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hate the color orangeIn this post I am continuing with exploring my relationship to colors and the preferences and aversions that I’ve created towards specific colors. I am here specifically going to walk a self-forgiveness process in relation to the colors that I’ve created the most intense aversion towards which I outlined in the previous post, here starting with the color orange.

Before I start I would like to mention that I’ve begun a process of embracing the colors that I’ve previously had an aversion towards through integrating them into my life. I have for example bought a pair of purple training shoes recently and while I didn’t buy them because they were purple but because they fit my feet well, this is something I would have never done in the past, as I would have judged the color purple as ‘archaic’ and ‘outdated’ and ‘too feminine’. I have found that integrating the colors into my life that I have previously had an aversion towards is assisting me to embrace the colors and to release and let go of any negative energetic charge and judgment that I hold towards them. Similarly I have deliberately avoided reaching out to my preferred colors when I am shopping for example or when I draw with the kids at work, which also assists to release the energetic preference and attraction towards specific colors. My goal is to see colors equally without having specific preferences or reactions towards them. So this is something that I’d suggest for anyone who has similar experiences towards colors that I’ve had as a practical way to assist and support yourself to create a commonsensical relationship to colors.

Self-Forgiveness

ORANGE

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create an aversion and resistance towards the color orange

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate my aversion towards the color orange by thinking about how much I dislike orange and by speaking to others about it, thereby charging my reaction towards the color even more, by validating and confirming it for myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to speak and think the words: “orange is a disgusting color”, “orange is my least favorite color”, “I hate orange”, “I would never wear something orange”, “orange is such an ugly color”

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and convince myself that orange truly is an ugly color and as such blame the color orange for the experience that I have created towards it, when I have in fact not seen the actual color orange for what it is, but only a reactive relationship that I’ve created within my own mind

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to associate the color orange with feeling sick and vomiting and thereby attach an experience of disgust to the word orange

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to attach an experience of disgust to vomiting, as though vomiting in itself is something gross and disgusting when in fact it is simply the emptying out of stomach content that can have a strong smell due to the decomposition process taking place in the stomach

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that my resistance and aversion towards the color orange is a real and objective reaction and that what I am reacting to is what the color orange in fact is, when in fact I’m only reacting to my own mind’s interpretation of and association with the color orange based on memories

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize how preferences and aversions towards colors stems from memories attached to the colors in the mind that I’ve charged with either a positive, negative or neutral energetic charge

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is perfectly normal and acceptable, in fact good, to have distinct preferences and aversions towards specific colors

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the colors that I have preferences and aversions towards and within this define myself as someone that is not ‘an orange person’

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to experience a resistance, judgment and disgust when someone brings something orange into my house to become part of the décor of my house because I have so disassociated myself with the color orange that I feel and experience it as ‘not me’ to have orange in my house

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to reject the color orange, not realizing that within doing so, I was rejecting a part of myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize how extensively I’ve limited myself based on my accepted preferences and aversions to specific colors, where I’ve literally missed out on an entire color spectrum all due to having attached those colors to a negative energetic experience attached to a memory that I am not even consciously aware of

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to associate the color orange with vomiting and with vomiting into an orange bucket, thereby as a small child, associating the negative experience I had towards vomiting with the color orange, simply because the color orange happened to be present and part of the experience

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize how preferences and aversions towards colors can be created within the mind after having had energetic reactions associated with and attached to specific memories wherein that color featured – and how this actually applies to any and all preference and aversion, thus making our aversions and preferences gifts because through them we can source back the memories we’ve defined ourselves according to and used to hold onto the past and exist in energy

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge the color orange as ‘too much’, as ‘too intense’, as ‘invasive’ and ‘intrusive’ due to the sometimes strong light and brightness featured through the color orange

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to without realizing it, identify the color orange with myself and within this project a judgment of myself onto the color orange, because of how the color orange is often featured in my world (used to highlight things, bring attention to something)

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project a judgment of myself as being ‘intrusive’, ‘dominant’ and ‘too much’ onto the color orange because its features reminds me of myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge the color orange for ‘trying to bring attention to itself’ – when in fact this was exactly what I had judged myself for

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a judgment and a belief that it is ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ to bring attention to oneself, instead of seeing that bringing attention to oneself and be both necessary and it can be supportive, but it can also be something one does from a starting-point of insecurity and ego – which is not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ – it is simply a specific survival and coping strategy

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that bringing attention to oneself can be supportive

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that what I judged was disgusted by and resisted in and through the color orange was in fact myself

Self-Commitment and Corrective Statements

When and as I see that I am reacting to the color orange by resisting it, I stop and I breathe. Instead of removing myself from the color orange or the color orange from me, I move myself closer to the color, I embrace it, I let it embrace me, I merge myself with it.

I realize that the aversion I’ve created towards the color orange actually had to do with a judgment towards myself as being exactly that which I judged the color orange to be. I realize that my aversion towards the color orange was an aversion towards myself for trying to bring attention to myself from other people.

I realize that I’ve created aversions and preferences towards colors in my mind based on memories where I’ve had a positive, negative or neutral energetic reaction that I’ve then attached to the memory and defined myself according to.

I commit myself to embrace the color orange and so in affect embrace myself. I commit myself to embrace and unconditionally accept and be grateful for the specific properties the color orange has of bringing attention to itself, which makes it a supportive color used for example in situations of safety where people or objects has to be seen in traffic. I realize that I can do the exact same with myself, make bringing attention to myself something supportive that I do if required, but that I do not judge myself for or see as bad or wrong – nor as positive. I commit myself to integrate the color orange into my life so that I can equalize my relationship to the color and exist in equality with the color orange here as myself.

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