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How is being a people pleaser the opposite of caring about the lives of others? What is the secret behind being a people pleaser? How do we stop?

This is a continuation of the following series:

  1. Everybody Loves Me – I Am a Star! DAY 79
  2. If They Don’t See Me, does that mean I’m Not Here? DAY 80
  3. Intermission with the Comparison Character: DAY 81
  4. If a Tree Falls in a Forest and No One is Around to Hear it, Does it Make a Sound? DAY 82
  5. Lost am I in Light Supernal, yet on that Light I Turn my Back: DAY 83
  6. Adults Rotten Values Becomes The Men Children are Made of: DAY 84
  7. Redefining The Word Attention: DAY 85
  8. The Showing Off Character: DAY 86
  9. Oneness According to The Jealousy Character: DAY 87
  10. Desire to Connect/Fear of not Connecting with Others: DAY 88
  11. The Key to Connecting with Other People: DAY 89
  12. The People Pleaser Character: DAY 90
  13. Who is Pleased by A People-Pleaser? DAY 91
  14. Who Will I Be if I Stop Living to Please? DAY 92
 I commit myself to stop participating in positive energetic experiences that I’ve generated from participating in the people pleaser character based on defining people pleasing as positive
So – when and as I see that I am experiencing a want/need/desire to please another, I stop within and as myself. I look at whether the consideration of the other is practical and if it’s not I stop myself from participating further.

When and as I see that I’ve already stepped into the people pleaser character and that I am experiencing a positive energetic experience because I perceive/believe/experience myself as having successfully accomplished in pleasing another, I stop and breathe.

I commit myself to let go of and release the positive energetic definition of pride and self-satisfaction I have created towards the people pleaser character

I commit myself to let go of and stop participating in the belief that it is good and positive to please people, because I have seen, realized and understood that being a people pleaser is not about pleasing others in fact, as what one is pleasing in another is their characters and the entire point in being a people pleaser is to please one’s own self-interest in generating positive energetic experiences as well as pleasing one’s own fear of not surviving in/through social life

I see, realize and understand that I’ve resisted and refused to step out of and let go of the people pleaser character, because I’ve liked it and wanted to be it and felt successful within and as it and enjoyed the attention and positive energetic experiences that I’ve generated through experiencing myself as pleasing others AND because I have feared facing myself without the people pleaser character as who I will be if I don’t have the ‘social navigation system’ through/with/as the people pleaser character

I see, realize and understand that I’ve made the excuse and justification for myself that if I don’t step into the people pleaser character, I will be rude to others and thus ‘wrong’ and people won’t like me and I won’t be able to effectively navigate in social situations – all based on memories from when I was a child, where I experienced myself socially incapable and made the decision to become sociable

I see, realize and understand that I’ve created the people pleaser personality when I realized that people like people who please others and who are nice and friendly and so I deliberately constructed this character through observing others and assumed it for myself perfectly aware that it was not real – yet I believed that I had to make it real as I believed and accepted that who I was, was a danger to my own survival and that the only way I could ever be accepted by others were if I would please them and so I became this character to the extend where I forgot and denied that it was in fact a character that I had deliberately designed and assumed for myself to survive

I see, realize and understand that I have based my existence on survival in social situations where I have compromised and submitted and subjected myself to the rules of social situations of society, in accepting these as real and really as that which determines life and death, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that social rules of society are constructed and designed from within human beings minds and have in no way anything to do with practicality or common sense as it demands that people lie to each other and to themselves and compromise themselves and follow these arbitrary rules of being polite and friendly where no one is self-honest or expressing themselves in self-honesty

Therefore, I commit myself to stop participating in social rules from a starting-point of valuing them as real, yet I see, realize and understand that I cannot simply step out of the social rules as we’ve created a world system where our survival is dependent upon us following these rules and so I commit myself to follow the social rules and walk-with them for a moment, yet not define myself according to them or compromise myself within following them out of fear of not surviving

I commit myself to stop and delete the memory of myself as a child, where I experienced/felt/believed/accepted myself to be socially awkward and not understanding the social rules of society – believing that everyone else understands the social rules and are natural within their participation and so accepted that there’s something wrong with me

I commit myself to stop fearing not fitting into to groups and relationships with other human beings, as I see, realize and understand that everyone is the same and we’ve created a veil of a collective reality that we have agreed on is real, even though it is a construct of/as our minds

I commit myself to, when I am with others, stop focusing all my attention on my words, within and as strategically placing my words in such a way that I am amusing/pleasing to the other and they are amused by or pleased with me and 2) stop focusing on my gestures and facial expressions so that I appear open and caring and friendly to another through using smiles and eye contact and touch and an open body language to deliberately signal to another that I am not a danger and 3) stop focusing on observing the others reactions/responses through their words – from a starting-point of fearing not to survive and accepting myself as inept at functioning socially. Yet I see, realize and understand that I can utilize the skills that I’ve developed based on this character in effectively placing myself in social situations yet not define myself according to it or derive any form of experience from it, but to simply walk-with the system as it currently exists where interacting with others in certain ways is required.

I commit myself to let go of the fear of not being able to effectively assess a social situation, where I fear that I might say something wrong and people will laugh at me or think I am weird or a loser and will then not speak with me and I won’t have any friends and people will see me for ‘who I really am’ as that which I perceive/believe/experience and accept myself as underneath the people pleaser character as unsociable and awkward

Because I see, realize and understand, first of all, that I am fully capable of assessing any social situation, as everyone is exactly the same as me and if not, I can learn and secondly that even if people do ridicule me, that this is not something that define me or influence me or change me – and that people ridicule and are assholes to each other, because that’s the system we’ve created of competition and cruelty – and I can simply stop participating within and as it, through remaining here and bringing myself back to breath

I see, realize and understand that an aspect of how and why I’ve created the people pleaser character, is because of how I saw my mother pleasing others but also how she was not effective at interacting with others and how others expressed that they did not like her and so I ‘evolved’ the people pleaser character through making the decision to NOT be like my mother or make her mistakes, based on an experience of fear within and as seeing how my mother failed at interacting effectively with others

When and as I am stepping into a social situation with other people, to as soon as I see and experience myself wanting to step into the people pleaser character, to stop and remain here within and as my human physical body, in breathing and accordingly simply express myself here within and as what is required of me in interacting with others

I see, realize and understand that I’ve never actually had a genuine interest in the best for others, myself or for all because all I’ve cared about is pleasing others as they would want to be pleased and within how I would experience myself as pleased with myself when I was able to successfully please others

So – I commit myself to develop actual real care for others, as the people I interact with in my immediate environment and all of existence, from first developing real care for myself in stopping allowing myself to compromise myself to/within/as the social norms of society based on fear

I see, realize and understand that the positive relationships I’ve created towards others were in fact never real and we did never really care about each other as we’ve merely supported each other’s characters

And so – I commit myself to stop wanting to be friends and friendly with other people and wanting them to like me and to stop participating in relationships with others of mutual dependence and support of each other’s characters – and I commit myself to only participate within social rules from a starting-point of effectively placing myself in the world-system to support myself and everyone else

I see, realize and understand that, because I have focused my entire life, time and energy on creating successful relationships and interaction with others, I have completely neglected and disregarded to create an effective relationship with myself of integrity and self-trust because I immediately rejected who I was in the totality of myself when it became clear to me that I did not have the skills to function socially – not seeing, realizing or understanding that everyone is in the same boat and simply create a veil as ‘reality’ in our collective agreement of pretend where everyone believes that everyone else has got it under control, while in fact we’re all shitscared.

So – I commit myself to develop a relationship with myself of integrity and self-trust as I realize, see and understand that the relationship with myself is the starting-point of my relationships with others and with the world as a whole in establishing a new way of living that is not based on stupid social rules that only has the purpose of keep us lying to ourselves and each other – but where we live together in equality and oneness in and through an Equal Money System where we establish real care and real consideration and don’t have to create strategic characters to interact through because we stand equal and one in our relationship with each other as we do in ourselves.

Suggested blogs to read in conjunction with this blog series:

http://atruthseekersjourneyintolife.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/day-one-hundred-and-thirteen-a-journey-into-life-im-a-good-person-character/

http://fidelisspies.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-65-being-good-person-is-actually.html

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

 

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