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self-empowermentThere exists a pattern within us as human beings where we, when we feel powerless and desperate towards not being able to change a situation that we see is unacceptable, go into rage, anger and rioting in an attempt to force the point/situation/people to change, where we try to empower ourselves through this anger/rage. Throughout human history we have seen societies rise and break down through so-called ‘revolutions’ where ‘we the people’ get to that point of having had enough. Through this pattern of powerlessness we see no other way but to attempt to overthrow the establishment and we take desperate measures to do so that every time ends in blood being spilled and no real results being achieved in terms of changing the systems. Or we go in the opposite direction, cover our eyes, mouths and ears and sink into apathy, drugs, alcohol and entertainment for an escape.

What we are even seeing now with the advent of globalization, is how the problems simply shift from one country or region to another, like a global play of tag where we pass on the economic and political problems to those less fortunate and with a sigh of relief say: “you are it.” In our own individual lives the same pattern plays out, where we for example in our relationships feel powerless towards changing our partners, our parents or our bosses or colleagues. We try to change it, we use diplomatic methods and in the end we feel so powerless because we see how a change is required, how what is happening is having consequences in our own lives – yet we cannot force someone else to change. We cannot force the system to change for us. And so in that state of powerlessness and desperation we turn to anger, to rage, to rioting in an attempt to empower ourselves and force the problem to a solution. But it never works.

In our own lives what often happen is that we simply haven’t got the tools or the vocabulary to deal effectively with situations that emerge. And most of us also haven’t learned how to deal with what seems like ’impossible’ situations. And so instead we learn and develop survival strategies based on reactive patterns, for example the flight or flight response described within modern psychology. We tend to thus either run away from the problems we face in our lives or we try and fight them. Unfortunately neither is an effective strategy because we don’t actually get to a point of learning how to effectively solve our problems. In society it is no different. We don’t know how to change the world or how to stop the massive unemployment rates. Most of us are aware of the redundancy of the current political system and so we often end up in an experience that there is nothing we can do to change our own or the general situation. To deal with what we see and find impossible, we either escape (the flight response) into alcohol, gaming, partying or religion. Or we might start complaining and blaming other people for what’s going on or we go into various forms of activism or rebellion (the fight response) where we try to fight the system to change. In both cases what happens is that we validate our own powerlessness through a belief that the change has to come from somewhere else. And we don’t realize or consider that, as long as we are in a state of reaction, we cannot change the situation or ourselves within and as it.

So what is the solution? The solution is to, first and foremost stop the reactions and within that process to also stop blaming others and expecting them to change or trying to force them to change – and instead bring the responsibility back to ourselves. When we bring the responsibility back to ourselves, we empower ourselves and thus stop the pattern of powerlessness, because the powerlessness exists within a context of placing responsibility on others – thus placing ourselves in a situation where we can’t do anything or change the situation, unless someone else changes it for us. We cannot force others to change. We might not even be able to (at least not instantly) change a specific situation in the world-system (like unemployment). But what we can do is to develop practical tools for ourselves through which we can change how we relate to others or specific situations. If we see someone else doing something that we see isn’t commonsensical, but we cannot force them to change, we can start by getting to understand how and why they are seeing things the way they do. When we understand how another sees the world, it is much easier to offer them support to expand their perspective. But this is something that can only be done when we have cleared ourselves from reactions. We have all experienced being judged or blamed by others for something we had done, and while we see that what they are saying is valid, all we are hearing and picking up on in that moment is the energy of blame and anger and because that isn’t valid and we know that, we tend to become defensive and go into a counter-reaction and can even become self-righteous, even though we see what we did wasn’t okay. And so the focus is changed from understanding our own actions and intensions in self-honesty and from there correcting and changing ourselves to simply reacting and defending ourselves. As such we can see that it isn’t effective to try and force others to change from a starting-point of reaction. We might have to step back and be patient, to wait for another moment to discuss the point again. Or in the case of seeing something that is unacceptable in the world-system, we often have no choice but to live with it for the time being and then look for practical solutions while we do so. As such – while we might not be able to change a situation or how another person sees things, we ARE able to change how we see things, how we react and respond to others and things that happens in our world. And most importantly, we are able to shift our focus from only looking at and reacting to problems to start seeing and looking for solutions. Often the solution might be something we hadn’t already considered. Or we have to walk through a process of expanding our understanding of a particular system or even a pattern within another person to be able to see the solutions. But if we are caught up in an experience of powerlessness we won’t be able to do so and no matter how angry we get, how frustrated we won’t be able to change it because we aren’t actually standing as the solution within ourselves.

In relation to experiencing powerlessness towards the world-system, I recommend watcing the hangout series Hope for Humanity where practical support and solutions is shared.

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course