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Why do We Consume Life to Live Life? Why do we Fear not being able to Consume? How do we as Humans Exist as Parasites and Cancer Cells upon the Earth?

This is a continuation to:

I CONsuME: DAY 98
The Consumption Character: DAY 97
Stepping out of the Temptation Character: DAY 96
And Lead us not into Temptation, but Deliver us from Evil: Day 95
The Temptation Character: Day 94
Desire to Connect/Fear of not Connecting with Others: DAY 88
Oneness According to The Jealousy Character: DAY 87
‘My Precious’ Addiction Redefined (PART 2): DAY 53
Gollum, Sméagol and ‘My Precious’ Addiction (PART 1): DAY 52
Addicted to Abuse of Substance (Part 2): DAY 48
Addiction as ‘Life’ (Part 1) DAY 47
Give ME MORE or I’ll Throw a TANTRUM! (Part 3): DAY 46
More IS Less (Part 2): DAY 45
MORE Wants MORE Wants MORE (Part 1): DAY 44

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the Consumption Character within and as participating in the backchat as internal conversation in my mind where I talk to myself and say: “If only I had —- I would feel complete.” And as such within and as actively participating in and giving attention to this backchat as real and valid and really who I am have accepted and allowed myself to verify and confirm for myself the belief/acceptance of myself as lacking/leaking and the subsequent desire to fill myself up within and as the belief that I can make myself complete by inserting something external as outside and separate from me into myself – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I AM THE ONE WHO IS SEPARATE as that is who and what I’ve accepted myself as and are living by/within/as in and as the consumption character – and thus that I’m attempting to reverse my own self-separation through creating even more separation

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in, assume and step into the consumption character through and within participating in the backchat as internal conversation in my mind where I talk to myself and say: “This makes me feel SO complete, I must have more!” whenever I would consume something externally as outside and separate from me, according to the belief that I could fill myself up only from outside myself, not seeing, realizing or understanding that this experience of being full/whole/complete would only last for less than a moment, until I would experience a want/need/desire to get/have/take MORE because of the manifestation of the Consumption Character as being inherently lacking/leaking and within and as denying myself from realizing this, I deceived myself into constantly and continuously attempting to fill myself up – believing that if I just get MORE – more sex, more energy, more power, more food, more weed, more coffee, more friends, more love, more fun, more experiences, more success, more money – I would be complete/whole/full

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to step into, assume and participate within and as the Consumption Character from a starting-point of fear of loss fear of the lacking/leaking that I have accepted and allowed as my starting-point as that which constantly motivates and drives and directs me, yet which I have denied and suppressed and so within and as backchat as an internal conversation in my mind I am completely preoccupied within and as talking to myself that: “I must protect myself and make sure that I get MORE at all times”

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live according to the belief that “I must get/be/become more at all times” and that “I must make sure I have enough… just in case” based on the fear of not having/being enough and the fear of leaking/lacking and so that I will justify within and as myself that I have a ‘right’ to take from others deliberately and make them deliberately have less, because all I care about it is me having more within fear ng to lose what I have

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when I am in a situation of sharing food with others to step into the Consumption Character within fearing loss/not having enough/lacking and as such make sure that I have/get/take more than others and if they for some reason get/have/take more than me, I’ll experience fear and react within experiencing it as unfair and will throw a tantrum to make sure that I get/have/take more than others

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when in a position of sharing with others, make sure that I ALWAYS get/have/take more

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of feeling empty when I don’t get/have/take more and more and consume more and more constantly and as such have to make sure that I constantly get/have/take more to not experience fear of feeling empty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the feeling of being empty to such an extent that I’ll fill myself with anything just to avoid that feeling

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not ever investigate or embrace the experience and feeling of emptiness or myself within and as it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starving and within and as that constantly make sure that I get more food and more than what I need ‘just in case’ – not seeing, realizing and understanding that when I take more than what I need, I am deliberately causing others to have less than what they need and are thus causing them to starve because we exist in oneness but not in equality and through me living according to the fear of loss/leaking/lacking within and as the Consumption Character I am validating and legitimizing that as real and acceptable

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of feeling like nothing when I do not have some form of external point of stimulation to such an extent that I will consume anything constantly and continuously to avoid that experience

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear feeling like nothing when I don’t have a constant point of external stimulation on or inside my body

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself equate the feeling/experience of nothing when I don’t have an external point of stimulation on or inside my body with dying/not being alive and thus within and as that believe that when I take/get a point of external stimulation I will be/become alive and not die

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, through/within/as the Consumption Character exist within and as a constant fear of lacking, losing, not being satisfied or full or whole – never ever investigating or asking myself where that fear comes from and how I created it

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that whatever I perceive/experience/believe that I have, will be taken from me by another as outside and separate from me and that I will thus be lacking/losing that which I have

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my fear of loss has nothing to do with practical reality and that the more I act on it, the more it will grow as I accept it as the basis of my existence believing that I can eradicate it by complying with the fear, not seeing, realizing or understanding that all I am doing is validating the fear within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I consume something externally onto or in my body, feel and experience myself satisfied/full/whole/happy/excited/relaxed/feeing complete/whole within and as connecting/defining consuming/consumption as a positive energetic experience

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, once the energetic experience of the point of consumption dissipates feel a want/need/desire to “fill” myself up again and within and as that experience a negative energetic experience of anxiety/fear/panic/loneliness/desperation/feeling greedy/fearing others will take something from me/desiring to take something from others until I get to the point of consumption again

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to constantly and continuously loop in and as an infinite loop of polarity between the positive energetic experience of consumption and the negative experience within and as fear of loss/lacking/leaking constantly and continuously

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ever question myself as the Consumption Character within and as my want/need/desire to constantly and continuously consume more and more and within and as the fear of losing and lacking

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to superimpose the Consumption Character onto the physical, blaming the physical as my physical body for my want/need/desire to consume, believing that it’s the physical body that constantly wants to consume and not me within and as the mind

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within and as my mind, used the physical, through the experience of desiring to consume, the act of consuming and that which I consume to fulfill and live out the Consumption Character

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that who I am as the Consumption Character is not physical but a character that I have created and assumed for myself within, as and through the mind and that I have forced into and as the physical, into and onto my human physical body and within and through which I have abused, exploited and depleted myself as the physical – within and as a starting point of fear of loss – in accepting myself as separate from and of myself and from the physical and from all and thus attempting to ‘regain’ myself through consuming the physical, not seeing, realizing or understanding that all I’ve been doing is separating myself more and more from myself the more and more I’ve consumed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I step into and assume the Consumption Character to experience a distinct feeling in my stomach/solar plexus similar to hunger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I step into and assume the Consumption Character to experience a desire coming up through my stomach into my throat and mouth and mouthwatering and as such within and as myself justify my experience as physical, biological and thus instinctual and within and as that deceive myself into believing and justifying that “I can’t help it”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I step into and assume the Consumption Character to experience my eyes pinching, my shoulders, arms and chest pulling together and my legs as numb and as such within and as that go into and as ‘survival mode’ towards the point of consumption where I believe that I must consume at all costs to survive/live/exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow an existence and a world that is based on consumption of life based on my own acceptance of me having to consume life to be/get/have life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through creating, manifesting and participating within and as the Consumption Character within and as myself based on fear of loss/fear of not surviving have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and accept inequality within and as the world and in existence as legitimate and valid and as such accept and allow that 2/3 of the world’s population of humans are starving and existing in actual physical lack while a small minority exists in excess and abundance in and as an equation of inequality of the oneness that is here as all as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow an existence and a world system where we live to die, where we destroy and annihilate the physical as what is here as unconditional support – because we live and exist in constant fear of loss

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow an existence and a world where we have absolutely no care or concern for anything or anyone else than this one point of consumption – because that is all I have ever accepted myself as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that we NEVER EVER get to the point of fulfillment – because the hole we’re trying to fill is ourselves and that every time we consume an external point, we exist in a separate relationship with that external point and with ourselves and thus merely confirm our own hole/separation and thus the more we consume, the more we want.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that if I just keep consuming more and more, I will eventually feel full, complete and satisfied

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my ability to consume for granted, without considering, seeing, realizing and understanding that my ability to consume is based on how much money I have and the fact that I am born into a condition of having money and taking the point of having money for granted within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider, see, realize and understand that my over consumption that I have taken for granted as my ‘birth given right’ is existing at the expense of abuse of other human beings and other life-forms

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a right to consume whatever I want, whenever I want it in the quantities that I want to – without ever consider, see, realize or understand the totality of the consequences of my consumption and whether my want is even real to begin with or if it in fact supports creating a world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not care about where the physical manifestations I consume come from or how they are created or what the consequences are – because all I’ve cared about is my own consumption

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that within and as accepting and defining myself as a consumer, I am accepting myself as deliberately depleting, abusing, exploiting and wasting life, the earth and my human physical body

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not ever take self-responsibility for who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become within/as and through the Consumption Character and as such direct and change myself in stepping out of and stopping the Consumption Character and the origin point of fear of loss and separation and create a world that is best for all, where our oneness as all of existence is equal and standing together in equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that how and as who I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within and through the mind, is as a parasite or a cancer cell upon the body as the earth as the oneness organism that as my human physical body requires an absolute equilibrium of all parts supporting one another unconditionally in equality, but where I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist only within and as self-interest of myself as a separate individual entity existing in fear and competition with all other parts and thus in fact exist as a threat to the equilibrium of life

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

 

 

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