Who is Leading us into Temptation? Who will Deliver us from Evil? What is the Evil we will be Delivered From? Continute Reading and Find out for Yourself.
I am continuing with the Temptation Character
, within and as preparing myself to walk through the Addiction Character, as a specific mechanism and supporting character that plays in in how I’ve lived as an Addict.
A point I saw is how ‘temptation’ within the religious
reference to the Devil and sin, is seen as something separate from us, as something that is tempting us where we’re thus not self-responsible for the temptation – and actually use that as a justification to follow the temptation. It could also be a separation as ‘biology’ for example in how people blame
their ‘indiscretions’ on being drunk or on their ‘urges’ – as though that which is tempting us, is coming from outside ourselves, the devil on the shoulder. But it’s clear when looking at when I feel tempted and what I feel tempted towards, that it is myself who are doing the tempting. I am for example not tempted to do heroin or drink alcohol because that does not fit into my addiction pattern, whereas for others it might.
“In the text of the Lord’s Prayer, the King James Version uses “temptation” to translate the Greek word πειρασμός peirasmos. This word has nothing to do with “temptation” with moral-ethical or spiritual-eschatological overtones. It is simply “being put to test”, referring to a situation in which a person is challenged to keep the name of God honored (a reprise of the text in Matthew 6:9). Wikipedia.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted
and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as a temptation character, specifically as a character of deliberate separation, like a demon
that possesses me from outside myself, something that I’m not in control
over or the directive principle behind and as such have used/abused
this feature to deliberately justify for myself acting according to desires/suppressions/fear
s/addictions in using temptation to ‘move’ myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the creator of the temptation character and as the ‘player/actor’ of the temptation character, to deliberately justify my own self-abdication to actions of self-abuse and addiction
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I feel tempted towards doing/consuming/not doing something, that it is not myself who is doing the tempting/creating the temptation because I have deceived myself into believing and justifying for myself that it’s something else outside separate from me that is doing the tempting, like a devil/demon character or like a biological instinct that I have no control or direction over – and that I because of this justification have submitted and subjected myself to the Temptation Character, allowingit to direct me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I am the creator/instigator/directive principle of the Temptation Character and that I am the one who makes the decision to activate an image/thought
/backchat/experience within and as myself as Temptation and that I am the one that makes the decision to follow that temptation into action, even if or when it’s become automated, I am the one that has made the decision to make a character automated and to act in automated patterns of behavior, as the automation is yet another point of justification and self-manipulation into self-abdication of responsibility, because “if it’s automated, I have no control/direction and might as well give in/give up”.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to legitimize for myself to follow and submit myself to automated patterns of addiction/temptation within justifying the automation point as being “impossible to stop” and “out of my hands” – when I am in fact the starting-point of automation in participating in the same pattern long enough until it becomes automated and I no longer have to make an active decision to follow it, yet fail to realize that I’ve spent years making that active decision and therefore within the automation is still the blueprint/residue of the active decision and therefore it is still 100 % my responsibility even if/when I live in a way where I have no self-control or self-directive power – because that’s how I’ve ‘wanted’ it so that I could justify my own self-abdication.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that self-abuse through acting on temptations and existing in addiction, can only exist if I actively do not take self-responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define/judge
/perceive temptation and the Temptation Character as a psychological ‘weakness’ within and as myself as me having ‘no backbone’ and having a ‘weak character’ when in fact, I through the Temptation Character are in full control over myself – yet only within and as a specific frame-work of existing within and as the mind with particular rules and modes and that it is not a weakness but a misrepresentation and misplacement of my directive will – which originates within and as myself as my starting-point of who and what and how I live and exist and accept myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe/convince/tell myself that “it’s not my fault that I am being tempted, I was born this way” or “it’s my mother
’s fault” or “it’s because I am genetically predisposed to wanting sugar”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not, as soon as an image ‘pops up’ from within my mind of me moving myself from what I am participating with to doing/consuming a particular action/manifestation – stop and ask myself what it is I am doing and accepting and allowing
and what it is I am attempting to manipulate myself into running away from through distracting and suppressing myself – and accordingly simply not act on the ‘impulse’ – yet also not reject it or suppress it – as I’ve seen, realized and understood that this will only make the desire/temptation stronger as I am then existing in inferiority to my temptation and as such have already abdicate
d myself to it, yet refuse to admit that to myself in self-honesty
and as such deceive myself into believing that I am stopping – instead of simply making the directive decision of not participating, because I understand the origin point and the consequence
if I do.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge
/resent other human beings for what I perceive in that moment, as them being the origin point/the ones responsible of my experience of temptation by for example asking me if I want a particular food that I ‘know’ I should not eat or if they are doing something that I’ve agreed with myself not to do – and as such project my own self-responsibility for the creation of the temptation character onto another, as a point outside separate from me, to deliberately abdicate
self-responsibility and in fact so that I can follow through with my temptation and thus with what the purpose of the temptation is, to create inner conflict
and to suppress myself and divert attention from the real issues I am facing/walking.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I created a positive relationship
within myself towards the Temptation Character when I was a child
and I was not allowed to eat ice cream or drink soda because I would get sick, and how I would do it anyway and deliberately defy my mom within feeling
left out of for example child
ren’s birthday parties in seeing
the other children eating ice cream and drinking soda and in experiencing it as unfair that I was not allowed to and in feeling
that I was being mistreated, and so I did it anyway and felt good about my own ability to act on my own to get what I wanted and where I felt superior to my mom in that I could defy her and cheat here
– with the consequence of me getting sick and having severe stomach aches, which I can interestingly enough only briefly remember while I remember the temptation and desire to eat candy very well.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate and step into the Temptation Character specifically in moments where I am facing a point of resistance towards facing/changing
myself, where I will utilize the Temptation Character to ‘intercept’ with my facing myself/changing
and so also as a supportive character to the Procrastination Character where I through the Temptation Character, will make sure that I remove myself from that which I am about to Face/Change and as such step into a time
-loop where I will miss a transcendence point deliberately in fear
of facing/changing myself.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of support between the Temptation Character and the Addiction Character, where the Temptation Character will support the Addiction Character, through inserting temptation to do/consume
that which I am addicted to, specifically within and as suppressing myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can ‘fight’ the Temptation Character instead of seeing
, realizing and understanding that if the Temptation Character exists within and as me, it is because I have already surrendered myself to/as it and therefor fighting it is yet another act of self-manipulation where I justify acting according to temptation in experiencing that the temptation “won” and I “lost” the battle – when in fact I had already decided to “lose” so that another part of me can win: self-sabotage.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have created the Temptation Character specifically to intercept and manipulate myself to not Face or Change myself and that I, through participating in the Temptation Character will utilize my own ‘weaknesses’ and ‘weak spots’ as the relationships I’ve created towards specific foods or drugs
or experiences, either as ‘forbidden’ and thereby energetically highlighted in my mind through the conflict
I generate in doing that which I’m not supposed to do or in simply being the mechanism with which I step into the Addiction Character towards points of action/consumption that I’ve already abdicated myself to.
An example is that I am not tempted to drink alcohol as this is not something I’ve ever used or created a specific relationship towards. I have also stopped smoking weed
within and as a directive decision and therefore I don’t experience a temptation to smoke weed
. Even if/when such a thought/image ‘pops up’ I would not follow it because I have severed that relationship.
However, for example towards smoking cigarettes or eating candy, I have not yet made the directive decision to stop the addiction – and therefore the temptation is possible and probable and much more likely to pop up, because I am much more likely to follow those temptations – the more I give in, the more I will experience the temptation. But also the more I fight, the more I will experience the temptation. Only by making a directive decision to stop the addiction within understanding how and why I’ve used the particular addiction and what the consequences
are and the methods I’ve manipulated
myself into following the addiction – can I stop. Because then I stand one and equal with my addiction and can let it go. And as the temptation comes up as urges/images/thoughts
/backchat, I simply don’t participate as I understand what it is and have decided to no longer participate and so slowly but surely the temptation lessens until it dissipates.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as temptation where I have deliberately tempted others to do things, as a support for my character or where I’ve manipulated
others deliberately to tempt me so that I could blame them for tempting me and abdicate self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship towards temptation of inner conflict/friction, where I in how I resonantly react to the word/manifestation of temptation is to want to rebel and in experiencing myself as free
ing myself through acting according to temptation, in perceiving the opposite of temptation, as restraint and limitation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame God for restricting Adam and Eve from eating from the Tree of Knowledge and for placing himself as superior over Adam and Eve and for having placed a temptation as the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden and then blaming Adam and Eve when they ate from the Tree.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to equate temptation with free
ing oneself from restraint of an unfair authority, such as Adam and Eve in their relationship with God or me in my relationship with my mom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I in the moment make the decision to follow my temptation, feel and experience a positive
energetic experience within feeling that I am sinning
and deliberately conning an authority outside of myself that has unfairly restricted me from acting/consuming a particular manifestation where I feel naughty and self-empowered and at the same time
feel a negative energetic experience where I feel guilty and ashamed and are afraid of being punished by the authority outside, separate from me and where I hate the fact that I am just following a dictate without having any directive will, even if it is something that I know is abusive for me and my physical body.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more prone to be tempted/tempting because I am a woman and thereby and within that have accepted and allowed myself to use this belief as yet another excuse/justification for me allowing myself to direct myself within temptation.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to as soon as I have accepted the activated image of a particular point of consumption or action (like eating a bowl of cereal or masturbating
), immediately activate a backchat and a reaction where I fight with myself in internal conversation in ‘knowing’ that I’m not supposed to do/consume
this thing and then manifest a physical/energetic reaction/experience of for example letting my mouth water or feeling a tingle in my vagina, and where the moment ‘happens so fast’ that I did not even ‘notice’ the image and the backchat, but only notice the experience of ‘wanting to do this’ and thus once I am at this stage in the activation process
, I have already made the decision to do it, however long I am able to hold myself off from doing i.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to CONvince myself that “I am not to blame for feeling tempted” because “I couldn’t help myself” and that “I am not responsible for following my temptation experience into action” because “I am the one being tempted, I have no control over it”.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there does not exist any point I feel tempted towards that is not abusive in some way – towards myself, other and the whole and that thereby the Temptation Character functions at the basis of me deliberately abusing
myself in and through existing in an alternate reality with ulterior motives that is NOT
to support myself to stand up as Life in Self-Dignity and Self-Honesty
, but to keep me locked in and as the mind, in complete self-suppression and indignity and abdication of self-responsibility.
(I will in my next post continue with the self-corrective and commitment statements)