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I am continuing from yesterday’s post within investigating animal crushing and how I’ve accepted and allowed animal crushing to exist. Suggest to in conjunction with the points in this post to read this blog by Cerise Poolman and my blog post about being an animal lover. If you don’t know what animal crushing is, you can read about it here. I am here looking at the different dimensions involved in the manifestation of animal crushing and what it represents and the characters through which it is being acted out in the world-system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a child, see boys deliberately pulling the legs off of spiders for ‘fun’ and instead of insisting that they stop, instead of assisting and supporting them to see and realize what they are accepting and allowing, accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of them hurting me and fear of being excluded for not being ‘cool’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, define, experience, perceive and accept boys/male/men as superior to me within and as what I perceive as them having an expression that is more assertive, more mentally and physically strong and more certain of themselves than me

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, define, experience, perceive and accept myself – within defining myself as a girl/female/woman – as less than and inferior to boys/males/men, within and as comparing myself to them and as such see, perceive, define, experience and accept myself as less mentally and physically strong, less expressive, less assertive and less certain of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that my interpretation of the boys/males/men’s expression as being superior to me, was based on me comparing my expression with their expression and within separating what I perceived as their expression from my expression and as such made myself believe and accept that I was less than them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise the well-being of the spiders I saw being abused by the boys, by accepting and allowing myself to go into and submit myself to an experience and acceptance of myself as inferior, through which I allowed myself to submit myself to fear of being hurt and harmed equal to the spiders I saw being abused within interpreting the boys expression as superior to mine

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide that my self-interest and fear of not surviving is more important and that my life and safety is more important than the life of the spiders I saw being tortured by the boys when I was a child

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand within and as self-trust and self-stability in seeing that what the boys were doing in pulling the legs of the spiders where not acceptable or best for all and as such did everything in my power to stop them from continuing to abuse the spiders – and that I instead gave in to fear and gave up and simply left and forgot about the spiders and the abuse – deliberately within and as justifying for myself that I could not do anything about it, because the boys were stronger than me, but really I submitted myself to fear and inferiority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately forget about the spiders being abused and as such never again speak up or even allow myself to see the abuse of spiders, because I had accepted myself as powerless towards the abuse – and as such:

I forgive myself that I, within having accepted and allowed my decision to submit myself to fear of not surviving within accepting myself as inferior to the boys/male/men – have directly and indirectly accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as the manifestation of animal crushing, as a direct outflow and consequence of me not directing myself to make sure that the abuse against animals stop – and my submission of myself to self-interest in my fear of not surviving

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed animal crushing and deliberate torture and abuse of animals, for no other reason that sexual gratification and financial profit to exist within and through my deliberate ignorance of it and within my deliberate abdication of self-responsibility for the animals of this world and for the development of human nature as I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as it – and abdicate myself to it through fear of not surviving, only caring about my own self-interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that a manifestation such as animal crushing and the deliberate torture and abuse of animals for sexual gratification and financial profit – exists because of my failure to support the animal kingdom as equals and to direct myself as my human nature to stand and live within and as the principles of what is best for all and through my deliberate and direct abdication of my self-responsibility for, of and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that the only possible way I could ever accept or allow such a manifestation as animal crushing to exist, is by either participating in it and accepting it as providing me some form of value, in the form of sexual gratification, entertainment or financial profit – OR through me pretending like it does not exist, forgetting that it exists, forgetting that I created it, ignoring it and specifically within and as separating myself from it, through creating and assuming a character for myself of ‘benevolence’ where I believe that I am ‘above’ such abuse – as indicated by my experience of shock and dismay when I saw the images of animals being crushed – which shouldn’t surprise me, because it is merely another outflow consequences of the world that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the creator of animal crushing and the deliberate torture and abuse of animals for no other reason than sexual gratification, entertainment and financial profit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the human nature that allows such a manifestation as animal crushing to exist without doing anything about it and the human nature that experiences as sexual turn-on, feels entertained or who deliberately derives financial profit from the abuse and torture of animals

Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, understand and admit to myself and remember – that the human nature that allows the deliberate torture and abuse of animals to exist and do nothing about it, is MY HUMAN NATURE and that the human nature that derives a sexual turn-on, feels entertained or who deliberately derives financial profit from the torture and abuse of animals, is MY HUMAN NATURE and that the only fact that I do not see, experience or admit that to myself – is because I have separated myself from myself as the creator of the manifestation of deliberate torture and abuse of animals and because I have deliberately lied to myself about ‘who’ and ‘what’ I am as human nature, as separate from such a human nature that would accept and allow animals to be deliberately tortured and abused

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I have made such a manifestation as animals being deliberately crushed/tortured/abused for sexual gratification/financial profit necessary for me to face myself and see and realize myself as the creator of what is here and self-responsible for what is here

Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow animals to suffer in pain and agony for no other reason but me having refused to face myself and take self-responsibility for, of and as myself as the creator of what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience and accept that I don’t know or see how animal crushing is directly linked to my acceptance of myself – instead of simply accepting and allowing myself to see and admit that it is within the basic foundation of who and what I’ve accepted myself as, within and as the mind, in separation from what is here as life as the physical – in who and what and how’ve I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become as living and existing in self-interest only, in fear of not surviving, in submission to fear, in only caring about my next experience of entertainment, financial profit or sexual/energetic gratification and that as I accept and allow myself to participate within and as myself in this on a daily basis, I support and create and manifest the continuation of the deliberate abuse against animals – because I am the origin point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest and accept myself into and as a character of human nature within, as and through the mind-consciousness system, where I experience a sexual energetic turn-on towards thinking about and looking at images of animals being crushed/tortured/abused

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I look within and as myself at the point of experiencing a sexual turn-on towards images/thoughts about crushing/torturing/abusing animals, to immediately recoil in not wanting to look at this point within and as myself, AS myself – within and as resisting to FACE MYSELF within and as this desire/manifestation

I do not accept or allow myself to recoil from facing myself within and as this point. I refuse to turn my back on myself within and as this point – so I will write it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the experience I feel within and as myself of an energetic/electrical surge of energy through my genitals when I look at images/participate in thoughts of animals being crushed/tortured/abused as ‘good’ and ‘pleasant’ and ‘exhilarating’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, because I have made my own energetic experiences the most important thing in my world, getting pleasant energetic experiences, I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and excuse for myself why it is acceptable for me to purchase, watch, masturbate to and participate within and as deliberate abuse/torture/crushing of animals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience pride and powerfulness over life when I see animals being crushed/tortured/abused in my mind or on images and as such experience myself empowered and invigorated and experience myself as a ‘god’ or ‘master’ over the world and myself

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I experience a want/need/desire to experience myself as powerful over the world and over myself, is because I have accepted and allowed myself to experience, perceive, define and accept myself as powerless and that I am not mastering myself and that I have no direction over myself in the world and like I am a small animal being crushed by the big world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not, see, realize and understand that I am projecting my own experience of powerlessness and my own image of myself in my mind in defining, perceiving and experiencing myself as inferior, like an animal being crushed by a big world-system – onto the animals that I watch being tortured/abused/crushed in my mind and on images and as such attempt to empower myself in my mind, through attempting to overpower my own powerlessness through abusing/torturing/crushing animals so that I can feel better about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself here in and as the physical, into and as a separate mind-dimension where all I care about is my own experience of energy and where I’ve become completely addicted and obsessed with only getting my next fix of energy and where I don’t care about who I have to hurt. I don’t even see that I am hurting other beings, because all that matters to me is getting my next fix of energy/experience/money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that my daily experiences of self-interest, are equal and one to the experiences of self-interest justified to abuse/torture/crush animals – and so that every time I accept or allow myself to make the living statement, through my accepted, decided and allowed participation within and as my world, that the only thing that matters is my experience of and as myself – I am directly and indirectly accepting and allowing the deliberate abuse/torture/crushing against animals to continue

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge the people who make and participate within and as deliberately making images/movies of animals being abused/tortured/crush for money

Within this – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when people are in a situation where they have no food, can’t feed their children, can’t get a job or have no means of supporting themselves, have to be willing to do anything to get money and that if they have an opportunity to make lots of money, they will take it – as survival trumps morals and as such I am only in a position of making ‘moral judgments’ because I already am surviving and have money and have not been in a situation where I was forced to do anything possible to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in my mind as a character of moral judgment, towards the people who deliberately abuse/torture/crush animals for financial profit – instead of placing myself in their shoes and considering what brings a person in such a condition where they make money of the abuse/torture/crushing of animals and how I have contributed and am responsible for a world-system where people are forced to do whatever it takes to survive and make money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that morality is a luxury that only those with money can afford, where those who have to fight to survive has no choice but to do whatever it takes to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that whatever people do to make money is a choice and that everyone can as such make a choice to not make money on something that is abusive – and not see, realize or understand that a choice is a luxury only those with money can afford, while everyone else has no choice but to do whatever it takes to survive – including abusing others if that is what it takes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grasp the opportunity to participate within and as making films that are depicting abuse/torture/crushing of animals within hearing that there is lots of money in it, where all I hear is the word “money” and I see an image of myself buying things, having food, not having to worry about my bills and all I care about is this opportunity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as a world, where beings are forced to do anything possible to survive and make money – and where this is judged by those who already have money as ‘amoral’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that my survival is the only important thing in this world and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a world where all beings care about is either their own survival or their own accumulation of energy/money/experiences and within and as this allow ourselves harm and abuse life to get what we want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as making animal torture/abuse/crush videos and even though I see that it is not best for all and that I am harming these animals and that they are innocent, but I experience and accept that I have no choice and I am willing to do it, because it is an opportunity for me to make money and in that moment, all I care about is money

(I will continue in my next post with self-corrective statements)

Other Journey to Life Blogs on Animals:

Day 31 – It’s Just an Animal: http://agirlsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/day-31-its-just-an-animal/

Day 45: Can we “Own” an Animal ? : http://adirectorjourneystolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-45-can-we-own-animal.html

Day 31: Abandoned Animals: http://cathy4worldequality.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/day-31-abandoned-animals/

Follow the blogs daily at Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk!

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