SRA Session 02-Apr-10

This is an example of a SRA session, where I cross referenced with Veno’s structural Resonance document, which is providing an awesome support for the work with SRA, where it is possible to get ‘all around’ a specific point. It shows how effective SRA is to get straight to the point.

Status:

Physical:

Vaginal ‘unbalance’

Pain in left shoulder blade

Pain in thighs/back

Heavy/restricted breathing

Feeling heavy

Thoughts:

Unsatisfied with my application

Ego, postponement, excuses etc.

Thinking about sexual experiences – fear of ‘going off’

Points I see as relevant to work with:

How do I give up/stop ego/self interest?

How do I become effective within application?

How do I best support myself in going back to Denmark?

How do I best work with/apply self-forgiveness?

Stopping Fear

Self-Discipline

What is the priority-Point for me to work with in this session

(all ‘answers’ are checked with muscle communication|)

Pain in thighs

How do I best work with/apply self-forgiveness?

Am I required to identify the origin of the pain in the thighs? YES

Specifically do to with self-forgiveness

How I’ve limited myself in both application and definition

The experience/belief that there is something wrong with me relevant

Check Veno’s S.R for points on thighs.

Write about definition of Self-Forgiveness

Thighs:

Yesterday I was lying in bed in the morning – and was investigating thoughts/reactions within me. I noticed that when a thought ‘came up’ it sort of latched on to a specific point on my body according to how I reacted to the thought. Most thoughts went to the legs and I experienced it as a contraction, pulling in, tightening every time I reacted to a thought, similar to a shock.

From Veno’s Structural Resonance:

Balancing/stability points within the system – keeping self ‘controlled’/’contained’ so to not go insane.

‘The THIGH points contain your structural resonance, manifested ‘support foundation design’ – that which you have defined as the ‘support foundation’ of who you are as the structural resonance within the System.’

‘So, that which assists you in remaining who you are as a structural resonance within the system exists in your THIGH points as

the manifested ‘support foundation design’ of the structural resonance.’

1. Manner of speaking/communicating copied/duplicated from the most influential beings in your world during the development stages of your own ‘individualized support foundation design.
2. Vocabulary and choice of words, sentence structuring etc.
3. Behaviours : Usually reactive instead of directive (this is where defense/protection mechanisms come forth which you also copied/duplicated during childhood).
4. The polarity and morality establishments: What is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’, what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ which contain both polarity and morality equations – that which consciousness systems within you require to maintain constant inner conflict within yourself as you resist, deny and judge that which is apparently ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ and try to control your world in pleasing others and presenting an accepted picture presentation of self of that which is acceptable to the society/the world as that which is ‘right’ and ‘good’. This is how you’re set up to become a ‘normal human being’. (They have implemented the system referred to as ‘The Secret’ which presents the manifestation of the polarity/morality system within consciousness existence in this world and within all of humanity.)

The relevant point within this for me to look at is how I’ve designed ‘individual defense mechanisms’ specifically copied from my mother as she was my primary caretaker.

Ways to cope: suppress, deny

I can see how this is relevant in terms of my current experiences with actually letting go of those mechanisms, but also finding myself in situations, specifically revolving around food, where I stand, move, act exactly like my mother – like a copy. Right now I do not see the specific link to application of self-forgiveness though. So the pain in my thighs is occurring because (testing through possible causes) I have become aware of it, as the ‘experience’ was there all along, I was just not aware of it. In regards to self-forgiveness it tests out that it is relevant in terms of re-designing my support foundation. So I have this whole system of ‘self-protection’ which serves to keep me existing within and as a mind-consciousness-system and I am now to transform that in to actual self-support – also within the realization that I do not require to protect myself.

How I have seen/defined/experienced self-forgiveness:

I see self-forgiveness, especially in writing as something I have to do, as a chore or a punishment for having been bad. I understand that self-forgiveness in writing/speaking works and when I do and have applied it for myself, I really enjoy it. But I have to push myself to do it and often the startingpoint is the ‘need’ for forgiveness by someone else/outside separate from me (Bernard/Sunette e.g) instead of it being an actual forgiveness of and as myself. Actually forgiving myself in releasing and letting go is something I have found a lot easier and freeflowing. But it is not as structured as the other way of doing it by writing out sentence for sentence.

Then I have a perception that the only way ‘out of the mind’ is to write self-forgiveness statements on everything in my world, as precise and specific as possible. I have blamed myself for not having been persistent in doing so. I’ve experienced a lot of resistance towards it.What I understood was that it is unacceptable to ‘apply self-forgiveness’ if I also don’t direct the point to immediate correction. I experience the prospect of writing self-forgiveness. as tedious and extremely time-consuming. I have also experienced a lot of blame and self-judgment with regards to not having been effective within my application of self-forgiveness. I even did a long session on this and ‘though’ I had cleared it – but it was not completely cleared. It came out that the most effective for me was to live ‘self-forgiving’ and to stop obsessing over the fact that I have not done it in writing effectively, as I would like to.

I perceive self-forgiveness in writing specifically as the most important tool in process and therefore by not doing it, I basically say that I don’t give a shit. That I don’t forgive myself. But when I look at my starting-point within this experience, it is in spite – because self-forgiveness is ‘something’ that I am supposed to do, because someone else said so – the ‘right thing to do’. I am not in it. While actually letting go, correcting and changing is something I am comfortable with and trust myself to do as far as I am self-honest and self-directive within the point. I’ve also experienced an increase in this. But I can also see how some points are so integrated that I do not ‘just stop’ even though I see the point.

My biggest point of excuse for not writing self-forgiveness is that I don’t have time. There are so many points to cover and when I start writing self-forgiveness it simply keeps coming. I can write and write and write and write. I feel more comfortable applying out loud (not so much when there’s other people I know around though, but I have pushed that point) – but the difference seem to be that it is not as structured.

I check if this is sufficient and if I am required to add anything. It checks out as a NO. I check if there are any points where I’ve been self-dishonest – It checks out that there is a point of self-dishonesty within the sentence above specifically ‘I feel more comfortable applying out loud’. The point of self-dishonesty checks out as the ‘feel more comfortable’. When I look at it, I actually do enjoy self-forgiveness in writing. Actually a lot. It is just only now I Realize that, because it is the idea of self-forgiveness in writing that I do not enjoy (pressure, time consuming, I have to etc.)

Okay – so let’s bring the two points together:

Self-Support as System, as copied from my mother and re-designing that so that I Support me as Life instead of System

Self-Forgiveness

The belief/limitation of self-forgiveness in writing as time consuming

The definition of self-forgiveness within the starting point of separation

Accepting resistance towards applying self-forgiveness – system survival mechanism. By supporting that, I support my own self-enslavement.

The Primary point is to change my definition of self-forgiveness into self-support. The time factor is simply a point of self-discipline. If I accept the limitation, it will be there. Forgiving myself for resisting self-forgiveness, understanding the system that has gone into it.

1. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist applying self-forgiveness
2. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself for resisting to apply self-forgiveness, without understanding the system of resistance
3. I forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to take the system of resistance into consideration in terms of resisting to forgive myself
4. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to subject myself to the idea that self-forgiveness in writing is too time consuming
5. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to give up on myself with regards to self-forgiveness and simply not do it instead of pushing the point
6. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to expect myself to apply self-forgiveness, say I would do it and then postpone it as something that can wait
7. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that it okay that I do not apply self-forgiveness
8. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to define self-forgiveness as something I ‘have to do’ to be forgiven/permitted access to existence by Bernard
9. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that it is Bernard who ‘invented’ self-forgiveness
10. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see/define/experience myself as superior to self-forgiveness and in my delusion therefore believe that I did not require it
11. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see/define/experience myself as inferior to self-forgiveness in fearing it as being a ‘massive project’
12. I forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to see/define/experience self-forgiveness – as an actual release, letting go of myself as a mind-consciousness-system and within that understanding it as a structural tool in which I can actually disengage the programming that I have submitted myself to
13. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to place the value of self-forgiveness outside/separate from me
14. I forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself as self-forgiveness
15. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify not applying self-forgiveness in full application, simply by being lazy
16. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to judge myself for having been too lazy to apply self-forgiveness
17. I forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that I actually really enjoy applying myself and that it merely the idea of applying myself that is ‘too much’
18. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to submit myself to the idea that writing self-forgiveness is too time consuming
19. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to resist writing self-forgiveness with the excuse that I could not ‘get done with it’ anyway and therefore just stopped doing it instead of supporting and pushing myself
20. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to make myself believe that I could ‘get around the programming’ in some other way than applying self-forgiveness within my delusional idea of myself as a superior to others hiding my inherent acceptance of myself as inferior – specifically within practicing and applying something that I am not ‘good at’ right away
21. I forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that my resistance towards applying self-forgiveness was a system-manifestation that I submitted to, because I did not wanted to change/be responsible/face myself
22. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to justify not applying self-forgiveness from the perspective that it takes me away from my responsibilities towards Desteni/Bernard – when it in fact is simply an excuse for not applying myself 100 %
23. I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame and judge myself for not applying myself 100 % and within that I forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to use guilt and self-judgement as an energetic excuse for not changing/taking responsibility

I Forgive myself – it is as simple as that. I understand that the programming i/we have subjected myself to is extensive and consuming – I understand that from having seen programming within myself clearly and yet not being able to change/stop.

I accept Self-Forgiveness as A) a structural tool of The Living Word – where I within the structure and discipline equal to the system-design deprogram and re-gain myself. B) an actual physical and complete letting go of myself as a system-enslavement, self-acceptance and Amalgation as everything that exists.

I push myself to apply self-forgiveness and within this use my muscle communication to Support me in becoming more specific and effective – within the understanding of the resistance and self-protection programming that has gone into keeping me ‘safe’ as a system and equally push myself through that.

When a point comes up that requires self-forgiveness I let everything else go and I write/speak/release

I make sure that I within applying self-forgiveness also apply the correction – in order to actually Change, unconditional release the point.

The Mind asks in ‘oh my god, this is soooo hard’: what about the multiple points, I can list a long list where self-forgiveness is required.

I can only do as much as in one Breath. Therefore I work with what is here in the moment. With regards to for example points that covers my life, I can take time off to focus on One specific point, like I have done now.

The session is complete

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