Today I noticed the obvious point again in school of how I immediately ‘cave in’ to the point of being in a group, wanting to be liked, to be seen as ‘something’ (Insert here —————) and I have told myself before I leave the house that I will not dress to look good and I will not participate with the others to be liked. And there I go, out the door doing it all over again. Why? Because it is automated and within the ‘telling myself to’ not do it, I am actually not considering the point – and that I have to walk it into correction in the moment and not in the mind projected into the future – That I know too very well. Being trapped in the now of consciousness, always looking back and forth for answers. Another point that is beginning to ‘take shape’ is the point of the energy-addiction. Because it has been quite prominent how I, when there is people around me, will suddenly ‘come to life’, while alone, I collapse. Ha, right here the image of me 8 months ago popped up again accompanied by a melancholic sadness like loosing a friend. But how about me deciding to walk myself into that point? Is that possible? I have not taken the step today. But I will. I am. One of the first things on my list, is to go back to the writings I did yesterday where so many points popped up and then go through them one point at the time, clearing them up. It is still the same point I am facing: First dealing with the accumulated energy, the energy-addiction and then thoughts and then I can start taking on points again. I am walking it Here because I am writing again. I am also going to do a vlog to establish myself again in a point of Self-Support and exposure. That is it for now.

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