Pushing myself to get up immediately within the moment of Breath, writing as the first point on my day. This is what I am Pushing within myself. I have made a new schedule that I am quite satisfied with for the most parts, where I focus on one point at the time and start with studying and then move onto Desteni/internet based work – However I also see that writing in the morning is a superb way of starting my day, clearing and establishing my starting-point immediately as I wake up.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be and become the manifestation of fear in having allowed myself to live in fear, to exist within and as fear and in having allow myself to participate within, as and from fear

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to live and exist from a starting-point of accepting myself as separate, as a separate entity as personality within and as the mind

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to, within and as the mind, having justified giving up on myself and giving in to the mind, within and from manipulating myself to experience energetic reactions as emotions

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that I have justified giving up on myself through manipulating myself, within, as and through the mind to believe, feel, accept and experience that I am not worthy of existing, that existing is too hard, that I am not good enough, that it is too late, that I am wrong, evil, bad, drenched within and as regret and self-hate

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be and become consumed by regret, self-judgment and self-hate and for not having realized that I have generated and participated within and as these experiences as a way to justify giving up on myself

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that the experience, belief, fear, feeling and acceptance of not being good enough, of being inferior, of not deserving to exist, of it being too late, are experiences that I have created and allowed myself to participate within and as and accept as real, as a backdoor for me to give up on myself

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience and participate in shame of having allowed myself to manipulate myself through energy and emotion to give up on myself and for having allowed myself to become possessed by and as the manifestation of giving up on myself and giving in to the mind

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use excuses, procrastination, laziness and self-dishonesty as a proof that I cannot be trusted to justify giving up on myself, instead of realizing that I within this, have deliberately sabotaged myself in fear of losing/giving up on myself as the mind

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear giving up on myself as the mind and within and as having allowed myself to be consumed and directed by this fear, have allowed myself to give up on myself as live

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience myself as lost, when in fact I am right Here

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe, experience and accept that I am within and as the mind, when the mind does not exist in fact

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, perceive, experience and accept myself as separate and separated from “process” and for within this not realizing that I within this, am seeing, perceiving, experiencing accepting “process” as separated and separate from me as an idea within and as the mind, associated with experiences of and as energy and emotion and memories and not as the Living Process of myself as Life Amalgamating myself Here

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that what I saw, perceived and experienced as process and myself within it, was real and objective as truth, instead of realizing that I was seeing, perceiving, experiencing and accepting “process” within, from and as the mind, in and as separation with and as myself, of and as personality as self-interest, fear and ego.

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, perceive, experience and accept “process” as something that is between me and Desteni as an entity within and as the mind, as ideals, in which I have to live up to and become “what Desteni wants me to be”, in order to be accepted and loved – within this seeing, perceiving, experiencing and accepting myself as separate from the world/existence as a whole as process, from Desteni as a group and from the individual relationships I have created within and as the mind towards the people participating with Desteni

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that I have been seeing, perceiving, experiencing and accepting process from within and as a mind-created relationship in which I am revealing to me a part of myself, as personality based on memories in separation of and as myself here as a life, that I have not yet let go of and that the actual process is to be Lived and Walked Here, Directly, in and as the Physical Reality, in Equality with and as everything that is Here

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see, perceive, experience and accept myself as manifested separation within, as and from the mind, seeing only myself in relation to others as ideas, projections and relationships within and as the mind

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be and become obsessed with being accepted by others as a distraction and justification for not Facing myself Alone in Self-Intimacy

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear being intimate with myself and trust myself within and as intimacy

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to let my entire existence become about me as personality surviving in relation to others, in complete separation from and as myself Here as Life as All as One as Equal

I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept myself to justify myself living and existing within and as self-interest through separating myself and accepting myself as separated from process, seeing, perceiving, experiencing and accepting process as something to “aspire” to, to ascend to, as something bigger and more than me

I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to be humble and patient with myself

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