rat the same as the pig or the mountains the same as the rainforest in order to “adhere” to this Equality.

Realize that; we already ARE equal by the fact that we ARE all Equally Here on this planet and that the Equality we live, as the wholeness of us all, is the oneness that is the entirety of life on earth.

Currently that Equality and Oneness – the “who we are” as a whole – is a world that is unequal, abusive, self-destructive and deceptive. Human beings reign though a self-delusion that they are superior beings and all other life-forms including the  animals has long been “bent” at our hands. So even though we are equal, we do not live as such. We live as  life  in competition with itself over who gets to be the dominant species or who gets to survive. And one only has to take one self-honest look at this world to realize that: no one wins.

The horse is one of the animals that has been the most “bent” in terms of how human beings have captured and bedridden it to be used for labor, transport and later leisure as well.  Horses subsequently have come to accept themselves as slaves or subjects to human beings. (To explain why horses do that, it is easy to imagine how life becomes more comfortable once one accept one’s situation as enslaved rather than continue to fight it with no hopes of getting free.)  So the horse accepts it and even goes to the length of supporting the human being unconditionally, of forming a sort of mutual relationship with the humans.

Now – the horse is still enslaved – this is the reality we must face and take responsibility for. They have as an entire race as a unique expression of life that is their “horse-ness” submitted themselves to human beings, believing and accepting themselves to be inferior. Thus Equality does not mean that we will suddenly let all the horses out of their stables and let them roam free. In fact it means to take all and everything into equal consideration where we consider how absolute Equality is possible from the perspective of establishing an equal relationship here that is best for all considering the current nature of reality.

We cannot expect that the horse can take equal responsibility for us immediately from the get-go. Its ability to respond within its current “state of nature” is simply not equipped for such a task. We, on the other hand, are able to consider both the horse and ourselves and we must thus begin considering everything from the horses height, weight, background and temper and look at how we can establish an equal relationship, from the perspective of how reality is here and now. Then it is simply a matter of seeing where and how we can stop existing in a relationship of enslavement, for example where we force the horse or whip it into obedience even though it is not necessary. Eventually the horse might simply follow us willingly through there being established a form of communication wherein both parties are equally participating. Yet this communication is still taking the current nature of reality into consideration.

This is why we at Desteni say that “We’re all equally fucked”. This refers to the fact that we’re all in the same boat so to speak – everyone is influenced by the actions of each other. If the Earth as a whole is in bad shape, because of what we as humans have allowed ourselves to create and exist as, it does in fact influence all of us, even though some are not directly experiencing the consequences at this current time. It also means that we are then all equally responsible for changing what is here. No parts are separate from the whole and so we walk a process of bring ourselves back to living as equals.

At the moment we cannot even comprehend the extent to which we have allowed our oneness and Equality that is this one earth and all the life on it and as it, to exist in and as inequality and separation. We cannot even comprehend what actual Equality means. Walking to a point of absolute Equality will take time within and as practically and physically changing what is here as relationships of separation into equal living expressions.

What is Individuality?

It is important to realize that the individuality that most people perceive to be “who”  they are as their “unique” personality, is in fact generic and pre-programmed patterns that we’ve copied from our parents as they have from theirs and more general physiological “profiles” of which there is a limited nr. This is why people often can meet others that seem like they have a similar mind-set. So – as we currently exist, there is no real individuality. There is however a mutual pre-programmed belief that we ARE individual, original and unique. However if one starts to investigate this, for example comparing one generation to another or one period in time to another, one will see that it is merely history repeating itself in various constellations. The individuality we perceive to be “who” we are is thus Impulsed into us by the very system, in which we are created and designed as generic copies. The system we speak of here is not specific individuals, but the actual system itself as it is manifested in and as this world as the collective agreement of all of us that we have given permission to manage our lives – the money-system.

We’ve created a reality of separation, where we exist as subjects to a competitive money-system, where all is supposed to fight each other to survive. We perceive ourselves as a-part from all other parts that is here as life and because we fear loosing ourselves, the system can keep feeding us  which we want to hear; that we are special, unique, “the one” and what cashes in: the system.

An example of “individuality” as it is perceived to exist:

Everyone buys their clothes in the same shops. There are huge chains like Top shop, GAP and H&M, where people go to “purchase their individuality” and as they walk around and try on the clothes, they perceive themselves as individuals expressing their unique point of views. But in the end everyone walks out of the store with the exact same clothes, yet everyone has a “feeling” that this represents “who” they are.

So we buy and shop and decorate our houses, our bodies, our children and our relationships, to display “our point of view” or “uniqueness”. We say stuff like; “in my opinion” or “everyone is special” all the while we don’t realize that we’re all being Impulsed to purchase “who we are” in fear of losing who we perceive ourselves to be.

The current money-system is thus – ironically – set up to support us to live like endless copies. Oneness becomes monopolies and Equality becomes that we are all consumers.

So – Will I lose my individuality in an Equal Money System – will everyone be the same?

In the Equal Money System, we will actually for the first time, regain a point of individual expression because who we are will not be determined by money. Through re-educating ourselves to understand the reality we’ve created for and as ourselves and to learn to take self-responsibility, we can actually start living as individual expressions – and discover who we really are, under the generic pre-programming to fit into and survive in the system of inequality.

The Equal Money System supports everyone equally and when each exists according to what is Best for All, it subsequently means that their life-experience is the best it can be as well. Therefore each will finally be able to do the things that we love the most.

Think of all the musicians and artists, who’s only dream is to do what they love all day, but who has been forced to do wage-labor to survive and has to settle to call their passion in life “a hobby” – they will finally be able to live out their dream. Because their basic needs will be cared for – by the equal system set up by all as a whole in agreement. They no longer have to fear for their survival or fight and compete with others to survive in this world. Others might even realize that they have other talents or dreams than they could have ever imagined about themselves. Because each finally has the opportunity to be self-honest and to start expressing oneself unconditionally without fear. THAT is real individuality. And it is facilitated by a system that is based on equal support of all.

So everyone will not be the same in an Equal Money System. In fact, everyone is the same now. They’ve simply diluted themselves into a collective agreement that everyone is unique, simply to keep the motors of the money-system running through their having to shop their personalities and individualities to “feel whole.”

In fearing to lose one’s individuality and thereby opposing an equal money system, one is in fact holding onto oneself as a copy and a slave to a one-dimensional system of inequality and abuse – one is in fact being a slave of fear and that is the “individuality” that one is trying to preserve. Have a look: it is all in reverse.

When we realize that we already are whole – that we have nothing to lose, that we cannot possibly lose ourselves, we can start exploring, discovering and expanding ourselves in actual individuality. As the horse has expression as “horse-ness”, each of us has an expression of “us-ness” and at the same time, all expressions are possible and available for us to “try on for size” – because in an Equal Money System, there is no longer categories that determine who get’s to do or be what. There are no longer unequal education systems, where some actually get an education and others get none. Everyone will have an equal starting-point of existing here valued and dignified as life.

More on individuality in an Equal Money System see these links below: 

A New Individuality for New ALLitics, a New World

Individuality, Free Choice & Equal Money

Will You Lose Individuality in an Equal Money System? pt1

Will You Lose Individuality in an Equal Money System? pt2

Letting go of Giving up.

22 Monday Aug 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Anna Brix Thomsen, Cleaning Oven, desteni research, EMS, Equal Money System, Giving up, Giving up on myself, guru, Stamina, technical

Today I am giving myself the gift of a new beginning

I am letting go of Giving up.

I moved to a new country and today and last night I packed up my apartment and as I was cleaning the oven, I also got to clean the pan that the belonged in the oven. It was filled with old crusts and burned stuff from the food that had been cooked in it. I am not sure if it looked like that when I bought it about a month ago or whether it is the food I have cooked in it, that made it that dirty – but fact of the matter was that it was very dirty and I had not cleaned it since I had gotten the oven.

I started scrubbing the pan and had to put a lot of hand-muscle into it, It felt like I was getting nowhere and the entire pan was covered in crusts that were stuck and hard to scrape off – quickly thoughts started popping up of “well… I could just stop now.” – “perhaps it was not me who made it this dirty and therefore it is not my responsibility to clean it”.

As I was standing there with the choice of whether or not to clean the pan or leave it, I started looking at the pattern within this of how easily it is for me to give up on a point or on myself, if I find the task at hand too much or too painful.

I realized that I have basically created a pattern of giving up and more specifically, of allowing myself to give up, of justifying to myself giving up, of giving up within the justification that the task at hand is simply too impossible for me to complete. It was cool to see this in perspective, because I did in deed experience this towards this pan and looked at it as though it was an entirely impossible task and that I would never get it clean.

So in that moment, I decided to push through and stop this pattern and simply clean the pan. So I started scrubbing and I scrubbed and scrubbed – lol – until my fingers were stiff and aching. But the pan became clean and I did not stop until it was done. So I give up on giving up – I let go of giving up and I give myself the gift of starting over.

Momentum

17 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

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Tags

Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni Cult, Desteni I Process, Equal Money System, Moment, Momentum, Time, Time Management

Today I painted my kitchen. I enjoyed it quite a lot, moving from one point to another in a logically laid out structure. I painted white on white so it was not entirely easy to see where I had already painted, thus I worked with blocking as I painted.

It is a small kitchen so it was quite quickly done and  I realized that more than 4 hours had gone by, yet it felt like 3o min. This was because it was one moment, the entire process of painting – I started in one corner and did not stop or finish until I had painted all the walls, the corners and the ceiling. It is a cool point – entering a moment and completing it full circle, because often when I wake up, most often, I’ll start “seeing” this stretched out future-time, either the day in front of me, the week or even an abstract idea of “the future”.

This sort of “looking a head” is never very effective. The “inner” justification is that this “looking on” is, if not required, at least assisting in planning and executing the tasks at hand, yet most often when I “look at the future”, I am actually looking from a starting-point of self-delusion because I am “seeing” something that is not here and thus the “on-look” within which I am watching, is not here either and is thus not real. What is even more freaky is that in doing so, I am basically laying an artificial path before as I’ve limited myself to seeing this Here moment according to my delusional “vision” of “what is to come”.

When I painted the kitchen, I did not require much pre-thinking or planning, mostly because I trusted myself in having painted enough times to know – to know that I know what to do. Interesting. I did not even start in one corner or with even lines – I started in the middle of a wall, a “natural spot” – it was where I was standing and I started working from there.

What also is with painting my kitchen is that it is here, accessible, practical and physical. There’s no personal or ego based associations or relationships projected towards the point of painting, or the one’s that are, are too subtle to be controlling the point – so I simply paint. It does not require anything else from me, than to move myself physically from spot to spot – breath to breath and at some point, I am done. That moment is completed and I can move into or enter or embrace a new moment – perhaps painting  a new room.

But when I lay out a future, in which I plan to walk in, I am 5 or 10 steps a head of myself, which is not physically possible and thereby and within that, I’ve trapped myself in a artificial reality of mind.

This is what so many people around the world do, every moment of every day of their life – it is what advertisement preys  on, why people get married and divorced in a never-ending cycle, why we look back one day and realize that 5, 10 or 20 years have passed us in what seemed to be a moment – ironically, because we were existing in an artificial projection of the future and thus never actually Here, in the moment that is Here, the actual reality of “where” and “who” we are.

Let me tell you a secret about ‘Hard Work’ and ‘Easy Living’…

05 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

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Tags

Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, desteni research, Easy Living, EMS, guru, Hard Work, Secret, Secrets

Purification of Self in and as “hard work”

When I was four years old, I clearly remember a situation where I was forced  by the care-takers on my kindergarten to knit a key chain. I resisted every moment of it. The point for them, was to teach me to sit down and do something, because I was always on the move, always moving around. It was a sort of signature of my childhood.

Actually I felt uncomfortable when I sat down and did nothing or specifically when I had to do something that took effort and time. I saw it as a waste of time. I felt trapped. This has basically become a way of living for me, because ever since, I have resisted doing that which I am not good at and specifically that which takes time, patience and dedication. I have for several years had a theory that it is about me running away from myself, existing as a propelling forward and when  I stop, I am faced with myself. It has become a way of surviving through suppressing myself here. This is why it is so assisting for me to discipline myself, structure myself and to work consistently with a project until it is done.

I have chickened out of facing myself directly, in silence and in “simply being here” as well as in the point of dedicatedly learning a skill. With the excuse of this being “boring”, “hard work” and that I am “inadequate” to do it. I have never allowed myself to learn anything that took a long time to learn and that was difficult. I have had a direct aversion against such points – actually fear.

When I was a child I wanted to learn how to knit and when I heard about the “obligations” of what it required, I lost interest in it. This is but one example of the many, many points I have started only to quit immediately as I realized that it would take effort to succeed within and become effective at.

When looking at it now, I feared being enslaved to the point of knitting – the commitment of it and I also feared walking the process. I was also simply lazy – I did not want to put in the work. I wanted everything ready here and now and if it was not, I feared missing out. It is this propelling forward point again – more, faster, quicker. And in this it has been about consuming the world, gaining or about impressing others – not about the joy of knitting itself – or that is what my initial starting-point was, but I dismissed myself within that. In fact I have dismissed myself this entire time.

Self-Forgiveness and investigation on the point of resisting “Hard Work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being alone with myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to feel uncomfortable when I am alone with myself without a point of stimulation

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that being “with” myself indicates that I have perceived myself as separate from myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from myself and within doing so perceive myself as either with or without myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to be without myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive myself as “with” myself, only because I have created a point of separation as being “without” myself

I experience fear because I am not satisfied with my realizations in writing. I want more.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to get back to how I was writing before

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect more of myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect less of myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to condition, define, judge and perceive myself according to the past

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compare myself to how I perceive myself in the past

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compete with a past image and self-definition of and as myself

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to push through the resistance towards writing myself out in self-honesty and I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make excuses, justifications and for having deceived and manipulated myself through thoughts and emotions to give up on myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept fear as my friend and protector

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe, define and experience the experience of fear as energy and a knot in my stomach as a signal that there is danger a-head, when in fact all there is, is the mind and how I either accept myself as the mind or not

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to write as compared to an image of myself from the past and thereby and within that condition myself, separate myself from myself here

I write Here – I am Here – I will not allow myself to compete because I do not accept winning and losing as the premise for my existence as it has proven itself useless.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist writing based on a resistance towards walking process to the end within and as an expectation of process to be “long and hard”

It was exactly the same as when I was child and wanted to learn to play guitar, knit, play handball and other points – I gave up immediately within looking at the prospects of the process of actually learning the skills. I have used this pattern and/personality to give up on myself in this process. It is the same when I have looked at the SF required to stop the mind and start birthing self as life and when I have looked at the MC – it looked “too hard” – that it was going to “take too long”. And I have refused to face myself in this because I have been ashamed that this is who I really am – lazy and a coward.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame my mother for having allowed me to become a lazy coward

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to abdicate myself in and as having allowed myself to become a lazy coward by abdicating self-responsibility and projecting the responsibility for me having allowed myself to become a lazy coward onto my mother

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge and define myself as a lazy coward

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to take the point of being a lazy coward personally, instead of realizing that it is a specific personality-construct in the general self-enslavement and separation that I have allowed myself to be and become

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up on myself immediately upon facing a point that is not easy for me to excel in and which I have to practice patiently and consistently before seeing the results I want

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist as impatience

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear and resist that which I cannot easily control or direct

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to excel only in that which I already found easy

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist within and as a constant state of self-abdication and giving up on myself

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that when I said no to learning knitting, I was in fact giving up on myself within not wanting to waste time learning a skill

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and fear that I would be wasting time by learning a skill or dedicating myself to learning something

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear missing out of something else, were I to commit myself to a specific project or point

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to regret and feel disappointed in myself for not having allowed myself to dedicate myself to learn a skill or dedicate myself to a point

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to be everywhere at once and for fearing to tie myself to one point or one expression and thereby missing out on others – instead of realizing that it is within this fear and desire that I have enslaved myself already

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear not being good at something

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the experience of not knowing how to direct or solve a point

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deliberately resist points of difficulty because of the experience I had when faced with such points

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create, manifest and participate in an experience of inferiority towards that which I do not already know how to do and therefore avoid doing it to not have to feel inferior

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear not being in control of my reality and therefore having deliberately avoided all points I did not quickly understand so to hold my “head above water” at all times and not risk “drowning” – instead of realizing that by allowing myself to be directed by fear, to suppress myself, to resist facing myself, to restraint and limit myself to follow this fear, I was in fact “drowning” in not allowing myself to expand

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify to myself not pushing through the fear and resistance to learn something that requires dedication, time and patience, by believing it to be a waste of time and by devaluating it

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to waste so much of my life resisting that which I find difficult instead of pushing through the point and pushing myself to learn until I am self-directed within the specific point at hand

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist learning and expanding myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see and define learning as a waste of time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist as a waste of time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create a positive self-defined personality of being against the system, specifically within and as, in relation to going to school and learning – and I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use that as an excuse for not facing myself within and as the fear of that which I am not already good at or that which I find easy already

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear hard work

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of fearing hard work

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see myself with the eyes of others and within that judge myself as a spoiled, ungrateful brat – instead of realizing that it is purely me seeing myself as such

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to give myself a chance to learn something

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to be patient with myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to excel and thus refuse all and anything where I did not immediately excel

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear hard work within and as perceiving hard work as enslaving and thereby misunderstanding the point of enslavement in this world, which is not the work itself but the system within which it exists and who and what we are within that

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist and avoid hard work because it is hard

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist and avoid all and everything that I perceive as “hard” or “difficult”

I Forgive myself that I have never Accepted and Allowed myself to live and express the expression of pushing through resistance fully and unconditionally

I Forgive myself that I have never Accepted and Allowed myself to live and express myself in and as the expression of stamina

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define, accept, perceive and judge myself as “someone without a spine”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to want life to be easy, enjoyful and fun, but without wanting to do the work to ensure this

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up immediately on myself when something is not as easy as I want it to be

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive, see and define “hard work” as negative.

Through this writing I have been wondering where this point originates from – because it is clearly to do with the word “hard work” and specifically in relation to that work, I see how I defined and perceived my mom as hard working and all I saw was how she was tired and enslaved to this work, how it was fucking up her body and how we were both compromised because of it. So that explains somewhat my aversion against “hard work”.  But this is only one layer of the point, because the point of refusing to dedicate and discipline myself is not about that. It is interesting how my schooling was actually supporting the point. Often with these points however there is a specific memory or trauma that has triggered this specific behavior, but I cannot identify it. I remember this point as I mentioned already as far back as 4 years old. So it might have emerged even before that, as a “who I am”.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate “hard work” with the memory of my mother working at the eldery home when I was a small child and how she hated the work and her own experience of herself at the time

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to limit, condition and enslave myself to define, perceive, judge and experience hard works as negative and bad associated to how I saw my mother when I was a child.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from ‘hard work’ as persistent application and pushing through in working in and as the physical

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear becoming my mother within and as her experience of herself as I perceived her when I was a child –and therefore and thereby having resisted, refused and avoided all I perceived as possibly being “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved, losing myself, being in pain, being bored, having to compromise myself were I to do “hard work” OR do something which I do not find enjoyable or easy.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to enslave and limit myself to only be motivated and only move myself to do that which I already perceive as fun and easy

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate working dedicated and patiently and which required pushing and discipline and consistently with “hard work” and because I perceived “hard work” as negative, I did not allow myself to work as such.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved and trapped if I am to do that which I have perceived, defined and judged as“hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear losing myself if I do that which I have perceived, defined and judged as“hard work” “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, define, judge and experience all actions and work that is not immediately fun and easy as “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resent “hard work” because I resent what “it did” to my mother, instead of realizing that it was not the work that “did it” to my mother, but my mother who allowed herself to feel enslaved and miserable

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the existence of “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resent that there exists such a thing as “hard work”

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate “hard work” with men working in a coal mine or children working with rocks as slaves and Chinese factory workers that work 24/7

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being enslaved to hard work

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear facing “hard work” as it exists as that which we as humans are forced to do, where we directly abuse and deteriorate the body

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept the existence of “hard work” as it exists as abuse and exploitation

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that much of the comforts and pleasures that I can enjoy are a direct result of someone else’s “hard work” in which they’re enslaved and forced to work to survive and abuse themselves in order to survive – and I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that the comfort I have been able to enjoy is directly made possible by the fact that others are working as slaves to survive

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to face myself within and as the implications of “hard work” in and as this world and why it exists the way it does – as a direct consequence of the capitalistic system of inequality

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist deliberately in ignorance of the suffering of those that “work hard” because they have no choice and who’s working-conditions are fucked so that others can feel and be rich.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear and resist an refuse to face myself within and as the inequality in which “hard work” exists

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself for having allowed myself to exist within and as justifying inequality through deliberate ignorance and self-deception

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having allowed myself to exist within and as justifying inequality through deliberate ignorance and self-deception

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify myself within and as deliberately ignoring inequality and abuse within and as “hard work” as it exists in and as this world, through the desire to live an easy and comfortable life

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having justified abuse and suffering through the desire to live an easy and comfortable life

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame myself for having deliberately ignored suffering as dismissible and not concerning me

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that within and as resisting, denying and fearing “hard work”, I was in fact fearing myself as the manifestation of deliberate abuse and inequality as exploitation through capitalism that I have accepted and allowed myself to  be and become as well as the cowardice through which I have “tackled” this point by sticking my head in the sand and making all kinds of excuses as to why I should not face this suffering, abuse and inequality directly and within self-responsibility

I stand one and equal with and as the abuse that I have allowed through justifying inequality and within that exploitation as “hard work” of some for the benefit of others.

I do not want to live in a world, where some are forced to allow themselves to be abused and exploited in order to exist and where others are deliberately ignoring the fact that their comfort and pleasure and easy living is only made possible by the suffering of others.

Re-definition of “hard work”

My personal interpretation of “hard work” is related to the idea of “hard work” within and as the society, where “hard work” on one hand is considered admirable and honorable and on the other side “hard”. “hard work” is within this also associated to someone who is dedicated, pushing forward and who has stamina – perhaps even initially referring to physical workers, but transmuted into all areas of work and study : “she was a hard-worker” – is a positive expression. So one side of it, does in fact refer to the enslavement of working, referring to physically hard labor. And the other side is referring to a character-trait with a person. I’ve then created a mixed version of the word.

But: to redefine the work, it makes no sense that being dedicated and pushing oneself is defined as “hard” – so I see no reason that this word requires to keep existing, except for referring to physically strenuous labor that requires physical strength. That is the common sense definition that is not polarized.

The point in relation to me here, is more referring to the act of someone pushing themselves through an activity that is not necessarily easy and the motion of pushing in itself as well. But I would like to all that something else.

I do not yet have a specific word for this but I know exactly what it means.

I dedicate myself to push through this and to not accept myself to limit myself to perceiving specific work a specific way.

AS LONG AS IT TAKES – WHAT EVER IT TAKES – UNTIL IT IS DONE

This is my new motto of application.

‘Easy Living’ is not supposed to be at the expense of others – In fact that is not cool or acceptable in any way what so ever. Easy Living is supposed to be easy because it is enjoyable for all. Because no one is forced to work or to abuse themselves to survive.

Vote for an Equal Money System – For a Dignified Life for All.

Change the nature of self from self-denial to self-dignity. 

Self-Empowerment and Expansion with Desteni

17 Friday Jun 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

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Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, Equal Money For All, Equal Money System, Happiness, Make your dreams come true, Personality, Preferences, self-empowerment, Self-Transformation, Sucess, Trancendence, Trancending ego

Katy Perry – A Mainstream Misogynist? (OR: Why I am becoming a Feminist) PART 2

15 Wednesday Jun 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

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abuse, Anna Brix Thomsen, Bootycall, Celebrities, Desteni I Process, Equal Money System, Feminism, Katy Perry, Katy Perry: ET, Kayne West, Men, Misogynism in music, Misogynist, Popstars, sex, Sex Education, Sexy girls, Song lyrics, Superstars, Teenager, The Music Industry, Women

These writings are not those of a typical feminist – because I am writing not only from a critical view, but also as a form of catharsis, as a self-awakening from a heavy nightmare, into which I have ridden myself in the acceptance and condolence of abuse towards women and are now slowly opening my eyes while adjusting the brightness of seeing what is Here. So this is me rising myself – not rising against men or in defense of women. I am simply Here to speak that which has remained unspoken within and as myself and within and as this world. Within this article I am thus drawing from own observations and experiences as well as analyzing specific cultural and sociological traits relevant to gain an understanding of why women submit themselves willingly to the abuse and degradation by men and why we accept ourselves as societies and culture that does not honor or dignify ourselves as life. Let’s begin:

The other night a couple of girls were having a party at house next to mine. They were preparing themselves to go out clubbing and from my window, I could see how they were dressing themselves, putting on make-up and getting drunk, meanwhile music was playing with a thumbing bass out the window. I noticed that most of the songs they were listening to were these techno/house tracks with male singers and with lyrics sounding like “eat my ass bitch” in a monotone and generic fashion or it was female singers with lyrics such as “I wanna give it up to you”. I then embarked on researching this point a little further as I found it to be interesting and fascinating how these women were listening to music that was clearly degrading and misogynistic as though it was actually empowering.

Here were these girls, partying as ‘single women’, with ‘their own money’, ‘beautiful and free’ – for example compared to their great grandmothers, who were slave bound to kitchens, not allowed to vote, considered dumb and irrational simply for being a women or if we compare them to women in other cultures that do not have their own money, education or the cultural freedom to express themselves, for example sexually.  And still they were listening to degrading abusive music with male voices singing to them to get ‘get on your knees’ or the infamous “eat my ass bitch” as though it were a celebration of life. When I placed myself in their shoes, their immediate and conscious experience of themselves were as ‘power-women’ – I mean, that was the game they were playing. “We’re players” “Women can be players as well” – and even though that is true, I can say from personal experience that this is also a matter of joining them, because you can’t beat them – and in this case it is the male dominant culture, where women are valuable and valuing themselves as objects for the attraction of men and where men are supposed to be tough and brutal, seen, defined and perceived as the ominous “Cool”.

“…see whore you’re the kinda girl that I’da
Assault and rape and figure why not try to make your pussy wider
Fuck you with an umbrella then open it up while that shits inside ya”

Eminem in the song “Stay Wide Awake”

Jackson Katz, an anti-sexism activist writer describes it in these words:

“Is it truly possible that women’s lives have been so thoroughly devalued that {Eminem}  a multi-platinum musical artist with nine Grammy awards to his name can sing multiple songs about raping and mutilating women and hip sophisticates can’t even bring themselves to utter the words “woman-hating?”[1]

Yes – it is most certainly possible, which the story above clearly exemplifies. Because when not only men degrade women, but when women also degrade themselves and when children are brought up to an implicitly immanent misogynistic culture – how can we expect ourselves to live any differently? There is this collective delusion in the wealthiest countries, that women have become liberated (hell that men have become liberated as well) – all conjured up in a comparison to cultures of past times, which apparently makes us liberated because we’re no longer stuck slaving in kitchens, carrying children on our arms and now instead can slave for cash at McDonalds or Wendy’s. And obviously women can get abortions and divorces, but how exactly that’s ‘liberating’, remains the question.

So back to the story of the girls next door. As I placed myself in their shoes, I saw that they were, behind the roles of ‘liberated power women’ who are ‘playing the game’, insecure, self-conscious human beings who were doing what they were doing specifically with the purpose of getting a man, either to have sex with or to love and hold – in both cases, for reproductive intentions.

How do I know this? I have been there and have done it myself. As a woman going out clubbing, your primary asset and value is your looks which has to meet specific standards or preferences. So these girls were constantly going from the living room where they were partying to the bedroom, both of which I could see from my window – to put make-up on and check their reflection. Some of the girls did this many times, many 10 or 20 times during the night of 4-5 hours before they were going out. And these girls were normal, standard, good-looking girls as one would imagine such. There was nothing out of the ordinary about them – and they would check their reflection in a certain way – with critical, sharp eyes of either approval or disapproval. And in the back-ground of the mind, the image of a man accepting them, loving them, feeding them with attention (or money and drinks) were constantly running like a movie in their head. They were drinking heavily as well, which people do to ‘uplift their spirits’ – basically to push beyond their own boundaries so that they become able to speak, dance, flirt and have sex.

As a girl and woman listening to this music, the ‘eat my ass bitch’ from before, the experience is that of being empowered, of being strong, invincible and specifically that of being a part of the male (superior) environment, showing the males that we can ‘match them’ and that we’re not whiny little sissies that can’t keep our liqueur sort of thing – is the psychology behind this point. I realized something fascinating a while back in relation to this point: that men do not specifically want woman to ‘match them’, meaning to be tough or strong – many men has a fantasy about a feminine, fragile virgin-like girl to whom they can either ravage or cherish or both, quite like many women has a fantasy about a beast of a man who fittingly ravages her or cherishes her like a delicate flower or both.

So this specific point is about women matching and attempting to empower themselves through matching the degrading nature of a male-dominant society – it is a quite strange application of self-empowerment. Yet – if we as women have seen men and what men represent and present themselves as, as free, empowered and self-authoritative, then that becomes our aim for empowering ourselves – because in a male dominated society, there are no alternatives. And I am not speaking here about strictly of male-dominant as being run by males – more that it is specific characteristics connected with being male that are predominant and valued as such amongst all members of society, whether it degrades and enslaves them or not. So in terms of the discussion about the male-dominant society, it might as well be a man that is degraded and enslaved by, to fulfill a role by putting on a suit or pumping iron or suppressing himself and his self-expression.

So the topic here is not physical men vs. physical woman. That is exactly seen in how women, when attempting to empower themselves, will end up doing exactly the opposite. That is because our entire society and the systems within which we manage our lives, our bodies and our minds – are male-dominant. In this specific case, it is women who have actively taken upon themselves to enslave themselves and degrade themselves through participating in the degrading of women through music, fashion and social behavior – as though it was in fact empowering.

Women (or men) don’t have an alternative to empower themselves –and power in this current system is equivalent with brutality, abuse cynicism, ego and self-interest. Thus we’re Impulsed to shape and form ourselves as personalities in relation to this definition of power, which is why many relationships will exist within a reversed constellation where the woman dominates the man in exactly the same way as a man would have dominated a woman.

Therefore – it is time to give ourselves an alternative. Obviously in order to do so, we first of all have to understand how we’ve defined power, worth and value as it is – so that we can start redefining what power, worth and value is and should be, when it is no longer abusive and unequal.

You can read more about this in the article, where I wrote about the enslavement of reproduction, and I will return to this in coming articles. I will also continue with investigating the male perspective in this, where males become equally enslaved to and within the point of degrading and abusing women and thus degrading and abusing themselves. For now I will remain with this point of how woman are trapped in a self-degrading and inverted chauvinism that is expressed through the example of music.

We shall here take a look at and analyze a brand this Katy Perry song. Katy Perry did most likely not write this song, yet I am deliberately referring to it as such, because 1) there is a communal pretense that money-making-mainstream-music –performers DO write their own material and 2) because Katy Perry does let this song represent her – she is singing it  – it is “a Katy Perry song”. I shall not analyze the entire song here, merely highlight some fascinating expressions that show how the acceptance of abuse towards women, is Impulsed and groomed into us via mainstream music that pretends to be innocent and harmless via it’s glossy exterior and it’s Disney- meets-Demon-like front-figures.

The song from Perry’s most recent album appropriately called “Teenage Dreams” is called E.T and  it circles around the theme of Katy falling in love with an alien man. (Katy Perry, who got married to another celebrity, notorious playboy Russel Brand in an spiritual ceremony in India last year)

The song starts with a rap intro by the infamous Kayne West that lays the foundation for the perspective of the song presented as a ‘boyish’ tease, like the constant chase on the playground where the boys pull the girls pigtails and the girls scream. Yet – this is not children or teenagers who are presenting this – they are adult, successful artists with large audiences specifically in the segment of children and teenagers. And behind the boyish teasing, is a far more cynical and brutal truth about this and these types of songs and artists. The topic of why adult artists are making music targeted towards children within creating an entire ‘world’ around them as a fairytale, is another story for another time. Take a look at the lyrics here. This is the fantasy man that Katy Perry in these lyric’s dream universe is feverishly submitting herself to:

K[Kanye West]
“I got a dirty mind
I got filthy ways
I’m tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way
I’m a legend, I’m irreverent
I be reverand
I be so fa-a-ar up, we don’t give a f-f-f-f-ck
Welcome to the danger zone
Step into the fantasy
You are now invited to the other side of sanity
They calling me an alien
A big headed astronaut
Maybe it’s because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot”

So first Kayne calls himself a ‘reverend’ meaning the man who speaks the word of god to the clergy or the following of a specific church and later goes on to complimenting Katy for making him ‘the big man he is’ by him having anal sex with her. To that Katy Perry answers:

[Katy Perry]
“You’re so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel

Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing.”

Here Katy are referring to the energetic reactions attached and played out – to which many people are addicted – between man and woman. The “electric” spark that is experienced. Here Katy has associated this to a specific man, a special man – that thus makes it even more intense. The man is thus placed on a pedestal sending the signal that such a man could exist, but also within polarizing and idealizing him to such a degree, she herself becomes implicitly inferior and irrelevant.

“They say be afraid
You’re not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA

They don’t understand you”

There is here an entire topic on it’s own with the references to aliens and spirituality, which I will not discuss in this article, but merely mention as a point to consider critically.

“Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I’m ready to go
Lead me into the light”

This is a clear reference to the biblical “god” and the man is in this fantasy now uplifted to the status of a god.

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison”

Love is referred to as an infection and sperm as a poison which is from a certain perspective quite accurate, but the point that follows through her is the point of submitting oneself to abuse, to the desire and want to be abused, which clearly can be seen in the lyrics below:

“Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
”

The rest of the song goes on repeatedly in the same fashion and upon investigating more of the current music listened to specifically by teenagers and adolescents, these type of lyrics are not uncommon – quite the contrary. So the question is then if this is merely harmless wordplay or mating-games within a fantasy that is not supposed to be lived out into reality and if the average adolescent is so desensitized from seeing and hearing about rough sex that they do not take something like this seriously. Or if the desensitization is actually something that this music is indicative of, where we as human beings abdicate self-dignity and the ability to see others as equals and thus come to believe that we either have the right to treat others as objects or that we are no more worth than the objects we use without care.

I have as a woman – but even more so relevant, as a human being in this world, desensitized myself to abuse and suffering, to the abuse and suffering inflicted upon my own human physical body as well as the abuse and suffering within and as this world. I have found it easier to submit myself, because I believed and accepted that standing up was impossible – my world left me no alternatives. Yet when everybody says this, does this, creates this – we end up with a world of self-abdicated beings who are abusing each other and all claiming their freedom from responsibility.

I have realized for myself that the extend to which I have desensitized myself from what is here, specifically as suffering and abuse, is what has allowed it to escalate – because if it is not me, I cannot feel it, if it is not happening to me, I am not responsible, If I do not see it, I am not here as it.

I have realized that the extend to which I have desensitized myself is so vast that I require a total re-education of myself to actually re-learn how to care – not only about the world, about other life-forms and people, but equally about myself. Because self-abdication in all its various compromises is the self-degradation of separation that I have willingly submitted myself to.

Separation = Self-Abdication

When we return to the girls across the street in the house who were partying and getting ready to go out, they are themselves responsible for what they are doing – – they might even experience that nagging feeling of “why am I doing this, why am I compromising myself like this?” and then they look around and there is no alternative and everyone is doing the same and if they don’t do this they wont get a man and if they don’t get a man they stand no chance at getting that perfect life or at least surviving so that their genes can be transferred and they may live forever through the generations to come … WTF?

Is that the kind of human beings we want to bring into this world, continuously without end? Is surviving more important than being able to exist in self-dignity without being abused or abusing others? Unfortunately we have been programmed and have programmed ourselves to believe and accept this to be true to the extend where the this is infused into and as our bodies so that the mind sends an energetic surge or shock through the body a signal that it is time to get to work, to get that ass on the dance floor and mate at all costs and at any price – because the survival of the human species is our sole purpose in this world.  And within that single point of self-abdication, have we collectively as men and women – as human beings – submitted ourselves to exist within and as the honoring of abuse instead of life, of being entertained by the suffering of others and in believing that the continuous enslavement of ourselves, is what freedom looks, feels and smells like – there at the bottom of the human physical body that has become the object of our blind devotion. We have truly become assholes of our own demise.

I am walking the Desteni ‘I’ Process to end all of this – within myself as within the world as a whole. I realize that I first must re-learn myself to take self-responsibility, to live dignified and principled, to not compromise or abuse myself, mentally or physically – to not submit myself to ideas or preprogrammed definitions about who I should be or what I should enjoy or desire or dislike. I realize that I have never really cared and even if I did, the world does not even facilitate human begins that do care.

This is not a world for human beings that care about life – and at Desteni, this is what we’re here to change – with the Desteni ‘I’ Process as the first step of self towards self-dignity and care for self as life and with The Equal Money System as the first step of humanity standing together as a group to Dignify All Life in Equality – so that we many bring forth a heaven on earth through the self-forgiveness and purification of abuse so that we may start trusting ourselves and each other to express and apply ourselves in real care and compassion for life.

Join us if you’re ready to unveil the world as we unveil ourselves – to stand up in self-dignity and to prepare the way for ourselves to embark on a journey of re-discovery of ourselves as sovereignty in self-exploration, expansion and equality with and as all life.


[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jackson-katz/eminem-misogyny-and-the-s_b_211677.html

 http://www.elyricsworld.com/e.t_%28feat_kanye_west%29_lyrics_katy_perry.html

Sex Workers – They’re Lovin’ it?

12 Sunday Jun 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

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abuse, Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni I Process, Economy, EMS, Equal Money System, Exploitation, Prostitutes, Sex Trafficking, Sex Workers, The Happy Prostitute

SEXY flesh-factories – or: How we’re all wearing the emperor’s new clothes

06 Monday Jun 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Vixen's Process Blog

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A Perfect Life, Amazing Sex, Anna Brix Thomsen, Desteni I Process, Equal Money System, Finding Love, love, relationship, sex, Sex Experiences, The One, The Perfect Life, The Perfect Man, The Perfect Woman, True Love

A veil is being ripped from my eyes – it is an astounding experience, as something I have always taken for granted as real and valuable, is suddenly revealing itself as fake through and through. It is even more astounding to see now how obvious it is that it was fake and that I have been existing for all this time on a complete lie.

I have been living a lie, together with everyone else in this world and the lie that I am talking about is: The Lie of Giving Life – The Lie of Reproduction – The Lie of Family – Relationships – Beauty – Love – and Sex.

As I am slowly ripping the veil from my eyes, I walk in my daily participation and see everything as had I gotten brand new eyes and trying them on for size or as am I seeing everything for the first time, yet still too bright and blurry. I am aware that even still what I am seeing now – is but another layer, another veil and that it requires a total unveiling – a brutal, self-honest unveiling of all delusions and illusions about what Life is.

Basically how it works is that I participate in my reality, read the news or listen to someone speak on the street or experience something within and as me and it shows me yet another point where what I believed were real, true and valuable turns out to be yet another point of deception.

What I have realized is this:

The entire world of fashion, healthcare, dating, drinking, having children, buying houses, Hollywood –  is set up like one big giant fertility clinique where everyone is groomed to become producers of “life” like flesh-machines or flesh-factories that are here to serve one basic function: re-produce and clone more flesh-machines.

We are “brought to life” to clone the system that is infused everywhere, Impulsing everything and everyone to only serve it, as a god almost that requires absolute obedience and devotion – and what is even worse: we are not even aware of it – or ourselves as it.

Because the deception has been so carefully designed and orchestrated that everyone believes that they’re in fact “living life” – that they are each living in something called “my life” which is almost like a game-sequence or a level in a computer game, where one must collect the most amount of points and scores – and the most important aspect of this is the game of reproduction.

For some it is mostly about the act itself – which entire industries, such as the porn- and clubbing industry are build upon. For others it is about the goal of producing the best possible offspring – for others again it is about “making the best out of” “the journey” – again with entire industries build upon these programs and impulses, which humans follow and call “family values” and “family first” or “I am a bachelor for life” and nod with this warm feeling of purpose and worth.

I have myself been 100 % controlled by this specific point of enslavement to the point where it is in deed shocking to realize even this singular point as an example of the extend of self-deception and enslavement I have submitted myself to – completely oblivious. I believed that my yearning desire for a little house on the beach with a loving husband, a dog and three children was a pure, honest wish for a happy life.  I was willing to go through hoops to maintain relationships, get sex or even flirt. I never questioned the sexual arousal I felt when I saw a man on the street that fit the profile of someone who is “powerful”.  And what is amazing is that this is a complete collective delirium that everyone is participating in maintaining – lovesongs, Tv-shows, romantic movies, hardcore porn, family-discount, bridal showers, baby showers, bachelor parties, beach parties, date rape drugs, you name it: we’re hooked on it. And this is why it is so hard to see and realize the self-delusion as the spell that we’ve placed ourselves under.

Because even if you were to see it – the entire world around you would live this as reality and thus eventually you would end up believing yourself to be insane or dysfunctional. It is like in the story about the emperor’s new clothes where everyone believes the emperor has clothes on; even though they can see that he does not – simply because they fear losing public appearance. Only when a child who has no concept of keeping up appearances, speaks up, the spell is broken.

It is time to break the spell, people – there is no such thing as love, as relationships, as “the one”, as “the perfect life”. The “perfect life” is – look around – only facilitated and made possible by money. When looking at the various representations of this scenario and those we’ve believed to have such a life, what we see is the facade, the make-up placed on top of the face of reality, stuck in a stiff smile – – what we are seeing is the emperor’s new clothes and we believe it to be real because otherwise we would have to face the lies we’ve been telling ourselves.

Sex is not some magnificent, sacred, spiritual or exhilarating event that will blow the boundaries of reality if only it is performed correctly with the right partner – the experiences of sexual energy charging around in the body is like the sweetener they put in cough syrup to make sure it gets down and stays down.

The entire purpose of this, us existing as flesh-factories in various grooming, fertility and nesting systems — is to replicate and reproduce more clones, more systems like ourselves – cloning what is here as this system of self-enslavement and propelling energy that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become – and thus fear letting go of, because we’ve diluted ourselves to the extend where we now believe that this is all we are and will ever be – which unfortunately is true as long as we allow it to be. As long as we praise and submit ourselves to these systems – in their honor and in spite of life – we will remain self-enslaved and self-inflated, giving value to the act of enslavement itself.

The expression “bred in captivity” is fitting here – because only a race as stupid and arrogant, as we humans have allowed ourselves to be and become, would speak proudly of enslavement as though it was a sign of their evolved intelligence and power over nature – when in fact, all it reveals is the extend of our own self-enslavement.

The point here is not that sex is bad or that relationships are bad and that we should all now go into celibacy. Quite the contrary – the point is for us to realize how we’ve enslaved ourselves to reproduce ourselves as clones of our own enslavement and to break that cycle by willing ourselves to change.

We do this by changing the very nature of our relationships – – from pre-programmed and automated fertility-programs to living agreements where we come together in the purpose of supporting ourselves and each other as Life to stand up. We do this by changing the way we have sex and the starting-point within which we have sex, from mentally and energetically charged reproduction maneuvers to physical self-expression and amalgamation of and as ourselves in the touch of equality. We do this by stopping participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings – within the realization that all of these are pre-programmed for us to follow the pattern of survival through reproduction. We bring ourselves back Here – – in and as the Physical, as Life, Equal and One.

This is what we do in The Desteni I Process, with all parts of Life that is not supporting what is best for all – with all parts of life that is existing in and as self-enslavement and as self-delusion of and as the mind as separation from ourselves as Life Here – we stop each and everyone of them and re-educate ourselves to willing a new way of Life into existence – a way that is best for all – where All Life supports All Life Equally.

At Desteni we rip the veils from our eyes, one by one – until all is unveiled and life is no longer lived as a lie. We are not looking for truth – we are looking for the lies that we’ve wrapped ourselves within and as, in denial of ourselves Here as Life – so that we may stand up for the end of all abuse and the beginning of a new world in perfect order – A world of freedom and self-expression for All Life.

Q and A – on “Why it is Impossible to be a Good person”

08 Tuesday Mar 2011

Posted by vixensjournetolife in Okategoriserade

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Anna Brix Thomsen, Bad, Bad people, being good, Buddha, Deception, Desteni Group, Desteni I Process, doing good, Energy, Equal Money For All, Evil, Extremity, God, Good People, Goodness, Hope, Joy, Karma, Krishna, Law of Attraction, Mankind, Mike Soteric, morality, Polarities, Polarity, Self-Deception, Soc Journal, Universe, World Equality Process

The following Q and A is from an article I wrote on Morality and how it is impossible to be Good, due to the nature and construct of Polarity.

The Question was posted as reply to this article in my column on the Sociology Journal

Q – from Sergey:

“What is the motivation to be good? Some people try to be seemed perfect just for kind of superiority feeling, some ones blindly follow the conducts of their authorities, whether parents or church, or neighborhood. It is evident that for such people to become better is really hard. But there is another reason of being good. Those who have dedicated their lives to something great, I mean great service for humanity, or sincere efforts to realize the Supreme; those people are becoming great very soon themselves. If being good is not an ultimate goal, but just a method for something greater, than it is not so impossible task and not a big issue either.”

A – My reply:

The motivation to be good is the fear of going to hell – the fear of being punished by god. And yes it is also about the polarity between superior and inferior, same as good and bad or good and evil. It is however not simply “some people” who Participate in these polarities, but literally all of us. Even though the immediate authorities seems to be parents, the church or even friends- the ultimate authority is us, existing as a ball been thrown (or essentially throwing ourselves) between and as these polarities, of and as the Mind. To desire to be superior, we must first accept ourselves as inferior – to desire to be good, we accept ourselves as bad. By promoting “positive thinking”, were are consequently creating hate and judgment – that is the nature of polarities, constantly balancing themselves out. So – those people “who have dedicated their lives to something great, I mean great service for humanity”, are Equally Responsible in the creation of the World as it currently exist – as we currently exist, in Suffering, Abuse and Self-Deception. Looking back in the history of mankind, no such person has EVER made any significant difference in this world. This is in Fact – the epitome of Self-Deception. That we require to “aspire” – “to Ascend”, which literally means accepting ourselves as less attempting to become more than who and what we actually are Here, as who and what we have Accepted and Allowed ourselves to Exist in and as – and the consequential result for such people: is that they end on their ass. To say that “those people are becoming great very soon themselves.” – Reveals a starting-point of hope as Self-Deception within believing in a force, outside separate from us as “the Supreme” – that magically will Change us, for us – instead of us taking Self-Responsibility and Change Ourselves. We do not require “great service for humanity” – Humanity as it currently exists, is rotten to the core. We require to Face Ourselves, as All that is Here, in Self-Honesty and Common Sense Realizations, that Everything that is Here – is Who we are and that the World only exist the way it does, because we exist the way we’ve Accepted and Allowed Ourselves to Exist. We Actually have to Change – in Fact, from, within and as the madness and mayhem that we have become.

Participate Actively in Bringing about Change:

Join The Desteni I Process for Re-Education of Self to Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility
Join The World Equality Process for Re-Education of the World Economical and Political Systems from a System of Greed and Survival to Living the Principle of What is Best for All within and as Equality as an Equal Money System


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