“Remember to breathe when quitting smoking, smoke air instead”- Gian Robberts. 

I have smoked more years in my life than I have not smoked. I started when I was 12. When it was the most extreme, I smoked around 30 cigarettes pr. day. For many years I did not want to quit. I eventually did so as practical standing up within and as myself, to stop allowing myself to be addicted and dictated by mind-made addictions infused into and on the body.

As some of you know, it has taken me more than a year to stop smoking. In that time period I have stopped and started more times that I can count, sometimes for several days and other times for as much as a month. It has been more or less a struggle the entire time, with excuses, justifications, emotional tantrums and even self-deception. I would for example in a long period go and buy single cigarettes in the local kiosk and justify smoking with the belief that “this is the last one”. I could thus do that for two weeks, until I realized the stupidity and finally bought a pack.

When I finally stopped, I did so within a combination of several factors – what I am also saying here is that there is no magic solution – nor will band-aids or nicotine gum or candy or sex suddenly make you a non-smoker or a non-what-ever-else-you’re-addicted-to.

I found that making the decision is the most important part. From there it is simply to move myself physically. I’ve had so many thoughts come up of “what if…” or “I could just…” or felt like I could not stand it – lol – and all I did was to do nothing. The decision was already made, so all I had to do was to not smoke. The single most important point has been the act of non-acting. And as I’ve continued not-acting, not acting has become so much easier, to the point where there can be days where the thought of cigarettes do not pop up.

The decision is the first step – once that step is taken, all that is required is to keep walking

I also did something else when I quit smoking last time. I made an agreement with another Destonian who also wanted to quit smoking to quit together for 3 months and that if one of us fell, the other would have to start over. We also agreed not to share this with anyone before the 3 months had passed. We did this so to not share our “success” before actually having walked the point for ourselves first and established ourselves within certainty of the walking.

We met every day and quite randomly on Skype to support each other and  could eventually simply type “wave!!” and the other would understand that we were having a moment of withdrawal and would then say “Breathe, feel your feet” or “get up and do something physical” or simply “stop” – whatever was required and supportive in the moment.

This was tremendously assisting, as it would most often be so that when one was starting to tilt, the other would firmly secure the standing of both and we could then continue walking , each in our own process.

I share here some more points of support that can assist those who’ve decided or are ready to decide to stop smoking or to stop another addiction.

“…it’s going to be easier and easier as long as I breath and write the mindfuck out.”

  Malin O. 

“…the first three days is the hardest, then 21 days is the breaking point and then it is like nothing and easy. writing helps with release as-well, so keep writing when shit comes up in not smoking. it assists a lot. and self forgiveness, the tools is here.”

Gian Robberts 

If you’ve decided to stop smoking or would like more support on how, join us at Desteni and join the forum on the website where support is provided to those who’ve decided to support themselves.