When and as I speak to my mother and she says “just do what makes you happy” where I see that I without evening question this, am accepting what she is saying as a fundamental truth I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here. Because I see that I within accepting whatever my mother says or presents as a value as a ‘doctrine’ that I agree to follow unconditionally because it is my mother who speaks it, I’ve am participating in an acceptance of parents as people who know everything and who are here to show children how the world works and how to live effectively in it, when the fact of the matter is that parents don’t know shit about how the world works or how to live effectively in it, because otherwise the world would not be in the state it is in and we would as humans not be in the state we’re in and so through children accepting whatever parents say as valid doctrines or prescriptions for how to live and within parents presenting information as definite and permanent as though they know everything, even though they know that they don’t, we’re recreating the same flawed human beings generation after generation. So I commit myself to stop accepting whatever my mother says as a doctrine without question and I commit myself to consider each point of information that is presented to me for myself in common sense self-honesty and investigate whether it is best for all or not before considering whether it is something I will prescribe as a principle for how I live. And I commit myself to share with my mother when and as I see that what she is presenting is not best for all, when and as this is practical to share and so step out of the relationship I’ve created towards my mother where I’ve been expecting her to show me how the world works and how to live effectively and to instead create a relationship to my mother as two equal beings that can equally share perspectives on how to live effectively in the world
When and as I see that I am participating in the justification towards a point of participation of saying to myself directly or indirectly that “this does not make me happy (feel good) so I won’t do it” – I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that within living according to only doing that which makes me happy as in where I generate a positive energetic experience I am compromising myself and not considering what is required and best to do in common sense. So I commit myself to push through the resistance I’ve created towards doing something that does not make me happy/feel good and I commit myself to stop basing my decisions on what to do on how I feel towards it, because I now see, realize and understand how utterly flawed this doctrine is and so I commit myself to instead base the decisions I make on a common sense consideration of what is required and best in the particular situation and then I simply direct myself accordingly.
When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to automatically follow that which makes me happy, through which I generate a positive experience because of the relationship I’ve created towards the particular point based on memories and preferences I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that I can’t trust the directive principle of only doing what makes me happy, both because that which makes me happy often is abusive towards myself and others, either directly or indirectly and because happiness is a positive energetic experience I’ve created in creating relationships I’ve towards the particular points and experiences based on memories and preferences that is in no way founded in practical reality and as such is not real and can’t last or be sustained which is also why I then constantly have to look for the next thing that makes me happy, instead of stabilizing myself here and develop real satisfaction and comfortability within and as the physical in a way that is not abusive towards myself or others. And so I commit myself to start cross-referencing the points that come up where I am about to act and do something because I believe it makes me happy and to question the relationship I’ve created in my mind towards the particular point and to from there make a practical common sense assessment whether it is something I will continue with or not and I commit myself to remove any and all energetic relationship that I’ve created towards particular forms of expression or participation as I see and cross-reference them as I go about my day.
When and as I see that I am not here breathing and therefore deliberately not being self-honest within/with/as myself towards what I am participating within and as and therefore not seeing or considering the consequences that I am creating through only doing what makes me happy – I stop. I breathe because I see, realize and understand that when I am not here breathing, I am deliberately living and acting from within and as the mind where I’ve based who I am, for example on doctrines that I’ve learned from my mother and where all I care about is myself and therefore I can’t and won’t see the consequences of my actions and I see, realize and understand also that this is something I’ve done deliberately, because were I to see the consequences of my actions, I would also have to face myself in self-responsibility for what I am accepting and allowing myself to create, through which I would see that it is unacceptable to live only that which makes me happy. So therefore – I commit myself to bring myself back to breath, again and again and again – whatever it takes and I commit myself to do this diligently because I see, realize and understand that if I don’t I will be deliberately be self-dishonest and continue ignoring the consequences of who I allow myself to be and therefore not take self-responsibility. And this is unacceptable.
When and as I see that I am acting based on the doctrine of only doing what makes me happy in which I am defending this doctrine even though I know that it is not best for all, but where I participate in it because it gives me what I want as nice positive experiences, I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that I’ve used how I’ve accepted the happiness doctrine as something unquestionable based on the relationship I created towards my mother, was actually an excuse and justification for doing what I wanted without taking responsibility for the consequences I created, blaming my actions on my mother. So I commit myself to stop defending the happiness doctrine within me and I commit myself to stop blaming my mother and thus project my self-responsibility onto her.
When and as I see that I am reacting to advertisements and movies where I experience a reaction of happiness as a projection towards how my life could be or how nice something would taste I stop and I breathe and I stop participating in the happiness experience. Because I see, realize and understand that media is just another extension of the happiness doctrine that makes sure that we follow the doctrine even after we’ve left our parents nest so that we’re constantly chasing after positive experiences that often costs a lot of money and never stop up and consider the consequences of what we are doing. So I commit myself to stop accepting advertisements as depicting reality and I commit myself to stop creating and participating in positive energetic experiences.
When and as I see that I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in a fear that if I don’t do what makes me happy I will have an horrible, boring and meaningless experience and life, I stop and I breathe. Because I see, realize and understand that I’ve based this fear on believing that I can only have a meaningful life if I have a happy experience based on how I’ve perceived the sentence ‘do what makes you happy’ as a doctrine that I’ve believed that I must follow to have a good life and also within how the positive experience of being happy is a direct polarity to a negative experience and as such I’ve accepted that if I am not doing what makes me happy I will have a negative experience, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that these are experiences I’ve created myself towards particular points of participation that has nothing to do with practical reality. And so I commit myself to stop participating in fear that if I don’t do what makes me happy, that I will have a horrible experience and that my life will be meaningless and I commit myself to stop participating in the belief that if I don’t do what makes me happy, I will have a horrible experience and my life will be meaningless. I commit myself to instead do what is practically required of me to create an effective life that is based on common sense and not on energetic experiences.
To be continued
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