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Why does it feel so important to please others? Why do I resist giving up on being a people pleaser? Who will I be without the people pleaser character?

This is a continuation to the following:

  1. Everybody Loves Me – I Am a Star! DAY 79
  2. If They Don’t See Me, does that mean I’m Not Here? DAY 80
  3. Intermission with the Comparison Character: DAY 81
  4. If a Tree Falls in a Forest and No One is Around to Hear it, Does it Make a Sound? DAY 82
  5. Lost am I in Light Supernal, yet on that Light I Turn my Back: DAY 83
  6. Adults Rotten Values Becomes The Men Children are Made of: DAY 84
  7. Redefining The Word Attention: DAY 85
  8. The Showing Off Character: DAY 86
  9. Oneness According to The Jealousy Character: DAY 87
  10. Desire to Connect/Fear of not Connecting with Others: DAY 88
  11. The Key to Connecting with Other People: DAY 89
  12. The People Pleaser Character: DAY 90
  13. Who is Pleased by A People-Pleaser? DAY 91

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a people pleaser and within and as that experience a positive energetic experience within and as myself in defining being a people pleaser as something positive, wherein in defining myself as a people pleaser feel proud of myself for being pleasing to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as successful when and as I experience that I am able to please others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist/refuse stepping out of and letting go of the people pleaser character because of how I’ve defined myself within and as the character as positive and good

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to adhere to and believe that doing good to others in pleasing them is a positive thing to do and be and therefore experience it as ‘wrong’ that I should let go of and step out of the people pleaser character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about and enjoy being a people pleaser where, when I feel/experience/perceive/believe that I am pleasing others, I generate a positive energetic experience inside myself where I feel warm and satisfied with myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to refuse/resist and not want to let go of the positive energetic experience I generate within and as myself when I feel/experience/perceive/believe that I am pleasing others

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that if/when I let go of and step out of the people pleaser character, that people will no longer be pleased with me, because I no longer focus on pleasing them and that I as such will not be pleased with myself because I’ve defined myself according to my pleasing others

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create a people pleaser personality when I realized that people like people who please others and who are nice and friendly and so I deliberately constructed this character through observing others and assumed it for myself perfectly aware that it was not real – yet I believed that I had to make it real as I believed and accepted that who I was, was a danger to my own survival and that the only way I could ever be accepted by others were if I would please them and so I became this character to the extend where I forgot and denied that it was in fact a character that I had deliberately designed and assumed for myself to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need the people pleaser character as a ‘suit’ of a particular awareness to my surroundings that I step into, to effectively assess the social setting I am in and accordingly change myself to fit in and to please the people I am with – specifically based on the memory of myself as a child NOT fitting into social settings and feeling awkward and experiencing that I am saying the wrong things at the wrong times and that I don’t understand/comprehend or follow the social rules that are required to function in society

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of myself as a child where I experienced myself as NOT fitting into social settings and feeling awkward and experiencing that I am saying the wrong things at the wrong times and that I don’t understand/comprehend or follow the social rules that are required to function in society and how I experienced extensive fear because I perceived /experienced and believed that the social reality of friends, strangers, family and adults were ALL my life, where all there was to life, were the most important part of life

I forgive myself that I, in the moment of realizing that I did not understand ‘timing’ in social situations about what to say when and to whom, because of how I experienced myself as being ridiculed and rejected by my peers, made a decision to learn ‘the rules of the game’ of social behavior and perfect myself within and as that, so to never stand in such a position again where I did not understand how to behave so as to fit in – and consequently created the people pleaser character based on this as a sub-character in a character network of effectively creating relationships with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I am with others, to focus all my attention on 1) my words, strategically placing my words in such a way that I am amusing/pleasing to the other and they are amused by or pleased with me, 2) on my gestures and facial expressions so that I appear open and caring and friendly to another through using smiles and eye contact and touch and an open body language to deliberately signal to another that I am not a danger, 3) on observing the others reactions/responses through their words and gestures – not ever considering that they could be playing the exact same game as me and as such that we together create a false interaction based on fear that we’re both upholding through the belief that there is a real norm of social behavior and not just characters that we deliberately step into to survive

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I’m not able to or capable of effectively assessing a social situation, that I might say something wrong and people will laugh at me or think I am weird or a loser and will then not speak with me and I won’t have any friends and people will see me for ‘who I really am’ as that which I perceive/believe/experience and accept myself as underneath the people pleaser character as unsociable and awkward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and design the people pleaser character, after having seen my mother as the people pleaser character, but also within seeing how my mother’s people pleaser character is not effective and how she got into trouble with others, because she did not effectively participate in social situations and so I created the people pleaser character in seeing what NOT to do in my mother and accordingly change the character so as to accommodate for that which my mom was unable to be effective within and as such evolved the character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically step into, assume and activate the people pleaser character as soon as I am in a new social situation, where I will align myself to the social situation I am in where I will see how I am required to be in order to fit in and be liked and thus be successful within that social situation, where I in school will be one type of people pleaser in for example make funny remarks and make people laugh and with my partner’s mother I will be catering to her physical needs within making food and being quiet when she sleeps

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is important and vital to please others and within and as holding onto that believe, have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I don’t want to give up the people pleaser character, in believing that without the people pleaser character I won’t be able to effectively navigate in my interaction with other people and will be rude and uncivilized – not seeing, realizing or understanding that the starting-point of the people pleaser character is fear and self-interest – not a genuine interest in the best for others, myself or for all because all I’ve cared about is pleasing others as they would want to be pleased and within how I would experience myself as pleased with myself when I was able to successfully please others

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have never pleased others in fact and that all I have pleased is a social norm systems and characters based on fear, in myself and in others where all I have cared about was my own survival and my own energetic experiences

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that the starting-point of the people pleaser character is fear and not effectively interacting with others as the interaction is not based on self-honest self-expression but on strategic behavior to manipulate others and myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I have never in fact been a people pleaser, except for in my own mind and in my tacit agreement with other human beings of “you please me, I please you” where others would play along and support my people pleaser character, as I supported their characters of for example wanting to be supported or cared for or pleased exactly as I’ve done myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was truly caring about the well-being of others when I stepped into the people pleaser character, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I only ‘cared’ about the wellbeing of others in as much as it benefitted myself in generating positive energetic experiences from within defining a people pleaser as positive and good

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that if I truly cared about the wellbeing of others I would not have to step into a character to care, I would not have to participate in thoughts to show I care, I would not have to be strategic to fit in and I would care about the wellbeing of all as one as equal as life and not only about those through which I can play out my character of being a people pleaser and as such define myself based on a positive energetic experience

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that I must change and alter all of myself and create strategically designed characters that I can step into and assume so as to survive in my world and my reality within and as having defined relationships with other people as ‘life and death’ combined with how I did not experience myself socially adept and as such believed and accepted that ‘who’ I was, was inherently not good enough and had to be changed/altered/eradicated were I to stand a chance to ‘make it’ in this world, defining ‘making it’ first and foremost as being successful in my relationships with others

I forgive myself that I, within investing all my time, all my energy, all my focus on relationships and interaction with others, did not form a relationship with myself at all in any way whatsoever of integrity and self-trust – because I immediately rejected who I was in the totality of myself when it became clear to me that I did not have the skills to function socially – not seeing, realizing or understanding that everyone is in the same boat and simply create a veil as ‘reality’ in our collective agreement of pretend where everyone believes that everyone else has got it under control, while in fact we’re all shitscared.

In my next post, I’ll continue with the self-corrective application.

Suggested blogs to read in conjunction with this blog series:

http://atruthseekersjourneyintolife.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/day-one-hundred-and-thirteen-a-journey-into-life-im-a-good-person-character/

http://fidelisspies.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-65-being-good-person-is-actually.html

Give yourself the daily gift of reading the blogs from Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

 

 

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