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I have had the same dream more than 10 times through out the last year. Always in different variations, different settings – but always the same scenario: I am being Physical and enjoying myself by moving my body in some abstract, impossible or amazing way. I feel the muscles stretching to their limit, surprised of what I am capable of. Last time I made a back flip. Another time I was flying and another doing the hoola hoop. Then a man or a boy walks by me, sometimes a boyfriend. I either stop what I am doing, get distracted or simply cannot do it anymore because I am focused on getting HIS attention. As soon as he enters the picture, I don’t give a shit about self-expression. I just want him to notice me. Usually he is neutral, talking or walking by me. That is the dream sequence.
Last night I had a similar dream, but it was different. I walked into a public pool with some friends. Several men, boyfriends where there as well. The pool was crowded but dim, almost completely dark. I had prepared myself well, all though I was surprised that we were going to the pool. As we arrived I left my friends, I put on glasses, ear plugs and a cap and I went straight to the pool. It was dark and I was calm and determined, as I went into the water.

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