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I am continuing from yesterday’s writing to open up the pattern initiated within and as the question: “Will I ever be good enough?” – based on the belief, definition, experience and acceptance of myself as not good enough. Here I am opening up the dimension of the question/belief/acceptance/definition/experience of having projected myself as “not good enough” onto others as that is how the question within me is formulated as something that I am not myself creating or responsible for – and bring it back to self so that I can sort myself out and stop existing in the acceptance of myself as “not good enough”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, manifest, design, accept and experience myself within a definition of/as myself according to the question: “Will I ever be good enough for THEM?”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience, define myself as and accept that I will never be good enough for them – them being my peers, friends, co-workers and the world in its entirety based on me having espoused my mother’s belief, definition, experience and acceptance of herself as intrinsically not good enough – for them – as her peers, friends, co-workers and the world in its entirety – as my own

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, perceive,  experience and accept myself as an individual, separate and separated from a ‘group’ outside, external, separate from me that I within me, have defined as “them” – being everyone else – not ever seeing, realizing or understand that “them” was a projection of my own acceptance of myself as not good enough, that I projected out, separate from me onto the world as my friends, peers, co-workers and the world in its entirety as I perceived it  in opposition TO me – while in fact, in “them” I was merely reflecting back to myself, my own separation in/of/from/as myself as the acceptance of/as myself as “Not good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame, judge and despise “them” for what I perceived as “them” deciding that I was “not good enough” – while in fact, me being “not good enough” has always and only been my own acceptance, judgment of and as myself and as such, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the responsibility for and acceptance of myself as not good enough, outside, separate from me, onto an undefined “group” in my mind that I projected onto beings in my world and my reality as “them” and in and through and as that, created a belief, experience, perception and acceptance that “the whole world is against me” – never allowing myself to see, realize or understand – that the only one that was against me, was myself in fact – within and as the very belief, definition, judgment, experience and acceptance of/as myself as “not good enough”

I forgive myself that I, within projecting the responsibility for my perception of myself as being “not good enough” outside, separate from me, onto a projected “them” in my mind onto the beings in my world and my reality, have accepted and allowed myself to divert attention from myself as who and how and what I have accepted and created myself as, within and as the question: “will I ever be good enough?” and the antecedent acceptance of/as myself as “not good enough”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing/manifestation as “them” – not seeing, realizing or understand that “them” is a category I have created within and as my own mind, based on the acceptance of myself as not good enough and the subsequent separation of and from myself within and as that acceptance, thereby projecting in my mind and out on to my world and my reality a “them” that in fact always and only was myself as a reflection/representation of what “them” is/has become within and as myself, as the conglomerate of personalities that I have designed and created and manifested myself into and as – as a single entity – within and as defining, believing, experiencing and accepting myself as “not good enough”

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize or understand that the “them” I was asking myself/the world, if I could ever be good enough for – was in fact myself as the conglomeration of personalities that I have designed and created and manifested myself into and as – as a single entity – within and as defining, believing, experiencing and accepting myself as “not good enough”

I forgive myself that I, within projecting the definition, judgment, belief and acceptance of/as myself as “not good enough” onto others, my world and my reality – I separated myself from the fact that I am the one that has accepted, defined, perceived, judged and experienced myself as not good enough – and that I, as such have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself – and to abdicate self-responsibility and with that self-will, self-authority and self-power over/of/as my acceptance and creation of/as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within my mind and my definition, perception, experience and acceptance of myself as not good enough, within and as deceiving myself into believing that I am a victim within the belief that it is others who have decided that I am not good enough – when in fact it is only and have always only been myself and as such, by separating myself from this very fact, I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself to the belief, experience, definition and acceptance of myself as not good enough – through my very self-abdication of myself as the creator of and responsible for myself and my own acceptance of/as myself – and that I within this, through projecting the responsibility for and the decision as to me “not being good enough” onto others, have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent upon and thus enslaved to the ‘mercy’ of others – believing, experiencing and accepting that it is ONLY “them” who can “undo the curse” of me “not being good enough” and as such make me “good enough”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to have friends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to have a boyfriend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to have a job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to take an education

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to forgive myself and be forgiven

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to succeed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to love myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be loved

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be an example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be beautiful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to have fun

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to walk this process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to support others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be smart and intelligent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to take care of animals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to do sports

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to understand math, physics and chemistry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to live a fulfilled and happy life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to have children

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to talk to and to be listened to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to stand up as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to respect and honor myself as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to direct myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to live here in and as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be in/as a human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be self-honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to have sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to be a girlfriend/wife/mother/lover/friend/co-worker/sister/aunt/niece/cousin/granddaughther/daughter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to dress myself properly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to understand how the world works

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to keep up with fashion and trends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, believe, experience and accept myself as not being good enough to learn something new

What does it mean to be “NOT GOOD ENOUGH?”

Not good enough can only exist if there is an idea/belief/perception of “Good enough” – yet even within “good enough” there is an anticipation of “not good enough”. These are based on judgments and expectations of perfection. I can see how this stems from my mother’s relationship with my grandmother. Now, obviously my acceptance of myself as “not good enough” cannot be written off as merely being a case of me being a victim of my mother’s acceptance of herself – because my mother adopted it from someone else, perhaps her mother and so it is all one big pattern that in the end, only lands with self – which is me here. However, in looking the specifics of where it comes from in terms of psychological/mind-infused heredity, one can assist and support oneself to see how the pattern is created – because my mother for example, she never told me that I was not good enough, she never expected perfection of me, so the pattern does definitely not stem from that. However, if my grandmother expected perfection of my mother and my mother because of this accepted herself as not good enough, I can simply have adopted this, like I wrote about yesterday within defining, experiencing, perceiving, experiencing and accepting myself as existing in the “image and likeness” of my mother.

I see, realize and understand that there exists no such thing/people/manifestation of/as “them” as the ones who determine whether I am good enough or not and that this is something that I have created and conjured up within and as my mind in and as separation of and from myself – in abdicating self-responsibility for/as myself as the belief, definition, experience and acceptance of/as myself as “not good enough” and that ONLY I am responsible for believing, defining, experiencing and accepting – and manifesting myself as “not good enough”

(To be continued…)

I commit myself to deconstruct and disengage the belief, definition, experience and acceptance of myself as not good enough

I commit myself to investigate the opposite polarity of “not good enough” as “good enough” and “perfect/best” to reveal and expose to myself how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as this polarity-pattern so that I can disengage and deconstruct myself in and as it

I commit myself to take self-responsibility for/as/within myself in and as the belief, experience, definition and acceptance of myself as not good enough and how I have projected the responsibility for/of/as myself outside separate from me, through walking through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and as such get to know myself and stand by myself as who and what and how I have accepted myself as

I commit myself to stop defining, believing, experiencing and accepting myself as not good enough/good enough/perfect/best through walking a process of self-support in writing where I deconstruct myself as this polarity pattern and get to know myself and the origin of this pattern and how I have created it/myself as it – so that I can take self-responsibility for it/myself as it and direct and correct myself to change and stand up and live

Related entries:

DAY 27: Be-Living in Thoughts as ‘Who I am’

DAY 26: The Be-Life Decree of Energy as “That which gives me Life”

Suggest to follow Malin’s blog as well where great support as self-support is provided.

Suggest to follow the blogs daily at Creation’s Journey to Life and Heaven’s Journey to Life. Join us at Desteni, where a forum is available 24/7 with support on how to write oneself out in self-honesty and where any questions regarding the Desteni Material will be answered by competent Destonians who are walking their own process. Visit the Destonian Network where videos and blogs are streamed daily. Suggest to also check out the Desteni I Process and Relationship  courses for extended training and support. Walk with us in implementing an Equal Money System as a new System on Earth based on Equality as what is Best for All. Let’s Walk

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