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These writings are not those of a typical feminist – because I am writing not only from a critical view, but also as a form of catharsis, as a self-awakening from a heavy nightmare, into which I have ridden myself in the acceptance and condolence of abuse towards women and are now slowly opening my eyes while adjusting the brightness of seeing what is Here. So this is me rising myself – not rising against men or in defense of women. I am simply Here to speak that which has remained unspoken within and as myself and within and as this world. Within this article I am thus drawing from own observations and experiences as well as analyzing specific cultural and sociological traits relevant to gain an understanding of why women submit themselves willingly to the abuse and degradation by men and why we accept ourselves as societies and culture that does not honor or dignify ourselves as life. Let’s begin:

The other night a couple of girls were having a party at house next to mine. They were preparing themselves to go out clubbing and from my window, I could see how they were dressing themselves, putting on make-up and getting drunk, meanwhile music was playing with a thumbing bass out the window. I noticed that most of the songs they were listening to were these techno/house tracks with male singers and with lyrics sounding like “eat my ass bitch” in a monotone and generic fashion or it was female singers with lyrics such as “I wanna give it up to you”. I then embarked on researching this point a little further as I found it to be interesting and fascinating how these women were listening to music that was clearly degrading and misogynistic as though it was actually empowering.

Here were these girls, partying as ‘single women’, with ‘their own money’, ‘beautiful and free’ – for example compared to their great grandmothers, who were slave bound to kitchens, not allowed to vote, considered dumb and irrational simply for being a women or if we compare them to women in other cultures that do not have their own money, education or the cultural freedom to express themselves, for example sexually.  And still they were listening to degrading abusive music with male voices singing to them to get ‘get on your knees’ or the infamous “eat my ass bitch” as though it were a celebration of life. When I placed myself in their shoes, their immediate and conscious experience of themselves were as ‘power-women’ – I mean, that was the game they were playing. “We’re players” “Women can be players as well” – and even though that is true, I can say from personal experience that this is also a matter of joining them, because you can’t beat them – and in this case it is the male dominant culture, where women are valuable and valuing themselves as objects for the attraction of men and where men are supposed to be tough and brutal, seen, defined and perceived as the ominous “Cool”.

“…see whore you’re the kinda girl that I’da
Assault and rape and figure why not try to make your pussy wider
Fuck you with an umbrella then open it up while that shits inside ya”

Eminem in the song “Stay Wide Awake

Jackson Katz, an anti-sexism activist writer describes it in these words:

Is it truly possible that women’s lives have been so thoroughly devalued that {Eminem}  a multi-platinum musical artist with nine Grammy awards to his name can sing multiple songs about raping and mutilating women and hip sophisticates can’t even bring themselves to utter the words “woman-hating?”[1]

Yes – it is most certainly possible, which the story above clearly exemplifies. Because when not only men degrade women, but when women also degrade themselves and when children are brought up to an implicitly immanent misogynistic culture – how can we expect ourselves to live any differently? There is this collective delusion in the wealthiest countries, that women have become liberated (hell that men have become liberated as well) – all conjured up in a comparison to cultures of past times, which apparently makes us liberated because we’re no longer stuck slaving in kitchens, carrying children on our arms and now instead can slave for cash at McDonalds or Wendy’s. And obviously women can get abortions and divorces, but how exactly that’s ‘liberating’, remains the question.

So back to the story of the girls next door. As I placed myself in their shoes, I saw that they were, behind the roles of ‘liberated power women’ who are ‘playing the game’, insecure, self-conscious human beings who were doing what they were doing specifically with the purpose of getting a man, either to have sex with or to love and hold – in both cases, for reproductive intentions.

How do I know this? I have been there and have done it myself. As a woman going out clubbing, your primary asset and value is your looks which has to meet specific standards or preferences. So these girls were constantly going from the living room where they were partying to the bedroom, both of which I could see from my window – to put make-up on and check their reflection. Some of the girls did this many times, many 10 or 20 times during the night of 4-5 hours before they were going out. And these girls were normal, standard, good-looking girls as one would imagine such. There was nothing out of the ordinary about them – and they would check their reflection in a certain way – with critical, sharp eyes of either approval or disapproval. And in the back-ground of the mind, the image of a man accepting them, loving them, feeding them with attention (or money and drinks) were constantly running like a movie in their head. They were drinking heavily as well, which people do to ‘uplift their spirits’ – basically to push beyond their own boundaries so that they become able to speak, dance, flirt and have sex.

As a girl and woman listening to this music, the ‘eat my ass bitch’ from before, the experience is that of being empowered, of being strong, invincible and specifically that of being a part of the male (superior) environment, showing the males that we can ‘match them’ and that we’re not whiny little sissies that can’t keep our liqueur sort of thing – is the psychology behind this point. I realized something fascinating a while back in relation to this point: that men do not specifically want woman to ‘match them’, meaning to be tough or strong – many men has a fantasy about a feminine, fragile virgin-like girl to whom they can either ravage or cherish or both, quite like many women has a fantasy about a beast of a man who fittingly ravages her or cherishes her like a delicate flower or both.

So this specific point is about women matching and attempting to empower themselves through matching the degrading nature of a male-dominant society – it is a quite strange application of self-empowerment. Yet – if we as women have seen men and what men represent and present themselves as, as free, empowered and self-authoritative, then that becomes our aim for empowering ourselves – because in a male dominated society, there are no alternatives. And I am not speaking here about strictly of male-dominant as being run by males – more that it is specific characteristics connected with being male that are predominant and valued as such amongst all members of society, whether it degrades and enslaves them or not. So in terms of the discussion about the male-dominant society, it might as well be a man that is degraded and enslaved by, to fulfill a role by putting on a suit or pumping iron or suppressing himself and his self-expression.

So the topic here is not physical men vs. physical woman. That is exactly seen in how women, when attempting to empower themselves, will end up doing exactly the opposite. That is because our entire society and the systems within which we manage our lives, our bodies and our minds – are male-dominant. In this specific case, it is women who have actively taken upon themselves to enslave themselves and degrade themselves through participating in the degrading of women through music, fashion and social behavior – as though it was in fact empowering.

Women (or men) don’t have an alternative to empower themselves –and power in this current system is equivalent with brutality, abuse cynicism, ego and self-interest. Thus we’re Impulsed to shape and form ourselves as personalities in relation to this definition of power, which is why many relationships will exist within a reversed constellation where the woman dominates the man in exactly the same way as a man would have dominated a woman.

Therefore – it is time to give ourselves an alternative. Obviously in order to do so, we first of all have to understand how we’ve defined power, worth and value as it is – so that we can start redefining what power, worth and value is and should be, when it is no longer abusive and unequal.

You can read more about this in the article, where I wrote about the enslavement of reproduction, and I will return to this in coming articles. I will also continue with investigating the male perspective in this, where males become equally enslaved to and within the point of degrading and abusing women and thus degrading and abusing themselves. For now I will remain with this point of how woman are trapped in a self-degrading and inverted chauvinism that is expressed through the example of music.

We shall here take a look at and analyze a brand this Katy Perry song. Katy Perry did most likely not write this song, yet I am deliberately referring to it as such, because 1) there is a communal pretense that money-making-mainstream-music –performers DO write their own material and 2) because Katy Perry does let this song represent her – she is singing it  – it is “a Katy Perry song”. I shall not analyze the entire song here, merely highlight some fascinating expressions that show how the acceptance of abuse towards women, is Impulsed and groomed into us via mainstream music that pretends to be innocent and harmless via it’s glossy exterior and it’s Disney- meets-Demon-like front-figures.

The song from Perry’s most recent album appropriately called “Teenage Dreams” is called E.T and  it circles around the theme of Katy falling in love with an alien man. (Katy Perry, who got married to another celebrity, notorious playboy Russel Brand in an spiritual ceremony in India last year)

The song starts with a rap intro by the infamous Kayne West that lays the foundation for the perspective of the song presented as a ‘boyish’ tease, like the constant chase on the playground where the boys pull the girls pigtails and the girls scream. Yet – this is not children or teenagers who are presenting this – they are adult, successful artists with large audiences specifically in the segment of children and teenagers. And behind the boyish teasing, is a far more cynical and brutal truth about this and these types of songs and artists. The topic of why adult artists are making music targeted towards children within creating an entire ‘world’ around them as a fairytale, is another story for another time. Take a look at the lyrics here. This is the fantasy man that Katy Perry in these lyric’s dream universe is feverishly submitting herself to:

K[Kanye West]
“I got a dirty mind
I got filthy ways
I’m tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way
I’m a legend, I’m irreverent
I be reverand
I be so fa-a-ar up, we don’t give a f-f-f-f-ck
Welcome to the danger zone
Step into the fantasy
You are now invited to the other side of sanity
They calling me an alien
A big headed astronaut
Maybe it’s because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot”

So first Kayne calls himself a ‘reverend’ meaning the man who speaks the word of god to the clergy or the following of a specific church and later goes on to complimenting Katy for making him ‘the big man he is’ by him having anal sex with her. To that Katy Perry answers:

[Katy Perry]
“You’re so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel

Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing.”

Here Katy are referring to the energetic reactions attached and played out – to which many people are addicted – between man and woman. The “electric” spark that is experienced. Here Katy has associated this to a specific man, a special man – that thus makes it even more intense. The man is thus placed on a pedestal sending the signal that such a man could exist, but also within polarizing and idealizing him to such a degree, she herself becomes implicitly inferior and irrelevant.

They say be afraid
You’re not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA

They don’t understand you”

There is here an entire topic on it’s own with the references to aliens and spirituality, which I will not discuss in this article, but merely mention as a point to consider critically.

“Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I’m ready to go
Lead me into the light”

This is a clear reference to the biblical “god” and the man is in this fantasy now uplifted to the status of a god.

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison”

Love is referred to as an infection and sperm as a poison which is from a certain perspective quite accurate, but the point that follows through her is the point of submitting oneself to abuse, to the desire and want to be abused, which clearly can be seen in the lyrics below:

“Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

The rest of the song goes on repeatedly in the same fashion and upon investigating more of the current music listened to specifically by teenagers and adolescents, these type of lyrics are not uncommon – quite the contrary. So the question is then if this is merely harmless wordplay or mating-games within a fantasy that is not supposed to be lived out into reality and if the average adolescent is so desensitized from seeing and hearing about rough sex that they do not take something like this seriously. Or if the desensitization is actually something that this music is indicative of, where we as human beings abdicate self-dignity and the ability to see others as equals and thus come to believe that we either have the right to treat others as objects or that we are no more worth than the objects we use without care.

I have as a woman – but even more so relevant, as a human being in this world, desensitized myself to abuse and suffering, to the abuse and suffering inflicted upon my own human physical body as well as the abuse and suffering within and as this world. I have found it easier to submit myself, because I believed and accepted that standing up was impossible – my world left me no alternatives. Yet when everybody says this, does this, creates this – we end up with a world of self-abdicated beings who are abusing each other and all claiming their freedom from responsibility.

I have realized for myself that the extend to which I have desensitized myself from what is here, specifically as suffering and abuse, is what has allowed it to escalate – because if it is not me, I cannot feel it, if it is not happening to me, I am not responsible, If I do not see it, I am not here as it.

I have realized that the extend to which I have desensitized myself is so vast that I require a total re-education of myself to actually re-learn how to care – not only about the world, about other life-forms and people, but equally about myself. Because self-abdication in all its various compromises is the self-degradation of separation that I have willingly submitted myself to.

Separation = Self-Abdication

When we return to the girls across the street in the house who were partying and getting ready to go out, they are themselves responsible for what they are doing – – they might even experience that nagging feeling of “why am I doing this, why am I compromising myself like this?” and then they look around and there is no alternative and everyone is doing the same and if they don’t do this they wont get a man and if they don’t get a man they stand no chance at getting that perfect life or at least surviving so that their genes can be transferred and they may live forever through the generations to come … WTF?

Is that the kind of human beings we want to bring into this world, continuously without end? Is surviving more important than being able to exist in self-dignity without being abused or abusing others? Unfortunately we have been programmed and have programmed ourselves to believe and accept this to be true to the extend where the this is infused into and as our bodies so that the mind sends an energetic surge or shock through the body a signal that it is time to get to work, to get that ass on the dance floor and mate at all costs and at any price – because the survival of the human species is our sole purpose in this world.  And within that single point of self-abdication, have we collectively as men and women – as human beings – submitted ourselves to exist within and as the honoring of abuse instead of life, of being entertained by the suffering of others and in believing that the continuous enslavement of ourselves, is what freedom looks, feels and smells like – there at the bottom of the human physical body that has become the object of our blind devotion. We have truly become assholes of our own demise.

I am walking the Desteni ‘I’ Process to end all of this – within myself as within the world as a whole. I realize that I first must re-learn myself to take self-responsibility, to live dignified and principled, to not compromise or abuse myself, mentally or physically – to not submit myself to ideas or preprogrammed definitions about who I should be or what I should enjoy or desire or dislike. I realize that I have never really cared and even if I did, the world does not even facilitate human begins that do care.

This is not a world for human beings that care about life – and at Desteni, this is what we’re here to change – with the Desteni ‘I’ Process as the first step of self towards self-dignity and care for self as life and with The Equal Money System as the first step of humanity standing together as a group to Dignify All Life in Equality – so that we many bring forth a heaven on earth through the self-forgiveness and purification of abuse so that we may start trusting ourselves and each other to express and apply ourselves in real care and compassion for life.

Join us if you’re ready to unveil the world as we unveil ourselves – to stand up in self-dignity and to prepare the way for ourselves to embark on a journey of re-discovery of ourselves as sovereignty in self-exploration, expansion and equality with and as all life.

[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jackson-katz/eminem-misogyny-and-the-s_b_211677.html