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Making a DecisionThe last couple of weeks I’ve been working with time management because my schedule recently has changed and I’ve now got more responsibilities. Within this I’ve experienced increased stress and I would come home from work and feel extremely tired and for weeks I couldn’t do anything else than relax with TV series or going to bed early. Now one day last week I had enough and I decided to work with changing how I approach time and scheduling. I realized that I had been feeling sorry for myself because I now work fulltime and have other responsibilities when I come home. Within this I also considered how working full time is something most people do, with many even having two or three jobs or having to care for children when they come home. So in the grand scheme of things I am certainly not ’special’ because I have to work full time and work when I come home as well – it is in fact quite normal and compared to many other people I have an easy life. But I felt that I was having a very hard time and almost like everyone else should be at my beg and call because I was now in this ’special’ situation.

But then I considered how this is the first time in my life that I have worked full time with a lot of responsibilities along with other responsibilities in my life. I have indeed had an easy life, because for most of it, I’ve been a student and I’ve been able to flexibly manage my own hours. For several years of my life, I’ve been able to pretty much do as I pleased and now I’m simply in the (sinking) boat of survival with everyone else. But this also explained why I was so tired and exhausted. I was doing something that I had never done before. And so it might not be tough compared to the situation that most people are faced with, but compared to my own previous situation, it is tough. So here I was at this realization, I saw how I had pitied myself and made my experience even worse.

Then I decided to change my experience of myself in relation to work. Because even when I was at work I was constantly stressed and I couldn’t wait to get off work and go home. So I was creating these two separate worlds; the world of responsibility and obligation vs. the world of relaxation and avoiding responsibility, both world’s making me equally stressed but in different ways. Then I decided to change how I see and approach my work, not as some horrible obligation that is extracting the life out of me, but as a professional and personal challenge, as something where I can actually contribute, as something that is part of my life and that has value, even if it is ‘just’ a job wherein the primary reason for working is survival. So since I decided to change my experience and how I approach my work – and it has merely been making that decision – my experience within my work has changed rather drastically already.

First of all, I no longer feel as tired when I come home. In fact, I don’t even feel exhausted at all – simply a little tired and aching. Secondly I’m enjoying my work a lot more, I’m ironically a lot more relaxed in my work. The practical situation is still the same – meaning I still have a lot to do; I still have the same responsibilities. But I’ve been able to look at them differently and as such change how I experience myself within it.

Today I then had a ‘break through’ in my communication with a child, where the entire nature of the conversation changed from the ‘normal’ trivial conversation to an actual deep conversation about things that matter. I was talking to a third grader about theater and he was explaining to me how he uses the physical body as a tool when he does theater. One of the tasks of the lesson was to write a story from the perspective of the tools one use. The boy said he had found it difficult to write a story from the perspective of the body. This led to a lengthy conversation about the human body and ‘whom’ we are within/as the body, why it is we can’t feel our heart or the blood circulating in our bodies. We talked about whether we are more the body or the mind. This was an awesome conversation that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to have, had I remained in the mindset that I was in previously.

So through all of this, I have learned one thing and that is that whatever I am experiencing, it is my own responsibility and that means that I can change how I experience myself, by simply making a decision to look at things differently, to approach things from a different starting-point. It has amazed me how making a simple decision can change the entire way one sees and experiences something in one’s world.

So I suggest for anyone reading this, to try it out for yourself. If there is an area or point in your life that you’re unsatisfied with, don’t simply take for granted that how you experience it, objectively reflects reality. Because what do we know as soon as there are reactions coming up within us? We aren’t looking at the actual practical reality; we’re looking from a filter that we’ve placed inside our own minds. And this means we can change the filter or even remove it and completely change our own experience.

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

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