Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Self-Forgiveness on Separating Self From Pure Evil as the Origin of Self that Self Fights ‘Like the Devil

This is in continuation to:

Staff Sargent F.E.A.R Thomsen: DAY 110

Wrestling Imaginary Alligators of the Mind: DAY 109

At War with My Man: ‘Kill or be killed’: DAY 23

Letting Go of Control Issues: DAY 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own inner relationship of conflict and friction onto my external reality and onto my relationship with my partner, our living-environment and the animals living here with us and as such that I have externalized my own inner conflict and friction within and as my relationship with myself in only seeing/perceiving/experiencing/accepting the conflict and friction as existing outside/separate from me and thus as something I am not creating or responsible for in believing/experiencing/perceiving/accepting that the conflict and friction is something that happens to me

Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own relationship with myself in and through which I have created and manifested conflict and friction and because of that – I have abdicated self-responsibility for who I am, in my own relationship with myself and that which I accept and allow myself to create, manifest, participate within/as and stand equal to within and as me and because of that have projected it onto my external reality and such have blamed and made my external reality responsible for what I am in fact accepting and allowing to exist within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for what I perceive as my partner being untrustworthy when in fact I am blaming another within and so as to abdicate self-responsibility for me being untrustworthy within and as myself in projecting my own untrustworthiness onto another as outside and separate from me and as such divert my own attention from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgment and within that the relationship I have created as a separate entity of/as my mind of superiority towards myself for being untrustworthy/not living the principle of what is best for all onto another as the reflected image of my own self-separation as outside and separate from me and thereby have accepted and allowed myself to dilute and deceive myself into believing/justifying/experiencing that it is not me that is untrustworthy and it is not me that is judging me for being untrustworthy and such I have abdicated self-responsibility for who I am as the relationship I have created towards myself of judgment as superiority where I believe myself to be standing at a point of righteousness in judging myself for being untrustworthy/not living the principle of what is best for all

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship towards myself within/as my mind where I separate myself from who I am within and as what I accept and allow myself to stand equal to/as in creating/inventing a superior character/stance from where I look down upon myself in judgment that I justify as righteous within and as perceiving/judging/experiencing/defining/accepting myself in separation of and from myself in/as the mind as ‘evil’ and ‘bad’ and ‘a monster’ that must be eradicated and destroyed and controlled and contained within and as in fact experiencing/believing/perceiving/accepting myself to be inferior to myself as the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as – and accept and allow a time-loop as a pattern of participation in/as self-abdication through suppression and denial where I have, when I have compromised myself in my participation, have suppressed and denied this within and as myself in judging myself for compromising myself where I see/perceive/experience/believe myself to be ‘evil’ and as such ‘avoided at all costs’ and then, because I did not change/correct/direct myself in and as self-responsibility, I have accepted and allowed myself to project the point of compromise onto my external reality – as the representation of myself as that which I’ve separated myself from – and thus start blaming/judging/resenting/reacting to my external reality – in now believing that it is something/someone outside and separate from me who is in fact being/doing/living that which I am accepting within and as myself – where I have continued to do so, until I realized or was shown by another that I was in fact projecting my own acceptance and allowance onto another in self-separation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand and admit to myself in self-honesty the consequences of me abdicating my own responsibility for who/what I am and through separating myself from who I am – as who and what I accept and allow myself to stand equal to within/as myself – where I have literally poisoned and destroyed relationships with other human beings and created massive conflict and friction within my environment to the extent of creating scapegoats in the world system like ‘the devil’ that I, through blaming and holding responsible for who I am and what I have created in and as this world with/as who I am responsible and thus through that have accepted and allowed myself to continue abusing and compromising myself and everyone else through my deliberate self-abdication

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create scapegoat characters in/as others as manifested representations of my self-separation that I could blame and hold responsible for who I am and for what is here in and as this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as a character of ‘moral superiority’ within/as my mind, where I believe that I am standing as ‘the voice of reason’, that I am standing as ‘beingness’, as ‘someone that is walking process standing up for what is best for all’ and such through/within/as this character have accepted and allowed myself to judge/blame/spite/resent/deny/hide/suppress/abuse and abdicate self-responsibility for that which I have defined as ‘the mind’ and ‘ego’ as an inferior character – standing in a direct relationship of polarity to this superior character in seeing/perceiving/defining it as ‘less than’ ‘who’ I perceive myself to be as a morally superior being standing outside of the mind looking in on the mind – all the while I am doing all of this within/as the mind in creating and inventing separate entities that I battle against each other

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as separating myself into separate entities within and as my mind of superiority and inferiority where I perceive/define/believe the superior character to be ‘ME’ as ‘beingness’ looking ‘in’ on ‘the mind’ and the inferior character as ‘the mind’ and ‘ego’ as that of/as myself that I must eradicate and destroy and that is a danger and threat to myself as ‘beingness’ and where I in fact am hiding my relationship to myself within and as believing/experiencing/accepting myself as that which I define/perceive/experience to be my ‘beingness’ to be ‘less than’ ‘the mind’ and ‘ego’ as ‘pure evil’ as ‘stronger than me’ and ‘superior to me’ that I thus believe I must create a stronger character, like a staff sergeant/hit man to ‘fight’ this ‘monster’ in ‘equalizing’ itself to it’ exactly as how Christians will fear the devil and will go to drastic measures to fight/destroy/eradicate the devil, including killing and torturing people as well as harming and isolating oneself – knowingly that this ‘evil’ is stronger than self – never seeing, realizing or understanding that this ‘self’ was never real to begin with, but was a character created to not face myself in and as ‘pure evil’ of and as the mind and so in fact to, with utmost sneakiness contain myself within and as the mind as ‘pure evil’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand how the more I fight and suppress myself as that which I have judged/defined as ‘pure evil’ within and as fear of myself as that ‘pure evil’, the more I am in fact giving energy and feeding myself as this ‘pure evil’ within and as confirming my own strength and authority as this evil – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the solution is simplistically to embrace, equalize myself to/with/as and face myself in utmost self-honesty unconditionally as the pure evil that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within/as/through my mind as a representation/representative entity of my own self-separation – exactly as how a Christian or a spiritual person will fight ‘the devil’ or ‘negativity’ and the more they do so, the more the evil and negative grows in the shadows of their secret mind because they did in fact not stand equal to who and what they had accepted and allowed themselves to be/become/exist as – but to instead separate themselves from themselves in/as the secret mind – and so in fact to endorse who they are as the secret mind by deliberately keeping it secret and coming up with entities and characters to cover up and justify why they are keeping it secret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that that which I exist as, at the darkest, deepest pit of my mind and which I know is who and what I in fact am, must be contained/controlled /suppressed because I know that this is who I am and thus I know – even though I am not aware of it – that I cannot eradicate myself as that because it is ‘who I am’ and thus I must contain ‘the evil’ of/as me in secret because I know and fear that were I to expose myself as the truth of myself, I would not be able to survive in this world, exactly as everyone is hiding who they in fact are at all costs to avoid prosecution and the consequences of being caught – and this is the only reason in fact why I am hiding my secret mind from myself and from everyone else – where the guilt I experience is in fact just another cover-up insurance to present myself as a good person that at least feels bad and thus cannot be ‘pure evil’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the only one in the world, except for the few violent, sadistic, serial killers or abusers who’s been caught who is in essence ‘pure evil’ because of how I accepted myself as a separate entity and perceived/believed/accepted that that which the world presented itself as and that which people presented themselves as is ‘who they are and is what is real’ – not seeing, realizing or understanding that this ‘pure evil’ is at the bottom of all our hearts and minds and is in fact what we are collectively and individually creating this entire world-system based on where all the most evil abuse exists in secret and is allowed to exist in secret as huge sex trafficking industries, as deliberate corporate exploitation of workers in poor countries, as constant civil wars where people are slaughtered, raped and mass murdered, where billions upon billions of animals are exposed to the most horrendous and brutal abuse every single day by humans – and all of this is only seldom seen or exposed, exactly as who I am as pure evil within and as myself will ‘emerge’ in glimpse or in moments where I can no longer contain myself and for example explodes in rage or where I in a moment realize how I was deliberately spiting another in my mind, yet simply notice and carry on with my day in complete self-denial and suppression, where even when I do see it, I don’t see – because I have agreed not to see it, speak it or expose it – exactly as we in all of humanity have agreed to not expose the actual abuse that we are accepting and allowing on this earth. And so how I fight my secret mind/ego/self is exactly how activist movements and spiritual movements and political movements are ‘fighting’ ‘evil’ in the world without any result whatsoever because they are separating themselves from the origin of evil which is themselves and are thus only fueling the point even further by accepting themselves s inferior matching an ‘evil monster’ of superiority through which they are in fact confirming the authority of evil and abuse and are also justifying their own self-abdication and self-responsibility as the creators of the evil and abuse in the world it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for me to become ‘someone who can be trusted with/as life’, ‘someone who stands for what is best for all’ I must contain/control/eradicate/destroy/annihilate the ‘monster’ I perceive and see myself as – as the mind/ego – as I look at it in separation of/from myself as the mind/ego IN/as myself as the mind/ego – not seeing, realizing and understanding that for me to change myself, I must stand equal to who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become AS the monster and that only by embracing/facing/forgiving myself AS the monster – can I change

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, within and as separating myself from that of and as myself as the mind that I perceive as ‘a monster’ – BECAUSE I am perceiving myself in separation of/from myself AS ‘the monster’ in placing myself into a character of ‘moral superiority’ as ‘that which is walking the process to stand up a life’ – not seeing, realizing or understanding that it is in fact me AS ‘the monster’ that is walking this process and that the character of ‘moral superiority’ is in fact ‘the monster’ as well equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to memories of me giving in and giving up – as the manifestation of my self-abdication to the mind, through which I have seen/perceived/judged ‘the mind’ as ‘more than me’ instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am the one that has abdicated myself to the mind and I am the one who has created the mind as a representation of my own self-separation that I could abdicate myself to/within/as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/accept myself as ‘having a tendency’ to give up on myself and give in to the temptation of the mind – similarly to how people experience themselves having a tendency to give into the temptation of the devil, and within that deliberately not seeing, realizing or understanding that by creating the mind, I had already abdicated myself to it and so it is not in fact ‘a tendency’ but in fact ‘who I am’ as who and what I’ve accepted myself as and who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to – and therefore there is no ‘fight’ or ‘battle between good and evil’ going on because ‘good and evil’ are two sides of the same coin and ‘the battle’ is that through which I as a mind generate energy from the physical to sustain myself and thus to sustain my own self-abdication of myself as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ‘the battle between good and evil’ to create an illusion of me ‘fighting for the good’ and thus when I give in, I can justify myself as a victim to evilness and make the excuses that ‘I fought for the good, but the evil was too strong’ when in fact I’ve already decided ‘who I am’ which is self-abdication and separation of myself as life, into and as a figment of imagination as the mind through which I live out my desire for energies and experiences

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to copy and learn from my mom ‘the battle between good and evil’ where I believe and trust that ‘there is something evil within me that I must fight’ – while in fact having witnessed my mother fighting this battle my entire life without ever defeating ‘evil ‘ because we ARE the evil and we’ve created the illusion of ‘goodness’ to justify ourselves as ‘evil’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I am already trusting myself – trusting myself as the mind, as fear, as self-containment, as self-suppression, as self-interest – and in fact NOT trusting myself to stand up as life, to walk out of the mind and into the physical, to apply myself in self-honesty in every moment of every breath, to change myself into someone who lives what is best for all and so the decision to trust myself – in/as walking process – is in fact the decision to change myself and thus as long as I hold onto the belief/acceptance of myself as being untrustworthy I ‘don’t have to’ change

(To be continued)

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements