SRA session 25 November 2010

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Word:  ‘Barren’ – The belief that I am infertile – specifically unable to Birth myself as Life from the Physical – Belief I have used to hold myself back – Dare to let go of the annoyance and shame  -of having failed – not accepting it as Real –

Today the word ‘barren’ came up – barren as in infertile. I was looking at how this word was relevant and tested through different possibilities. I suddenly saw that it was the belief that I am infertile from the perspective of Birthing myself as Life from the Physical. Interesting – because once when a similar point came up, it was the belief that the World would not Change if I Changed  – a point that I did not Stop and Walk through to Correction. And so it has accumulated to this experience of myself as being completely barren. It is interesting because with this whole ‘birth’ analogy (and specificity) I see ‘barren’ exactly as the point I experience myself in now, similar to being physically barren and wanting a child, but not being able to give Birth.  Because if I am barren (which is the belief), it means that I am not Here -I am not able to impregnate myself with myself as Life, I am not Life. It also tested out that it is a belief that I have used to hold myself back, same as the belief that the World will not Change if I Change – excuses, justifications and thus Deception, Self-Deception.

Interestingly enough the next word that came up was the word ‘Dare’ – and it was specifically referred to as an Action towards this Belief. The next word was ‘Chagrin’ which is a word I have never  seen before, but which revealed to be exactly what I have been Living as the last 8 months: ‘Annoyance and Shame of having failed’. I was quite amazed with the specificity of these words and particularly this one, because the thread makes sense – how I have designed and submitted to this self-Deception and defeat.

I believed that I was unable to Birth myself as Life from the Physical (within understanding this from knowledge and personality only) and through giving power and attention to that belief, ironically ‘birthed’ it as ‘Real’. I manifested a failure, a mistake so big that this belief was confirmed as permanent. Now – the word ‘Dare’ pops up as a little flashing light saying: Attention, attention! ‘It does not have to be this way’ – ‘Dare to go against what you believe’ – ‘Dare to say: Fuck off to this belief’ – Dare to not Accept it as Real – Dare to not Accept it at All.

So we have ‘Barren’ – the belief that I am infertile, ‘nurtured’ by the emotion of shame of having failed, while the ‘failure’ was ‘birthed’ based on the belief  – and there; it is a loop.

So – Dare: Dare to let go of this belief, Dare to say; ‘I am going to do it anyway’. ‘I am going to Push through this no matter what.’ – I failed only because I accepted failure as legit, I failed because I focused on failure, I failed because I accepted failure.

1.       The belief that I am barren (as Self-Deception and Self-Manifested Limitation)

2.       The emotional outflow/manifestation of Annoyance and Shame of having failed

3.       The Dare to not Accept this as Real

Now – How do I practically work through this point?

I have written much about this – so the point does not seem to be yet again to bring up how I saw that I failed and why – because the Dare is to not Accept it as Real. To Not Accept myself as Barren of Life.

Therefore the Solution as I see it is exactly that – to move straight to the Solution. But firstly I have to Walk myself  Here and make Sure that I Stop and do Not Participate.  So – How have I Participated in this Belief?

When I hear about Birthing Life from the Physical – Making ideas about what Birthing myself as Life from the Physical means

1.

I experience fear and feel pressure – feeling ‘left out’ – not aware that I am creating it.

I see it as ‘too perfect’ – I cannot possibly be allowed to be a part of this. When I hear that not all will make it, I immediately have accepted that I will not. ‘That is probably me’. I have done this from the beginning and I have before worked with this as a self-accepted limitation. One thing that I am also seeing now, is that I fear actually Allowing myself to make it real. That we are actually possible to do this. What I am seeing now is that this is a point of Self-Deception, which is so odd. It often surprises me that all of these points are ‘simply’ Self-Deception.

2. When I open up points and Find the Process overwhelming

Okay – so after having been in hibernation and I start opening up points, I instantly get overwhelmed with the vastness of what this process requires of me. This is both in terms of stopping the Mind and in terms of understanding what it is we have made of ourselves. But what I also see is that this have been a ‘problem’ for me from the beginning. I have tried to get an overview, to do it all at once, seen it in a time-perspective and again: total Self-Deception. Why is this Self-Deception? – Because it is Self-Limitation where no Self-Limitation is – it is make-belief-real. And I know from practical experience that in One Breath at the time, anything is possible. But it is a matter of Directing myself effectively and Self-Honestly within what is Here, straight on, no postponement.  There is another point within this and that is the acceptance of even having a choice. It is like I have been saying; ‘Well I can see that this is impossible or gonna take a hell of a lot of time, so I’m out’ – but within that I have totally deceived myself – because, there is no out. And in accepting the out, I have Accepted so much more Suffering to continue. I AM able to Face this. I have no Choice. Choice is Self-Deception. Fuck Choice. From that perspective I can see how a part of the Solution to Stop myself within this, is to Dare – because in doing so, overriding these systems that I have taken myself for granted within. There is another belief I just realized, which is not directly in relation to this and still is and that is that I have believed that I could not do this by myself – but that is another Self-Deception through the Acceptance of Limitation. Fuck there is a lot of those.

3. When I ‘see’ myself – judgment, beliefs, limitations, self-deception accumulating/manifesting in actions)

This is actually what I see as the most challenging part – because this is where I have ‘made myself’ ‘Barren’ – this is the manifestation of the belief and the ‘failure’ as ‘Real’ – a lot of quotation marks here, because it is involving points that are not real, but that I have made real. The two points within all of this that are sticking out are: Self-Deception through Self-Limitation. That is the essence of what I have done here. So this point is basically how I have Lived the Self-Deception, the Self-Limitation. I have Accepted that I have failed and that I thereby was barren – but there is an important note to Self Here and that is that this is not the first time I have done this. This is relevant because I show myself within this, that it is the belief in itself that is the point – Okay, pointing the point out in detail: This time, my failure was that I started smoking again and that I chose Self-Interest and Mind and Personality over Principle, over Process and over Life – I made ‘choice’ real. But from the very beginning of where I entered into Process Directly – I had already accepted myself as a failure, I was so afraid of making mistakes and desired so bad to succeed within this. So – my reasons for having accepted myself as ‘barren’ are not valid – I made the failure a ‘reality’, I made myself barren. Some points I see as relevant within this is Self-Trust on the Support-side and on the other side is the point of Self-Responsibility – in understanding and acting according to: That I have done this to myself. So I might be ashamed of having failed, but I was the one that created the possibility of failing in the first place. It reminds me of How God was angry at Adam and Eve for eating of the Tree of Knowledge and no one ever considers that God was the one that created the tree and that created Adam and Eve with the desire or curiosity in the first place. – No one ever blames God. God is not Responsible. But I am – and it is only by Facing myself, without judgment, without emotion, without reaction, without personality – that I can start taking that upon myself. I could have ended this. I could have pushed through a million times. I could have stood Equal. But I did not – and it is simply tough, but now I have to Face it. This is the only Gift I can give to myself. The gift of Facing myself in Self-Honesty. So – What I am dealing with Here is as I have mentioned many times already, Self-Deception through Self-Limitation and Abdication of Self-Responsibility and Self-Creation.

Therefore I must – I had written deal. But I see that the word ‘deal’ implies an exchange. I don’t negotiate with terrorists or kidnappers and this belief is me having Allowed myself to betray and deceive myself – So – there will be no negotiating necessary. I Stop. I Stop and I Dare. I Allow myself to be new. To Start again in this moment, however broken, failed, defeated I have Accepted myself as. I Stand. I Stand up for me. I Stand up for Life. I don’t believe it – I still doubt myself. But I now have this Support – to Dare not to Accept it as Real – I now know that Self-Limitation is Self-Deception. What I however am going to be careful with, is this point I have mentioned before where I will confess my sins or start making promises that I do not keep. Because it is as if these promises and that I don’ keep them is a part of this whole Self-Deception: ‘ See, I knew I couldn’t trust myself’ or to others: ‘See, I couldn’t be trusted’  – ‘now leave me alone’. NO – I am not going to leave myself alone. I am going to be so annoying to myself. Expose all Self-Deception and Self-Dishonesty. I am not going to leave myself alone!

(I am listening to Pink Floyd while I am writing this – it is awesome)

So – Now I have written this out. Now it is time to take Self-Responsibility and let go.

When I hear about Birthing Life from the Physical – Making ideas about what Birthing myself as Life from the Physical means

1.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself deliberately  through self-limitation through accepting beliefs as real

2.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept myself to Believe that I am unable to Birth myself as Life from the Physical

3.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept failure as a possibility

4.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience fear and feel pressure and feeling ‘left out’ when I hear Bernard or others talking about Birthing Life from the Physical, instead of having Stopped myself in these moments, realizing that this experience is not real , that I have deceived myself through self-limitation, through accepting myself within the mind, as personality as Separate from the words that are spoken  – forgiving myself, letting go and Breathing through the Experience and Stand unconditionally and Equal with the Words that are spoken.

5.        I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to listen with personality when I have heard Bernard or others talking about Birthing Life from the Physical

6.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to pre-accept myself as a failure before hearing Bernard or others talking about Birthing Life from the Physical and thereby interpreting what I hear into the pre-accepted belief that I have failed already

7.       I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Direct myself through Unconditionality, Common Sense and Self-Honesty when I have heard Bernard or others talk about Birthing Life from the Physical

8.       I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to pre-limit myself before listening to Bernard or others talking about Birthing Life from the Physical and thereby define myself as a failure and as limited and thus making myself unable to listen unconditionally in Common Sense and Self-Honesty

9.       I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to make myself aware that I was creating and Accepting my experience and definition of myself as a failure and as limited

10.   when I have heard Bernard or others talk about Birthing Life from the Physical

11.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to only listen with pre-conceived knowledge when I have heard Bernard or others talk about Birthing Life from the Physical, instead of having Allowed myself to listen unconditionally

12.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept myself as Separate from Birthing myself as Life from the Physical

13.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see Birthing Life from the Physical as ‘too perfect’ and thereby having believed that  I cannot possibly be allowed to be a part of this – thus:

14.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept myself as Less than Birthing Life from the Physical and thereby Separating myself from Birthing myself as Life from the Physical

15.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make myself more than Birthing myself as Life from the Physical by forming opinions and knowledge and choices about Birthing myself as Life from the Physical, wherein I have believed, experienced and Accepted myself as less than Birthing myself as Life from the Physical and thus having Separated myself from myself as Life, as All as One as Equal Here

16.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define Birthing myself as Life from the Physical from within the acceptance of myself as Mind, Ego, knowledge and Personality and thus having Allowed myself to interpret Birthing myself as Life from the Physical according to pre-conceived and accepted beliefs about myself, instead of realizing that this is about Birthing Self as Life by Stopping Self as the Mind – which is exactly about How I have Accepted me to Exist

17.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define Birthing myself as Life from the Physical specifically according to ‘making it’ within the acceptance of Survival and fear of Death as a basis for my existence

18.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define Birthing myself as Life from the Physical specifically according to having Accepted Life as a competition, wherein I have believed, experienced and Accepted that I am fighting with others to Survive

19.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to form beliefs about what Birthing myself as Life from the Physical means according to how I have Accepted, deceived and Limited myself within the Mind as an Acceptance of Separation of myself as Life

20.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to when I hear that not all will make it, I immediately have accepted that I will not. ‘That is probably me’ – instead of realizing that I within doing so, have deceived myself into justifying not Standing for and as Life.

21.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to take every thing I hear personally – and thereby accept, experience, define and manifest myself as personality only

22.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest that I will not make it and thereby justify why I am not Standing up – instead of realizing that I am the Creator of Everything I Accept

23.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear Allowing myself to Birth myself as life From the Physical and thereby implying that I Accept fear as the Directive Principle of me – and because Fear is not Real and created through the Mind, it implies that I am not Real and that I have accepted something that is not Real to Direct me as me

24.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear trusting that it IS possible to Birth myself as Life from the Physical, based on a pattern wherein I have protected myself through believing the worst and always making a low score to not be disappointed, when it fails

25.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept failure, disappointment and defeat as a base premises of my existence and within this:

26.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that by accepting  failure, disappointment and defeat before hand, I am actually doing myself a favor and protecting myself from being hurt, instead of realizing that this is a pattern of Self-Deception, Limitation and survival within personality of the Mind and that by Accepting something as Real long enough – I make it ‘real’, even though it is not.

27.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that we are not Able to Birth ourselves as Life from the physical based on this pattern of Self-Protection and abdication to Fear

When I open up points and Find the Process overwhelming

28.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to become overwhelmed with the vastness of the process of Stopping the Mind and Standing up for Life

29.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use the experience of being overwhelmed by the vastness of the process of Stopping the Mind and Standing up for Life, as an excuse and justification for not pushing, not applying and not Standing up

30.   I Forgive myself that I within having Accepted and Allowed myself to experience myself overwhelmed with the vastness of the process of Stopping the Mind and Standing up for Life have justified not Standing up

31.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to generate the experience of being overwhelmed with the Vastness of what Process requires from 1) fear based on still accepting myself as personality specifically within the point of Standing up in Action  and 2) having allowed myself to place process into a thought-process as an idea of process, thus defining process according to and within and as the mind, to limitation and knowledge – instead of applying Common Sense and Self-Honesty in One Breath at the time Walking myself through Process as a Living of Birthing myself as Life from the Physical

32.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept myself to limit myself through thinking about the vastness of Process and thereby generating the experience of being overwhelmed instead of Slowing myself down, stopping all thoughts, limitation and conditioning and walking One Breath at the time

33.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to participate in, experience and abdicate myself to fear of not being Accepted and Liked by other people if I do not participate in personality

34.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify for myself having to live and participate in and as personality based on the belief and fear that otherwise people will not accept and like me and they will judge – within this:

35.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame others for me living and participating in and as personality instead of taking Self-Responsibility and correcting myself within the point of having believed and feared that others will judge me, not accept and like me if I do not participate and live in and as personality – and stopping through investigating what it is that I have held onto and limited and separated myself into and through

36.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I require others to like and accept me for me to accept and like myself and within that:

37.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to abdicate Self-Responsibility within correcting how I have not Accepted or liked myself onto whether or not others like or accept me, thereby:

38.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Separate myself from myself as Self-Creation, Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

39.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define Process according to Self-Limited and Self-Deceptive knowledge and ideas within and as the Mind and Personality as Separation – instead of Walking Process in Practicality Here as Life Equal and One

40.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that the experience of being overwhelmed is valid and real and within this:

41.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify and ‘make real’ the experience of being overwhelmed as real and valid, by thinking about all the points that I have not Stopped and Forgiven and Directed

42.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify and ‘make real’ the experience of being overwhelmed as real and valid, by thinking about me being behind – when in fact this experience of being overwhelmed is something I have experienced all through my process and before have justified in other ways

43.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create the experience of being overwhelmed so that I did not have to take Self-Responsibility and actually Apply myself diligently and so that I could justify not Standing up – thus:

44.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself to Accept myself as Mind, Personality, Memories, Emotions, Thoughts and Feelings only – as Separation of myself Here as Life, instead of Realizing that I have Created the experience of being overwhelmed and therefore I can delete and stop it and myself within participating in it as real.

45.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create the experience of being overwhelmed through trying to make it all at once, through trying to do it all at once instead of Slowing myself down, Breathing and Supporting myself in simplicity and Common Sense

46.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create the experience of being overwhelmed by having Allowed myself to think about process as a race against others and against times

47.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create the experience of being overwhelmed through being hard on myself and believing that being hard on myself is the way to go – when I have proved to myself that it is through gentleness, specificity, patience, Self-Support and humility that I am able to Walk effectively

48.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create the experience of being overwhelmed  through desiring to be first, to be the best, to be up front, to be a leader, to be a Desteni VIP and within this:

49.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to perceive, experience and define process as a competition to win and to beat over the others – instead of realizing that this implies that I have Accepted myself as Separate from myself and have accepted the game of survival as the basis for my process – thus understanding process through the Mind and not as a Process of Life Equal and One Here as All Life

50.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience shame within writing that I have wanted to be the best, to be up front, to be a leader, to be a Desteni VIP

51.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that the experience of being overwhelmed is a real problem that justifies me not Standing up

52.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to postpone myself and through that:

53.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself into not applying myself and Standing up by saying that I will do something later – when in fact I have not

54.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that postponement is Self-Deception and within that push through and when something comes up, do it immediately and if necessary prioritize in a practical way that is Best for All

55.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I have a choice in whether or not I am going to Stand up

56.   I Forgive myself that I through having Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I have a choice in whether I am Standing up or not, have manifested this choice as real for myself  and within this:

57.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself  having allowed myself to leave and backdoor open for not Standing up and for within that having verified myself as a mind-consciousness-system as Separation, Abuse and Denial of myself here as Life, Equal and One

58.   I Forgive myself that I through having Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that there is a choice, have manifested this choice for myself and in this choosing Self-Interest, Mind, Deception, Suppression, Greed, Abuse, Separation, Delusion and Suffering over myself as Life Here Equal and One

59.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I am unable to let go of the belief that there is a choice and that I within that have made it impossible for me to Stand up – Instead of simply not Accepting choice

60.   I Forgive myself that I within having Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept choice as Real, have allowed myself to chose Self-Interest over Life

61.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to regret that I within having Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept choice as Real, have allowed myself to chose Self-Interest over Life

62.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience and participate in Shame of having Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept choice as Real, have allowed myself to chose Self-Interest over Life

63.   I Forgive myself that I within having Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept choice as Real, have Accepted and Allowed Suffering Abuse, Separation and Deception to continue in and as this world, in and as me

64.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Stand Accountable for within having Accepted and Allowed myself to Accept choice as Real, have Accepted and Allowed Suffering, Abuse, Separation and Deception to continue

65.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I have a right to make a choice

66.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make myself an executioner of Life

67.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest Suffering, Abuse, Separation and Deception through having believed choice to be real and valid

68.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that by accepting choice as real and valid, I automatically Accept Suffering, Abuse, Separation and Deception as the Directive Principle and Manifestation of myself as Life

69.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that by choosing not to Apply myself within this process of Standing up, I make everything a lot easier for myself – instead of realizing that I within making that choice, have chosen Hell over Heaven for myself and for everyone else

70.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify being superior over All Life in making the choice of not Standing up, through having Accepted myself as inferior, Separate and limited within process

71.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be disgusted with myself for having been superior over All Life in making the choice of not Standing up, through having Accepted myself as inferior, Separate and limited within process

72.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear the consequences I will Face of having believed and justified choice as real and valid

73.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I cannot forgive myself for having believed and manifested choice to be real and valid – instead of Realizing that Forgiving myself is exactly not a choice and that if I am to Stand up, I am to expose and forgive myself to amalgamate myself as Life as All as One as Equal as Life – and that within doing so I am setting myself free and Birthing myself as Directive Principle as Life

74.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I am not able to Stand up on my own instead of Realizing that this is yet another Self-Limited Self-Deception and that there is no other way than me Standing up on my own and simply not accept any excuses that are presented as a way out

When I ‘see’ myself – judgment, beliefs, limitations, self-deception accumulating/manifesting in actions)

75.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to live the belief, acceptance and definition of myself as a failure

76.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to live the belief, acceptance and definition of myself as unable to Birth myself as life from the Physical

77.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to validate the belief and acceptance of myself as having failed, fallen and unable to Stand up and Birth myself as Life from the Physical  – instead of realizing that it is within accepting failure and falling as possible in the first place, that I have manifested it as ‘real’ within my reality and thereby:

78.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to focus and fuel the point of me failure and falling, instead of Directing and Correcting myself within having believed and accepted failure and falling as real in the first place

79.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make myself fail

80.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make myself fall

81.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create and manifest failure

82.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create and manifest falling

83.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use failing and falling as an excuse and justification for not Standing up, for not giving up personality and for not Pushing through self-accepted limitations

84.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself to fear making mistakes

85.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that it is bad making mistakes and that I am bad if I make mistakes

86.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest myself making mistakes by fuelling the point of mistakes and placing energy and importance to mistakes through fearing and judging them as bad

87.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to realize that mistakes can be corrected

88.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that there are some mistakes that cannot be corrected, instead of Standing as the Directive Principle of myself

89.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept that there are some mistakes that cannot be corrected

90.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that by accepting failure as real and as possible, I have made myself fail

91.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that by accepting failure as real and possible, I have submitted myself to failure and I have accepted myself as less than failure

92.   I Forgive myself that I through having Accepted failure as real and possible, have made myself fail

93.   I Forgive myself that I through having Accepted failure as real and possible, have submitted myself to failure and have accepted myself as less than failure

94.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to succeed within process and thereby making myself less than succeeding within process

95.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be Directed by the fear of failing and  of the desire to succeed

96.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to desire to succeed within process – instead of realizing that where there is a desire, there is Separation from myself as that point that I have allowed myself to Desire – instead of simply being it

97.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear failing in process and thereby allowing myself to manifest that as real, – instead of realizing that where there is a desire, there is Separation from myself as that point that I have allowed myself to Desire – instead of simply being it

98.   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to be ashamed of having failed and thereby have given fuel to failing as a reality

99.   I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that I am Responsible for having failed and fallen, because I accepted failing and falling as real in the first place

100.                   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deliberately make promises and deals with myself and then not keep them to prove that I cannot be trusted or trust myself, instead of Realizing that I have done this deliberately to deceive myself into not Standing up, based on having submitted myself to the belief that it is easier not to Face myself and the belief that I am not able to Birth myself as Life from the Physical anyway

101.                   I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that I am protecting myself by under-scoring and doubting myself so that I don’t get hurt – instead of Realizing that by doing that I am accepting myself as Less than what I am – which, not matter how hard or long I try to run from myself – is All as One as Equal as Life.

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