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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself the opportunity and apparent ”free choice” to make a decision between standing up for life and going back to my “old life” and my “old self” – not realizing that within accepting and allowing myself to give myself the opportunity in the belief that I was making a “free choice” to decide between standing up for life or not, I was in fact not making a decision at all but merely accepting and allowing myself to remain existing within and as subjected to, within and as the mind and not accepting or allowing myself to stand up for and as life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand the full scope of the consequences of me giving myself a “free choice” to not stand up for and as life would have – for me, my process, my human physical body and for the walking together as all as one as equal as life in stopping the mind and standing up for and as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my decision to not stand up as life and instead go back to my old life within and as a perception and belief that I was making a “free choice” and that I because of this was making myself “free” by making this decision when in fact it was the exact opposite as I was making the decision to remain enslaved within and as and to the mind in and as my idea of freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply self-forgiveness on making the decision to not stand up as life, yet not allowing myself to let go – and stop existing within and as that decision, realizing that I’ve in that moment of making that decision, abdicated myself to the mind in/as a desire for freedom and behind that fear of stop existing within and as energy in the fear and belief that I would stop existing if I stopped participating in energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as resistance towards writing this point out and facing myself within and as it through manifesting tiredness and an experience of “stuckness” instead of accepting and allowing myself to embrace myself within and as the experience of resistance in gratefulness in seeing, realizing and understanding that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest resistance as a self-defense-mechanism of and as the mind, wherein I as the mind am protecting myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in making that decision, which wasn’t even a real decision because I simply allowed myself to remain enslaved within, as and to the mind – I abdicated myself, my own process and my own direction of, over and as myself and that I am still living in and as that decision – because I have not accepted or allowed myself to face myself within and as this decision and STOP and change my starting point of deciding who and what and how I am and how I am going to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to live within and as the decision to go back to my old life and as such make the decision to not stand up for life, yet having accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into not accepting or allowing myself to realize this and as such have accepted and allowed myself to remain within and as this decision, because I have not accepted or allowed myself to face myself within and as self-honesty in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to return to my old life and my old self specifically because of fear of letting go of myself within and as energy and how I have been existing in generating energy through getting rewards through which I can generate positive experiences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain within and as regret of the decision I made in the belief that I was making a “free choice”, yet at the same time have accepted and allowed myself to remain within and as this decision, making the decision over and other by not accepting or allowing myself to STOP – face myself in self-honesty and stand up here to stand up as life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand how I have valued rewards through, as and within energy over life and as such and within that, have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself as life – claiming that I am energy only, that I am a full and completely dedicated slave to energy and as such have accepted and allowed myself to remain completely and totally enslaved to energy – which was actually a decision made within and as fear – where I experienced fear of giving myself up as energy and within accepting and allowing myself to submit myself to fear, instead of directing myself to stop the fear, have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was making the decision FOR me against something/someone that I was perceiving as a threat, when in fact I was doing it for, as and within the mind only and as such not FOR me in any way what so ever, as I within the decision to make, was in fact to separate myself from myself here, abdicate myself here and as such dishonor myself as life and dishonor life as a whole – by claiming that my personal “free choice”  is more important than what is best for all life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to in that moment, where I experienced fear of losing myself as energy, within realizing that if I continued, I would never again get to experience getting a reward, stop and support myself, see, realize and understand what I was accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as and as such stop myself and bring myself back here in self-honesty

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand and forgive myself that I did in fact not understand the scope of what I was accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as, yet within how I had accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a deceptive unawareness (not-hereness) have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself in the dark – because I WANTED to do what I wanted to do and as such deceived myself by being deliberately self-dishonest so that I could justify for myself making the decision to abdicate my process of standing up in self-honesty – not realizing, seeing or understanding how I was within that in fact abdicating and submitting myself to fear, within and as experiencing that my fear was justified and that I was protecting myself through acting according to fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that by accepting and allowing myself to abdicate myself to the fear of never again getting an energetic reward – and subsequently create, manifest and participate within and as back-chat in convincing myself to go back to my old life and my old self, I in fact abdicate my opportunity to stand up as life, I abdicated the opportunity to receive an actual and real reward in the form of transforming myself from a slave existing subjected to, as and within fear to a living, breathing being standing for, within and as what is best for all – and as such participate in the transformation of life as a whole submitted and subjected to the mind to a life that is best for all, here, physical, real

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that since the moment of that decision and how I did not change my decision or stop and face myself in self-honesty – have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a time-loop, where I have been repeating this same decision over and over and over, not accepting or allowing myself to let go or stand up or be self-honest and as such have accepted and allowed myself to submit and subject myself to and within this decision, where I believed that I acted according to protecting my “free choice” – when in fact I was protecting myself as fear, as the mind as existing dependent upon energy to sustain myself as the mind

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that my tendency towards addiction and emotional turmoil and inner rollercoaster rides of energy and the pain I experience in and as my physical body as a consequence – is all because of this submission and subjection of and as myself to energy, based on the fear of losing myself as energy – within having accepted and defined myself as energy only and as such confirming this through making the decision to follow my “free choice” instead of PUSHING and BREATHING through the fear – in seeing in self-honesty what it is that I am accepting and allowing and as such have accepted and allowed myself to postpone and procrastinate my process of standing up as life, while in fact layering myself (as lawyering up) even further into and as self-deception within and as creating an additional layer of regret, remorse and self-blame

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I experience resistance and give into resistance and fear within participating in something in which I receive no energetic reward and deceive myself into believing that I can only participate if I create an energetic reward – have accepted and allowed myself to confirm the decision for myself and as such accept and allow myself to remain within and as a time-loop of deliberate self-separation through abdicating myself to, as and within fear

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand that every time I allow myself to participate in energy-rewards,  I am accepting and allowing myself to draw substance from my physical body and as such deplete the physical body of life, literally killing myself through eating myself  – I am accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself here and as such abdicate myself here  – only so that I can remain existing dependent upon energy to sustain me in and as the mind – the mind that is the very manifestation of my separation of and from myself here

I commit myself to investigate and reveal all points of participation and acceptance and allowances of and as myself that is based on getting and wanting energetic rewards to sustain myself in and as the mind and where I experience resistance towards simply moving and expressing myself here without getting energy out of it – and to stop participation in all such participation, one by one – and as such support myself effectively to remain here, in and as breath – exactly as I had the opportunity to do in the moment where I made a decision not to – to this time, and how ever many times it takes to make the decision – to do so, until  I stand clear here

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, get to know and understand the mind, as who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – in detail, so that I can ensure that I will not miss such a moment again, where I allowed myself to abdicate myself to fear in a seemingly “small moment” – yet a moment that determined my process where I allowed myself to sabotage and compromise myself here

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, when I am faced with and within a moment of experiencing a desire for an energetic reward or when I experience resistance towards applying myself without getting energy or generating energy – to stop and breathe and push through

I commit myself to support myself to in every moment, breath by breath, one breath at time, walk my decision to stand up for life as myself as who and what I have not yet accepted or allowed myself to live or exist within and as, because I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself to the mind.

Suggest to follow the blogs daily at Creation’s Journey to Life, Earth’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk

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