The night before last I had a dream which I shared in my latest post. Now last night I had a similar dream that depicted a point that had also been prominent in the first dream, but here extensive as to show myself that THIS is the point at hand that requires Direction. I have been a regular sister resister lately and especially last night, where I did all kinds of other things than sit down and write. The experience I have excused myself with is that of having “too many points to deal with”, both in terms of writing/correcting and also in terms of practical responsibilities in my world. So I Apply the same Principle as if I have had a room filled with clutter and mess: I start in one corner. Too often have I looked at that room and found it incomprehensible to clean the entire mess as I was looking at everything at once and bailed out the door. So starting in one corner of my world, which at this present moment is highlighted through this dream. I only recall one sequence from the dream, but it was clearly a repetition of the theme from the prior dream.

I am at a huge farm/facility, it is night and I have to go somewhere. I run into a sort of game park environment and all the wild animals are awakened and disturbed by my running in where they are sleeping. I do not recall exactly what happened, but it had major consequences that I ran into this place instead of Walking. In the dream I talked to some people about it and Realized that had I walked instead of running, the animals would have known that it was me, but because I came running, they thought I was a dangerous animal that came to eat them and so they all got up in a chaos of fear and killed each other.

I did not feel extensively emotional in this dream as I did in the previous one, however I did regret that I had not been considerate as I could see afterwards that it would have been Common Sense to walk instead of run. So the point that is repeating itself is the point of running/rushing which I have identified as being Inconsiderate, not taking All and Everything into Consideration and thereby creating unnecessary and unacceptable consequences. In this moment of running into the area, I was only focused on myself, on what I was doing, where I was going – thus I was self-interested and therefore did not Consider others around me. The second point is the regret, guilt and shame I experience for having done this, however not as extensive as in the first dream. Again there is the theme of animals, which represents Process and Self as the Physical and Life. In revisiting the dream, it is unclear to me at this point whether what I am showing myself is simply that rushing is self-interested and does not support life, or whether it is the perception of and reaction towards myself as inconsiderate as the relevant point. Then besides these obvious points, there is the point of the animals, which I see as a point of Polarity as well – because it shows my perception of Process, Life as the Physical as myself – wherein it is fragile, must be protected, can be disturbed and destroyed by me as the mind as the polarity as exceeding power, danger, disturbance. There is further more another point that especially was prominent in the previous dream, where the reaction and correction of the point is specifically in relation to other people (as separate), wherein the first dream it was the projection of self-judgment and responsibility and here I speak with others about what I could have done differently. So first there is me, acting alone – rushing towards something, in the first dream this was wanting to “feed life”/participate within process. Then there is the consequence of my actions, which is where I make a mistake that has severe consequences for something/someone outside of me = the animals as Innocence, Life, Process. Then there is how I react to this through speaking with others outside separate from me, thus a point of not trusting self, depending on outside separate points to direct me. Fascinating.

1.       Where/how am I rushing in self-interest and inconsideration and thus compromising process?

This specific point is related to the polarized perception of me vs. process and specifically how I see myself (in and as personality of and as the mind) as compared to how I perceive/believe I should be in process. What I am also seeing is that I am actually rushing in this very Here Moment – lol – based on this exact perception. So what I see that is required is that I slow this point down and take them on one at the time because right now I am trying to basically consume/eat the point up in its fullness instead of walking it in detail point by point. So by my very Participation in and as this Moment, I can see exactly what this Point implies. Cool.

2.       Where/how do I react to the mistakes I have made, where I have acted Inconsiderate, in self-interest with regret, guilt, shame, believing and perceiving that I am compromising process?

This is very obvious to me, is where I block myself instead of Allowing myself to stop and Forgive myself and correct myself. In both dream scenarios, there were a Clear Practical Correction available – the next step is thus to Apply it, which I sabotaged/postponed for myself by reacted/taking the mistake made personally and thus creating a diverted process for myself. “Next time I am to go into the area where the animals sleep, I will walk instead of run.” Done! Simple Correction.

3.       Where/how have I split myself into polarity as separation and comparison between the perception of myself and the perception of process?

This point might require some more writing because this is one of the major points within the point – how I have perceived myself in a comparing polarity. So – I have an idea about Process, about who I should be in Process, that is not Aligned with me Here – The dream clearly shows that I see process as something outside Separate from me, that I have to “Consider” and “Protect” – also in order to prevent myself from making mistakes. The idea(l) I have had about who and how I should be in Process is based on comparing myself to memory, to projections and specifically within this, not seeing that it is an idea(l) of and as Polarity, something I am trying to become (run to/feed) instead of me Here, Equal and One. Therefore this Point reveals a Point of Accepted Separation – essentially Abdication of Self-Responsibility and Self-Acceptance. Last night I Realized that everything I have experienced and created for myself the last year, has been of and as the Mind. My entire perception of… everything, has been based on, in and as the Mind, as personality of ego, fear and separation. Where I locate myself as Silence and Stability as Standing in Self-Honesty, is within the Realization that I am All – because within that, everything else fades and I Realize that I have been Accepting and thus Creating myself as Illusion as Reality – and that I, as Reality, am right Here. However the direct line from that – which is where I’ve snapped my chain – is Self-Responsibility. Sweet god in heaven, has that point been the bitch of all bitches for me to Live. So – back to Practical Reality: This is the Point. Because within the perception of myself as “ass-ending”, I end on my ass = Manifested consequence. Ascension can in this case be the equivalent of running – a mis-conception of trying to stand up as the Mind (which is polarity, superiority, ego, inferiority and energy) – and thus I ended on my ass – which is the equivalent of falling and the manifested consequences taking place in my dreams. But there is no way that I am going to (and here I don’t mean as a statement of intent, but as a fact) allow myself to stand up through and as thoughts, ideas, polarities or energy. It is simply physically impossible. Therefore: back to the basics – I am Here, Here is who I am – I am Responsible for All Here as who I am. The lesson learned here is: by trying to stand up as the mind – I fall. Falling is simply ending on my ass, from where I cannot move, but sit, immovable – stuck as laziness, excuses, resistance, justifications, merry-go-rounds of self-judgment and pity. Standing up within and as the Physical, based on the Support of my dream, means simply Applying the Correction to the mistake (mind) made – my god, is it really that Simple? And obviously get to a point of not making mistakes (Self-Perfection, Self-Responsibility, Self-Authority) – however the specific point that I see I must firstly Push, is the Point of taking the mistake/fall personally – because it is also from there, that I’ve tried to stand up from and as the mind – because within doing so, I am validating myself as the mind and thus it will be the starting-point for my participation. So – point 1 is: attempting to Stand up from within and as the Mind, in Separation personified as comparison and polarity, perceiving Process as Separate/more than me. Point 2 is: from there taking mistakes personally instead of Applying the Correction as Self-Forgiveness, Facing Self within investigating the reason why the mistake was made in the first place – and the mistake is actually made because I was trying to be/do more than HERE. This is essentially the Point that I gotta work with.

  • Within taking on too much, trying to solve everything at once, believing that I am able to do it all here now – I show myself that I am existing within and as a personality in and as an energy/polarity relationship with, as and towards the perception/idea/desire/belief/submission that: I must, should, could, want to – be more than who and what I am Here

Thus:

o   Rushing – missing points and making mistakes

o   Believe, perceive, accept and manifest myself as less than the idea

o   Become a slave to the idea of who and how is should be, in absolute separation of myself Here as Life in Process of Stopping and Standing up from within and as the Mind

Self-Forgiveness

1.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the Process of Life Standing up from within and as the Mind, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as

2.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create a Separate entity of and as myself, in Separation of myself Here as Life, as the idea/belief/perception of how and who I should be in and as Process

3.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see/perceive/believe/experience/define Process as Superior to me and thus as something outside, separate from me, that I must aspire to by becoming more than who and what I am Here, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as

4.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe/perceive and accept that process is about becoming more than who and what I am Here, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as – instead of Realizing that I AM PROCESS  – I am the Process of and as Standing up as Life, within and as Stopping myself, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Exist in and as, in and as the Mind, as manifested Separation from, of and as myself Here as Life, Equal and One

5.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to attempt to aspire to become more, as I have seen/perceived/experienced and believing process to be more than me and thus that I had to become more, in order to walk Process – instead of Realizing that I am Walking Process as All and Everything I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Exist in and as

6.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to rush myself in order to become more through and as attempting to Stand up in the Mind as the acceptance of myself as inferior to process – thus actually Separating myself from myself as process and thus walking a process as mind, as the idea about process and the idea about who I am and who I should be in process

7.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest a polarity-based relationship of separation, friction and conflict from within and as the mind, from within which I have accepted myself as inferior to process as something outside separate from me, that I compared myself to, through projections and memories in and as the mind

8.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe/fear/experience/accept and manifest process as a “positive”, as an ideal, but also as something that can be shaken and fallen from as fragile, as if it must be protected, can be disturbed and destroyed by me as the mind as the polarity as exceeding power, danger, disturbance.

9.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept, create and manifest an entity-personality of and as polarity as separation from and as myself here as Life, perceiving/defining/experiencing/believing and accepting process as “innocent”, “pure”, “fragile”, “unsafe”, “exposed to danger” and myself in comparison as “dirty”, “un-pure”,  “tough” and “dangerous”  – instead of Realizing that none of these are real, as they are polarities that I have made-up within and as the mind and created a relationship towards and with, from where I have participated in and as this polarity-construct, making up an entity personality that I have believed, accepted and lived as myself, while it was a self-deluded illusion and not Real

10.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that my perception about process as more than me, was Real

11.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that my perception about myself as less than process, was real

12.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that whatever I am, whatever I Accept and Allow myself to exist in and as – is the Process of me Standing up as Life from and as the Physical in Stopping the Mind, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as

13.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to abdicate myself as Life, through believing, accepting, perceiving and manifesting myself in Separation from process superior to me and me as inferior to process – thereby having Denied who I am Here as Life Standing up as Life from and as the Physical in Stopping the Mind, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as

14.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and fear myself to be annihilated from process, because of the mistakes I have made and fallen within – instead of realizing that this is perceived form within and as the Mind, In and as Separation from myself Here as Life – at it is I, who have annihilated myself, within judging myself for making mistakes, based on the desire to be more than who I am – instead of Forgiving and Correcting myself in Common Sense Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility and Simplicity

15.   I Forgive myself that I within having Accepted and Allowed myself to believe, perceive, experience, accept and manifest myself as inferior to and separate from process – have justified abdicating myself as process

16.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and perceive process to be outside of me, away from me, not me

17.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate process as spiritual ascension and religious redemption – instead of Directing myself as Process in Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility

18.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself to exist in Self-Interest and Inconsideration based on having Accepted myself as Separate from and inferior to process

19.   I Forgive myself that I, within having Accepted and Allowed myself to accept process as outside, separate from me, have abdicated process as myself – thus abdicating self-responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and for correcting myself to live as Equality Here, in and as the Physical

20.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to annihilate myself from process, by accepting myself as separate from process within and as the polarity-relationship, where I have perceived process as more and me as less – instead of Realizing that: there is only one process and I am it.

21.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself to believe that I am not in process, that I can fall out of process – when in fact, everything I am, is the process of Standing up as Life

22.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame and judge myself for making mistakes and for perceiving mistakes as unforgivable, when in fact all they require is practical Correction within the Application of Common Sense as what is Best for All

23.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Compromise what is Best for All, through justifying not taking everything and everyone into Consideration, based on the acceptance of myself as inferior to process and the desire to aspire to process as more than me

24.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Trust myself within correcting myself and standing up

25.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself as dependent on others to stand up and correct myself

26.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize how important, simplistic and available Common Sense Self-Corrections are

27.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself Realize that the Solution is in and as the Physical

28.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest unnecessary and unacceptable processes and consequences based on having allowed myself to accept myself as less than process

29.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that Process is Here, in the Moment, in Every Breath

30.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear making mistakes within fearing how others would see me, that they would judge me – fear my own reaction towards myself, when I have made mistakes, of self-judgment and guilt and regret

31.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to react with self-judgment, guilt and regret towards making a mistake and thus attempting to avoid making mistakes to avoid these emotions – when in fact I can simply stop the emotions and stop allowing myself to be directed by, and enslaved to emotions

32.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to hold onto past memories of “how I was” and for comparing myself as I perceive myself now to those memories, instead of realizing that I within this am creating a relationship-polarity-energy-entity based on the acceptance of myself as inferior to and separate from process  that is essentially a delusion as I cannot be and am not separate

33.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compare myself within and as the mind, to others as projected images as positive polarities, instead of realizing that I within this am creating a relationship-polarity-energy-entity based on the acceptance of myself as inferior to and separate from process that is essentially a delusion as I cannot be and am not separate

34.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself as “out of process” – thus having justified acting deliberately in self-interest, denial and self-dishonesty

35.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience and participate in guilt and regret towards having allowed myself to justify acting deliberately in self-interest, denial and self-dishonesty, instead of realizing that the experiences of guilt and regret are not real and that they are part of the polarity-construct, in which I have held myself enslaved to and as the mind

36.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself for having held myself enslaved to and as the mind within participating in thoughts, memories, ideas and perceptions based on polarity-energy-relationships as separation from myself Here as Life

37.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I am not able or capable of correcting myself – thus having allowed myself to justify abdicating self-responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

38.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself into abdicating self-responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, by participating in, perceiving, accepting and manifesting myself as inferior

39.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that by participating in, perceiving, accepting and manifesting myself as inferior and within that having justified abdicating myself as Life, as self-responsible for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, I have accepted the mind as superior to me as life and thus accepted myself as the mind, as the delusion/illusion as who I am – The End.