How does one step out of a character that one has been playing all one’s life? How did we create the characters we play with and within our families? Are these characters of mother/father/child really who we are?
I am currently visiting my mother in Denmark and have not had a stable internet connection until now, so I will be posting my blogs as the internet connection allows it until I get back to Sweden. But what a cool opportunity to investigate the characters that I have lived and accepted myself as in my relationship with my mother. So I will here take a break with the ‘negative experiences character‘ that I have been writing about and write about the mother/daughter characters instead. See extended perspectives below this blog post from other blogs on the family characters.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that I do not play any characters when I am with my mother, and within and as participating in and through that belief have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-deceiver character and a character of superiority in which I participate in the belief that “I don’t play characters” which I have created to hide from myself and cover up the characters that I do play when I am with my mother and who I am, as the characters I have created within and as myself, in my relationship to my mother in my mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create characters that I play specifically in my relationship with my mother, in and through my mind and in my interaction with my mother wherein I define and identify myself as a ‘daughter’ in relation to a ‘mother’ and specifically as ‘my mother’s daughter’ in relation to ‘my mother’ that I have formed, designed and built since I was born and that I have held myself and my mother and our relationship in and as, through the memories of ‘who I am’ with and in relation to my mother and of ‘who’ my mother is with me and in relation to me and separate from me and of how others have seen and spoken about my mother and how she has related to others and from there have assumed ‘fixed characters’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, through my constant and continuous participation, is ‘who’ I am and is ‘who’ my mother is in fact – not seeing, realizing or understanding that the ‘who’ I am as a ‘daughter’ in relation to my mother and thus how I act and experience myself when I am with my mother or when I think or react to my mother through participating in thoughts – are nothing but characters that I have defined myself according to and identified myself as
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest and participate within and as ‘fixed characters’ that I have perceived, defined, experienced, identified and accepted as ‘who’ I am – and thus ‘who’ my mother is, because I have created her as a character in relation to my characters, where I can only live and play and act out my character, if my mother is playing and acting out hers, exactly as she has created her character as a ‘mother’ in relation to me, that she can only play and act out as long as I am participating in my character of being a ‘daughter’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that I have created and manifested the characters of ‘daughter’ and ‘mother’ based on my memories, myths and stories I, as all, have told myself about ‘who’ and what ‘daughters are and ‘who’ and what ‘mothers’ are and accordingly have assumed upon myself as I have been born into and as a female body by a female body and as such accordingly defined and identified and accepted myself as a ‘daughter’ in a relation with the woman whose body has carried me and/or who has taken care of me during my childhood years who I have defined, identified, perceived and accepted as ‘my mother’ and accordingly experienced myself as ‘her daughter’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘daughters’ and thereby myself within and as being born into a female body by a female body, as ‘kind’, ‘loyal’, ‘harmonic’ ‘self-sacrificing’, ‘defiant’, ‘difficult’, ‘self-centered’, ‘helpful’, ‘loving’, ‘dependent (upon the mother)’ and my mother by having given birth to me and other children through and as a female body as ‘loving’, ‘caring’, ‘giving’, ‘soft’, ‘nurturing’, ‘petty’, ‘obsessed’, ‘clean-freak’, ‘weak’, ‘strong’, ‘manipulating’, ‘a victim’, ‘sacrificing’ and as such that I have associated, equated, defined, identified, experienced accepted and thus bound myself and my mother to these character-features simply by the fact that we are born in and as a female body and have given birth through our female bodies to children, never questioning whether we Are these character-features in fact and thus simply accepting them as ‘who we are’ and through participating breath by breath within and as these features as real, have made them real for ourselves and personalized them through our participation and bound ourselves indefinitely to, within and as them and as such have continued through passing them on to our children and them to theirs
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I experience myself as ‘caring’ towards my mother or when I experience my mother as ‘caring’ towards me, that we are merely acting out the characters that we have agreed to, in our relationship with each other and accepted as ‘who’ we are, within and as ourselves and in our relationship with each other, where we are no longer individual expressions of life, equal and one, but instead are existing within and as ‘fixed characters’ as ‘who we are’ through our direct and indirect participation within and as ourselves and with each other, where what we express and experience within and as ourselves and together in our relationship with each other – is not real, but is merely characters we have assumed upon ourselves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within and as an experience of resistance and anger when I experience, perceive and believe that my mother wants and expects me to act in a character that she has assigned to me through me being her daughter, that I have not assigned for myself and as such experience that I am being forced to play a play that I don’t want to play, because it is not in accordance with ‘who’ I have defined, identified or accepted myself as – not seeing, realizing or understanding that I am merely acting out the role as a ‘daughter’ that I have assigned for and agreed to within and as myself and in my relationship with my mother where I act ‘defying’ towards my mother as well as acting within and assuming a character in which I believe that I am ‘better than’ my mother and thereby would lose value and worth, were I to accept the character that she wants me to play, not seeing, realizing or understanding that I am already equal and one to all characters and that there is no character that I am more than or better than because that can only be a character in itself, because I am then separating myself from another as myself into and as a character – as the definition of defining and identifying myself as ‘who I am’ in and as separation of and from myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that a character is ‘who’ and what I am and become and assume and assign myself, when and as I define, identify and accept myself in and as separation of and from myself here as life, as all as one as equal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame my mother, when I am out with her and I hear and see her judging and blaming others and within that experience it as embarrassing and take it personal how my mother ‘acts’ around others, because of ‘who’ I have defined myself as, as bound to my mother, because she has given birth to me and thus believe, perceive and accept that whatever she is and does, is reflected back to me and in fact can threaten my self-defined character as being ‘tolerant’, ‘open-minded’ and ‘kind’ – not seeing ,realizing or understanding that I am exactly the same as my mother and the very fact that I judge and blame my mother shows that what I see as her judgment, is merely me reflecting my own judgment back to myself through projecting it outside separate from me onto another, and that I feel and experience myself threatened by it, because it threatens to expose my judgment-character that I have suppressed and judged as ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ within and as defining and identifying myself as a character of ‘kindness’, ‘tolerance’ and ‘open-mindedness’ wherein and through which I have seen, experienced, believed, defined and accepted myself as superior towards my mother and towards those I considered to be ‘negative’ and ‘narrow-minded’ as less than me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and participate in an experience of anger when I perceive my mother as ‘treating me like a child’ in and through which I experience myself being belittled and diminished by my mother, not seeing, realizing or understanding that I am only able to be diminished or belittled if I have already accepted a character of inferiority such as being a child and how a child has been defined as inferior to and dependent upon an adult as a mother or a father and within and as that, the character of being a mother or a father has become one as a standing as a ‘creator-character’ in how the parents give birth to the child and as such is defined as ‘giving life’ to the child and within that, can ‘create’ the child as they as ‘creator-characters’ see fit and within me defining myself as ‘my mother’s child’ as the character that I have assumed and accepted for myself I have submitted myself to my mother as the creator of me – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it is not my mother who has given me life – because I am life, equal and one with and as my mother and it is life that has given me life and what is ‘given’ from parent to child, is the continuation of the dominion of the mind-consciousness-system as the separation of and from ourselves here as life
I commit myself to stop all characters of child and mother and so when and as I see that I am reacting to my mother in defining or defying myself as my mother’s child – I stop and I breathe and I realize that I am here as life, one and equal and that I don’t have to play a character to interact with my mother as an equal
I commit myself to establish a relationship with my mother of equality where we are simply two beings here, existing as equals and I realize that for me to create such a relationship where I am equal to my mother as life, I must delete and stop all characters that I have accepted and allowed myself to play and that I have accepted and allowed my mother to play within defining ourselves as ‘child’ and ‘mother’
I commit myself to show that children are not created by their parents and that children are not given life by their parents, because we are life already equal and one and it is life itself that has given life and that what is given by parents to children is the continuation of the mind-consciousness-system, where, within how we have accepted the parents as the creators of the children, have submitted and subjected ourselves to the definition given to us by our parents – which is not life, but the mind, in, of and as separation from ourselves here as life, exactly as their parents did before them and their parents before them and as such I denounce anything and everything that is not standing within the principle of what is best for life and I do no longer accept or allow myself to accept whatever my mother gives me or defines me as, simply because she is my mother and I am her child
I commit myself to support my mother to stop all characters of being a mother – though I realize that I, at this point cannot do this directly, meaning where I speak openly to my mother about motherhood being a character that is she merely playing and that is not real, because she has not walked the process that I have walked – so instead I do so, by stopping all my characters that I play with my mother and through this invite her to participate in dropping all her characters and showing her and myself that it is not necessary for us to play characters
I commit myself to investigate and expose all characters of ‘mother’/’father’ and ‘child’ and to as I see them as I see myself participating in them, stop and delete them, one by one until no character is left and the beings who in separation of and from ourselves here as life, defined themselves as ‘mother’/’father’ and ‘child’ are simply standing here directly as equal and one beings, where the point of parenthood and parenting is merely a physical, practical manifestation of how children are born into the world and where parents primary responsibility is to support the child to develop in a way that is best for all, which is only possible if the parents themselves stand for and live in a way that is best for all
I commit myself to support parents to stop defining and accepting themselves as characters of ‘mother’ and ‘father’ wherein and from which they have defined themselves as ‘creators’ of the ‘child’ and as such as superior towards the child and within that have assumed a ‘creator-character’ over the child, through which they have justified ‘creating’ – as in manipulating, defining and accepting the child as their creation that they can create in any way they see fit, to see, realize and understand that they have not in fact been giving life to the child, because they themselves exist as separated into and as the mind and as such all they have given to the child, is the continuation of the mind-consciousness-system that they themselves have been given and accepted by their parents in accepting their parents as the ‘creators’ of them – and as such we stop the cycle of ‘creation’ which is not real creation in fact, because we as life has been submitted and subjected to, as and within the mind and it is merely the consequential outflow of that first separation that we have recreated over and over again
For extended perspectives on who have have become as ‘characters’ I suggest to read the following blogs:
The family Characters:
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