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who you look up toWhy do we look up to certain people? What is it about this person that makes us look up to them? What does it imply to ‘look up’ to someone and what are the consequences of us placing others on pedestals in our minds?

In this post I will begin exploring the point of looking up to someone in my world and what that means when looking at the deeper dimensions involved in my relationship with myself.

This point opened up because I came across this amazing recording recommended to me by my partner. In the recording which can be accessed exclusively from the Eqafe website, they talk about how we have a tendency to either look up or down to people. I’m glad I listened to the recording when I did because it is obviously something that I’ve faced many times in my life, but until I listend to the recording, I had simply taken it for granted. That’s why I’m such a big fan of Eqafe as a self-development website unlike any other, because on a daily basis I can go and browse the database and find spot-on material about anything I might be facing in my life or even find recordings that bring up things within me I had never before considered. So as I was listening to the recording while driving, I couldn’t help to look at certain people in my life that I have either looked up to or looked down upon. One person in particular stood out to me. If you’re interested in doing the practical exercise suggested in the recording that I’ll be working with for myself in this blog, you can get access to the recording through this link: Crick in Your Neck – Reptilians – Part 340

What I find interesting when looking at exploring this point is that when I was about to write about the person whom I look up to, I feel almost excited about writing/speaking about them and how I see them, like the way I see them somehow rubs off on me. More about how that’s actually entirely in reverse later.

There’s definitely an element of ‘awe’ and ‘infatuation’ in my experience towards this person and I also realize that while I don’t look up to a lot of people, the people I do look up to tend to have the same/similar qualities in common. This person however has in a way become an ‘icon’ in my mind, much like one would look up to a public figure like Jesus or Mother Theresa. It is interesting because this is a person that I know and that I communicate with and I see how me seeing them with this ‘awe’ has had consequences for my interaction with them. For example; I’m hesitant towards reaching out to them or contacting them because I don’t want to impose on them and I want them to respect me. Also, when something rather tragic happened in this person’s life, I had trouble reaching out and showing my care for them, exactly because I’ve placed them on a pedestal in my mind, almost like they’re not even human.

So this person that I look up to is a woman and what I have seen that is interesting in relation to the question of why I look up to her so much more than other people, is that she, to me in many ways represent the potential of who/what I can become. So I see many similarities between her and myself but where she has developed certain expressions and skills that I have yet to develop in myself.

First of all, I see her as very comfortable with herself. She is very comfortable with her body. When she moves and does things, it’s very precise. If I were to compare her to an inanimate object she would be like a sharp, flexible sword.

She is probably the most assertive and self-confident person I’ve ever met. She is a very practical and specific person. She can explain the most complicated points in a simplified way. She is fearless and while she exudes respect, she is also very playful and fun. She is relentless and does not compromise. She pushes herself to an absolute extent. In a way you could say that she’s the embodiment of everything I would want to be and become. What is also interesting is that I know that she’s not always been this way. I know that she’s walked a process to become who she is today.

When I look at the extent to which I look up to this woman and how I would want to emulate what I see in her, I also see a risk of trying to become something that I am not.

What this means is that if I only look up to this woman and then try to become exactly like her, I would fail because who she is and how she expresses herself is her unique expression. Obviously there can be similarities between people’s expressions and skills, but I see that it is important for me to take the inspiration that I see from her and look at how I can develop that for/within myself in such a way that I develop my own unique potential and expression. As I mentioned, there’s a reason why it is this particular woman I look up to, because I see many similarities between us, where, what she lives is like an amplified and absolute version of what I would like to develop in myself.

The thing is that this woman at the moment is not even a real person. The description of a person that I am working with here is actually a symbolic representation of attributes and aspects of myself that I see as a potential, but that I have not yet lived. What I’ve then gone and done in my mind is that I’ve projected it onto this real woman in my life because she is similar to me in many ways, but instead of immediately looking at the projection as a practical point of self-support, like a mirror in which I can see how I can develop myself, I placed her on a pedestal, I made it about ‘her’ and as such I separated myself from the particular and specific qualities that I see in her and that I haven’t yet developed in myself.

So what I will be doing here is that I’ll be taking the ‘attributes’ that I’ve seen in this woman and I will relate them back to myself and my own life – in terms of asking myself the obvious question: but why am I not living that? And even more importantly: how can I implement this skill or this expression into myself and into my own life?

So these are the words as qualities/skills/expressions that I’ll be working with in terms of investigating and redefining them for myself so that I can integrate them into my daily living application:

Specific

Practical

Fearless

Sharp

Confident

Assertive

Self-Trusting

Clear

Comfortable

Steadfast

Uncompromising

In the next post I will begin with exploring the word/expression specific/specificity as that is one of the strongest expressions and one of the first things that I noticed about the woman I’ve looked up to. I remember even telling her once that I wanted to be like her because of her specificity and so since then, it’s something that I’ve been practicing but that I’ve never explored in an absolute sense, utilizing her example as a mirror for my own potential.

Until next time, stay tuned….

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

 

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