Many of us do it, few will admit to it, even to themselves because it is a big ‘no-no’ in our societies and so as it is tabooed in societies, so we make it a taboo inside ourselves, even though we engage within it, sometimes on a daily basis.
I am talking about bragging, you know, the thing you do where you pump yourself up and share something ‘awesome’ or ‘amazing’ about yourself to get recognition and applause from your peers. Been there done that.
Braggers often come off as conceited, self-absorbed, arrogant and pretentious.
What I have found though with observing others who brag is that bragging essentially comes from insecurity and low self-esteem.
So what does bragging consist of? Well it is like when something good happens in your life or if you’ve done something that you’re proud of, you want to share it with others, but there is a slight (or sometimes obvious) point of showing off: “look at me, ain’t I the bomb!”
To me it has been a tendency within me that I have been aware of and yet it is like I sometimes see myself from the outside going: “what the hell are you on about girl?” It is almost like bragging is an addiction, like you know you’re not supposed to do it and yet it is so tempting that you can’t.
People brag with the purpose of getting acknowledgement and admiration from others with the purpose of making themselves feel better or more. It is no different from flaunting your expensive car or jewelry. The funny thing is that it often doesn’t even involve other people’s direct responses, like the person driving the expensive car down the road, might not even interact with people telling him how amazing his car is, but in his mind he is imagining how they are and that gives him an experience of importance and increased worth.
If we within ourselves are satisfied with whom we are, and even more so: if we know who we are, do we need to brag? No – because bragging serves the purpose of filling us up with something we don’t believe we have or that we don’t give to ourselves.
So interestingly enough, the one who brags to others, to get them to give us recognition and admiration is most likely also a self-condemner, someone that doesn’t see their own worth and therefore have to try and emulate it through the eyes of others.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to engage in and participate with bragging as an automated mechanism within my mind which I use subconsciously to ‘raise’ myself up in the eyes of others and through the eyes of others, to myself – not realizing how it was never about wanting to be seen as more by others, but in fact to raise myself up in my own eyes, believing that I could only do so if my worth was reflected back to me by others – since I wasn’t seeing or giving myself worth internally
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on bragging as a way to make myself feel better, despite it often backfiring where others would look at me as less rather than more
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to generate a positive energetic experience from bragging where I, within presenting myself as more than what I see/believe that I am, for a moment feel like I am being raised, that I AM truly more and within that feel amazing, not realizing how I am creating a delusional image of myself that I want others to reflect back to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brag about my accomplishments, when they are things that I am proud of having done or achieved, because I feel like they and I are not worth as much without somebody else applauding and recognizing them thus implying that I don’t see or recognize my own worth
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use others and the predictability of social conduct to manipulate an experience within me of feeling ‘more than’ through getting their recognition and thereby also feeling left wanting and disappointed when others do not respond in the way I wanted them to when I tell them about my accomplishment
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge it as wrong and bad to share your accomplishments with others within and as judging bragging as wrong and bad, not realizing that there’s a difference between wanting to share one’s achievements with others to share the enjoyment and then doing so to change one’s experience of oneself based on the other person’s reply and thus defining oneself according to it
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge others that brag as being ‘annoying’ and ‘full of themselves’ and judge them as being weak and self-centered, not realizing that I am projecting my own self-judgment onto them
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a false sense of self, to hide from and disguise my actual sense of self which is often negative and full of doubt and self-judgment so that I can feel better about myself but without actually solving the problem of seeing myself through a negative lens
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not accept or allow myself to recognize or see my own worth because I’ve created the belief and have accepted the belief as real that I am not allowed to see or say anything ‘good’ or ‘positive’ about myself because that is conceited and self-centered, not realizing how I, because I don’t allow myself to see my real worth have to create a sense of fake worth to feel worthy because the mind works with polarities and so have to balance the negative with positive instead of me simply seeing and recognizing what is real without having to polarize it either way
When and as I see an urge to brag come up within me, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don’t have to follow through on urges inside myself and that I can breathe and stabilize myself first and have a look at what is within/behind this urge and whether it is commonsensical or not before I decide to speak/express. I commit myself to go within and have a look at how I’ve been experiencing myself in the moments/days up to the urge towards bragging and whether I’ve been experiencing negative experiences/reactions towards myself causing me to feel like I have to ‘raise’ myself through bragging. I commit myself to allow myself to recognize my worth and see my worth as who and what I am without looking or experiencing myself either negatively or positively towards myself.