Today I had a chat with someone who I have not seen or talked to for a while. In speaking with this person, I could see that I in my mind have projected images of this person as being superior to me, more than me. It has all been based in imagination, because when I spoke to the person, they were here as they are with me, speaking, sharing equally. Previously today I had been looking at this exact point of how me projecting myself into someone else’s life in my mind, what they are doing, how they see me, how happy and successful they are – has become a literal Achilles heel. What I’ve found is that the mind will deliberately stir up shit, to get us to separate ourselves from what is here, which is our human physical bodies, but also from the physical process of walking out of the mind and into the physical, individually as well as collectively. So while I am busy pre-occupying myself in the mind being “somewhere else”, somewhere fictional because I literally made it up – the world is going by, breath by breath and I am not here to steer it as myself with common sense, I am not here in and with and as my human physical body, because I’ve created a fictional space in my mind from where I time travel to distant places and times, to the past, to the future – anywhere but here. And so my conversation with this person brought me back to here, checking the proportions of my mindfuck. The mind will ‘hit us where it hurts’ – what that means is that the mind shows us, through our weakness in which we follow the mind in its escapades – in its escaping here – “who we are” as who and what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, meaning that if I allow myself to believe and accept the images that pop up – images that I have created but that is “living their own life” in that they simply run their own course without my direction or intervention – it is because I have created a relationship with, within and as those thoughts – I am identifying myself in and as them. It is a game of tag and I am always IT. So what I have done in those moments, where projected images of this person pops up, is to relate them back to myself and create, manifest and participate within and as an inner conflict based on comparison and competition, playing pin pong with polarities over and over again. And what is fascinating is that when the thought as projection pops up, it is alluring – I want to “go there”. So the generation of friction based on internal conflict, is like candy for the mind. It lives off it – it exists because of it. And only when I am face to face with this person do I see that they are NOT the image I had created in my mind, of some kind of superhero, standing in stark contrast to “poor, old, little, wretched me”. So that is furthermore a backward “reward” that I get out of participating in this mind-job game: To justify my acceptance of myself as useless and worthless. Why? Because then I don’t have to make an effort to change. “Why would I? Someone else is doing fine; everyone is doing fine without me. I’ll just silently slip out the backdoor into the night where no one will see me or miss me and dwell in pity “safe from harm”. But that is not how it works. There is no escape. There is no backdoor one can slip through. Every time we slip through that back door, we’ll end right back where we started, at the “party” in our minds – the party from hell that no one would want to go to if they are common sense, self-dignified living human beings. So – this is the point I will be working with in this writing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and therefore accept that when I picture people in my mind, when I project myself somewhere else in space or time in my mind, that what I am seeing and looking at is in fact the real physical reality – instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the images I see, the voices I hear – are figures of my own imagination and that when I accept and allow myself to participate in and as this projection, I am separating myself from myself here in and as the physical and into a delusional mind-space
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as time- and space-travel in my mind as projections into the past, the future and other places than here, not realizing, seeing or understanding that this is exactly the point with time travel in the mind – to be anywhere but here – and as such that every time I accept and allow myself to participate within and as time-travel in my mind, it is a deliberate tactic of the mind to ensure that I remain within and as the mind and separate and separated from myself here, in and as the physical
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I allow myself to time- and space-travel in my mind, to believe that it is important and that I can somehow get somewhere participating within and as this time travel – that it has a purpose and as such keep participating within and as it over and over again in attempting to “get there” – to get a part of me back, to figure it out, to sort it out – not realizing, seeing or understanding that I cannot sort myself in the mind and that the very manifestation of “getting there” is indicating that I am separating myself from myself here, trying to get somewhere else, be with/as someone else.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that when I participate within and as comparison in competition in my mind, it is always towards something or someone in my mind – not the actual real person or point and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own inner competition out of myself onto my physical reality and to other people through which I separate myself from myself, preoccupying myself in mental projections of someone else, somewhere else that I compare myself to and that I compare to myself and as such decide who I am accordingly as either a winner or a loser and as such generate energy within myself through the friction I am accepting and allowing myself to create and participate within and as – in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that I in my definition of myself as a winner or a loser, in participating in competition through comparison in my mind through participating in projections as a time- and space-travel and as such generate friction through inner conflict, has been with the purpose of generate energy for the mind to feed off of.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that we as human beings are here in and as the physical and that we do not exist in each other’s minds – that no one exist in my mind, that I cannot access another person or place in my mind and see who they are or where they are – because my mind is totally and entirely my own creation and is reflecting me, as who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, in and as separation of and from myself
I commit myself to stop participation in space- time-travelling in my mind where I project myself out of myself, believing that what I see is real, when in fact all I am seeing is my own mind, as who and how and what I have accepted myself within and as
I commit myself to, when and as I see and realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as space- time-travelling in my mind – to immediately stop and bring myself back here.
I commit myself to share how the mind works in terms of space- and time-travelling as projections and to expose how this is created with the purpose of generating energy as fuel for the mind to feed off of through the inner conflict that we accept and allow ourselves to participate within and as
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