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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that to be in a relationship, I must and have to compromise myself – within the belief and acceptance that I am not good enough as I am and that if who I am risk me not being in a relationship, then I have to and must compromise myself to stay in the relationship

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to ever question my unconditional acceptance of the belief that I have to and must compromise myself to be in a relationship within believing and accepting that who I am is not good enough

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to question my unconditional acceptance of myself as not good enough – not questioning the belief and acceptance that simply because I am a woman I believe and accept women and myself as a woman as intrinsically inferior, less than and not good enough and as such dependent upon a man in a relationship to survive and exist and accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through and within lying to myself and deceive myself and convince myself into believing that it is righteous and acceptable and required that I compromise myself to be in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept that if I do not compromise myself to be in a relationship, I will be compromised as I have made my survival and as such my existence and worth and value in this world, based on my ability to be in a relationship and the consequent practical benefit of being financially supported and protected by a man

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive, believe, define, experience and accept it as “perfectly natural” for me to compromise myself to be in a relationship and to have compromised myself completely and entirely without question

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my entire participation in and as this world and this reality on the acceptance that I am not good enough and that I need a man to be worthy and valuable and to exist and survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain in a relationship that I did not want to be in, because 1) I was afraid of the relationship ending and me being alone and thus unprotected and not worthy and how it would reflect on me that a relationship ended and 2) because I feared being a bad person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to remain in a relationship I did not want to be in within justifying that I should stay in the relationship so to not hurt my boyfriend so that I would not have to feel bad about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as a bad person if I was to leave my boyfriend and because of that, have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into remaining in the relationship to not experience myself like a bad person and feel guilty about hurting another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not successful at being in a relationship, if I cannot maintain a relationship, then I am not worthy of existing and I will not be able to live or exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to the belief that women intrinsically are less than and inferior to males as though this is an unquestionable fact of life and that I have accepted and allowed myself to live according to his belief as though it was a religious dogma that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject and submit myself to as yet another aspect of my abdication of myself to religions and religious beliefs and dogmas

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept my “role” as a woman in this world and reality exactly as a ‘role’ and a ‘label’ and a definition that I have subjected myself to, never questioning why or how I am defining myself according to a ‘role’ and as such as something that is separate from me and within that very acceptance of myself as a ‘role’ have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself here as life, as self-expression in, of and as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept without question that my role as a woman is to stand in the shadow of a man, dependent upon a man, only existing in support of a man as that which have worth and purpose in this world and as not having any value of myself in any way what so ever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be proud of and comfortable with my self-imposed roles as a woman, standing, living and existing within and as a definition of woman as ‘sacrifice’ as the ones that ‘owe’ her life to the man

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive, accept and define myself according to the definition of myself as a woman as ‘sacrifice’ within and as the belief and acceptance of myself as owing my life to man

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and accept women as created by the rip of the man, as only a part of the man and not in any way whole in and as ourselves and as such because I am born with and within a biological female body, have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and according to this belief, dogma and acceptance

“God cherishes His maidservants and expects them to be trusted helpers and wise counselors. However, He chastens the foolish woman as being “loud and brash” and “ignorant” without even knowing it (Proverbs 9:13, NLT).”

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have defined, believed in and accepted myself as a “woman” as someone that is intrinsically less-than and inferior to the opposite sex – not based on any form of practical or physical actuality – but only because of diluted religious beliefs of suppression, oppression and inequality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be proud of being a woman and what a woman is defined as – what I have accepted and allowed myself to define a woman as and thus myself as a woman as being a humble servant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and experience myself cherished and loved and that I have a place in the world because of my definition of myself as being a “woman” and in that not see how in and through that, have accepted myself as intrinsically less-than and inferior and in fact and as such unable to move myself or live independently

Eve is a tragic example of a woman who made a terribly foolish mistake. She was “foolish” to engage with the serpent in the first place and she was doubly foolish to then push something
onto her husband that she knew was contrary to God’s will. However, Eve was “deceived” (1 Timothy 2:14). Adam was not deceived. Adam was guilty of being led astray by his wife. Adam willfully sinned. He allowed his wife to lead him into rebellion against God. Indeed, the foolish woman can destroy her own house and her own family (Proverbs 14:1)!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as intrinsically flawed and guilty as owing to the man and as such to god because of the belief, definition and acceptance of myself as a temptress that is responsible and to blame for the fall and disgrace of man through my questioning of that which have existed as ‘god’ – of that which I have accepted and allowed to become the god of me

 “Indeed, the good Christian wife is a trusted confidante and invaluable counselor to her husband (Genesis 2:18).”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, experience and believe and accept  myself as a woman as existing only as a support of the man and not in any way exist on my own volition of in self-reliance

(To be continued)

Read the next post here.

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Suggested reading:

http://annabrixthomsen.com/2012/04/19/day-5-who-i-am-as-a-christian/

http://desteni.org/a/marilyn-monroe-the-human-design-menstruation

http://desteni.org/a/veno-self-forgiveness-female-ego

http://journeytolife.aldinhrvat.com/day-27-male-superiority-and-female-inferiority-a-reversed-case/

http://journey-of-lindsay.blogspot.se/2012/04/day-11-to-be-woman.html

http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/day-8-my-body-is-not-an-image/

http://annabrixthomsen.com/2012/05/10/day-23-at-war-with-my-man-kill-or-be-killed/

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