, , , , , , , ,

I woke up this morning from a dream, where the sequence that I could remember that stood out was me standing naked in a train, solid on my two feet, enjoying being naked, enjoying myself as the physical and I started masturbating. At some point a point of shame towards getting caught was there and this manifested three old ladies. The one lady said to the other; “see what she’s doing?” – They were laughing at first and I felt embarrassed. Then I started arguing with them and it became a conflict. I felt like I had to stand up for myself, but I was judging them for judging me and really I had been ashamed and embarrassed – and thus manifested the three old ladies as this point of self-judgment and self-consciousness. Rewriting the dream I would simply continue to touch myself in the moment, masturbation no different from any other self-touch. Then the ladies would not manifest and there would be no point of conflict. I allow me to express me in and as self-expression here.