Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Desire - To Be BeautifulIn this post I will be continuing with self-forgiveness on how we as women are attempting to empower ourselves through beauty/being attractive that I wrote about in my previous post: Deconstructing the Idea of Beauty as Empowering for Women: DAY 242

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become obsessed with being/becoming ‘beautiful/attractive’ and that I have within this never actually questioned this obsession, but instead have completely immersed myself within it through mental preoccupation in thoughts/emotions/feelings where I constantly think about beauty and being/becoming beautiful, through comparing my perception of my own beauty/lack of beauty with other women, through judging how I perceive my body, through wishing/hoping/fantasizing about looking like the women in TV/magazine/movies, through flirting and interacting with men (and women) from a starting-point of wanting them to see me as beautiful/attractive and through physical preoccupation of spending time, money and resources on ‘beautifying’ myself, for example within constantly looking myself in the mirror/windows, through spending a lot of time trying on clothes and accessories before I leave the house, through putting on make-up and spending an excessive amount of time doing/re-doing my hair, through purchasing all kinds of items and products from hair-products to clothes, gym memberships, diet pills and exercising equipment… phew lol

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not ever question the attention, focus, priority, time and money that I’ve given to being/becoming beautiful/attractive in context to the practical value of being/becoming beautiful and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not ever question or ask myself what it is I am missing out on/under-prioritizing by being obsessed and preoccupied with beautifying myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to never question the value and priority I’ve given to being/becoming beautiful/attractive and that I’ve taken it for granted as important and valuable without question

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, instead of questioning and investigating the value and priority I’ve given to ‘beautifying’ myself, suppressed my desire to be/become beautiful/attractive and through that have accepted it as a secret/tabooed undercurrent in my life that I am completely immersed within and obsessed with, but without even being aware of this and I also forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that I don’t care about being/becoming beautiful/attractive – when the fact of the matter is that I do, which is evident by how much I think/preoccupy myself with ‘beautification’ in various ways throughout my day

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accept and perceive it as ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ to want/need/desire to be/become beautiful/attractive

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use excuses and justifications like: “it’s important to take care of yourself” and “Image is everything” and “beautiful people are more healthy and successful” to justify to myself why beauty is important and should be prioritized

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel, believe and judge myself as being a social pariah and outcast and basically a worthless human being that should be ashamed of myself and hold my head bent in shamed if I don’t fit the bill of what ‘beauty/being attractive’ is presented as in the world system

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize or consider that there are two predominant reasons why I desire/want/need to be beautiful/attractive, namely firstly that I believe that being beautiful/attractive will make me powerful/valuable in the world system, in fact the most basic and important way that I can obtain power/value in the world system and secondly that I’ve generated positive energy from feeling beautiful/attractive and thus powerful and superior and from perceiving others seeing me as beautiful/attractive but also negative energy from worrying about not being beautiful, from judging myself as not being beautiful, from comparing myself to other women – and so generated energy for the mind to sustain itself from my internal conflict, obsessing and seesawing the positive and negative energies constituted by my belief that being/becoming beautiful/attractive will make me powerful thus making it a full circle/time-loop

In the next post I will continue with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

I recommened the following interviews that expand on the idea of beauty:

And God Created Beauty

DIY beauty system

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

Advertisements