In this post I will be walking a somewhat precarious point that many if not most people can surely relate to. It is about ‘the hunt’ for a partner, whether romantically or sexually that has become an entire life-style for many human beings in various cultures, where people will go out clubbing for example with the single intent to ‘win over’, ‘slay’ and ‘kill’ another human being in the sense of seducing them sexually and either go as far as actually having sex or simply flirting or even falling in love with them. Much of our consumer behavior and industry has even been dedicated especially to fulfilling the desires of this entity that operates on a thrill, urge, desire to posses and conquer another human being no matter the consequences for oneself or the other. We shall call it the ‘Man Eater’, which mostly is associated with females yet it could just as well be a male participating in an entertaining such a character.
This blog post will form part of the Relationship Paranoia series that I will be walking while I will also continue to walk the blog series on my relationship to negativity/positivity and relationships in general. In context to what Relationship Paranoia is and how one can walk through it in writing, I recommended reading this blog post by Creation’s Journey to Life that clearly outlines how to walk through the Relationship Paranoia characters
In context to what I’ll be walking in this blog-post I also recommend reading the following blog-posts:
- Who I am as A ‘Player’ Shopping for Sex: DAY 17
- Who I am as: A ‘Woman of Sin Indebted to Man’: DAY 25Who I am as: ‘The Good Christian Woe-Man’: DAY 24
- At War with My Man: ‘Kill or be killed’: DAY 23
- The ‘Relationship-Chameleon’ Personality: DAY 21-22
- 2012 – My Life as a Sex Slave
- S.E.X – What’s the Secret?
- 2012 – The SECRETS of SEX
The backdrop for how this point opened up and emerged is as follows:
Last night I went out with my colleagues for the first time ever. I’ve basically not been out on a café or restaurant or anything like that virtually with anyone except for my partner for several years. My colleagues have asked me if I wanted to come with them and so to support myself and to expand my network I decided to go today. I also actually quite enjoy speaking with my colleagues – something that I found rather unexpected when I took this job because I hadn’t even considered forming any form of relationships with anyone. But for some reason, communication between myself and five other people has been very smooth and natural and easy and I simply enjoy their company and their perspectives. Within this group I’ve noticed that when I am with males that I change behavior – which is a clear sign and signal that I am going into a character, in this case the very specific ‘man hunting’ or ‘man eating’ character’. So when we were out together I allowed what the starting-point is and myself to observe this character and what it wants and how I behave. And I found also that this character wouldn’t have activated and opened up had I not gone out with my colleagues so I see how important it is that we don’t isolate ourselves in a form of rigid stability that only too easy can be knocked down if we were to enter into the Matrix if society. It is important that we can walk amongst one another without being possessed by energetic experiences, memories and characters. A testimony of the result of such a process of self-responsibility is described profoundly here by Gian Robberts
At work – standing my ground.
At work I am the guy that is taking the straight path, as the other guys are saying while they tease me, they call me gay and they laugh at me, they come up with all sorts of of things to say to me – Why you may ask, because i do not participate within sexual conversations, I do not participate within gossip, I do not participate within talking about women and everything these is a man can talk about women, I do not participate within their games of “getting that girl, that bitch, that whore, that girl that had a video going around town”, they say Gian, you are a pussy, you are gay, Gian is a chicken, he frights for women, every time we talk about women he leaves, They say Gian, you may look at the menu, it does not hurt, just look and maybe sometimes you may taste, come drink with us, i say no thanks, i don’t drink, come on just one drink man, be a cool guy now, have some fun man, i say no thanks I don’t drink. they want me to drink with them so badly, they will pay, for anything i want, they will even pay for a whole night out, I say no thanks I am okay. when a women walks in, all the guys start looking, they say thins, they are scanning, they are evaluating the women out loud, they ask for my opinion, I say what women, they say there man you fucking blind, I say no, I don’t care. they keep pushing me everyday, I breathe everyday, i make sure I have no reaction, I make sure i have no judgment, i make sure I stop my thoughts and I continue, I direct everyone attention to work within a few words, the day goes on till the next events. Thank you Desteni and all the Tools I have to support and assist myself daily in my process – many years of self forgiveness and common sense in practical application, living it as me. see i first focus on myself, then they ask me, how do you do it Gian, then I will tell them, I start with common sense, exposing brainwashing and consumerism to show the programming.
So what is shared here by Gian, is the goal with what I am writing here and what we’re doing with writing in the 7 Year Journey to Life in general as we prepare ourselves to become dignified human beings with self-respect who can stand as examples not only for ourselves but for others as well.
In my investigation of the Man Eater Character I found something interesting that I have never realized in all my years of hunting men with the perceived or conscious purpose of finding a partner and/or someone to have sex with. Because as I observed this character and it’s energetic signature within me, I could see how it when stripped down to the basics of what it is, is a character of pure ego and desire for power and control. Basically it has nothing to do with romance or even sex or ‘connecting’ – it doesn’t even have anything to do with ‘wanting to be desired by men’ or any other definition and explanation that I’ve been giving to it for all these years. The funny thing is also within that is that in all my previous justifications for this character, I always found myself somehow being ‘the victim’ or ‘innocent like ‘I can’t help it.’ But what I am realizing is that this character is close to ‘pure evil’ as it is manifested as pure ego:
The Man Eater character is someone who doesn’t care about who they hurt or what the consequences are, they just want to ‘win’ the trophy of possessing another person and don’t care about what they have to do to get it. When we access this character and more specifically when we live it out, relationships are destroyed and people are broken down just so that this Man Eater character can get a kick and thrill out of feeling that they’ve ‘hunted down’ and successfully ‘slayed’ another human being. I’ve known people who has stepped into this character all my life both male and female and it often ends with some kind of sexual encounter where lives and relationships are left devastated in the wake of this energetic possession.
So this is the clear and obvious problem with the Man Eater character. It serves absolutely no practical purpose. All it does is destroy and devastate. And the solution is equally obvious because it is about ‘WHO’ we accept and allow ourselves to be, live and identify as in ourselves and in our interaction with other human beings. By following what goes on in our minds and consciousness we are basically just following delusional and fictive goals and desires that serves no practical purposes so obviously that is something that one has to stop through a process of self-investigation in writing and through taking responsibility for in self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.
As Bernard says in the blog-post on Relationship Paranoia that I referred to above:
“Remember: all the people you have seen/are seeing in your Life (because you are at this stage just a Mind Consciousness Entity), exist within you as Pictures – they are not existing as Real People. That’s why it’s so easy to drive half the World into Starvation, because none of the people within your Mind Memory Structure are real as far as you are concerned, because they are only real to the Mind Consciousness Entity if you have some Benefit from it, if there is Self Interest. Therefore, all the people you’ll have in your Life – will always be related to your Entity’s Self Interest as far as what you can get, Not as far as what you can Give – and you will Only Give, because you know by Giving, you will be Getting.”
The reward of stopping participation in the Man Eater Character is that one will no longer live in self-disrespect or disrespect towards others which means that actual self-respect, honor and dignity can be established. One will be able to be trusted by oneself and by others and one will be able to form real meaningful relationships that do in fact serve a practical purpose. One will also no longer have to be a slave to the urges and desires that comes up within and through one’s mind and can then in fact make decisions based on what is practically best for all within one moment.
As such I will here be writing out self-forgiveness so as to take responsibility for the Man Eater that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a character of pure evil as ego without any care or consideration for life – interestingly enough a complete opposite to what it means to actually care about oneself or another. This is thus also a point where I am here taking responsibility for the fact that the Man Eater Character exists in the world in general and therefore I’ll be looking at how the entire character plays out whether in my own life or in general.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the Man Eater Character to exist within and as myself and within and as this world as a social character equal to the sport of hunting and killing animals for fun, but where the hunt is towards seducing and possessing other humans sexually and romantically without any regard for them, their life or their well-being
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as a Man Eater within and as a starting-point of desiring to consume, possess, devour, conquer and seduce other people sexually for no other reason than because it makes me feel powerful and in control over others
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become completely possessed with and within the desire to seduce other people to the point where I have absolutely no regard for them, their life or their well-being let alone the possible consequences of my actions as I allow myself to hunt down another using sexuality and sexual codes to manipulate them into wanting to be with me at all cost and lose control of themselves no matter the cost
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as a Man Eater and that I within and as identifying, accepting and submitting myself to and as the Man Eater Character have accepted and allowed myself to hurt and harm other people through me deliberately seducing them through using any and all tactics and methods to make them want me and like me
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not care about or even consider the possible consequences of me acting out and living out the Man Eater Character, where I’ve broken up homes, families and relationships just so that I could fulfill a thrill of ‘hunting’ and ‘slaying’ another human being sexually and socially speaking
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to develop a Man Eater Character as a superior personality/character/entity based on the reversing of my experience and acceptance of myself as being inferior and weak and powerless in my desire to be with boys and men where I’d experience the Man Eater as a form of self-empowerment because it meant that I didn’t sit and wait and hoped to be ‘hunted’ anymore but instead became the ‘hunter’ myself not seeing, realizing or understanding that I wasn’t really empowering myself – I was just reversing the role-play, making those I ‘hunted’ the weak and powerless all the while I had absolutely no power or control over myself but simply was following social and cultural codes and preprogramming as well as an energetic experience as ego boosting itself through the association of seduction to actual ‘hunting’ and ‘killing’ as man’s apparent power and control over nature and the animal kingdom
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my existence, living and acting out as a Man Eater because it makes me feel superior, powerful and in control when I execute the ‘hunt’ towards another human being and even more so when I’ve successfully been able to ‘kill’ them translated into for example having sex with them or merely having them adore, love or desire me openly – without ever having considered the consequences or purposes of living in this way for myself or for others.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see, experience and define myself as a victim and as powerless and inferior when it comes to sexual hunting games and within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny to myself ‘who’ and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and live as, as the Man Eater character – as a character of pure evil as ego, superiority and self-importance as a character that can in no way be excused or justified but that is deliberate, intentional and evil within and as its starting-point of possession.
I am going to go up to here for now with self-forgiveness. I will then in the next blog-post go further into the specific dimensions of the Man Eater Character so that I can effectively release it and let it go and no longer accept or allow myself to participate in the Man Eater character. So if you’ve also accepted and allowed yourself to live and exist as a Man Eater or a Woman Eater, I invite you to walk with me in this process of restoring self-integrity and dignity.
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