“Take Care of your Body.
It’s the only place you have to live.
– Jim Rohn
The last four days I have been down with the flu, which I am slowly beginning to get back from. I also had (though a different kind) the flu in December and I am usually not someone that has gotten sick a lot. So considering this I started looking at the point of how and why I get sick. Besides all the usual environmental factors, like the weather changing and the fact that I work with kids, I have started to see more and more how participating in the mind affects our bodies. We walk around in thoughts believing these to be totally disconnected from our physical bodies, not directly seeing or experiencing any correlations until it becomes obvious or we directly get to see the connections. Now that I look at it, I remember how I would have allergic outbreaks as a toddler and young child and an allergy specialist told my mother that it was psychosomatic because I was reacting to the instability of my home environment. So I can see now that I have always been sensitive and in fact that we all are. But it is like when you keep consuming something that’s actually bad for you, the body as the powerful and amazing organism it is will do its best to adjust and create a normal habitable environment and you go on thinking that “this isn’t so bad” – until you get that ulcer or those cavities or whatever consequences falls upon you for having over consumed something that wasn’t good for you. Sugar is a good example of this that I have tested for myself, as a person who is very sensitive and addiction-prone when it comes to sugar. I can build up a sugar tolerance and not experience much direct effect. But if I don’t eat sugar for six months and then have a doughnut or something, I will almost literally feel sick or drugged or even intoxicated. So I see that it is the same tolerance the body creates for the mind – or rather, is forced to create; until it cannot hold its stability any longer and as for example in my case, attack itself with virus like symptoms.
Several weeks ago I had decided to start writing a blog-series about my relationship to my physical body. Other points came up in the meantime and eventually I got back around to the point, when I in the last blog-post wrote about the reaction of sadness that comes up within me when watching ‘positive’ images and videos of ‘happy’ animals. After having written that blog-post and getting ready to write the next, I woke up on Sunday with a sore throat that soon escalated into a full-blown influenza with high fever.
Going the distance with this influenza I have realized something: I care less about my own physical body than I do the animals that I feel so sad for. And when stretching that self-honesty even further I am asking myself if I even do care for these animals that suffer. Because how is my care manifested? In an experience of ‘sadness’ and ‘compassion’. I ask myself what I would do if a wounded bird showed up at my doorstep. Most likely I would try to take care of it if I was able to. But there most certainly have also been situations when I did not. My care is therefore more existing as a mental experience than as an actual physical active expression. And the thing is also that the solution is not that I now drop everything I have and go live in the jungle of Borneo spending the rest of my life trying to safe the Orangutans. I am using that example because it is something that I have actually fantasized about. And while I mean no disrespect to the people working for the well being of animals, I also see that there are many roads required to be walked for us as humanity to restore the ecosystem of this planet. And most importantly: I cannot help anyone else as long as I treat my own body with disrespect. So my ‘care’ for animals is in fact – sadly so – in many ways a mirrored reflection of the lack of care of my own human body, my own flesh. I do however see that there is a potential for care within my compassion for animals and the life that they express – but as I said, this cannot even remotely be manifested unless I also turn this care inwards towards my own body and myself. I have been listening to a fascinating interview series (see at the bottom of the post) about care that substantially debunks the delusion of ‘care’ that we’ve lulled ourselves into. In one of the interviews something very fascinating is mentioned; that self-value is overrated and what matters is how we value life as a whole. Hearing this kind of lifted a stone off of my chest because through the years I’ve been searching for my ‘self-value’, not exactly knowing where to find it or how to develop it. I suppose self-value is the same as integrity or self-love. And I see now how it is important to value oneself, but from a different starting-point than how I’ve done previously. Self-value is equal to valuing all life so it kind of goes the other way around of how I’ve seen it before. So valuing myself is not a point of valuing myself individually or necessarily as an individual. But since I am a part of life (or at least a potential thereof I ought to value myself as life, because otherwise I’m devaluing life – not only within/as myself but within/as all life. So how I am towards and within myself is aggregate with how I am towards all of life. And this is completely and entirely independent on what my so-called ‘values’ or ‘principles’ are. I can be ever so compassionate towards animals, but if this does not reflect itself equally on my relationship with my own physical body, then this compassion isn’t real. Because my physical body is an equal living organism existing enslaved to the dominion of the mind. The difference is that with animals it is ‘out there’ and it is so easy to see the abusers of society; the politicians, the animal abusers, the industrial farmers. It is so obvious. It’s the system created by us humans that is abusing animals so terribly. But with my physical body, it is primarily me myself who is doing the abusing – besides obviously the indirect abuse caused by my participation in society, like when ingesting chemically modified foods for example. So what does it mean to care for myself as life? What does it mean to value myself as life?
That is what I am here to investigate for myself so that I can answer these questions solemnly and accordingly apply a practical solution for myself.
In this post I am continuing from the previous post where I started outlining the specific reactions of sadness that has come up within me when I see ‘happy’ images of animals.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become saddened by seeing images and videos of animals that are enjoying themselves and expressing themselves
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow an automated reaction of sadness to exist within me when I see images and videos of animals enjoying and expressing themselves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid and resist looking at images of animals enjoying and expressing themselves to avoid the experience of sadness that comes up within me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist facing the experience of sadness that comes up within me when I see animals enjoying and expressing themselves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad when I see animals enjoying and expressing themselves because it reminds me of all the animals that are suffering at the abuse of the hands of human beings – human beings like me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and desperate when I think about the billions of animals that are suffering every day at the hands of humans because I know that I cannot stop the suffering in this very instant no matter how much I want to and no matter how unacceptable their suffering is
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately avoid holding the awareness of the billions and animals being abused on a daily basis within me and so when I go about my day, they do not exist within my awareness
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that the reason why I don’t think about or hold animals beings abused within my awareness is because it would hurt me too much when the fact of the matter is that I mostly think about myself and my own life and give very little thought or consideration to what is going on in rest of reality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately hold the illusion and deception within myself that cows and pigs are happy animals living on green fields surrounded by corn-fed children and that monkeys are living in luscious rainforests so that I don’t have to be faced with the reality of the lives of these animals and all animals in fact – and within that avoid actually having to face my own responsibility and part in the abuse and suffering of animals
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and convince myself that I have got an honest and true compassion and care for life because of how I feel towards animals and nature, when in fact I have never applied this care or compassion to my own physical body and therefore cannot say that I have cared for life, because that would include my own physical body or shall I say: my own physical body first simply because that is what is closest to me and if I cannot even care for that which is closest to me, how can I care for anything or anyone else?
– This is another point with regards to care or compassion for animals for example. Because we often can care oh so much for animals or human beings that are distanced from us. But we don’t care much about those closest to us.
I forgive myself that I have never accepted or allowed myself to see or realize the connection between me not caring for my physical body and how we as humanity as a whole do not care for life and within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the fact and the consequence of me not caring by blaming humanity, blaming the system, blaming the rich for the abuse and destruction that is being allowed on this planet, when I am in fact doing the exact same to my physical body and thereby is an equal perpetrator in the abuse of life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply accept that I don’t know how to care for my physical body and that I have somehow destroyed my ability to care for my physical body and thereby go into a form of resignation which I realize now is the same as giving up and is the same as manipulating myself to sabotage myself – exactly as we as humanity do when we say that human nature cannot be changed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I want to care for my physical body, but that I just don’t know how to when the fact of the matter is that I could have made a commitment and dedicated myself to find out how to care for my physical body instead of simply accepting that I don’t know and then just give up
When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to accept myself to not care for myself within going into resignation where I say to myself: “that’s the way it is, I don’t know how to change it.” – I stop myself and I breathe. I realize that I have used this resignation to justify giving up on myself where I haven’t even given myself a chance to develop self-care or investigate how to develop self-care but have instead manipulated myself through acceptance to sabotage myself and give up on myself. I realize that while I may not have developed an effective self-care as of yet, it doesn’t mean that I am unable to – but if I don’t actually go for it, how can I say it isn’t possible? I also realize that it is the same mechanism in us human beings that we use to justify the abuse we cause on earth by claiming to be ignorant and that it is simply human nature and that we cannot change that. I commit myself to walk this process in these blogs to develop real self-care, not for myself as a separate individual or in any religious or spiritual or romantic way, but caring for myself as life as part of all life as a commonsensical way of living with myself as with all life. I commit myself to investigate and research what it means to care for my physical body.
Here are the interviews on Care that I mentioned previously: