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Mental patternsSince writing the previous post I have been practicing the point of not reacting within and as activating the entire pattern starting with the thought “There must be something wrong with me” and although the point has decreased significantly, I have experienced reactions. However these reactions have been in relation to specific points which I will write about in a later post, as they are in a way an ‘offshoot/upgrade/branching out’ or other dimension of the same point. Though before I continue with self-corrective and self-commitment statements on the points I walked through in the previous post, I am going to share a point I’ve seen regarding how we create reactions over time:

So let’s say that I walk into a room or even walk by a room and I see two people talking. Now – because of the positions I have given these people in my mind and how I’ve already positioned myself in comparison (and thus competition) to them, I experience a significant reaction of “not being good enough” simply because I am not part of the conversation, that I wasn’t ‘invited’ or asked to participate and within that I also experience that the person towards which I am comparing myself (usually only one of the two where I see the other as being more than both of us) is ‘getting a head’ of me – here specifically related to ‘process’ however I see that it could be in relation to any point. Because what is ‘interesting’ about reactions from this perspective is that they do not actually have anything to do with the real people or what is actually going on. Because when we’re in reaction – we’re literally seeing the current moment through/within/as the past. And what we are seeing are symbols, constellations, configurations that RE-MIND us and therefore re-activates something that happened in the past towards which we reacted and formed an entire relationship because we defined and identified ourselves and others according to the reaction. This is why it doesn’t matter so much what the ‘point’ that we’re comparing to or even who the person is.

Here I have also noticed something interesting; when one for example is literally ‘stuck’ in such a pattern of competition – comparison – jealousy – inferiority – superiority as I have been, specifically in relation to other females, then it doesn’t matter ‘who’ I latch the reaction onto. And what is even more interesting within this, is that we as human beings usually interpret these situations as ‘unique’ especially when we go as far as blaming the other person or projecting our own experiences onto them. Then “it’s because she’s so beautiful” or “she takes all the space” or “he believes he’s so smart.” – Where we don’t see, realize and understand that just a week ago, we had the EXACT SAME REACTION towards someone else entirely in a completely different situation – where the only overlapping factor was our reaction and the ‘symbols’ required for us to activate the reaction.

What I mean by ‘symbols’ is stuff like hand gestures or colors or features or even for example within my example walking by a window and seeing two people talking. So in my mind I’ve categorized this specific ‘image’ of seeing two people talking, perhaps even positioned in a specific formation towards each other or it could be two people talking in a specific way or mentioning specific words. We have then created a mental ‘magnet’ where as soon as we see that ‘image’ we immediately trigger the reaction in quantum speed, completely automated – because after years and years of training ourselves into believing that THIS IS REAL and THIS IS WHO I Am and THIS IS WHO ‘THEY’ ARE – we don’t even have to put any conscious effort into ‘seeing’ — because we’re still running on that first initial decision to latch ourselves – in complete separation from ourselves – onto that reaction whenever we’re in a similar situation.

It is quite a disturbed way that we’ve learned from our minds where we’ve made thousands upon thousands of conclusions, assumptions, decisions and acceptances about ‘how the world works’, ‘how relationships work’ and ‘who we are’ that we then keep re-living and re-creating placing more and more layers of memories that ‘confirm’ that we’re ‘right’ on top of each other, thus trapping and confining ourselves to only see and participate in our world based on preconceived acceptances that was made in moments where our capacity to see in self-honesty and common sense had been compromised by our seeing through/within/as the mind based on the mind’s entire catalog of references, threads and relationships. An example here is for example cultural programming and points transferred from parents where we’re not even consciously aware that we are participating in preprogramming but as soon as we do accept it as ourselves and start living according to it, we form yet another layer that is then used to maintain the control of the specific program over our lives – but even over our children’s lives.

It’s like a leavened sourdough where each batch of bread produces yet another piece of the sourdough that can go on ‘living’ forever because people keep using it to make more bread and out of that bread, create more sour dough, thus each batch containing a piece of all the combined breads being made over the years.

Interestingly enough, sour dough starts with one piece known as the ‘head’ or the ‘chef’ or ‘chief’ made simply from flour and water. This is exactly how our reactions starts in the physical with a simplistic physical situation that we then ‘cultivate’ in our minds through participating in thoughts and reactions through which we keep building on creating a more and more complex ‘mass’ designed to constantly ‘bring to life’ that same original reaction. Another interesting fact about sour dough as a metaphor for how we keep recreating the same reactions is that it works – it brings the bread ‘to life’ through a process of fermentation. See for example what it says here on the Wikipedia page about sourdough:

 “With sufficient time, temperature, and refreshments with new or fresh dough, the mixture develops a balanced, symbiotic or stable culture.[1][5] This culture will cause a dough to rise if the gluten has been developed sufficiently.

 This entire process can be appropriately be translated to how the re-activation of reactions functions within our minds through our participation over time.

With sufficient ‘time’ which is the years we spend reacting and participating in the same thoughts over and over, even across many generations and the accurate temperature and settings as the energy we’ve invested in our reactions and the symbolic triggers that activates the reactions, a ‘cult-u-are’ is formed – as a personality or a character within/from/as our minds. This then causes ’dough’ to rise – as the process of reacting which eventually ferments us. That is basically what happens when we become possessed within and as the reactions, not reacting accordingly in a state of delusion.

 So if we go back to the point of my reaction when seeing two people talking and immediately I feel ‘left out’, ‘excluded’ and ‘not good enough’ I have actually already in that moment activated a quantum reaction filled with layered memories from which I’ve created a specific pattern of reaction as ‘if-this-then-that’ playouts where I would for example then feel bad about myself and then go and hide and feel like giving up on myself eventually accumulating myself into a state of depression or intense jealousy where I’d try and ‘win’ over the person towards whom I am comparing myself no.

Never did it occur to me to go and ask the two beings what they are talking about. Never did it occur to me that this reaction isn’t in fact ‘showing’ me what is real and what is really happening in this moment. Because in reality, I am here, walking by two people talking and that’s it. It doesn’t change me or define me, but because of the extensive process of layering reactions I instantaneously accept what I am experiencing as a real. It’s the sour dough effect.

Never did it occur to me to investigate what it is that other person ‘has’ ot ‘is’ that I have not yet lived within/as myself and thereby utilize the ‘expansion’ I see in another grasping something that I am not yet grasping as an opportunity for me to expand myself. I always just to the ‘low road’ and instead accepted that I was less than the person or even in some moments tried to kick them off the position they were in so that I could slide myself into it and ‘take over’.

This entire point shows how extensively we are still living in the past. And we are not even living in a real past but in a manufactured and made-up past based on how we defined ourselves within taking things personally and defining them in separating of/from not only ourselves as individuals but from the whole as well. It also shows how important it is to identify and stop all and every thought and reaction that we are participating within – because as long as our entire scope of seeing reality is determined by us holding onto the past, we can’t actually live in reality, let alone see it. And so we keep ourselves entirely contained within a mental prison solely made up of us defining ourselves within and as the past, each time we react solidifying another layer onto the unstable and fundamentally black brick wall that is ourselves, never realizing that as long as our foundation isn’t solid in fact – we won’t stand stable, solid, real here within and as ourselves in this one reality.

Until next time.

Investigate Desteni, investigate the forum where on is invited to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship courses as well as the FREE DIP Lite course

Suggested documentaries to watch to assist with the de-zombification of the self:


Third World America – Chris Hedges


John taylor gatto the ultimate history lesson:


The Power Principle http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

The Trap


Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

The Century of the Self: Part 1- Happiness Machines

On Advertisement and the end of the world:

Questions and Perspectives: What is a Living Word?

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